


The Scarecrow and The Bell

by myaekingheart



Category: Naruto
Genre: Anbu Hatake Kakashi, Anxiety, Character Death, Childbirth, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Chronic Illness, Complicated Relationships, Depression, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Family Issues, Family Secrets, Fluff and Smut, Friendship/Love, Grandmothers, Grief/Mourning, Hatake Kakashi-centric, Hokage Hatake Kakashi, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kakashi Gaiden, Kid Hatake Kakashi, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Female Character of Color, Love Confessions, Near Death Experiences, Original Character Death(s), Original Character-centric, Parent Hatake Kakashi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Pregnancy, Protective Hatake Kakashi, Rokudaime Hatake Kakashi, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sex, Strained Friendships, Strained Relationships, Wakes & Funerals
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-18
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2019-06-29 02:33:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 37
Words: 154,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15720174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myaekingheart/pseuds/myaekingheart
Summary: An account of the tumultuous, decades-long relationship between the Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake, and the Konoha bookshop owner's daughter, Rei Natsuki. Check out the AMV here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W3Xh5W_BsNQ





	1. A Girlfriend for Kakashi

“Hey, Naruto?” Sakura asked, eyes locked on her food. She had barely eaten anything since their orders arrived. A sad, almost thoughtful looked painted her face. “Can I ask you something?”

 _Oh boy, is she finally gonna confess that she likes me?!?!_ Naruto thought to himself excitedly. He urged her to continue.

“Don’t you think it’s kind of weird that Kakashi-sensei doesn’t have a girlfriend?”

Naruto’s face fell. “Uh…what do you mean?”

“Well, the entire time we followed him, we never saw any indication of him having someone and, I don’t know, don’t you think he’d be kind of lonely?” Sakura explained. She could just picture Kakashi coming home from a long day to an empty apartment, no one to keep him company except maybe that houseplant that Naruto gave him. There was just something so sad about it. Everyone deserved to fall in love, she thought.

“I’m sure he’s fine. He’s got those dirty books to keep him company” Naruto replied coolly, brushing off Sakura’s words. If anything, Kakashi’s disinterest in women was a breath of fresh air after spending time with the pervy sage. Even if their sensei liked to read the sannin’s stupid books.

Sakura growled and whacked Naruto on the head. “You idiot! Books are not a replacement for human connection!” 

“Jeez, Sakura, stop hitting me, would you?” Naruto replied, rubbing his head. “So what are we supposed to do about it? If Kakashi-sensei wanted a girlfriend, don’t you think he would’ve gotten one himself by now?”

“I don’t know” Sakura replied thoughtfully. “Maybe he’s shy. Maybe he doesn’t know how to talk to women and that’s why he’s still single.”

“Listen, Sakura, you saw the way Ayame at the ramen shop looked at him when he took his mask off. I don’t think Kakashi-sensei needs words to get a date” he said, stuffing a piece of barbecue pork in his mouth.

Sakura rested her chin in her hands, growing tiresome. “Still, I can’t help but feel like there has to be something we can do to help. Maybe we could set him up?”

“Listen, Sakura, I don’t know why you’re suddenly so desperate to go meddling into Kakashi-sensei’s love life but if this will get you to shut up about it, then fine” Naruto replied. He swallowed another piece of pork before rising from his seat, placing one foot on the table and raising a fist in the air triumphantly. “Let’s get Kakashi-sensei a girlfriend!” he shouted. Then, after a moment of silence, he added, “And also the bill!”

Sakura and Naruto strolled through Konohagakure together in deep thought. How do you even shop for a girlfriend? And for someone else, at that? What kind of woman would Kakashi-sensei even want? “I think he’d go for the badass, sexy type like Kurenai-sensei!” Naruto replied. His friend shook her head.

“Really? I think he’d rather have a girlfriend whose sweet and shy. Someone who’s not a ninja!” Sakura said. She just couldn’t imagine Kakashi dating someone in the same career field. It would make things too difficult and plus, she felt as if he was the kind of guy who would want to keep his work life separate from his personal life. Or at least that’s how he seemed. She remembered the very first day they spent with him, when they all had to introduce themselves. _I have no intentions of telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream... I have few hobbies._

No intention of telling his likes and dislikes. Which was going to make their job much, much harder. The two ninja spent the rest of the afternoon running around from place to place trying to find eligible women they thought Kakashi might like. The only issue was that it was hard to find eligible women at all. “It’s like every woman in this town is taken!” Naruto complained.

“Well, not _every_ woman” Sakura corrected, “but a lot of them” she then added in defeat. So far, they had only found three candidates: a cute waitress from the dango shop, a jonin who acted like they were wasting her time, and a woman that Konohamaru suggested that was apparently a family friend working reception at the hospital. Sakura wasn’t sure if any of them were really right for Kakashi-sensei, but it seemed like they were the only available women in the village, or at least the only ones willing to speak with them. Now all they had to do was pair them up and see how they fared in the dating game.

The next afternoon, Naruto and Sakura tracked down Kakashi on his way to nowhere in particular. “H-Hey Kakashi-sensei, what are you up to?” Naruto grinned.

Kakashi eyed his student suspiciously. “Nothing…why do you ask?”

“Nothing? That’s great!” Sakura exclaimed.

“What’s so great about it?” Kakashi asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Well, if you’re doing nothing, then that means you have time to do something!” Naruto explained. “And boy do we have something in mind” he then added with a mischievous chuckle.

Clearly the two genin were onto something. Granted, when were they not onto something? Kakashi sighed and closed his book. “I’m not sure I even want to ask this, but what are you two up to?”

“We need your help with something! At the dango shop!” Sakura explained. She motioned for him to follow before her and Naruto ran off.

“The dango shop, huh?” Kakashi said to himself thoughtfully. He paused for a moment before sighing and strolling after them. They darted down the streets, weaving past small crowds of people, until skidding to a halt outside the little restaurant. “Alright, now that we’re here, what is it that you need me for?”

“Well…” Sakura replied sweetly. She clasped her hands behind her back and dug her toe into the dirt, tilting her head charmingly. “We were wondering if you could help us pick out some dango! We’re not sure what flavor we should get, and we figured maybe you would know!”

“Uh-huh…” Kakashi replied quietly. “Well, I’m sorry but I don’t think I can be of any help. I don’t really know—” Before he could say anything more, Sakura and Naruto dragged him inside. As soon as they passed the threshold, they were assaulted by a strong sugary scent enough to get you high on it’s own. The two genin dragged him all the way to the counter displaying all the different kinds of delicacies they offered. A blonde woman with a purple bow in her hair was standing with her back to the two of them, packaging a box of treats for another customer.

“Uh, excuse me, miss?” Naruto asked, trying to restrain inexplicable laughter. The woman paused, her back straightening a moment, before peering over her shoulder at him shyly. She stared at him for a moment before the widest grin any of them had ever seen spread across her face. “Do you mind helping us out here?” Naruto added with a wink.

“Oh, of course!” the woman gushed. “Let me just finish boxing these up for that man over there and I’ll be right over to help you!” Naruto nodded, glancing over his shoulder to Sakura who covered her mouth as she giggled. Kakashi glanced between the two of them, growing rather uncomfortable with the prospect of whatever was going on here. The young woman handed the nearby man his box and then approached them again, holding her fists up to her chest adorably. “Alright, what can I help you three with?”

“We were wondering if you could help us here find the best flavor dango!” the young shinobi said. “Our friend here doesn’t know which kind to get so if you could tell us all about them”—then added a little quieter, “And maybe your likes, your dislikes, your idea of the perfect date, hmm-mm-mm-mm, stuff like that”— “That’d be great!”

“Well you’ve come to the right place, you three! I consider myself a dango expert!” she replied with a giggle. She ducked behind the counter and motioned to the display, opening her mouth to begin her spiel, but before she could continue Sakura interrupted.

“Oh, wait! Before you start, I think we ought to introduce ourselves! I am Sakura Haruno, this is my friend Naruto Uzumaki and _this_ ” she motioned to the jonin with them, “Is our sensei, Kakashi Hatake! Isn’t he handsome?”

“Aren’t I what?” Kakashi muttered as Sakura shoved him closer to the display. The young woman blushed and fluttered her lashes.

“So wonderful to meet all of you! I am Amai Ogori!” she greeted back with a peace sign, a wink, and a pop of her foot. Her rosy eyes dazzled. She ran a pink-lacquered finger across the glass display and then began pointing out all the different flavors of dango and explaining them in great depth. As she did so, Naruto and Sakura backed away to give Amai and Kakashi some space, listening into the conversation for a moment more before giggling to each other and sneaking out of the shop.

“Piece of cake! Kakashi-sensei will have a date in no time!” Naruto said triumphantly. Sakura nodded and grinned.

“Amai would be perfect for him! She’s so sweet, there’s no way he can say no!” she added.

“Say no to what?” a familiar voice spoke from behind them. The two turned around slowly to find none other than their sensei standing before them. The genin both shrieked in surprise, stammering about how he was supposed to be in there speaking with her but Kakashi simply shook his head and started walking off.

“Wait a second! Kakashi-sensei, come back! I thought you were talking to Amai!” Naruto ran after him.

“I was until I noticed you two were gone. I didn’t see any reason to stick around if you didn’t” he explained.

“B-but weren’t you going to buy some dango? And get to know Amai? I thought you were two were really hitting it off!” Sakura protested.

“Where did you get an idea like that?” the jonin remarked. “Listen, I only went in there because you two dragged me. Amai was perfectly pleasant, but not exactly my cup of tea, and I’m sorry to tell you guys but I don’t actually like sweets!” The jonin smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck. “If you’re looking for recommendations, I’d seek help elsewhere.” And with that, he walked off.

Naruto and Sakura stared at him blankly as he disappeared, defeated. “Well, that was a disaster” Sakura said.

“And whose idea was this again?” Naruto asked, glaring at his comrade. It took all of two seconds for Sakura to whack him on the head again.

“We cannot give up! Amai may not have been the right woman for Kakashi-sensei, but we still have two more contenders left! I will not let this end without getting Kakashi a date!” she shouted. Her enthusiasm was a little shocking, truthfully—Naruto couldn’t exactly figure out what it was that made her suddenly so crazy about playing matchmaker. Maybe with Sasuke gone, she just needed something to fill the void. _Yeah, well if she can’t get a date with grumpy pants, why doesn’t she just ask out me?_ Naruto grumbled to himself.

The next day, the two of them tracked down Kakashi yet again. “Alright, what do you two want this time?” he asked, this time not even looking up from his book.

“What? What do you mean? What makes you think we want something?” Naruto laughed nervously. Sakura punched him in the arm as if to silently tell him to keep his cool. He never was a very good liar, and she did not need him blowing their cover.

“We were just wondering if you could help us find something” Sakura explained. “You see, I lost this necklace the other day and Naruto and I have been looking all over for it but haven’t had any luck. Do you think you could help us?”

Kakashi sighed and put his book away. “Alright, I suppose I have the time. Where did you last remember having it?” Sakura thought for a moment before exclaiming and dragging her friend and sensei this way and that throughout the whole village. There was something not quite right about this, it seemed. Did Sakura even wear necklaces? Kakashi didn’t recall. Quite frankly, he hadn’t really paid that close attention.

His students dragged him all the way around Konohagakure until they finally reached the base of the mountain where all the hokages were chiseled. “Maybe it’s over here!” Sakura shouted, running off to a rather large bush by the staircase. Kakashi sighed and reached for his book again, though was quickly interrupted by Naruto.

“Kakashi-sensei, I thought you were going to help us look!” he shouted, instructing the young man to begin looking over by a pile of rock.

Admittedly, he didn’t do a very thorough job, but stood up after a few moments and announced he had found nothing anyways. Just as he was about to open his book once again, however, he was interrupted…again.

“Alright, kid, let’s make this quick” a smoky voice suddenly spoke. Chills ran down Kakashi’s spine. “I’ve got plans in an hour, so I suggest you introduce me to this guy before I get bored and walk away.”

“Okay, okay! He’s right here!” Naruto spoke. As Kakashi turned, his young student grabbed his hand and tugged him nearer to their guest. Standing before him was a rather tall and toned jonin with tanned skin and dark blue hair pulled out of her face. A cigarette hung from her taut mouth, and her eyebrows were arched in displeasure.

“Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!” she shouted the moment her and Kakashi’s eyes met.

“W-what’s the matter, Sekkachi?” Sakura asked nervously. She knew she never should’ve taken Naruto’s advice about what kind of women he thought their sensei liked. This was no doubt going to be disastrous.

“I think I can explain” Kakashi spoke up, breaking free of Naruto’s grasp. “Did you really think I wouldn’t know any other jonin in the village?”

“Well, you never seem to socialize with anyone. You’ve always got your nose in those dirty books!” Naruto rebuked.

“Ugh, I don’t have time for this, kid” the jonin, Sekkachi, spat. “If I would’ve known you were trying to pair me with Kakashi, I would’ve never agreed to this to begin with. You’re wasting my time.” She huffed a cloud of cigarette smoke before turning and waving them off as she departed.

Sakura and Naruto cringed at her reaction, slowly turning in preparation of Kakashi’s response. “Alright, what are you two trying to pull?”

“Us? Nothing!” Sakura exclaimed.

“We’re completely innocent!” Naruto chimed in.

“Uh-huh. Sure” Kakashi said, unimpressed. “And that would explain why Sekkachi, the least pleasant jonin in the village, mentioned something about you two trying to ‘pair me up’?”

The kunoichi sighed. “We just got the feeling that you were lonely, and we wanted to do something nice for you.”

Shaking his head, Kakashi rubbed the back of his neck and replied “Well, I appreciate the gesture but really, you don’t have to worry about a thing. I’m perfectly fine with the way things are.”

“That’s what I tried to tell her, sensei, but Sakura wouldn’t—” Naruto started, but she quickly interrupted with an angered glare and a slap to the arm.

“Don’t you worry, Sakura. I’m not lonely at all” Kakashi replied, kneeling down so he was eye level with his student. Despite the mask covering his face, it was clear he was smiling beneath it. “Now please, try not to meddle any more in people’s love lives. Don’t you two have anything better to do?”

Naruto and Sakura watched him bid them goodbye and start back down the path to the village. “Well, Sakura. You heard it yourself. Kakashi-sensei doesn’t want a girlfriend. I think our job here is finished.”

“What do you mean ‘our job here is finished’? Don’t you see he’s just trying to get us out of his business!” she shouted. “He doesn’t want to stay single! Look at him! He’s crying out for love!”

“Uh, Sakura, I think you’re reading a little too much into this” he replied back, rubbing the back of his neck.

Sakura’s face went deadpan. She knew she was going to have to resort to bribery if she wanted Naruto’s continued help. “I will buy you all the ramen you can eat if you don’t abandon me on this.”

 _Crap._ She knew his weakness all too well. “Fine” he sighed. “But just know I’m _only_ doing this for the ramen.” Sakura rolled her eyes and dragged him back down to the village.

The following afternoon, Sakura came running down the street in tears calling to Kakashi. He looked up from his book curiously, tilting his head as he noticed his student was absolutely hysterical. “What’s all this about? Sakura, what’s going on?” 

“It’s Naruto! He’s been hurt! Come on, we have to get to the hospital, and fast!” she exclaimed. Kakashi’s eyes instantly widened, wondering how the hell his student got himself hurt this time. Without a second thought, he raced after the kunoichi and followed her all the way to the hospital. She halted at the front desk where a bright-eyed receptionist was filing papers. “Hi, my name is Sakura Haruno, I’m here for Naruto Uzumaki!” she said through her tears. Immediately, the woman’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, Sakura!” she grinned, twirling a lock of brunette hair around her finger. “And who is this with you?” she asked, her cheeks reddening. She bit her lower lip flirtatiously.

“This is our sensei, Kakashi” Sakura introduced. “You know what? Why don’t I go back and make sure Naruto is okay, and you can stay here and chat for a minute, alright?” The young girl was gone before Kakashi could protest. As he turned back around, he caught the receptionist leaning over the counter, her breasts nearly spilling out of her dress.

“Uh…hello…” Kakashi greeted awkwardly with a tiny wave. His face turned beet red at the sight of her cleavage as she leaned even closer over the counter, heart eyes staring back at him.

“Hi there! I’m Hiretsuna!” she giggled.

 “Pleasure to meet you…” Kakashi said slowly.

“The pleasure’s all mine!” Hiretsuna replied, winking at him. An uneasiness spread across Kakashi’s chest and stomach. He peeked around the corner to see if Sakura was anywhere to be found, and then over his shoulder at the other people in the waiting room.

Sakura barged into a nearby hospital room and shrieked excitedly. Naruto was waiting for her, grilling her for answers. “I think this might be it! There’s no way he can say no this time!”

“I’ve gotta hand it to you, Sakura, I didn’t think Kakashi-sensei would be into girls like that but maybe you were right all along” he replied.

“Of course I was! I think I know how to read men a little better than you do, Naruto” she laughed. The sound of footsteps echoed down the hall, silencing her. With a gasp, she grabbed Naruto and slipped behind a room divider, hoping that whoever was entering would make their business quick.

“Alright, you two, you can come out now” Kakashi called. _Busted._ He signaled them to come forward, a stern expression on his masked face. “Well Naruto, I’m glad to see you recovered so quickly. The way Sakura was crying earlier, I would’ve thought every bone in your body was broken.”

“Heh, yeah, well, I mean…” Naruto stammered.

“How did things go with Hiretsuna?” Sakura asked innocently. Kakashi’s eyes narrowed.

“Oh, she told me everything” he said, undercurrents of exhaustion in his tone.  

“Uh…she did?” Sakura asked. The jonin nodded.

“Mmhmm. Said you two made your way in here the other day with Konohomoru looking for single women” Kakashi explained. “I thought I told you both yesterday to stop meddling in people’s love lives.”

“Well, you see, the thing is…that was after we had already gathered up the single women” Naruto explained. “We couldn’t just leave them hanging like that!”

“And how many single women are there, exactly?” Kakashi raised an eyebrow.

“Just the three!” Sakura replied. “Hiretsuna was the last one…”

“Uh-huh. Do you two really think I’m that lonely?” he asked. The two genin glanced at each other before nodding slowly in unison. Their sensei sucked in a deep breath and closed his eyes a moment in contemplation. “And you two aren’t going to let up on this until you get me a date, are you?”

“Well, I didn’t want to keep doing this but Sakura promised me all the ramen I could eat if I did so…” Naruto explained. One would think he’d realize how horrible that sounded when he said it aloud, but Naruto really only cared about the ramen here.

Kakashi rubbed his temples and shook his head. “Well, I can’t say you two aren’t relentless but I guess there’s only one way to solve this.” Naruto cocked his head to the side in curiosity. Sakura clasped her hands together tightly in front of her, eyes wide in anticipation. “Meet me at Yakiniku Q tomorrow at 1pm sharp.” Without another word, their sensei then turned around and left the room.

Naruto blinked a few times before racing down the hallway after him, shouting “What?! Hey, sensei, maybe I can negotiate with you here! How about we meet at Ichiraku ramen instead? Huh? Are you even listening to me? Kakashi-sensei!” Sakura’s shoulders dropped, a sigh escaping her lips as she shook her head and chased after him. He really was a lost cause, that Naruto.  

“So what do you think this is all about?” Sakura asked. She kept peering through the window, waiting to see if their sensei was anywhere to be found. He was supposed to be there fifteen minutes ago.

“I don’t know” Naruto replied, leaning back and settling his hands behind his head. “Maybe he brought us here to tell us we’ve been handling this all wrong.”

“What do you mean?” Sakura replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I mean maybe everyone we tried to pair him up with wasn’t the right— _ahem_ —type~” he said, making an obscene gesture with his hands to indicate what he was talking about. It took Sakura a minute before understanding what he meant, quickly growing offended at the prospect.

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei doesn’t strike me as that type of guy!” she replied.

“How do you know? Do you know a lot of those types of guys?” Naruto replied.

“Well…no…maybe? I don’t know! I never bothered to ask!” she shouted.

“Bothered to ask what?” a familiar voice interrupted from behind. They both turned to find Kakashi had finally showed up.

“Geez, took you long enough! Where were you, Kakashi-sensei?” Naruto asked.

“Just got lost on the path of life” he replied flippantly.

“Alright, Kakashi-sensei, what is all of this about?” Sakura replied, leaning forward in her seat. There was a particular glimmer in the jonin’s eyes that made her question the purpose of all of this. Truthfully, despite his issues with punctuality, she was scared he was going to stand them up, that whatever was going on right now was something he didn’t want to confront. Her nerves were getting the best of her. She tried to tell herself to just stay calm and see what happens. Whatever it is, it can’t be that bad…right?

“Well, I figured this was the best way to handle things. We’re in a public place so it should be harder for any of you to make a scene. I know I’m going to regret this, but I have someone I’d like you both to meet” he explained.

Naruto squinted and peered around the corner of their booth, pursing his lips in malcontent. “But you didn’t bring anybody! Is this some kind of joke?”

Kakashi chuckled and shook his head, peering out the window and motioning to someone amongst the small crowd in the street. The two genin waited with bated breath as the shadowy figure approached the front door. This was it. All that they had been anticipating was finally coming to fruition. All that they had been questioning would finally be revealed.

The door swung open and in came a rather short young woman with auburn hair tied up into a ponytail. Her bangs were long and covering one of her hazel eyes. Perhaps the most significant aspect of her, however, was that she was wearing a jonin uniform. The corner of her mouth smirked upward as she approached, sidling up next to Kakashi with arms crossed and a powerful, confident stance. “Naruto, Sakura, I’d like you both to meet my _friend_ , Rei.”

The way he said the word “friend”, and then proceeded to wrap his arm around her shoulders…could it be? No, that was impossible. Kakashi couldn’t possibly…

“Uh, sensei…are we missing something here?” Naruto asked, his eyes narrowed as he looked Rei up and down. He didn’t understand what was so special about one of Kakashi’s friends. She didn’t seem any different than the other jonin in the village, except for maybe her height. If Naruto didn’t know any better, he’d say she was roughly the same size as he was.

“Kakashi-sensei, I don’t understand” Sakura replied quizzically. “Is she your…?”

“Rei and I have known each other a long, long time” Kakashi explained with a slight nod. Sakura’s face turned bright red. So it was true.

“Couldn’t have been that long, I mean, how old is she? Fourteen?” Naruto asked, standing up to check their height difference. Rei narrowed her eyes. “Look, she’s only gotta be, like, an inch taller than I am!”

In one swift movement, Rei pinned Naruto’s arm behind his back and trapped him. “Are you making fun of my height, kid?” she growled in his ear. All the color drained from the young shinobi’s face as Kakashi placed a hand on the woman’s shoulder and lightly tugged her back.

“Easy now, he didn’t mean any harm by it. Naruto has a tendency to speak before he thinks” he said calmly. Rei slowly let the young ninja go, muttering _Clearly_ as she settled back into Kakashi’s grasp. “I probably should’ve mentioned that Rei is mildly sensitive about her height” he added quietly.

“Jeez, no kidding! She looked like she wanted to kill me!” Naruto exclaimed. As he sat back down, he quietly added, “Apparently her height’s not the only thing that’s short.”  

“Naruto!” Sakura scolded him from across the table.

“What did you say?!” Rei erupted, leaping forward to apprehend the kid again. Kakashi dove to catch and restrain her, blushing and apologizing to not only his students but to the others in the restaurant around them.

“Hey, Kakashi-sensei, what’s the big idea?! What was the point of all of this if you knew she would try to kill us?! I didn’t wake up with a death wish this morning, you know!”

“Well maybe if you hadn’t egged her on, you idiot!” Sakura chimed in.

“Rei, now let’s try to calm down” Kakashi tried to sooth her. “You’re kind of making a scene…”

Sakura buried her face in her hands—she should’ve known this would be disastrous. “We’re gonna get kicked out, aren’t we?” she groaned, sinking deeper and deeper into her seat. People were beginning to stare.

“I only said she was short!” Naruto pleaded. Rei immediately broke from Kakashi’s grip and lunged at the young shinobi, who escaped in the nick of time and proceeded to incite a mass chase scene, knocking over empty tables and breaking empty glasses that were seated on top of them.

“Come back here, you little twerp! You know, being short just means I’m closer to hell!”

“Oh man, this sucks! None of this would’ve happened if we just got ramen instead! Kakashi-sensei, a little help here? I’m too young to die…!”


	2. Secrets Revealed! The Truth About Kakashi-Sensei's Girlfriend

Kakashi and Rei walked alongside one another through Konoha, Sakura and Naruto close behind. There was something so strange about all of this: to think, Kakashi-sensei had a secret girlfriend. It didn’t seem right. Granted, there were a lot of things about Kakashi that were a secret to his students. It really should not have come as any surprise but to Sakura, a girlfriend was something of great importance. The person you give your love and your life to—and openly, not within the shadows. A part of her even wondered if any of this was real, that perhaps she was dreaming or this was all an act. Maybe Kakashi hired someone to pretend to be his girlfriend just to get her to stop trying to pair him up. Rei didn’t particularly look all that familiar to her, either. She hadn’t recalled ever seeing her in the village before, but maybe she just wasn’t paying close enough attention.

“So, uh, Kakashi-sensei” Naruto asked, placing his hands behind his head as he walked, “how long have you guys known each other, exactly?” He eyed Rei skeptically, confirming that Sakura’s suspicions were mutual. He, too, wondered how Kakashi could’ve ever kept his lover a secret for so long. And how she could ever stand a guy whose constantly reading dirty books.

Kakashi glanced back to his student and shook his head. “I already told you, we’ve known each other a long, long time” he replied.

Sakura pursed her lips. “But that doesn’t tell us anything. How long is a long, long time? Like how many years?”

“You guys seem to be asking for some wildly specific stuff” Rei commented. “Who needs numbers anyways? They mean nothing.”

“Okay…” Sakura replied slowly. “Well, then can you at least tell us how you met? If you guys have known each other for so long, I’m guessing you have a lot of history together.”

A faint smile touched Kakashi’s face beneath his mask, the discrete kind only a trained eye could really detect. “You could say that.”

Rei nodded in agreement. “Yeah, I’d say we’ve been through quite a bit” she added. “Let’s just say we met before you two were even a thought in your parents’ heads.”

“Wow, you guys must be ancient then!” Naruto exclaimed. Sakura glared at him threateningly. The last thing they needed was another fight like in the restaurant. It took all of Sakura and Kakashi’s strength to round up their respective partners and escort them out of the place. People stared, some even made rude remarks. All because Naruto couldn’t keep his big, fat mouth shut and Rei had a short temper. She shot him a harsh look, but restrained herself.

“What I don’t understand is why you never mentioned having a girlfriend in the first place” Sakura said thoughtfully. “It doesn’t seem like the kind of thing someone should hide, you know?”

“Well” Kakashi began, “sometimes things just work better that way. And besides, I never said I wasn’t in a relationship. I just never said I was, either.” The kunoichi thought deeply back to the past few days, replaying every conversation she had with their sensei in her head. He was right. He never did deny having a girlfriend, nor did he admit it, either. Clever move.

“I don’t know, Kakashi-sensei. If I had a girlfriend, I’d want the whole village to know I was taken” Naruto chimed in. “I’d be proud to have someone. Aren’t you proud?”

This was getting into murky territory. Kakashi glanced to Rei, who smirked and shrugged lightly. He considered his answer for a moment before finally saying back, “It’s not that I’m not proud, it’s just that I don’t see any point in telling my private business to everyone. It’s okay to keep some things to yourself.”

“Now that we know” Sakura said, tilting her head so that she could get an even better view of Rei, “why don’t you tell us about yourself? We’d like to know all about you!”

A bead of sweat formed on the jonin’s forehead. She stammered a moment, trying to figure out what to say. She wasn’t exactly the best at this sort of thing. “I mean…I don’t really see any point in telling you what I like or don’t like. Dreams…hobbies…it’s nothing important.”

The two genin had a flashback to their first day with their sensei, his rather terse introduction. _I have no intentions of telling you my likes and dislikes. As for my dream... I have few hobbies._ Damn, maybe they were perfect for each other.

Sakura and Naruto continued to pound Kakashi and Rei with questions about their relationship, their history, their careers, etc. Rei, however, was not the easiest book to crack open. She shared very little information about herself, just as Kakashi did, leaving the young shinobi to feel as if they were speaking in circles. They walked and talked together until the sun began to set, an abrupt reminder to Sakura that she was going to be late for dinner.

 “We better get going, as well” Kakashi replied. Then, turning to Rei, asked, “Would you like me to walk you home?” She nodded briefly before waving goodbye to the others and then the couple went on their way.

They held tense until they were certain Naruto and Sakura were out of sight and out of earshot. They walked in silence all the way to the dormitories where higher level ninja without homes resided. Kakashi guided her upstairs and down the hall, unlocked the door, and then slipped inside after her.

His apartment was neat and organized, mostly decorated with bookshelves stuffed with his favorite titles. As Rei closed the curtains, the small room fell into absolute darkness. Kakashi lit a candle and set it upon his trunk, as if inciting a secret ritual. He locked eyes with Rei as she began to transform.

 “Do you think they bought it?” she asked quietly. She unfastened her jonin vest and tossed it onto the bed.

“I’m sure they did” he replied. Kakashi leaned against the wall with arms crossed, watching her meticulously. She kicked her shoes off haphazardly, then slithered out of her shirt. His heart raced. “I think you played your part rather well. I doubt they suspected a thing.”

“Damn, I hope you’re right” she replied. He studied every detail of her body: her messy hair, the way her bangs covered one eye, the scar across the bridge of her nose, the curve of her breasts, her toned stomach. The hypnotic swirl inked onto her shoulder burned through his memory. She kicked off her pants and slipped into a long sleeved dress she had left behind, perfectly covering the distinctive mark. “I ought to get this uniform back to Naru. She’ll have a fit if I take too long” she then said, gathering up the garments and heading for the front door. Kakashi stepped in front of her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It’s already past six” he said plainly. Rei glanced back at the clock on the shelf. He was right. And here she was thinking that she was making pretty good time. Naru was probably already spreading rumors to the entire unit that her friend had been kidnapped, enslaved, maybe even skewered. She never did think any of this was a good idea.

 “I better hurry up then” Rei replied, looking up to Kakashi. However, the jonin shook his head and gently took the clothes from her. She watched as he tossed them on top of his desk and then scooped her up by the bottom so that she was in his arms and eye level to him. “Kakashi, I need to go…” she whispered, wiggling a bit in his grasp.

Kakashi shook his head and she could tell once more he was smiling that discrete, specific smile underneath his mask. He carried her closer to the bed and whispered back “You’re already late, what’s another couple minutes?”


	3. Competition in Konoha

Konohagakure buzzed with villagers conducting their daily routines. And of course, so many of those villagers were ninja racing to the front gates to set off on a daring mission. Rei peered out the window at them all, the sun glinting off the metal of their bandanas, and sighed. She could feel the pull of her own in the upstairs bedroom begging for her to go out and fight. She desperately wanted to join them but until the hokage called with something for her to do, she was stuck.

“Rei, did you restock the fiction shelves yet?” a voice called from the stairs. The young chunin shook herself from her daze and turned to catch her mother descending into the shop. A stack of books towered over her head, swaying to and fro, threatening to crash down.

“I’m, uh, I’m working on it, mom” Rei muttered. She turned back to the shelves looming down at her and resumed her work. For as long as she could remember, the Kaminoki Bookshop has been her family’s pride and joy. Passed down from generation to generation, every new child was expected to carry on the family legacy. Rei rolled her eyes. That bandana upstairs flashed in her mind once again.

“Let me know if Mr. Tomoya stops in at all—his order is right here on the counter” Rei’s mother, Hana, announced. Rei watched her creep back upstairs before glancing at the books awaiting their most loyal customer. Nobody loved to read more than Mr. Tomoya. Rei envisioned his stout frame and round little glasses swinging their door open and announcing jovially that he was ready to receive his purchases. His appearance certainly fit his reputation. She wondered if he was always this way, or if there was ever a time when he yearned for more. How can anyone possibly live a fulfilling life just reading about things rather than going out and actually doing them?

As she organized the titles in the D-F section, the little bell above the door rang in the quiet air. “Good afternoon, Mr. Tomoya” Rei said, her back still turned. He said nothing back. Rei arched a brow. _Weird. Mr. Tomoya always says hello back_. Sucking in a deep breath, she prepared to inform the man of his orders but as she turned, she discovered it was not Mr. Tomoya who had stepped foot inside. Instead, standing before her was a rather tall young man with wild white hair and his bandana covering his left eye. A mask hid most of the rest of his face. _Kakashi._

“Oh…it’s you” Rei murmured. She couldn’t look at him. Her chest ached and she prayed he would just disappear. “Is there anything I can help you find, sir?”

Kakashi shook his head. “Not particularly. Just looking around” he said.

                He circled the store a few times, slowly. She swore she could feel his eyes burning holes into her back. Even worse, his presence was far too distracting—she could barely focus on her work. She was constantly fearing what may come next, what he might say to her. She didn’t have the strength to hold an actual conversation with him.

                The door swung open once again, the bell chiming to alert Rei of a new guest. “Good afternoon, Rei!” a jolly voice called to her. A wave of relief washed over the young chunin. “Has my order arrived yet?”

                “Oh, yes, it’s right over here” Rei replied, scurrying to the counter. She began ringing up the prices for each book in the stack until reaching a total of 5000 yen. She wondered how Mr. Tomoya could even afford so many books, but it meant good business for her family so she wasn’t about to complain. Their financial situation was already tighter than they’d prefer.

                Just as Mr. Tomoya was fishing out his cash, Kakashi sidled up behind him clutching another book in his hand. Rei eyed him for a moment, her heart nearly leaping out of her chest. It was the same routine every Wednesday: Kakashi enters, Kakashi wanders, Kakashi decides, Kakashi purchases, and then Kakashi leaves. _Damn, you’d think I’d be used to this by now_ , she thought to herself. But no, there was never any getting used to this. Kakashi’s visits felt like stepping into a graveyard.

                “Thank you so much” Mr. Tomoya replied, taking the canvas bag Rei had stuffed all of his books into. “And tell your mother and father I said hello!”

                “Mr. Tomoya, wait! Mom’s just upstairs, I can go get her if you’d like? And then you can say hello in person!” Rei offered desperately. Mr. Tomoya raised his hands in surrender, shaking his head.

                “Oh, no, don’t go to the trouble, it’s perfectly alright. I’ll see her next time I stop in” he replied. He waved goodbye and exited the store, and then that was the end of that. Rei and Kakashi were completely alone.

                Rei cursed Mr. Tomoya for walking out so abruptly, but then scolded herself for ever thinking such vile thoughts to such a dear friend and customer. It wasn’t his fault. He probably had someplace important to be and couldn’t waste time dilly-dallying in the shop. However, that didn’t subdue Rei’s anxiety. She rummaged around on the back counter a bit, trying to organize some of the new releases, before Kakashi cleared his throat to capture her attention.

                “I hope I’m not interrupting anything, but I had a question” he said. _Shit. He has a question_. Rei turned slowly and prompted him to continue. “I’ve already read this book and was wondering when the next installment is due to come out, if it hasn’t already.”

                Rei took the thin little novel from his hands and studied it’s title and author: The Tale of the Utterly Gutsy Shinobi by Jiraiya. The young chunin wrinkled her nose and flipped through the pages. “Uh…you do know this book received really poor reception, don’t you?”

                Kakashi nodded. “I know, but I still enjoyed it and was hoping there would be a sequel.”

                “Well, it looks like you’re shit out of luck. I don’t think Master Jiraiya planned on releasing any more novels under this title considering the awful sales this one received. No one even showed up to his book signing, you know” Rei informed, sliding the book back across the counter. The jonin sighed and tucked the book back under his shoulder, approaching the shelf where he had found it.

                “That’s really a shame” he said, staring quizzically at the shelf. Rei watched him a moment before sighing and walking toward him, taking the book and putting it back herself. She knew if she let Kakashi do it, he’d probably screw up the shop’s meticulous organizational system.

                “Is there anything else I can help you with, sir?” she huffed, locking her eyes on his collar bone. Anything to avoid eye contact. Even then, she could still feel him staring at her in a way that made her outrageously uncomfortable. Almost a sense of longing restrained by fear, regret, pain. It was enough to make her stomach flip.

                After a moment of silence, Kakashi shook his head and took a few steps back. “No, not really” he sighed. She bid him a good day as she walked back to the cart on the other side of the room, listening to his footsteps as he approached the door. The minute he stepped outside, she collapsed against one of the shelves and sucked in a deep breath as if she had been submerged underwater and was finally able to surface.

                “Is restocking shelves exhausting you, Rei?” Hana chuckled, stepping back into the shop. Rei’s face burned bright red as she straightened her back, smoothed down her hair, and pasted an unsuspecting grin upon her lips.

                “Not at all!” she exclaimed. Her mother raised an eyebrow as she dropped off some more new releases. Rei watched her inch back up the stairs and prayed her mother bought her lie.

                A few weeks passed and business at the Kaminoki Bookshop slowed to a crawl. Not even Kakashi or Mr. Tomoya was showing up as regularly as before. Rei leaned against the counter and watched the vacant streets, daydreaming about all the exciting missions she could be taking part in instead. Why hadn’t the hokage called for her yet? Was she a bad ninja? Was she incapable? She didn’t dare humor the thought. No, she had worked far too hard to get here. She shoved the thoughts out of her mind.

                “Still no one?” Hana asked, eyeing the empty store. Rei shook her head. That trademark crease popped up between Mrs. Natsuki’s eyebrows. “Your father isn’t going to be pleased with this” she muttered. “I wonder where everyone has disappeared to? Konoha looks like a ghost town” she then added, peering out the window.

                Rei shrugged. “Maybe there was some sort of cosmic explosion we didn’t know about and we were the lone survivors” she offered with blunt drama. Her mother shot her a glare before shaking her head and wiping her forehead with her apron.

                “That’s not funny, Rei” she replied, exasperated. She slid back behind the counter and patted her daughter’s back kindly. “Go on ahead. No reason for you to stand guard with business this slow.”

                The young chunin blinked a few times, looking at her mother quizzically. “Y-you mean…take the afternoon off?” Hana nodded. “But…but won’t dad get mad?”

                She swatted at the air with a sour expression. “Don’t you worry about him. Would you rather he get upset with you for being idle or for investigating our village’s recent mystery?”

 _I’d rather not get in trouble at all_ , Rei thought but ultimately decided her best bet was exploration. She tossed her apron to the stool behind the counter and embarked into Konoha hungry for discovery. Though dry, she was relieved for the fresh air and empty streets. She could run and prance however she pleased without any crabby citizens shouting at her to knock it off. The ultimate freedom. Or at least, almost. The real freedom lay beyond the village walls, but that was a privilege reserved only for those on assignment. _Shit._

As she wandered around the village, she caught sight of a familiar face exiting her home. “Hey, Naru!” Rei called, running up to her friend. A large grin spread across Naru’s face and Rei’s heart sang. If she had to run into anyone today, she hoped it would be her. “Where is everyone?”

“You didn’t hear?” Naru asked, shocked. She always seemed to have the latest gossip in Konoha, so Rei wasn’t surprised she knew what was going on. If she hadn’t decided to pursue a ninja career like herself, Rei was certain that Naru would make an excellent journalist. Perhaps when she was older, and no longer physically able to pursue shinobi duties. Rei pressed her to continue. “There’s a new bookstore opening down the street. They call it the Pink Bookstore. Everyone has been talking about it.”

The Pink Bookstore? No wonder Kaminoki was so quiet. So far, the Natsuki clan had owned the only bookshop in Konoha since it’s founding. She should’ve known they’d find competition sooner or later, but that didn’t make the news sting any less. Naru reached into the pouch at her hip and pulled out a flyer she had snagged from around the village advertising the grand opening. A scantily dressed woman peered over her glasses, an open book covering her bare breasts as she sat upon a stack of novels.

“What kind of advertisement is that?” Rei exclaimed.

“The kind that gets you business” Naru commented matter-of-factly. “Pink has gotten so much attention in the past week that they have to regulate how many people are in their store at a time. I heard they even had a breach in security the other day—too many people tried to squeeze in at once and they had to call the police to sort everything out.”

 _We’ve never had business like that…_ Rei thought to herself in defeat. If Kaminoki didn’t find a way to get it’s customers back soon, her family would undoubtedly go bankrupt. Then her father would _really_ be upset. What made the Pink Bookstore so great, anyway? Were the people of Konoha really that quick to abandon tradition for some shiny new place?

“I was just about to head over and check it out for myself” Naru continued. “You’re welcome to come with me if you want. Might be good to scope out your competition!” she nudged Rei on the arm. The kunoichi, however, was unamused. This was no laughing matter. Her family’s entire livelihood could be in danger. Like hell she was going to turn down Naru’s offer.

Sure enough, her friend was right. A crowd of anxious villagers piled up outside of the store, hollering and chanting of how desperately they wanted to get inside. Though it was hard to get a good view, from what Rei could tell, all of the titles displayed in the window were of “adult” books, novels that required you be eighteen years or older. She shuddered at the thought.

“Excuse me, sir” Naru said politely, tapping a man on the shoulder. He turned to reveal himself as none other than Mr. Tomoya. “What’s a man like you doing waiting to enter a store like this?”

The stout man blinked a moment before laughing and replying, “Haven’t you heard? This store is doing what no other store in Konoha will do! They’re selling the books us adults want to read. Never have we had such easy access to erotic fiction!”

 _Erotic fiction_. Rei vomited a little in her mouth. So that was this place’s aim then. Her father refused to sell anything inappropriate in their store for fear of abandoning their moral compass. _I want us to be respected in this village_ , he had said. _And you can’t earn respect by selling cheap sex books_. Unfortunately, it seemed the rest of Konoha disagreed. Rei had never seen such a crowd itching to get into a bookstore of all places.

Just then, another man piped up, “I read an excerpt for a new book in the newspaper, Makeout Paradise! The other store won’t sell it, but this place has copies in spades! Everyone wants one!”

Naru spread her arms out as she turned back to her friend as if to say “There you have it!” Rei simply shook her head and rolled her eyes. _What a bunch of pigs._ She had seen just about enough of this. As she turned to head back home, however, she smacked right into a familiar face who didn’t seem to be paying much attention to where he was going.

“Kakashi?” Rei exclaimed. The jonin’s face reddened as he looked up from his book. The cover read _Makeout Paradise._ “You have got to be kidding me” she added, stealing the book from him. She flipped through it in hopes of finding out whether it really lived up to the hype. Before she could get a decent look, Kakashi snatched it from her and wagged his finger in her face.

“What do you think you’re doing? You’re not eighteen” he said. Rei rolled her eyes and glared up at him. Curse him for being so much taller than her. And older.

“What? Am I not allowed to inspect the book that’s going to put my family out of business?” she fired back. “How can you even read that crap?”

Kakashi tilted his head curiously. “What do you mean?”

“It’s just glorified porn—there’s no depth!” she explained.

“It has depth” Kakashi argued.

Rei’s face went deadpan. “I mean meaningful depth, not how far someone can jam their dick up someone’s asshole.”

“Rei!” Naru shrieked, her face turning bright red. For someone who knew all the gossip, she sure had a hard time handling vulgar content.  

“I just have one question for you: where did you get that?” Rei asked, rubbing her temples. She already knew the answer, but she still wanted to hear him say it.

Kakashi paused a moment. He could see the temperature gauge of Rei’s tolerance rising, nearing explosive proportions. Any sane person would know they had to be careful, but Kakashi wasn’t exactly one to pander to other people. A shit-eating grin spread across his masked face as he pointed toward the rousing crowd and replied, “The Pink Bookstore.”

 _Boom._ In one swift motion, Rei stole the book from Kakashi’s hands and did everything in her power to try to destroy it. Ripping it, biting it, stomping on it. The only issue is that she lacked physical strength, especially for a shinobi. Everything she tried failed. She couldn’t destroy the book. Finally, she resorted to just throwing it down on the ground with a shriek and stomping off back home. She didn’t care if people stared. She didn’t care what Kakashi thought. He had betrayed her. And The Pink Bookstore was certainly going to run Kaminoki into the ground.

Another few weeks passed with very little business. Rei swept the floors thrice over just so she had something to do. When her father found out she had not only left her post but discovered the source of their decreased business, he definitely got upset with her. Not enough to hit her, of course—he wasn’t at all a physically violent man—but enough to grow frustrated with the village’s “lack of morality”, as he put it. Essentially, he reacted just as Rei expected him to.

As she swept, a little chime captured her attention. It sounded like…no, it couldn’t be. They hadn’t had a customer in weeks. There was no reason for them to have customers anymore. She went about her business, ignoring what she swore sounded like the clearing of a throat, until a gentle finger poked her shoulder. The circumstance was then completely unavoidable. This was no illusion: they finally had a customer.

Rei looked up to find Mr. Tomoya’s chubby cheeked face smiling down at her, a hunger for knowledge in his eyes. “M-Mr. Tomoya, how wonderful to see you!” Rei exclaimed. She leaned her broom against the wall and darted behind the counter. “What can I help you with today?”

“I’m looking for this particular book, on the machinations of the cogs inside of a clock” Mr. Tomoya explained. “You see, my alarm clock has broken and I decided I’d like to learn how to fix it myself! I can’t afford to be late to work again.”

A sweet, innocent grin spread across Rei’s face. _He just wants to fix his clock_. “I’d be more than happy to help you find what you’re looking for” she replied, guiding him towards the instructional texts. As she helped Mr. Tomoya search for just the right manual, she could’ve swore she saw a familiar face through the window out of the corner of her eye. Tall, white hair, mask. When she turned to peek, however, there was no one there. Perhaps she was just imagining things. No matter. All she cared about right now was what she wasn’t imagining and that was Mr. Tomoya standing before her asking for her help. Finally, Kaminoki was receiving the love it deserved. And sure, maybe the Pink Bookstore was more popular than they were. The old adage definitely seemed to ring true—that “sex sells.” But sex isn’t everything. Perhaps there was hope for Konoha after all. Perhaps there was hope for Kaminoki. So long as people like Mr. Tomoya had things they wanted to learn and belongings they wanted to fix, she was now sure that her family’s company would undoubtedly live on.


	4. Little Bell

                Bright lights flickered across the room as the sky roared with the threat of rainfall. Kakashi only glanced up from his book for a moment, an involuntary response to the flashes gracing the sky. A storm was certainly inching closer from the west. He thought about the chidori, and those days training Sasuke to use it correctly. His heart hurt for Sasuke. Naruto was so desperate to find him, but the Uchiha kid was likely far gone by now. _I shouldn’t have been so naïve_ , Kakashi thought. _I should’ve known better._

                A stirring against his chest brought him back to center. He peered over his book to the kunoichi at his side, her head resting on his shoulder. She was completely passed out, her own book laying open against her chest. A soft smile touched Kakashi’s lips. There was something so pure and vulnerable about when Rei was fast asleep. Hell, she was fast asleep when he first met her. He brushed the hair out of her face, revealing the one eye always covered by her bangs, and fell back into reminiscing of those halcyon days of their youth.

                The sun shone brightly as a young Kakashi splashed in the shallows of the lake, laughing wildly. His mother watched from the bank, smiling at her beloved son. At nearly three years old, he hadn’t a care in the world. A window swung open and Sakumo popped his head out into the fresh air. “Aijo, Kakashi! Come in for a moment!” he called. “I have someone I’d like you both to meet!”

                Kakashi furrowed his brows at the interruption. He was having such a good time, he didn’t want it to end. When Aijo scooped him up into her arms, however, he melted and couldn’t help but comply. She carried her son into their little home where a vaguely familiar couple stood protecting something precious.

                Sakumo smiled at his son, speaking in soft tones. “Kakashi, you remember Hana and Yuruganai, right?” he asked. Kakashi couldn’t quite say that he did. Their faces were familiar but left too little an impact for him to really care. “Last time you met them, Hana was expecting” Sakumo went on. It was then that Kakashi began to remember. It was only months earlier, a slender hand rested upon a bulging belly. _Hana and Yuruganai are going to have a baby_ , his father had said. Kakashi had raised a brow as he stared back at the woman. He was an intuitive child, but this was something he didn’t quite understand nor did he really care to. Now, however, his interest was piqued.

                “The baby was inside of Hana’s tummy, Kakashi” Aijo elaborated, “But now she’s been born and we’d like you to meet her.”

                Hana smiled softly at the young boy, tilting the little bundle to reveal the crinkled face of a newborn. Kakashi peered at her curiously, eyes widening. She was so tiny and squishy with a thin layer of reddish hair and dark, squinty eyes.

                “What is she called?” he asked, meeting Hana’s eyes.

                She stroked her baby’s cheek as she affectionately answered “Her name is Rei.”

                _Rei._ Kakashi liked that name. It had a nice ring to it. “What’s it mean?” he asked.

                “It means ‘little bell’” said Yuruganai. Kakashi nodded in wonderment and understanding. Somehow, it fit her. He didn’t know how, but it did. The longer he looked at her, the more he wondered about what kind of person she would become and how fast she would grow. She was so small and fragile, he could barely believe it. Something warm and kind tinged inside of his chest for a moment, a brave idea filling his head and tugging the corner of his mouth upward. He motioned for his mother to come nearer before whispering in her ear. As he spoke to her, a sweet smile touched her lips and she kissed her son’s forehead.

                “I think that’s a wonderful idea” Aijo replied softly.

                “What was that, son?” Sakumo asked. Aijo encouraged the young boy to repeat what he had said for everyone to else hear.

                “I said that from this point forward I want to be Rei’s ninja. I want to protect her and make sure nobody tries to hurt her” he said quietly. Hana blushed, honored.

                “Why thank you, Kakashi. That means so much” she said, kissing him on the forehead as a sign of thanks. Kakashi’s face burned red and he averted his eyes. He didn’t quite understand why, but he just felt so compelled to ensure this little baby was kept safe. Anyone could easily hurt her if they really wanted to. He didn’t want to give anyone that chance.

                Kakashi was brilliant, a true prodigy. All of his teachers at the academy enthused of how great a shinobi he would someday be, how he was sure to follow in his father’s footsteps, leaving a stamp of pride upon the young boy. Some of his classmates scoffed, some challenged him, others watched with wild fanfare. He would trudge home from a long day at the academy, their comments swirling in his head. No matter what may have happened during the day, however, there was always one constant in his life and that was the little girl waiting for him to come home.

                “What did you learn today, ‘Kashi?” she’d ask, waving at him widely and swinging her legs from the front porch of her home. The Natsuki family lived right next door.

                Kakashi would settle in beside her, feeling her little hand rest on top of his. “Today we took the bell test” he replied, “in order to become genin.”

                Rei’s jade eyes sparkled. “What did you have to do?” she asked. She wanted to know everything. After all, if she was going to become a big, strong ninja like Kakashi someday, she needed to prepare. Kakashi stood and motioned for her to follow suit.

                “Alright, you be the sensei. Pretend you have two bells at your waist” he instructed. Rei straightened her back and nodded definitively. “Your goal is to make sure I don’t capture the bells. Understand?” Again, Rei nodded. In a flash, Kakashi disappeared and began zipping around the yard pretending to try and capture these imaginary bells. Obviously, he was going easy on her. Rei shrieked with laughter as she ducked, jumped, and did everything else in her power to avoid being captured. A sly smirk touched Kakashi’s lips as he dove from behind and wrapped his arms around Rei. “I win” he announced.

                Rei’s eyes widened as she tilted her head back to peer at her friend. “I thought you were supposed to catch the bells, not me!” she exclaimed. She wiggled in his grasp.

                Kakashi chuckled and shook his head. “You are the only little bell I want to catch” he said bluntly. Rei’s cheeks burned bright red as Kakashi released her from his embrace.

                “What’s that supposed to mean?” she asked curiously, wrinkling her nose. She didn’t know if she should be afraid or excited, and yet somehow she felt as if she was both.

                “Your name. It means ‘little bell.’” Kakashi explained.

                “Why’d you want to catch me instead, though?” Rei asked. That wasn’t part of the plan, and she thought Kakashi was the kind of kid who followed the rules, anyway.

                “Because” Kakashi said. He wasn’t looking at her. She thought that was strange. “I think you’re my aisuruhito.”

                _Aisuruhito_? She didn’t understand. Before she could say anything more, however, the front door swung open and her mother peered out calling her for dinner. A sense of disgusting relief washed over her, her twisted stomach calming, as if she didn’t even want an explanation from him. She bid him a quick goodbye and ran off, feeling his eyes on her as she departed. 

                She was always there for him, his little cheerleader. When he graduated from the academy, she made him a congratulatory card complete with stick figure drawings of the two of them. She would always beg to watch him train so that she could learn all she could from him. Her desperation to become a ninja was admirable, though it was clear that opinion was not held by all.

                Rei came running to him one day, tears streaming down her face. Kakashi immediately stood up and clenched his fists at his sides. “Rei, what’s the matter? What’s happened? Who hurt you?” he asked. She barreled straight into him, burying her face in his chest and wailing incessantly.

                “M-mother and f-father…they said…they said I’ll never b-be a ninja!” she cried. “They told me…that…that being a ninja w-was bad and that…that they’d k-kick me out if I j-joined the academy.”

                Kakashi sighed and wrapped his arms around her, eyes skating to her home next door. “What about Grandma Teiko?” he asked.

                Rei wiped her nose on the back of her hand. “G-Grandma Teiko is the only one who b-believes in me. Sh-she said my parents n-need to shut their traps and l-let me go after m-my dream.” A small, sad smile touched her lips. Dear, sweet Grandma Teiko.

                The young chunin leaned back so that he could look Rei in the eyes. “Grandma Teiko isn’t the only who believes in you” he then said. Rei blinked a few times, staring at him incredulously. “I believe in you, too. You should prove your parents wrong. Show them that you can be the best ninja there ever was.” The little girl’s face lit up at the prospect, hugging Kakashi tightly and thanking him for caring for her so. Not that it was any problem. After all, it was his job, wasn’t it? To protect her? Even if that meant from her own parents.

                A fire burned in the back of Kakashi’s throat as he thought of how quickly their childhood innocence faded. He thought of his father, finding him dead no more than a week later. He thought of Hana and Yuruganai, their response to such tragedy. Of his mother, of Obito and Rin. He thought of the day Rei’s spirit shattered.

                “Kakashi! Kakashi!” she shouted, darting toward him at full speed. Her face was dewy and flushed but she still had a grin pasted upon her lips. She had grown into a long-legged, gangly child with crooked teeth and wild hair. Kakashi looked up from his training, watching her approach. “I did it! I made it to genin!”

                “Oh?” Kakashi asked. Genin at ten. Not too bad. Still not as good as him, but not bad. Earlier than most average shinobi, at least.

                Rei nodded excitedly. “Yeah! So now I’m a cool ninja just like you!” she enthused.

                Something inside Kakashi shifted. He turned his eyes back to his kunai, a blank expression upon his face. A flock of birds flew overhead. “Rei, don’t get upset, but you don’t want to be a ninja.”

                The young girl scoffed, crossing her arms. “What are you talking about? Of course I do. I’m going to learn all the tricks and then you and I can fight together. It’ll be the best!”

                “No, Rei” Kakashi shook his head. He focused his eyes on the target ahead. “You’re tiny. Weak. You’ll never make it. You’ll get crushed out there in an instant.” In one swift motion, he launched his kunai, the blade flying through the air before hitting the bullseye.

                Gasping, Rei furrowed her brows and shook her head. “That’s not true! I’m strong! See?” she claimed. She ran to a nearby log and struggled to lift it over her head to prove her point.

                “That looks a lot like the opposite of strength” Kakashi commented, barely even looking at her. He seemed to do a lot of that these days, not looking at her.

                Rei huffed, clearly weaker than she had hoped to appear, before racing back to Kakashi and grabbing him by the arm. “Kakashi, why are you being so mean to me? I thought you believed in me!” she begged. He shook her off him and approached the target to collect his knife. Tears began to build up in her eyes but she refused to let herself cry. “I thought you would be proud of me, Kakashi! I worked so hard!”

                The young jonin plucked his knife from the wooden stump and shook his head. “Well, you’re going to have to work a lot harder if you want to make it as a shinobi. I’m just not convinced you have what it takes.”

                If Rei hadn’t known any better, she would’ve thought she was the subject of target practice and that kunai was stabbing her in the heart. Her chest ached, her throat tightened, and she could hardly hold back her tears any longer. “No! Y-you’re wrong! I will make it as a shinobi! I’ll be the best shinobi this village ever saw! I’ll show you! I’ll show everyone! I do have what it takes!”

                As Rei screamed, Kakashi bowed his head and began walking away. He couldn’t argue with her on this. She needed to quit whether she liked it or not. The face of a dear friend flashed in the back of his mind, wide eyes and lifeless features gasping for breath, gasping his name. He couldn’t handle it.

                “Don’t you walk away from me, Kakashi! _Kakashi!”_ she wailed, clenching her fists at her sides. “How can you do this to me?! How can you betray me like this?!” She could hardly breathe, her chest ripping in half as she watched his figure shrink. She wanted to run after him but didn’t have the strength, instead falling to her knees hard into the dirt. “ _Kakashi!_ ”

                He refused to look back. He refused to apologize. He narrowed his eyes as he walked ahead, swallowing back the lump in his throat. Tears threatened to spill down his own cheeks but he would not fall prey to such idiocy. Real shinobi don’t cry.

                A soft whimper and a stirring against his chest pulled Kakashi back to the present. He looked down at the young woman by his side, the tattoo on her shoulder and the mask on her desk. She had come so far. She had grown so much and yet he wasn’t there for any of it. She furrowed her brows then squinted up at him curiously, noticing a darkness in his eyes that sent a surge of adrenaline through her veins.

                “What is it? What’s wrong?” she croaked, forcing herself upright. She yawned and rubbed her eyes one after the other as to never breaking eye contact with him. He stared at her for a moment before all the darkness began seeping out of him, making way for goodness and light.

                Kakashi shook his head, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Nothing” he replied. “Everything’s alright. I was just thinking.”

                Rei raised a brow. “Oh? What about?”

                He could’ve told her everything. He could’ve given her a long-winded explanation of all the painful memories he had revisited. Instead, he leaned his head back against the couch and replied tranquilly “About how much I love you.”

                The kunoichi immediately froze, her body tensing. Her lungs deflated as if she had just gotten kicked in the back. “W-what did you say…?” she murmured.

                Kakashi blinked, sat up, and shifted to better face her. He hadn’t necessarily planned to say what he did, the words spilling out on their own accord, but now that he had, he didn’t regret it. Smiling, he repeated, “I love you.”

                Rei’s heart fluttered, tears brimming. This was the first time Kakashi had ever said anything of the sort to her. To think, after so many years, Kakashi Hatake loved her. Without a moment’s hesitation, Rei leapt forward to wrap her arms around him tightly, burying her face in the crook of his neck. Nothing felt real, and yet somehow at the same time everything felt more real now than ever before. “I love you, too” she whispered back. “I always have.”  


	5. The Hottest Summer

With a groan, Rei rolled over and kicked all of her blankets off the bed. Her cheek stuck to the pillow, drenched in sweat, and the air was heavy with the smell of must and sunshine. How late had she slept today? Konoha had to have landed on the surface of the sun while she was passed out. There was no way it was really this hot.

A knock at the door forced her to stand, much to her dismay. She stepped into a pair of dirty pants lying haphazard on the floor and opened the door to find none other than Kakashi greeting her. “Morning, sunshine” he said with a smile, stepping inside.

Rei sighed. If she knew it was her boyfriend calling for her, she wouldn’t have tried to make herself presentable. Kakashi didn’t seem to care if she looked like a train-wreck, fortunately enough. She slicked her bangs back out of her face and wiped the sweat from her forehead. “Is it just me, or is it outrageously hot today?” she asked. Kakashi slowly peeled the curtains back to reveal blinding sunlight, shocking Rei whose eyes had not yet adjusted to the day. He gazed down at the village streets, their detail contorting with the illusion of heat. Very few people were outside.

“No, it’s not just you” Kakashi replied. “This is the hottest it’s been in the Leaf Village since the second hokage. We haven’t had a summer like this in quite some time.”

The kunoichi groaned and slammed her forehead against the wall. She squinted at him with one eye closed, obviously burdened. “Isn’t there some way to, I don’t know, turn it off?” 

Kakashi chuckled, turning back to her. “Unfortunately, you can’t ask the sun to tone it down, so we’ll just have to make do.” Again, Rei groaned. This was disastrous. She would be dead from heat stroke by the end of the day. She kicked her pants off and sprawled out on the floor, hoping that wearing as little as possible and moving as little as possible would help her preserve some sense of cool. Her boyfriend cocked a brow as he watched her, stifling a laugh. She was ridiculous, but he loved it.

As she lay there, a sudden realization struck her. “Hey, wait a minute, how are you not hot?” she asked, picking her head up. He was in his usual jonin uniform, nearly his entire body covered save for one eye and maybe his wrists. He had to have been melting, especially with that mask.

Kakashi shrugged. “I guess I’m just used to it” he said, but after a few more moments Rei noticed the beads of sweat forming on his brow. He inhaled deeply before adding in defeat, “But even then, this is a little intense.”

“That’s what I thought” Rei smirked. She knew him far too well. “So, what are we supposed to do about this? Just sit around and freaking melt?” 

Kakashi seated himself on the edge of her bed, shaking his head. “There are plenty of ways for us to keep cool. I’m sure you could get popsicles somewhere in the village. Or maybe take a dip in the lake?”

Rei sighed and covered her face. “Swimming sounds so nice right now but I don’t think I can.”

“Oh?” Kakashi asked. “Why not?” His mind instinctively jumped to womanly issues, what he’s learned is the usual answer to these sorts of things. However, Rei pulled back her sleeve instead to flash the ANBU tattoo on her shoulder.

“If I go out in a bathing suit, there’s no hiding this. I can’t compromise my identity like that” she replied. Kakashi nodded in understanding. That was the one bad thing about having to remain anonymous: when it came to summer, it was sleeves or sacrifice. Or at least when she wasn’t working.

Kakashi watched her rub her eyes and huff her bangs out of her face before standing and offering a hand to help her up. “That tattoo isn’t the end of the world, you know. There are definitely ways we can work around it.” Rei eyed him suspiciously as she took his hand and hoisted herself up.

“What are you getting at here?” she asked. He tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear and smiled softly.

“Well, we can find someplace private to go swimming where hardly anyone will bother us, or there’s always the option of wrapping your arm” he offered. Rei considered these suggestions for a moment. The bandage idea would certainly suffice so long as they were waterproof. Sure, people would think she has injured but would she rather have that or blow her cover as a member of the black ops? She’d take her chances with the suspected injuries.

Rei sat on beside her boyfriend as he began to thoroughly wrap a white bandage around her arm. The more he layered it, the less the tattoo was visible through the thin fabric until there was no trace of it whatsoever. He tied off the wrapping and inspected his work for a moment before asking her opinion. “I think it looks like I have a serious injury, but the tattoo is covered and that’s all that matters” she replied, kissing his cheek as a thank you. They slipped into something far more economical, something they could stand to swim in, before interlocking hands and embarking together into the village.

The minute they stepped outside, a wave of unbearable heat smacked them both. Rei squinted and fanned herself, shaking her head, “This is outrageous” she sighed. Kakashi nodded, resting a hand on the small of her back. As they walked together, they passed by the sweet shop where a line of people half a mile long stretched. A sign outside read “Two For One Popsicles.”

 “Well, that’s one way to get business” Rei commented. Kakashi looked to her a moment, motioning as if to silently ask her if she wanted to join the craze, but the kunoichi shook her head. As refreshing as they would be, they weren’t worth waiting in a line like that. And besides, if she was really craving them, she could just as easily make some herself.

Before they could walk away, a familiar voice suddenly called to them from the crowd. “Hey, Kakashi-sensei!” Turning around, they were met with none other than Naruto, Sakura, Hinata, Kiba, and Choji. _Shit_. Rei glanced to her boyfriend desperately, unsure of what to do, but he was already walking toward the young ninja. There was no way out of it—she’d have to socialize. It wasn’t that she disliked Kakashi’s students and their friends—she was really rather fond of them, and she saw a lot of promise in Konoha’s young protegees. She was sure they would all grow up to be wonderful shinobi someday but as it currently stood, they were just kids and kids quite frankly terrified her. They had no filter, they asked far too many questions, and some of them had no idea how to respect personal space.

The pair approached, and the three unfamiliar genin looked to one another curiously. “Who is that girl with Kakashi-sensei?” Hinata asked quietly, tenting her index fingers.

“That’s his girlfriend he told nobody about” Sakura replied. The three genin’s mouths dropped, shocked. Since when did Kakashi have a girlfriend, let alone a personal life? They watched with wide, unsure eyes as the jonin and his mysterious lover approached.

“Hey, how’s it going?” Kakashi greeted. “What are you five up to today?” His hand was loosely intertwined with that of the redhead, who looked nervous and uncomfortable. Her eyes jumped from each of the genins’ faces, studying their features quickly. She knew of their clans instantly: the Hyuga girl with the whiteout eyes, the Akimichi kid with a bag of potato chips even as he waited in line for food, and the Inuzuka boy with the small dog nestled in his jacket. Truthfully, the dog was the only one she was remotely comfortable with. People were terrifying, but dogs? Perfect. Dogs were so much easier to win the approval of, and this one seemed immediately pleased with Rei. Akamaru sniffed her extended hand and barked happily, panting and shaking his head so that his ears flopped from one side to the other.

“That’s weird—Akamaru never takes to strangers that easily” Kiba muttered. He wasn’t sure he trusted this girl. He hadn’t ever remembered seeing her in the village before, but now here she was and dating Kakashi? This was just too weird. There had to be something amiss here.

Rei swatted at the air dismissively. “Pfft, he probably just smells Pakkun on me or something” she replied. Kiba eyed her curiously, not completely buying her excuse.

 “Oh, that’s right” Kakashi suddenly said, “You three don’t know Rei.” The unfamiliar genin shook their heads.

“Sakura said that Rei is your…your girlfriend, right?” Hinata asked softly. Kakashi nodded, blushing lightly. The hint of a smile touched his face, something about his expression telling Rei he may have been a little nervous about this himself. _Nice to see we stand in emotional solidarity, at least_.

“Since when are you in a relationship, anyway?” Choji asked, chomping on his chips.

“Well, actually, Rei and I have been together for quite some time” Kakashi replied.

“Yeah, don’t expect him to explain how long that is” Naruto commented, his hands behind his head. “Sakura and I already tried to weed it out of him, but it didn’t work.”

“So are you a ninja, too?” Hinata asked, diverting the conversation. Rei nodded.

“If you’re a Leaf Village kunoichi, I wonder why we’ve never seen you around” Kiba added. The others nodded in agreement. It was obvious Konoha was crawling with countless ninja, but even then, it was easy to recognize the same faces here and there.

Rei crossed her arms and huffed her bangs out of her face. “Well, I tend to keep to myself” she replied. It wasn’t a total lie, at least. Naruto squinted up at her. Kakashi could tell where this was going and, for the sake of avoiding an interrogation, swooped in to save his girlfriend.

“We better be going now, wouldn’t want to bore you all” he said.

“Where are you guys going, anyway?” Sakura asked with genuine curiosity.

“Just heading off to the lake to cool down. Nothing too exciting” Kakashi replied.

“Wait a minute, why don’t we go with you?” Naruto offered. “Beats standing out here in the heat!” Akamaru barked in agreement.

“Yeah, plus that way Akamaru can stay cool, too” Kiba added. Sweet shops weren’t exactly the most accommodating to pups, and the young shinobi was certain his companion was getting thirsty.

Rei’s eyes widened at the idea, glancing to Kakashi nervously. She silently begged him not to let them tag along, praying he understood. The jonin smiled back at her, a promise that he had things under control, then replied to the kids, “Well, I don’t see why not!”

Rei’s face fell. “Uh, Kakashi, are you sure that’s a good idea?” she said through gritted teeth, eyeing the young ninja suspiciously. The others rejoiced in excitement before he could respond.

“Alright!” Naruto shouted, lifting a fist in the air. “Let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

“Naruto, you idiot” Sakura groaned, whacking him on the arm.

“Hey, wait a minute, but what about the popsicles?” Choji called after them.

Rei stood tense the entire walk to the lake, the tattoo on her shoulder burning. Things would’ve been so much easier if it was just the two of them, but now she had to worry about keeping secrets from kids who would undoubtedly want answers. She could feel their eyes on her, suspicious and perhaps even a little judgmental.

The lake was a welcome relief to those sweltering in the heat. Fortunately, Shizukana Lake was a place of great solace and privacy, the likes of which many in the heart of the village were scarcely familiar with. Two houses, one abandoned and the other scorched, blocked it from view. Naruto stripped out of his jumpsuit and leapt straight in, basking in the cool water. The girls following close behind, leaving their jackets and shorts on the bank and wading slowly in. Akamaru barked gleefully as he splashed and pounced.

Sucking in a deep breath, Rei slowly removed her hoodie to reveal the thick bandage wrapped around her upper arm. She eyed Kakashi, unbuttoning his shirt for him as she whispered through gritted teeth, “This is going to be a disaster.”

“Oh, come on, they’re not that bad” Kakashi replied back. She wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, she really did, but it was hard to feel confident when at any moment they could swoop in and attack her with a million questions. She had kept her life private for a reason.

“Kakashi-sensei, what’s taking you so long?” Naruto called, waving from the center of the lake.

“Just a second” he replied. Then, turning back to his girlfriend, bid her a reassuring smile and kissed her on the forehead through his mask. “Everything will be fine.” She sighed as she watched him depart, following shortly after. She crept into the water slowly, cautiously, sighing with relief at the refreshing cool.

“So, Rei, you’re a jonin, right?” Kiba asked. The redhead nodded.

“So I guess you’re friends with the other jonin in the village, too, huh?” Choji asked.

“Yeah, of course” she replied. “Even your senseis. We all go way back.”

“Not that she’ll explain how far ‘way back’ is” Naruto muttered, sinking below the surface of the water like a crocodile. Sakura shot him a glare.

“That’s cool you guys have all known each other for so long” she commented. “So when did you become a jonin?”

“Jeez, feels like ages ago” Rei said. Then, counting on her fingers, replied, “It’s gotta be, what? Almost ten years now?”

“That’s a long time to be a high-ranking ninja in this village” Kiba said, then adding quietly, “Almost a little too long for someone we’ve never seen around town.”

“You must have gone on tons of crazy missions by now” Choji said

“I guess you could say I’ve had my fair share of adventure” Rei commented.

“What kinds of missions have you been on?” Hinata asked.

As Rei slipped into a bullshit story about saving a rat from causing a war, Naruto furrowed his brows. He was still stuck thinking about her previous comment. She had been a jonin for ten years. Then how ol was she? At this rate, she had to have become a ninja when she was a baby. She was still barely taller than himself.

“Have you ever gone on any missions with Kakashi-sensei?” Sakura asked.

A soft smile touched Kakashi’s face. “We’ve been grouped together a few times” he replied.

Rei nodded, running a hand through her hair. “Yeah, but it’s been a while. I don’t really think the hokage sees us as equals anymore.”

“What do you mean? If you’re both the same rank, I don’t see why she should consider one of you better than the other” Sakura said. Her heart ached for a moment. She knew what it was like to feel as if you weren’t good enough, and so in that, she suspected a hint of humanity finally transpire in terms of Rei’s history.

“I’m sure you’ll all find out soon enough that there are certain ninja who are just better suited for certain things” Kakashi explained. “Rei has a very specific skill set that the hokage does not want to put to waste.” The others nodded slowly, trying to figure out what, exactly, that even meant.

“So that injury on your am—is that from a recent mission?” Kiba asked. And there it was. Someone finally addressed the elephant in the room. A shiver ran down Rei’s spine, and she was suddenly very aware of the ink embedded into her skin. The bandage on her arm felt too tight and suddenly the water was slightly too cold but the sun was far too hot on her face and she was beginning to lose it.

“Uh, yeah. Got into a bit of an altercation and didn’t make it out totally unscathed” she said flippantly. Kiba cocked a brow, watching her body language closely.

“It looks like your bandage is starting to fall apart—let me fix it up for you” Sakura offered. Rei’s heart leapt into her throat, looking down at the wrapping. It had since gotten waterlogged and was on the verge of slipping off her arm completely. The hint of a tattoo poked out from behind the fabric. Rei’s eyes widened, clapping her hand over her forearm.

“Uh, actually, that’s alright, I can take care of it myself, thanks” Rei replied, wading toward the shore. As she climbed back onto the grass, however, the bandage fell off completely revealing the mark on her arm. Before anyone could register what it was, she quickly covered it back up with a sheepish grin. They all stared back at her with confused, suspicious glares.

“Uh, Rei…what the hell is that?” Naruto asked, squinting at her.

“What is what?” she asked, then narrowed her eyes and used her current stance as ammo. “Hey, if you’re checking out my ass, then back the hell off, kid!”

“Hey, what do you take me for? Pervy sage?” Naruto shouted back. “I mean your arm! What’s going on here? What are you trying to hide?”

Kakashi blinked a few times, beginning to sense disaster on the horizon. He glanced to his girlfriend, her face reddening. “Alright, let’s all just try to settle down” he offered, but Naruto and Rei ceased to break eye contact. The young jinchuriki watched her like a bug on a microscope slide.

“Hey, what do you mean ‘trying to hide’?” Rei shouted back, completely ignoring her boyfriend’s interruption. “Who said I was hiding anything?” Kakashi gently rested his hands on her shoulders to try and calm her down.

“Then let’s see what’s on your arm!” Naruto shouted.

“Ugh, no!” Rei countered.

“See, that’s exactly what I’m talking about!” Naruto replied.

“Listen” Kakashi stepped in, “I don’t think it’s any of you guys’ business to go poking around other people’s personal lives.”

Kiba groaned, replying “All we’re saying is that there’s something sketchy going on here. How are we supposed to know whether we should really trust this chick or not? I mean, don’t you find it a little weird you’ve been keeping your girlfriend a secret all this time?”

“Yeah!” Sakura exclaimed. “How do we know you didn’t just hire her to get Naruto and I off your butt when we tried to set you up?”

“Whoa, wait a second, what do you think I am?” Rei asked, insulted. “Some sort of call girl? Because I have way more dignity than that!”

“Well how are we supposed to know?” Naruto replied. “Hell, for all we know, that thing on your arm could be a curse mark and you could be one of Orochimaru’s puppets!”

Rei’s face turned bright red, her eyes narrowing. She opened her mouth to speak but Kakashi swooped in and cupped his hand over her lips before she could utter a word. “Alright, let’s all just try to calm down. No use flinging accusations at one another” he said calmly. Rei squirmed in his grip, mumbling something inaudible against the palm of his hand.

“I hate to say it, but Naruto brings up a good point. How do we know that’s not a curse mark from Orochimaru?” Sakura added.

Kakashi’s face went deadpan. “Sakura, Naruto. Think about what you’re both saying for a second. Do you really think I would be hanging around with the likes of the Hidden Sound Village?”

They had to admit, it did seem like a stretch, but then again what did they know? It wasn’t like Kakashi ever told them much about his life outside of his work. Eventually, Rei broke free of his grip with a groan and shook her head. “I think I’ve had about enough of this” she sighed. “I’m going to go dry off. This lake sucks, anyways.”

Naruto started after her, frustrated. “Hey, wait a second, you get back here! You can’t just walk away from this without giving us any answers! What kind of sick joke is this, anyways? Who even are you?” he shouted accusatorily. Then, turning to Kakashi, he swung his arm out to motion to Rei and repeated, “Who even is she?”

“I’ve gotta agree with Naruto here, I think we have a right to know” Kiba added. Sakura sucked in a deep breath and nodded.

By now, Kakashi had buried his face in his hands, his heart racing. Everything was falling apart. He glanced back to Rei, a towel wrapped around her shoulders and her eyes wandering elsewhere in hopes of finding a distraction. “Alright” he sighed. “I suppose we can’t hide it any longer.” He motioned for Rei to come closer, but she shook her head. His eyes darted to the kids, and then back, gazing at her demandingly. Finally, she sighed and trudged closer.

“What?” she asked.

“I doubt they’re going to leave us alone about this so we might as well just tell them the truth” Kakashi replied.

Rei’s eyes immediately widened. She could smack him. She could smack him right into the next century. How dare he betray her like this? He knew more than anyone the importance of keeping one’s identity safe in a career like this. How could he possibly stand to throw all of that away? She shook her head in horror, about to walk away, but he grabbed her wrist and gently tugged her closer with a look that begged her to trust him.

“Kakashi-sensei, what’s going on?” Sakura asked. The tone of his voice had grown so serious, and the kunoichi began to fear what he might say next. This was really all Naruto’s fault. If he hadn’t been so hellbent on finding out the truth, none of this would’ve happened and they never would’ve upset their teacher. She had to admit, she, too, was curious about who, exactly, Rei was but now she wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.

“I want all of you to listen up because I’m not going to say this twice” Kakashi began. “I think you’ve waited long enough for the truth. Rei and I met long ago, when we were just kids, and have known one another ever since. Over time, we grew distant but were reunited because of that mark on her arm. The truth is that while Rei is incredibly talented, she is not invincible. That thing on her arm is, in fact, a type of curse mark but not one put there by Orochimaru. This actually might be far worse.”

By now, all the other ninja were leaning forward in intrigue. Rei’s eyes darted from her boyfriend to each of the children, trying to figure out where Kakashi was going with this. He paused for dramatic effect before continuing, “It was on this night that Rei did something unthinkable. Something wild and permanent. I don’t blame her for it, though. It wasn’t really her fault. She was under a particular jutsu you might all be familiar with, and woke up the next morning unable to remember anything with just that mark as evidence of what she had done.”

“What jutsu was it?” Kiba asked.

“What had she done?” Hinata inquired.

“Rei had gotten…” Kakashi began, “A drunk tattoo.”

The kid’s eyes had widened, Hinata even nearly passing out not from shock but just the build-up of the moment. Naruto looked from his sensei to the redhead who smiled awkwardly and shrugged as if to say that her boyfriend was right. If anything, however, she was shocked Kakashi had even fabricated such a decent lie in a short span of time. From the looks of it, the kids bought it more than anything she had come up with—especially that damn rat mission story.

“Is that true, Rei…?” Sakura asked. “Do you have a…a drunk tattoo?”

Rei nodded slowly. “Uh, yeah…you got me. I have an embarrassing drunk tattoo. I didn’t want anyone to see it because…” Here, she floundered. Why didn’t she want anyone to see it again? What was it even of? She had no idea. Her mind was drawing blanks.

“Because it’s inappropriate” Kakashi stepped in.

“What kind of inappropriate?” Kiba asked.

The jonin cleared his throat and replied, “Makeout Paradise inappropriate.”

“Oh, come on!” Naruto shouted. “Not you, too!”

Rei’s face burned bright red. _Of course_ Kakashi would go that route. Of course he would insinuate she had some sort of sexy tattoo. However, she didn’t really have much room to complain. It covered all the bases: explaining why she was hiding it, and why they weren’t allowed to see it.

“H-hey, I’m not proud of this!” she shouted back. “Do you think I wanna tote this thing around on my arm for the rest of my life?”

“Why did you do it?” Sakura asked.

“I was drunk! I didn’t know what I was doing” Rei replied. “That is a valuable life lesson, kids: don’t make any major life decisions while under the influence.” Naruto groaned and sank under the surface of the water, dejected. Sakura shook her head in disappointment. At least their sensei had found a girl with similar interests. And most importantly, at least they all now had some closure as to what was going on with this strange and secretive girl.

The sun began to set in Konoha and with that, everyone packed up their things and headed home. Rei could barely say a word the entire trip back to the apartment complex. As they crept up the stairs and slipped into Kakashi’s apartment, he looked at her with great concern. “Are you alright? You’ve been pretty quiet.”

 “Yeah, don’t worry about me, I’m fine” she replied, sinking onto the bed. She slowly removed her jacket and stared down at the swirled marking on her arm.

“You know you’re the worst liar on the planet” Kakashi said, sitting next to her. “If this is about what the five of them said earlier, don’t let it bother you. They don’t know anything about you, or us, so whatever they said means nothing.”

Rei sighed and shook her head. “It’s not really that, though” she said. “I mean, yeah, okay, it sucked being accused of some of the stupidest shit I have ever heard in my entire life, but I’ve been dealt much worse. It’s just…they’re not the only ones who are going to question, you know? They’re not the only ones I have to hide this from. Sometimes I wonder if I ought to just drop out but then still, that doesn’t change anything. This tattoo is stuck here forever and there’s nothing I can do about it. It might as well be a damn curse mark.”

“Do you regret joining the ANBU?” Kakashi asked. It was a valid question, he thought. Joining the ANBU was not a split second decision you make when you’re pressed for time. It’s a commitment, it’s dangerous, and it’s something that sticks with you forever. Kakashi understood that last part well enough.

Rei shook her head. “No, not really. I mean, this is what I always wanted, isn’t it? To be a strong, capable ninja? I just wish the side effects weren’t quite so hard to deal with.”

“Well, I’m not going to tell you that you’re wrong. Being a ninja takes a lot of sacrifice, and joining the ANBU requires even more” he replied. “But” he then added, “I’d like to believe there’s some good in it, too.”

“Oh yeah?” Rei scoffed. “Like what?”

“I’m a little hurt that you’ve forgotten” he said with mock disappointment. He cupped her cheek and gently turned her head to face him. “If you had never joined the ANBU, I never would’ve been brought back to you. And that is without a doubt the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Rei rolled her eyes. “You’ve been reading too many of those romance novels, Kakashi” she replied.

“I’m not speaking from those books, Rei. I actually mean what I’m saying to you” he said. “You reminded me of things I thought I had lost a long time ago. You helped to revive me when I thought I was lost forever. You mean a lot to me, Rei, and if it hadn’t been for ANBU, I don’t think I ever would have remembered just how much.”

By now, Rei’s eyes were welling up with tears. She hated when he did this to her, making her feel things. She shook her head with a teary laugh. “That’s all well and good but…that doesn’t address the fact that I’m still going to have to hide this from everyone else and play this little charade. I’m going to have to spend my entire life lying about things that are important.”

Kakashi shook his head and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I know. But try not to think about those things, at least for tonight. Just focus on what’s happening right now. You don’t have to hide anything from me.” Wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Rei nodded and nestled her head against his chest.

“I know” she whispered. “Thank you, Kakashi. For everything.”

“It’s not a problem” he whispered back. A soft smile touched his lips and, pulling his mask down, he kissed her on the head and turned out the light.


	6. Happy Birthday, Kakashi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A brief little installment to celebrate Kakashi Hatake's birthday on September 15th!

                It was a cold, unforgiving day when she told him. He blinked a few times, unable to believe what she was saying. Did he even really want this? He didn’t know. He hadn’t thought about it. But yet here she was, his beautiful wife, pregnant with his child. As Aijo’s belly expanded, the reality set in deeper and deeper. Sakumo Hatake was going to be a father.

                And then it happened. Like lightning, she was in labor, gripping his hand and panting and crying. He had never seen such a pain. It was different than when a comrade falls on the battlefield, more visceral and desperate and raw. He watched her face contort as she pushed, his heart racing in his chest, until suddenly a cry broke through and everything shifted. The doctor held up his baby and his heart swelled. _What should we name him_? he asked his wife. She held the infant close to her chest, caressing his cheek with the trademark tenderness of a mother. She knew in an instant, just by looking at him, what he would be called. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                One year later, a bright baby boy with boundless possibility. He was intelligent and prodigal, the ideal son. They baked him a cake with a dog made out of icing and cheered and sang for him. His mother blew out the candles from behind his back and clapped her hands and kissed him on the head. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

At two, he was stumbling around the yard, splashing in the lake behind their home. A couple had just moved in next door, Yuruganai and Hana, old friends of the White Fang and his wife. Soon they would welcome their own baby. They attended the small party, introducing themselves with soft smiles and kind eyes. They gifted him a storybook that his mother could read to him before bed, that he cherished for years to come. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                The storybook stayed at his bedside every night. The couple next door gave birth to a baby girl, Rei, and Kakashi’s heart felt something it never had before. He announced he would be her ninja, her protector, and that he would let no harm come to her. He smiled at her in her mother’s arms, informing her that he was three years old today. She cooed and squirmed, her mother explaining she must have been saying _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

His mother’s voice had become an echo, the storybook collecting dust. His father had changed—he looked older, tired. He was grateful for an independent child who could care for himself while he was gone, though the family next door still supervised to ensure he would be alright. They even invited him to sleep over if he pleased. One night in particular, when the house was empty and he was all alone, he finally accepted their offer. They set up a place for him on the floor in the nursery, which he thought was lame but he did not protest. He was a student in the academy now, the first step to becoming a brave and strong ninja. He peered over to the baby fast asleep in her crib, making noises in her sleep. He hoped his father would return soon. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

The metal plate on his headband flashed in the sunlight on his way home, shiny and new. His father rejoiced, though he knew it was coming. His son was already a gifted ninja, better than any of his comrades. He was placed in a team with a Uchiha boy and a girl a few years his senior, under the direction of their sensei, Minato. Sakumo had high hopes for his little boy. He baked him a cake and invited the neighbors. Rei looked up at him as if he had put the stars in the sky. He patted her on the head and blew out his candles. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._  

                The young shinobi progressed quickly, graduating to a chunin in just a year. His sensei had faith in him. Kakashi had wild potential. In this, however, Kakashi was doused in pride. He was a prodigy. He was gifted. These were things he heard on a daily basis. They were the foundation of his journey. Every day he came home, a young girl would sit on her front porch awaiting his return. He would tell her great tales of his travels, and of all the enemies he fought. She looked at him as if he put the stars in the sky. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                Kakashi was favored by all who hired him and all who worked alongside him. He was a bright and shining example of what a shinobi should be. He owed much of it to the teachings of his father. At seven, he idolized the man. At eight, he disapproved of him. The house had long since been quiet. Kakashi didn’t care for the neighbors anymore. He lived alone. He avoided the patch of floor where he had found his father lifeless. He spoke nothing of the man who gave up his assignment to save his comrades. He visited his grave every so often, laying flowers down and promising he would not be like him. Kakashi would follow the rules. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

At ten, Kakashi was promoted to a jonin. He worked tirelessly alongside his comrades to uphold the promise he had made. And yet somehow he still failed. Obito died, and gave him his eye. Rin was killed by his own chidori. He had lost everyone…except one. He watched Rei train tirelessly from the shadows, his heart breaking. It would never be enough. She ran to him one day, crooked teeth and wild hair, rejoicing in her own promotion to genin. A lump rose in his throat. _You’re tiny. Weak. You’ll never make it_. The face of a dear friend flashed in the back of his mind as he walked away from the last thing he had left, her cries echoing in his ears. He refused to turn back. He refused to cry. He celebrated another year as he had grown accustomed to: utterly alone, nothing special. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                At thirteen, he was approached in a hospital by the hokage himself, a familiar friend and kindhearted teacher. _I came here today to assign you to the ANBU under my direct control._ He tossed his book in the dumpster and entered the dark building, a disconcerting smell tainting the air. He strapped the sword to his back, the gauntlets on his arms. As he put on that mask, he was no longer Kakashi. He was an anonymous fighter, a hidden ninja. He was a blank face among a crowd of villagers. He cared not for himself any longer. All that mattered now was work. There would be no more _happy birthday, Kakashi._

                Only a few months had passed when the hokage summoned him for a top-secret errand, announcing he and his wife were expecting. He was to guard over Kushina and ensure no harm came to her during her vulnerable months. He did as he was told, watching her like a hawk for the duration of her pregnancy. In the quiet moments, when she slept or when Minato was by her side, he often had lots of time to think. With one month before her due date, Kushina’s belly had grown rather large. Kakashi wondered how it felt, carrying around so much extra weight, knowing there was life inside of you. He thought of his own mother, a distant face, a hazy memory. He thought of the first time he met Hana, his father explaining her own pregnancy. He thought of the baby she birthed shortly after, a face he had not seen in years. He wondered where she was and what she was doing, if she was alright. If he let his mind wander long enough, he would no longer see the hokage’s wife before him but his old friend, wild red hair and crooked teeth. He saw her standing at the counter preparing dinner. The door would swing open and a vision of himself stepped inside, older and wiser and happier. He would wrap his arms around her distended waist and kiss her cheek. A future in which there was no pain or desolation. He willed away the thoughts as quickly as they came. He was fourteen, and none of those stupid, childish ideas mattered.  He twirled his finger around the group of dragonflies that encircled him and sighed. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

At fifteen, the village was in ruin. The hokage had died. The Nine Tailed Demon Fox had attacked, and his spirit was sealed inside of Minato’s son. The next few years were dark and ruthless. Kakashi cared for nothing. He was known in ANBU for his cold, distant demeanor. Every so often, he would slip into the bookstore Rei’s family owned, wander around and purchase something he would only mindlessly read. She was professional, mature, blunt. Seeing her was like walking into a graveyard. His spine chilled. He walked inside on a September day, picking up a book that the sannin, Jiraiya, had released a few years earlier. He approached the counter, paid, and made his leave. As he opened it up that night, the receipt tucked inside fell into his lap. He turned it over to find a tiny message written at the bottom in scribbled hand: _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                At nineteen, the third hokage had called for him, saying something about an important announcement. The door creaked open. A young woman stood before the desk with her back turned, her head down and her hands clenched at her sides. _Kakashi, I have inducted a new member into the ANBU I would like you to meet. I have decided to assign her to your team._ She turned and even with her mask, he knew her immediately. Wild red hair. Petite form. She was nothing like he remembered in their youth. They fought alongside one another, and she was smart and sharp and capable. Something within him snapped, a strange feeling spreading that he only remembered experiencing a long time ago, like something from a fever dream. He woke up alongside her in the woods with her mask crooked. He fixed it for her as she slept but not before taking in the features of her matured face and thinking that none of this could actually be real. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                He was twenty when he began leaving breakfast on her doorstep and finally continuing to fulfill that promise he had made so many years ago. She no longer looked at him as if he put the stars in the sky, but as if she had watched them explode one by one and the shards had fractured her skin. And then one day, there was a package on his own doorstep, an anonymous message reading _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                At twenty two, he was trying to find his way. Freshly reprieved of his ANBU duties and now assigned to train young and impressionable ninja, he was unsure whether he was fit for the task. They said that he had lost his kindness, that they hoped he would find his way back through the “power of youth” or at least that’s what Guy liked to say. And all the while, there was Rei. She was his constant, his rock, always there. Wild hair and crooked teeth. He cupped her cheek and pressed his lips to hers, their bodies instinctively falling back onto the bed and submitting to one another. She gazed into his eyes, breathlessly whispering _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                A soft smile touched his lips as the three children who changed his life awaited him. He was always late, a true disgruntlement to them, but he had errands he could not avoid. Still, as he approached, he looked to each of them and his heart burst a little. The broken young jinchuriki, the very boy whose mother he had watched over during her pregnancy, so determined to become hokage someday. A young kunoichi with untapped potential, fawning over the boy hellbent on revenge that he would later tragically lose to darkness. He did not know what was to come, all he knew then was the present but that was enough. He had grown to love these kids. He saw kindness, determination, power, potential. He loved them as if they were his own. He smiled down at them, apologizing for being late like every other day, and they rolled their eyes and complained but he didn’t care. _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._

                And some day in the not so distant future, he would come home to find his glowing wife standing at the counter preparing dinner, wild red hair and crooked teeth. He would wrap his arms around her waist and kiss her cheek, the promise of new life underneath his hands. He’d hope for a future with no pain or desolation. Dragonflies would buzz outside. He would dust off that storybook from when he was a boy and set it on the shelf so it would be ready for a new generation of bedtime stories. He was thirty and those stupid, childish ideas were all that mattered. He would press his hand to her belly, cup her cheek in his hand, kiss her as if it was the last, and bury himself in gratitude for all he had won in this life. And she would gaze back at him as if he put the stars in the sky and whisper lovingly _Happy Birthday, Kakashi._


	7. The Fire on Natsuki House

_Boar. Dog. Ram. Monkey. Bird._ Or was it _bird, monkey, ram, boar, dog?_ And where was she supposed to put her pinkies for that one sign again? This was futile. Rei groaned and flopped back into the dirt, staring up at the clouds overhead. She would never make it as a ninja if she couldn’t master a simple summoning jutsu, nonetheless the freaking hand signs. The fluffy silhouettes of the zodiac floated overhead, taunting her.

“Why do you give up so soon?” a creaking voice suddenly called. Rei shot upright, finding the hunched figure of a familiar friend standing by.

“It’s too hard, I’ll never grasp it” Rei complained. Grandma Teiko furrowed her brows, unconvinced. She knew her granddaughter had the guts to become a shinobi. She knew Rei was strong enough to prove everyone wrong.

She shook her head as she shuffled closer, staring down at the young girl’s face. “Well, you can’t master anything by laying on your back. Well, maybe one thing, but…” she said, quickly realizing where her mind was heading and swatting the thought out of the air, “That’s a topic for a different day.” With her gnarled wooden cane, she then began tapping Rei on the shoulder as a sign to get up. “Come now, practice a little harder and you’ll get there.”

“You really think so?” Rei questioned. The more everyone else put her down, the less she believed in the words of those who did not doubt her. Why was the negative stuff so much easier to believe? Especially when some of the worst was coming from some of the most important people.

Grandma Teiko narrowed her eyes, as if to silently suggest her granddaughter was a little slow in the head. “Of course I think so. You doubt your elders? I’d like to think I’ve been around long enough to know what I’m talking about, kid.”

Rei huffed, knowing her grandmother was right. She was older than even the hokage. Even if she had no firsthand experience in the work of becoming a ninja, she had seen her fair share of fighters come and go throughout the village’s history. Of course she would know whether or not someone was fit for the ranks. Still, a part of her found it hard to trust in the old woman’s words. Grandma Teiko may have believed in her, but what if she didn’t believe in herself? No matter, now was not the time to dwell. She stood and dusted herself off, brushing the hair out of her face. “Alright, so what do you want me to do about it?” she asked.

                A soft smile spread across Grandma Teiko’s face as she stepped back and leaned against her cane. “Show me what you’ve got, girl. Show me what you’ve been working on. I want to see you shine.”

                “Okay…” Rei nodded slowly, uncertainly. She wasn’t used to having an audience, or at least not one that was a member of her family. But she needed to trust that Grandma Teiko would not judge her if she messed up. Not that she would be able to offer any criticism, anyway. The young chunin sucked in a deep breath, shook out her hands, and began testing her hand signs once again. No matter what she tried, however, she just couldn’t seem to get the order right. And if she did, she couldn’t manage the proper hand formations. _Useless. Worthless. Pointless._

                “See, the issue here is that you’re getting far too flustered with yourself” Grandma Teiko interrupted. “You’re so focused on perfection that you’re not thinking clearly enough. Stop worrying about screwing up and start worrying about applying what you’ve learned, you understand?” Rei paused to absorb the information the wise old woman had given her. She shut her eyes tight, taking a moment to refocus her brain, before starting again. Amid her practice, however, the front door slid open and a somber face appeared.

                “Teiko, may we have a word with you, please?” Hana said softly. It wasn’t until Grandma Teiko was halfway inside that Rei had realized she was walking away. A surge of panic coursed through her. She was no good. Her failure was a frustration. Even Grandma Teiko was giving up on her now.

                “You just keep on doing what you’re doing, Rei!” she called to her with a wave. “I’ll be right back out in a second!” The chunin nodded slowly, her palms growing sweaty. The look on her mother’s face worried her. Something wasn’t right.

                Grandma Teiko was not at dinner that night. Rei had spent all afternoon forcing herself to perfect her summoning jutsu with the hopes that she’d succeed by the time Grandma Teiko returned, but she never did. The anxiety was starting to overwhelm her. What was going on? Her parents had barely said a word since she stepped back inside.

                “Eat up, dear” Hana pushed, eyeing the untouched food in front of her daughter. Rei shook her head.

                “We cannot eat until everyone is seated, isn’t that right?” she asked. For parents so often dead-set on morality and custom, they certainly were abandoning their creed tonight.

                Yuruganai shifted and cleared his throat. “Grandma Teiko will not be joining us for dinner tonight, I’m afraid” he announced, voice firm.

                Rei blinked a few times, trying to decipher what that meant. A sinking feeling lodged itself in the pit of her stomach. “W-what? Why not? What’s going on?”

                “Nothing, dear!” Hana reassured, placing a hand atop that of her daughter. “Grandma Teiko just had some…unexpected engagements to tend to.”

                _Unexpected engagements?_ What the hell did that mean? Her heart was racing, and she suddenly felt as if she couldn’t breathe. Unexpected engagements. She had unexpected engagements. What did that mean? God, what the hell did that even mean? Rei squeezed her chopsticks, struggled to focus her attention on a single grain of rice but to no avail. All she saw was a blurry white mass. “Where is she?” she croaked.

                “You are not to bother her right now” Yuruganai said sternly. “She does not need to be burdened with pointless distractions.”

                Rei was beginning to lose her cool. She didn’t understand. Why were they keeping her in the dark like this? It wasn’t right. She deserved to know what was going on.

                Hana’s eyes darted to her stony-faced husband, then to her crumbling daughter, and back. She cleared her throat, the tension in the room almost palpable. “Grandma Teiko is perfectly fine, dear, don’t you worry” she said, trying to sound as calm as she could manage.

                “Then why won’t you tell me what the hell is going on?” Rei growled, near to bursting. She couldn’t handle one more second of this.

                “Because it is none of your business” Yuruganai snapped. He fixed his eyes on his daughter, wide and crazed and furious. Rei glared back at him, testing his rage.

                “Damn too it’s my business!” she shouted, slamming her fist on the table. Her bowl toppled over, spilling food all over the floor. Hana buried her face in her hands, shielding herself from the storm about to hit.

                “How dare you disrespect my authority!” Yuruganai shouted back, towering over his daughter. “If I say it is none of your business then it is none of your business and I expect you to obey me!”

                “I spit on your authority” Rei growled, rising onto her tiptoes so that she was nearly at eye level with the man. “I demand you tell me what’s going on this instant or you will feel my wrath!”

                “Your wrath? Is that a threat?” Yuruganai laughed. What wrath could she possibly have? She was barely even a ninja in his eyes. She could barely even master hand signs let alone fight him.  

                Rei glared at him hard, her cheeks burning and her head pounding. “That’s a promise” she said in a low, powerful voice. Yuruganai clenched his fist as if prepared to strike her. Before either of them could make a move, however, Hana cried out in anguish.

                “Both of you, please, stop this!” she begged, shaking her head and restraining tears. “She’s…she’s in her room packing…” she then whispered weakly, pointing toward the direction of Grandma Teiko’s chambers. Within seconds, Rei was out of the room. Yuruganai turned his gaze to his wife, nostrils flaring, unable to believe she would satisfy the demands of their bratty, hotheaded daughter.

                Rei swallowed back tears as she burst into Grandma Teiko’s room dramatically. The old woman paused, a pile of neatly folded clothes upon the bed. She blinked a few times before turning to face her hysterical granddaughter. “What is the meaning of this?” she asked, approaching.

                “Grandma Teiko, what the hell is going on here? Why weren’t you at dinner? What are you packing for? And why didn’t you come back outside to finish watching me train?” Rei blurted. Her hands shook and her eyes darted around the room trying to look for any clues, any potential answers to the questions swirling around her head.

                “My dear, sweet girl, you worry far too much” Grandma Teiko reassured, resting a hand on her granddaughter’s shoulder. “I’m afraid I must go away for a short while. You see, a very dear friend of mine from long ago has passed away and it is my duty to go to them and pay my respects.”

                A wave of relief and sympathy washed over the young girl’s face. So that’s all this was. Thank the heavens. “Where are you going? And when do you think you’ll be back?” she asked.

                “The funeral is to be held in the Land of Rice Paddies, where my dear friend resided. But don’t you worry, dear, I shouldn’t be gone very long” the old woman reassured, patting Rei’s cheek.

                The Land of Rice Paddies. Rei had heard of it, even ventured near it, but was never given the chance to visit it herself. She wondered what it was like there, and if she would ever get the chance to go, before a wild idea suddenly struck her. “Why don’t you take me with you?” she suggested. “I think it might be good for me! The experience, I mean! Like familiarizing myself with foreign nations!”

                Grandma Teiko chuckled and shook her head as she turned back to her work. “Oh, I wish I could but I’m afraid it’s not in my power to do such a thing.”

                “W-what do you mean?” Rei stammered. “I promise I’ll be good! I won’t cause you any trouble!”

                “It’s not me I’m worried about” she replied, a faint twinkle in her eye. “You are a ninja and a ninja should not leave to go dilly-dallying about when her village may need her at any waking moment. What kind of person would I be if I was to take you with me only for Konoha to be attacked while I’m gone, and you’re the only one who can save it? I cannot bear the thought.”

                It was a far-fetched idea, but it did admittedly shift Rei’s mindset. Once again, the old woman was right. Though she was far from capable of saving Konoha all by herself, she had a duty to be at her village’s disposal whenever it may need her. The third hokage hadn’t called for her in quite some time but that didn’t mean he never would again. She needed to stay for the sake of her homeland, her training, her career. Even if that meant managing the doubters alone.

                Grandma Teiko departed early the next morning, exiting the village as the sun rose overhead. A three-man squad of chunin went with her, a group far more skilled than herself. She wished she could go with them, but it was not her assignment. She would just have to wait until Lord Third had something for her to do. As she bid them a safe journey, however, she felt a looming suspicion drape over her. A pair of eyes watching from a distance. She tried to avoid it but to no avail. Whipping around, she caught the fluttering black of a cape disappear into an alleyway. Danger.

                She checked the pouch at her backside, the kunai holster on her thigh. Tightened the headband tied around her neck. Everything was in order. If it was a fight this guy wanted, it was a fight he would get. Sucking in a deep breath, she raced after him into the alleyway, only to find he was nowhere to be found. _Shit._

                “Looking for something?” a voice then spoke. Rei shrieked, launching a kunai in the direction of the stranger, only to be faced with a stealthy ANBU who caught the blade between his fingers. “What’s a kid like you doing snooping around alleyways? Shouldn’t you be off playing games with your friends?”

                “What’s that supposed to mean?” Rei asked back, immediately defensive. “Check the headband, idiot. I’m not some kid, I’m a ninja.” She flashed the metal forehead protector at him, sunlight glinting against it in an almost obnoxious manner.

                “Strong words for a genin. Hopefully you learn to respect those higher in rank than you” he replied coolly. There was something bothersome about him, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. He was outrageously cocky, for one thing.

                Rolling her eyes, she sourly corrected him. “For your information, I’m a chunin. Not that you’d know, it’s not like you can see anything with that stupid mask on.”

                “Chunin, huh? How old are you anyways?” he questioned.

                “What kind of a question is that?” Rei fired back. The ANBU member raised his hands in surrender.

                “Whoa there, just try to calm down. I was just curious, is all” he replied.

                Rei huffed the hair out of her face and said matter-of-factly, “Fine. If you must know, I’m fourteen.” Something about this guy was really getting under her skin.

                The ninja nodded slowly, thoughtfully. _It had been so long_. “Well, try not to go looking for trouble, understand?” he said after a moment of silence. “Wouldn’t want you getting unnecessarily hurt.” Before Rei could say anything else, the ANBU member launched the kunai back at her and turned, walking away. The sun pierced through the eyes of his mask for a split second, and Rei could’ve swore she caught a glint of red.

                Two strangers hid in the trees overlooking the Natuski residence, surveying the layout of the home and all the possibly entry points. “What are you thinking, brother?” the one hissed.

                “I’m thinking there’s going to be a heat wave in Konoha this evening…” the other chuckled, shaking a box of matches. “This should be a fine repayment for all the trouble that brat caused.” The first ninja nodded, laughing maniacally, but quickly stopped when he noticed someone approaching down the lane.

                “That girl!” he whispered, pointing to the kunoichi on her way home. With her pale skin and wild red hair, she looked quite like…but no. That was impossible. They watched as she huffed and slipped inside their target home, a sickening satisfaction spreading through their bodies. “She must be a descendant of the Arrow Ninja” he growled.

                “What fun to wipe out the entire family!” the second rejoiced. “And then our leader will finally be avenged.”

                The first nodded, a sly smile touching his face. “Yes, all in good time, Shingo. Fifty years is far too long a wait.”

                “Mother? Father? I’m home” Rei announced. There was no reply. She rolled her eyes and shrugged, figuring perhaps they were ignoring her again. Or maybe they were busy sorting out the week’s expected shipments. Regardless, Rei was hardly concerned. Her mind was focused on other things.

                She thought of Grandma Teiko, and the Land of Rice Paddies. She thought of her deceased friend and the funeral they would hold for them. She wondered who this mystery person was, and how Grandma Teiko knew them. It was hard to experience anything outside of Konoha without being a ninja, but perhaps there were things about Grandma Teiko’s past Rei knew nothing about. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she realized she knew next to nothing of Grandma Teiko’s past. Maybe she was a journalist or a philanthropist or a vendor travelling throughout the Five Great Nations and befriending new and interesting people. If only she could hear the stories of the old woman’s youth—perhaps it was a request to be made upon her return.

                “Did Grandma Teiko make it out of the village safely this morning?” Yuruganai asked that night at dinner. Rei nodded. She didn’t quite understand why her parents hadn’t come with her to see the old woman off. Did they not want to wish her a safe trip? Did they not want to bid her a proper goodbye?

                Rei’s mother smiled softly. “That’s very good to hear” she said, taking a bite of her food.

                “She ought to be careful out there” Yuruganai grunted. “I’ve heard of some shady deals going on around those parts.”

                “Well, she had ninja escorts so I’m sure she’ll be fine” Rei countered. Yuruganai scoffed.

                “Ninja escorts don’t mean a thing” he muttered. “She could still get murdered out there.”

                “Yuruganai!” Hana cried, eyeing her husband sternly. This was not proper conversation for the dinner table. Her husband barely reacted.

                “Do you not trust our village’s finest?” his daughter asked. It was a loaded question, for sure. Say no and he’d be insulting his own daughter. Not that he had a hard time doing that already.

                “Ninjas are no good. They don’t do a damn thing. Can’t keep people safe, can’t keep people alive. Hell, they can’t even keep themselves alive” he spat. Rei rolled her eyes, restraining herself from firing back at him. She didn’t really have the energy to fight with him two nights in a row. It was far too taxing.

                That night, as she lay awake in bed, she thought about the ninja who accompanied her grandmother that morning. She thought of the ninja who confronted her in the alley. There was something so unnerving about him, so frustrating in the way he spoke down to her. As if she was incapable. As if she was a child. _I’m just as good a ninja as him_ , she thought to herself. _I could make it into ANBU if I really wanted to_. The proverbial her laughed in the back of her head, knowing that was a stone cold lie. She would never be strong enough to make ANBU. She was surprised she even made it as far as chunin at this point. But then again, on the battlefield she was a different person. On the battlefield, she was fierce. Her mind shifted into hyperdrive, acting almost on its own accord. She was precise and thoughtful and stealthy. But it took more than just a quick throw of a kunai to make it into ANBU, she knew that well enough. There were things everyone else could do that she struggled greatly with. She lacked the basic skills they seemed to master so quickly. Like those freaking hand signs. She stared at the ceiling, trying to replay the recipes in her head. _Horse. Serpent. Ram. Monkey. Boar. Horse. Tiger._ That wasn’t right. Groaning, she rolled over and buried her face in her pillow. She would never get it right. As she laid there, wallowing, however, the room suddenly grew uncharacteristically warm. Sweat beaded on her brow and the back of her knees. A crackling sound echoed down the hallway. A sinking feeling hit her stomach.

                She rose slowly, clenching her fists in an effort to suppress her anxiety. The further she moved, however, the hotter it became until she saw the shadows of flames licking against the sliding door. _Shit, shit, shit, shit._

                Her head was starting to spin—there was no freaking way this was happening. How did this even happen? It was certainly not her mother’s fault—she was always so careful in the kitchen and even if it was her, the fire would’ve begun way earlier in the night. No, this was the work of something else. Her mind flashed back to the ANBU member she had met earlier in the day. He was certainly a sketchy character. Could this be the work of a traitor ninja? Could he be after her? She knew it was ridiculous but she couldn’t stop overthinking. There was too much going on and it was getting too hot and the smoke was filling the air and her lungs ached, she couldn’t breathe. Her heart began to race in her chest—this was it. She was going to die here. She was going to burn a lowly chunin, never realizing her full potential. Grandma Teiko would return to find her home and family reduced to ash. Poor, sweet Grandma Teiko. If only Rei could’ve seen her one last time. She remembered her kind face, wrinkled with age and wisdom, her snarky attitude. She thought of how she had failed her. She never mastered the summoning jutsu and now she never would. She thought back to the day before, Grandma Teiko dutifully watching as she struggled to perfect such a simple technique. Her creaking old voice rang in her head. _See, the issue here is that you’re getting far too flustered with yourself. Stop worrying about screwing up and start worrying about applying what you’ve learned._

                A strike of cold suddenly dashed down Rei’s spine. Grandma Teiko refused to grant her granddaughter’s wish for fear that her village may need her for something. And now here she was, standing in the middle of danger, the only one who could swoop in and save the day. She was a ninja, god dammit, so she better try acting like one. Rushing to her desk, she strapped her pouch to her backside and her kunai holster to her thigh, then sucked in a deep breath and burst into the hallway.

                The flames licked up the walls and roared in her ears, the heat nearly unbearable. Everything was clouded in a haze of smoke. Rei coughed into her elbow, then reached back inside her room to grab her bandana, quickly tying it around the lower half of her face. Before anything else, she needed to find her parents. She jolted down the hall, dodging patches of fire spreading across the ground, and burst into her parents’ bedroom.

                “Mother? Father?” she called out, scanning the room. The smoke was so thick, however, she could barely see.

                “Rei?” she heard her mother call. The kunoichi squinted to find the woman curled up on the floor, hugging her knees to her chest. Rei rushed forward to grab her, quickly inspecting her for injuries, before dragging her out into the hall. Seconds later, part of the ceiling caved in right where she was standing. “Oh, Rei, dear, are you alright? You have to get out of here!” she cried, but her daughter shook her head.

                “Where is dad?” she asked. She needed to find her father before it was too late. Clearly he wasn’t in their bedroom. Hana’s hands were shaking, her eyes darting from each patch of flame threatening to scorch her flesh.

                “I-I don’t know! Last I saw him he was filing paperwork for the incoming orders” she said, voice overflowing with panic. Of course he was. All the man ever cared about was his work.

                Rei rested a reassuring hand on her mother’s shoulder. “I’m going to go look for him. You get out of here” she commanded. Hana stammered, shaking her head, refusing to leave her daughter behind, but Rei gave her no choice. She searched the area for the nearest escape, catching sight of a window seconds away from being engulfed in flame, and shoved her mother out of it. Hana shrieked and hit the ground with a thud, crawling as far from the house as possible. Tears streamed down her face. Her family, her husband and daughter, what if she never saw them again? Why couldn’t Rei simply listen to her? She watched the inferno continue to engulf her home, her heart beating out of her chest. There had to be something she could do. She looked around frantically before her eyes landed on the lake in the backyard. She quickly began scooping up as much water in her cupped palms as she could and splashing it on their home, though she knew it obviously wouldn’t do much.

                Inside, Rei raced through the house toward her father’s office. The fire was growing more intense. She was running out of time. She kicked the door open to find Yuruganai frantically organizing his paperwork and trying to huff out the flames growing around him. Typical.

                Grabbing his wrist, Rei yanked him toward the door but he protested. “Come on! We have to go _now_ ” she insisted, but he narrowed his eyes at her and broke free of her grasp.

                “How dare you presume to tell me what to do! I am the head of this household!” he said sternly back. Rei groaned. She didn’t have time for this.

                “Yeah, well you won’t be for much longer if you don’t get the hell out of here!” she shouted. He shot her a harsh glare, clearly insulted by her sass.

                “Don’t you speak to me like that!” he said. “I have three days until our next shipment but they won’t hand the merchandise over to me unless I have all of my receipts in order! This paperwork—”

                “This paperwork means nothing compared to your life! Now come on!” she interrupted, tugging him toward the door. He was far stronger and far more stubborn than she, however, and refused to move thus leaving her with only one other option. If he refused to comply with her demands, she’d have to take care of things the hard way. Drawing a kunai from her holster, she pressed the blade to her father’s back and squeezed his wrist tightly.

                “If you don’t follow me out of this building right now, I’m going to have to drag you out against your will, understood?” she growled. Yuruganai narrowed his eyes at her, crumpling one of his papers in his fist. How dare she speak to him like that? Who did she think she was? Before he could say anything else, however, the ceiling creaked overhead. A gasp broke past Rei’s lips as she tugged her distracted father out of the way just in time for the ceiling to collapse. “Now will you freaking listen to me?!” she shouted at him, dragging him down the hallway.

                Everywhere she turned, flames blocked any preexisting exits. They were trapped. The only way out now was through. She scanned the area for a section of the fire flaring perhaps lower than the rest, ultimately finding a small break in the wall of flame. Without another word, she braced herself before shoving her father through the opening with all her might. Once she was certain he was out of the way, she bid one more glance to her destroyed home before leaping through the flares herself.

                Rei connected with the ground hard, her body tumbling all the way to the bank of the lake. She gasped for breath, her eyes meeting with the dirty feet of a stranger chuckling over her. She raised her eyes up to see an unfamiliar, villainous face. “Hello, little kunoichi” he hissed. Hana struggled against his embrace, his hand cupped over her mouth and a kunai to her chest.

                “Who do you think you are?” Rei shouted, voice hoarse from inhaling so much smoke. She could feel her body growing weaker but she could not give up. Not yet. She still had unfinished business to attend to.

                The man grinned as if he was a tiger eyeing his prey, introducing himself as Shuncho. “Don’t try to run, little girl” his comrade, Shingo, growled. He kicked Yuruganai in the stomach, rendering him useless. “We’re not leaving here until you three are nice and dead.”

                Rei coughed and glared at the two men. “Don’t even think about it” she replied. With one swift motion, she swung her legs under Shuncho’s who lost his balance and fell flat on the ground. Hana wiggled free of his grasp, tears streaming down her face.

                “Mom, run!” Rei shouted, forcing herself off the ground. She ran parallel to the bank of the lake, reaching her hand down to skate along the surface. With great determination, she began the same chant that she had embedded into her mind so long ago. _Aita. Hagemasu. Senta. Josho suru. Buki-te. Juden kanryo!_

A blue mist rested over the surface of the water, pulsing with power. Rei rose her hands over her head but before she could make a move, Shingo surged forward and seized her tightly. The young ninja struggled in his grip, kicking him everywhere she could, but to no avail. With a mighty roar, Rei swung her arms and a wave of water rose up and crashed over them, sending Shingo sailing. The kunoichi ran as fast as she could as far away from him as she could manage before pausing in front of the inferno that had become her home.

                She sucked in a deep breath, forcing her hands to remain steady. She had never charged such a large object with chakra before, let alone controlled it. But that meant nothing to what she had to do. She focused her eyes on the flames before forming her hands in a circular formation connecting at the wrists, spinning them abruptly so as to twist the water up and out of its basin. Then, pulling her arms back, she willed the water forward in a massive crash against their home. The streets flooded, startling the hoards of people who had rushed to investigate and call for help.

                Shingo and Shuncho watched in horror as this otherwise weak-looking kid commanded the water, extinguishing the flames. A group of jonin rushed to the scene, prepared to help, but skidded to a halt when they caught sight of Rei, unsure of what to do. The longer she worked, however, the weaker she felt herself becoming. She still hadn’t completely succeeded. She could not let herself collapse until the entire house was saved.

                Her vision blurred as she bit her lip and forced herself to keep channeling her energy, watching as the last bits of orange disappeared. And then the surge of water fell, her eyes crossed, and she fell to her knees on the verge of consciousness. Everything grew hazy, unfamiliar voices echoing in her ears. _We need a medical-nin! Get a stretcher, quick! She’s out of it! Watch your back! You’re under arrest!_

                When she awoke, blinding sunlight spilled through a window at her righthand side. The blurry figure of a woman startled and rushed forward. “M-Mom…?” Rei croaked.

                Hana took her daughter’s hand and smiled softly, tears threatening to spill. Her face was flushed, her hair disheveled. “Yes! I’m right here!” she replied.

                “W-what happened?” Rei asked. Hana burst into tears before she could reply, pressing her daughter’s hand to her cheek. A door slid open and a woman in white strutted inside hugging a clipboard to her chest.

                “Glad to see you’re awake, Miss Natsuki!” she greeted brightly.

                “What’s going on? Where am I?” Rei asked, blinking to try and focus her vision.

                “You’re in the hospital” the nurse replied. “You suffered some hefty chakra exhaustion but nothing too serious! We should be able to send you home by tomorrow afternoon.”

                “Not like we have a home to return to” Yuruganai grunted. It was then that Rei noticed he, too, was with them, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. Some moderate burn marks dappled the left side of his face and arm. Rei furrowed her brows, trying to recall everything that transpired the night before. It all felt like just some wild dream until she tried to sit up and felt the strong aching of her own body.

                “Just try to relax! You need your rest” the nurse said, easing the patient back down onto the bed. As Rei looked from her hysterical mother to her stony-faced father and back again, her memory began churning up more details of the incident. The fire, those strange men, the chakra tsunami. She had never charged something that big before. No wonder she was hospitalized.

                “Never do something like that again, you understand?!” Hana cried, clearly unhinged. A lump rose in Rei’s throat.

                “I just…wanted to help…” she whispered hoarsely.

                “Yeah, a lot of good you did” Yuruganai scoffed. “All of my receipts are gone. I’m not going to be able to accept any of those new shipments. We won’t be able to restock our shelves for weeks now. And we have no place to live.”

                Rei’s heart ached. She should’ve known nobody would care. Why did she even try anymore? What was the point of being a ninja and trying to do good deeds if nobody ever appreciated them? She nestled herself deeper into her hospital bed, peering out the window at all the passerby below. A familiar looking ANBU member walked among them and she swore she caught him glance up at her for a split second.

                “If it’s alright, can I get some time alone? I’m pretty tired” Rei whispered somberly, never taking her eyes off the window. The nurse nodded once and escorted her mother and father out of the room, glancing back to the young patient once more before closing the door.

                As she lay there, Rei let her mind wander into dangerous territory. Various voices rang through her head, shouting the same redundant nonsense as always: insults and criticisms of how she’d never be strong enough, fast enough, skilled enough to be an honorable ninja. All that may be true, and maybe she was wasting her time. Maybe she was better off satisfying her father’s oppressive wishes and just taking over Kaminoki. Maybe she should give up and marry rich, pop out fifteen kids, like her mother always dreamed for her. But she knew deep down in her heart, that wasn’t what made _her_ happy. That wasn’t what she was passionate about.

                After a few moments, a muffled conversation outside captured her attention. She strained her ears to try to pick up anything she could, only catching a few words here and there. But a few words were enough to paint her a vivid picture. There was something about Grandma Teiko, and the men who attacked their home. There must have been some connection. She just couldn’t figure out what.

                The Third Hokage sighed as he overlooked his village from the large windows of his office. A stack of paperwork awaited his critical eye but there was only one thing on his mind right now: Shingo and Shuncho. How they even got inside the village was a mystery to him but that didn’t matter now. All that he cared about was what they did once they were inside. A knock at the door stirred him from his thoughts, turning and bidding his guest entry. A young ANBU member stepped inside, approaching the desk dutifully.

                “You called for me?” he asked. The hokage nodded, taking a drag from his pipe.

                “I assume you’ve heard of the incident at the Natsuki residence last night” he began. The ANBU member nodded. “Shuncho and Shingo from the Land of Rice Paddies somehow invaded our village to wreak havoc upon an innocent household. They have since been detained, their plots of revenge foiled. But that is not what I find most interesting about this case.” The ANBU member awaited elaboration. “By the time our jonin arrived on the scene, most of the fire had already been extinguished.”

                “By who?” the ANBU member asked.

                A small smile tugged at the corner of the hokage’s lips. “The daughter of the household, Rei Natuski. She’s quite the kunoichi, you know. I’ve been keeping an eye on her lately. She’s rather interesting.”

                The ANBU boy blinked underneath his mask. His heart leapt into his throat. “How so, sir?”

                “She has a wild amount of potential, but in the strangest of places. Her sensei tells me she can barely remember her hand signs, and yet she can do some incredible things with chakra the likes of which have hardly ever been seen before except from one. Tell me, do you know the story of the Arrow Ninja of Konoha?” The ANBU boy thought for a moment, trying to recall the name. Before he could make a definitive decision, the hokage continued with the tale. “Years ago, this village saw the rise of a great young ninja. They called her the Arrow Ninja for her intelligent precision. She was gifted in weaponry and chakra control. She could do things with her chakra that most men had never seen before, charging and tethering and all sorts of other things. She went on to be an invaluable member of ANBU herself, but that was many, many years ago. She is older than even myself, retiring after the birth of her first child so that she could devote her life to him. She lives among us now as an ordinary woman with an extraordinary background that nobody knows about.”

                The ANBU member listened thoughtfully, trying to absorb all of this information and the many ways it could tie into what the hokage had called him here for. He had trouble focusing, however. All he could think about was Rei. When the hokage was finished and had dismissed him, the boy slipped into the nearest bathroom for a moment of privacy. His heart raced in his chest and his hands had grown clammy. He removed his mask and splashed water on his face, taking a moment to ponder at his reflection. He studied the mole on his chin, the way his white hair fell to one side, the scar across his eye and the sharingan hidden within it. He thought of the gangly little child he once knew who would sit on her front porch awaiting his return from the academy every single day. He heard her voice screaming his name as he walked away from her, tears streaming down her face. _Don’t you walk away from me, Kakashi! Kakashi!_

It haunted him. He couldn’t see straight. He splashed icy water on his face once again, trying to regain his composure. Then, sucking in a deep breath, he pulled the fabric back up over his nose, secured his ANBU mask on his face, and departed into the village as if nothing had happened.

                A trio of chunin greeted the guards at the front gates, an elderly woman beside them. “Welcome back” the guards said, paying special mind to Grandma Teiko. “How was your journey?”

                “I was sad to see my friend go, but fortunately we had no trouble getting there or back” she replied.

                “That’s good to hear” the other guard replied. “Unfortunately, there was a bit of an incident while you were gone…” he added nervously. He really didn’t want to be the one to break such awful news to her, especially within moments of her return, but it was better to tell her as soon as possible.

                “What kind of incident?” Teiko asked, cocking a brow in suspicion.  

                “Two invaders were caught attacking your home, setting it on fire with the presumed intention of killing everyone inside” the first guard explained. Grandma Teiko closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath as if she had already understood the circumstances, but she did not interrupt. “The criminals have since been detained and there were no casualties, ma’am. Just some minor burns and a case of chakra exhaustion.”

                “Chakra exhaustion?” Teiko asked. That was something she was not expecting to hear. “From who?”

                “The chunin, Rei Natsuki” the guard answered. The old woman sighed and rubbed her temples as the young man continued. “Rumor has it she was seen trying to extinguish the fire herself but collapsed and was taken to the hospital for rest and recovery.”

                The second guard scoffed, shaking his head. “People can come up with the craziest rumors” he laughed. Teiko eyed him suspiciously.

                “You’d be surprised” she replied, before bidding them all goodbye and shuffling down the lane. Yuruganai stood outside Kaminoki trying to negotiate with a rather blunt man, a cart of packages at his side. “Good morning, Yuruganai” Teiko greeted with a nod.

                “Mother?” he asked, blinking a few times. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

                “What’s the matter, son? You trying to get rid of me?” she jested.

                “No, not at all. Just surprised” he replied. Teiko rolled her eyes at him as she stepped inside the bookshop. Hana was at the counter, preoccupied with recreating the list of books they had ordered.

                “I heard we lost some things in a nasty fire” Teiko said, leaning against the counter. Hana yelped, eyes wide, as she looked upon her mother-in-law.

                “W-why yes, unfortunately” she replied, flustered.

                “Well, better to lose lowly paperwork than lives” the old woman commented. Hana nodded slowly, absently. “And where is my granddaughter? I hear she’s been the talk of the town these past few days.”

                “Sh-she’s upstairs, getting some rest” Hana replied. Teiko nodded and began her ascent, focused on meeting with Konoha’s rumored hero. She found Rei curled up a window seat in the shabby apartment upstairs, boxes of whatever few things were salvaged cluttering the room. Somehow, all of Teiko’s mysterious belongings survived. She dropped her suitcase and cleared her throat, capturing the kunoichi’s attention.

                “Grandma Teiko, you’re back!” she gasped, a grin spreading across her face. It felt like ages since she had left. Rei sucked in a deep breath as she tried to muster the energy to stand but Grandma Teiko shook her head in protest.

                “You park that little butt of yours right back on that seat, girl” Grandma Teiko demanded. She shuffled nearer and sat beside her granddaughter, a soft smile touching her lips. “I heard there was a little incident while I was gone” she started.

                “Why…yes, unfortunately” Rei said quietly, averting her eyes. “Whatever you’ve heard, it wasn’t my fault. I was only trying to help, but—”

                “But what?” Teiko interrupted. “You got everyone out safely. You saved your parents. You extinguished that fire. And you caught two very dangerous men who are now suffering for their crimes.” Rei looked up and blinked at her grandmother a few times in disbelief. How did she know? She chuckled softly, resting a gentle hand upon the girl’s tender shoulder. “You did good, Rei. I’m proud of you.”

                Tears welled up in the young ninja’s eyes, the first time anyone had ever expressed an ounce of gratitude for her work. She bit her lip and lunged herself into Teiko’s arms, burying her face in the crook of her neck. “Thank you, grandma. Thank you so much” she whispered.

                Teiko patted the girl’s back and held her tightly. She gazed out at the streets below, watching the passerby. Among them was a particularly interesting ANBU member, pausing only for a moment to gaze up at the bookstore’s second story. A soft smile touched the old woman’s lips. “Something tells me I’m not the only one whose proud of you.”  


	8. The Arrow Ninja of Konoha

                Morning sunlight glinted through the windows of the small home on the bank of Shizukana Lake. The time read 3:45am. A young woman, wild red hair tangled about her face, rolled out of her husband’s embrace to prepare for the day. She slipped into her uniform and strapped on her mask, immediately a different person. She grazed her husband’s shoulder, peered into her son’s bedroom, then took her leave. The hokage would be waiting for her. She couldn’t afford to be late.

                Among the black ops, she was Nariko, the gentle child. To everyone else, she was the Arrow Ninja of Konoha. Steadfast and strong, she was quick as lightning and could do incredible things with the chakra coursing through her body. She was feared and revered, a true treasure to the Leaf. She stepped foot inside the hokage’s office, bowing her head dutifully. He proposed her assignment, a trip to the Land of Rice Paddies to track down a missing-nin. The Arrow Ninja’s heart leapt into her throat. She agreed and quickly set off with her squad.

                As she raced alongside her comrades, her mind swirled. She thought of her childhood, of familiar faces and memories from long ago. She had been to the Land of Rice Paddies plenty of times before, most often cutting through on missions prior to the black ops. It was when she was a genin that she met him. He was tall and kind and he offered her his hand when she slipped and fell outside the restaurant. His name was Mairudo.

                She met him again as a chunin, and he was even taller now. His chest was a little broader, his jaw slightly squarer. She told him she was just passing through. He told her he would wait for her to return.

                She had met him one more time in her youth, now fleeting and fearful. He was so kind to her, speaking in soft tones and gentle touches. He knew only a certain version of her, however. The kunoichi from Konoha. The woman she was at home was far different, far less outspoken, far less available. Oku burned in her mind: her betrothed.

                It wasn’t that she did not love Oku. She did, in a sense. She loved the way the light glinted against his dark eyes, the roughness of his hands, his concentrated glare as he filed paperwork. He had inherited the family bookstore, a career he was very passionate about. He was very passionate about many other things, as well, including his disdain for shinobi. Mother and Father thought he would be good for her, a polite man with a prosperous business. She could quit this ninja nonsense, settle down, secure in their finances, and finally become the mother she was meant to be. But what of her own passion? What of her own agency? She was more than just a vessel for reproduction. She was a kunoichi, and a very valued one, at that. Handpicked by the hokage himself to join the ANBU Black Ops.

                Oku said he would abandon her if she accepted the offer, but Oku was never one to stick to his word. He lacked the gall to do anything other than speak shit. He had no power over her.

                Hence when she arrived in the Land of Rice Paddies that one day long ago, she clutched Mairudo’s hands and told him she feared she may never see him again. His heart ached, tears welling in his eyes. This quirky woman, the little girl from the Leaf, he had grown to love. He couldn’t stand to let her go, and yet he had no choice. He only knew one side of her. He only knew the version of her that belonged to himself. Unable to let himself fully lose her, he begged her to at least let him write her. They could be pen pals, they could correspond with one another about their daily lives. They didn’t need to be jarred away from one another completely. It was the least the kunoichi could agree to.

                In Konoha, she married dutifully and gave birth to a son. He was just like his father, pinched nose and sour eyes. She saw the legacy of the family business carried on in him. Oku demanded she quit her career in order to take care of the child, but the young woman refused. She had done her duty, she had satisfied her parents’ wishes, yet why did that require her to give up her own? No, she would stay in the black ops, she would work as a mother and a ninja. She would lead two lives, one of peril and promise, the other of mundane and motherhood.

                Meanwhile, Mairudo sought his own future. If he could not have his beautiful ninja, he would just have to settle on someone else. He married a young woman in the village whom he admittedly did not love as much, and together they had a son of their own. His name was Yasashi. He was a bright boy full of promise. The kunoichi remembered the day she received word of his birth, only a few years after that of her own, and she rejoiced for her dear friend though not without a touch of sadness. Deep down, she had longed to have her future with Mairudo. She longed to be his wife and mother his children. The implications of satisfying such, however, were fatal. She was indebted to the Leaf. She didn’t dare request leave, and escaping would be even worse. She would land on every wanted list in the village, tracked down by her own comrades and killed by their hand. It was no use. Mairudo was not her future. Oku was. But perhaps someday still, she could find a way around it.

                She thought deeply of Mairudo now, alongside her comrades in search of the missing-nin. She wondered how he was, if he and his family were doing well, and most importantly if she would see him. Their arrival in the Land of Rice Paddies struck her with so much fear and nostalgia. It had been years since she had returned. Her heart warmed at the familiar sights and sounds: the little restaurant on the corner, the chatter of passerby, the sweeping view.

                And then she saw him, her long lost lover, walking along with his groceries in one hand, a small boy gripping the other. Mairudo.

                She wanted to burst out and leap into his arms, to kiss his lips and his cheek and his neck, but such was unbecoming behavior for a ninja, let alone a member of the black ops. She was forbidden from showing any emotion whatsoever. All that mattered now was her career. And yet somehow, still, her heart yearned. Inside, she was screaming to let him know of her presence, to fulfill the sweet reunion she had begged for.

                That night, disguised as a peddler, she knocked on his door. She pulled back her hood to reveal her face, Mairudo’s eyes widening in pleasant surprise. He pulled her close and hugged her tightly, his hot breath against her neck, and she rested her head against his chest to hear his heartbeat. He introduced her to his son, told him that she was a very dear friend of his from long ago. Mairudo asked her what she was doing there, how she had managed to stop by, and why he hadn’t heard from her in so long. She pressed a finger to her lips, told her it was information she must not speak until they are truly alone.

                Yasashi took to the young woman almost immediately, raving of how he hoped to someday become a strong and honorable ninja. The woman never told him of her true profession, but encouraged his dreams profusely. He was the ideal son, the one she hoped her own would someday become, enthused by the promise of adventure and adrenaline rushes rather than accounting and algorithm. As they ate dinner, Nariko had realized that there was one place setting missing at the table. She asked Mairudo of his wife, suddenly very fearful she had intruded on another woman’s home and would take a fair beating for trying to stage some sort of affair. Mairudo quickly eased her worries, however, with the cold chill of truth: his wife had passed away many years before. Nariko sank back into her seat, looking to Yasashi. To think, her dear Mairudo, a widower, and his motherless son. Her heart broke for them.

                As the young boy grew tired, Nariko offered to put him to bed herself. She scooped him into her arms, tucked him in, told him fascinating stories about ninja and far-off places and daring feats. She brushed his hair from his face as he fell fast asleep, approaching Mairudo in the doorway. He was the ideal son, Yasashi. If only he was her own.

                Mairudo begged her to stay with them, to start her life anew. Yasashi needed a mother, someone who could care for him with a gentle touch and soft lips upon a forehead. The kunoichi’s heart ached. It was the perfect future, but it was not her own. In the quiet of the night, she told her lost lover everything: of her career, her husband, their son. The young man sensed an unhappiness within her for everything she had been given, and rightly so. She knew she was unhappy with her life, but what more could she do? She had no other options, or at least any that were legal. To leave would be to betray not only her family but her village, her comrades, her pride. There was nothing more that could be done.

                Knowing he would likely never see her again, Mairudo held her close and absorbed every moment he could with her until sunrise. He brushed the hair from her face, eyeing her lips, but she turned away before he could seal the deal. Kissing would make this far too complicated. Kissing would only make matters worse. The others would grow suspicious. She had already been out far too late. She needed to go. She hugged Mairudo one last time, told him to take good care of his son and to never doubt his dreams, and turned away. She refused to cry. It was unbecoming for a ninja, let alone a member of the black ops. But then again, the ANBU wore masks for a reason.

                She and her squad completed their mission and returned home safely, but the young kunoichi still felt unresolved. She glanced around her village, at the familiar places and faces. She thought of Mairudo and Yasashi, of Oku and her own son. Two binaries, two families for the two different sides of her life. She thought of Mairudo’s wife, of how she may have died, of the boy growing up without his mother. She could be his mother, if she really wanted to be, but in doing so she would deprive her own flesh and blood of the same privilege. And yet…was she already doing so? Was she an absent figure simply because of her career? She thought she could balance both facets, but now she was not so sure.

                She returned home physically and emotionally exhausted. Oku was at his desk just as she expected, filing paperwork, barely attentive enough to bid her a hello. And her son was sitting on the floor with his picture books and technicolor blocks. She hated how much he loved those damn books. How could he ever live a fulfilling life just reading about things rather than actually doing them? If only he had the drive that Yasashi had. Then she quickly scolded herself and willed away the thought. What a terrible mother she was, comparing her own child to that of another man. She sat on the floor beside him, tried to drum up a conversation about what she had missed only for her to son to drone on about business. It wasn’t until he had asked her a question that she realized at some point she had stopped listening, and quickly had to toss him a bullshit reply. He really was his father’s son, there was no doubt about that. As she stared back at him, however, she realized there were other things she had never noticed about him before. Yes, he had his father’s sour eyes and pinched nose but he also had her full lips, her brilliant complexion, and certainly her temper. After all this time, perhaps he was her son, too, not in the genealogical sense so much as in personality and connection. And he seemed taller, fuller, older. When did he learn about profit margins and book-binding practices? When did he lose that front tooth? A stark realization suddenly hit her: she had been so focused on managing her career and all that came with it that she had been neglecting her own family. There was no balance. She was missing out on her son’s life. Worse than Yasashi’s mother, she was doing this voluntarily.

                A few days passed and this was all she could think about. It kept her awake at night, terrified her. She looked to Oku’s sleeping form beside her, wondering if he resented her and if so, then how much? She looked to the unopened letter on the table, surely from Mairudo begging her to return to him. She looked out the window to the rural streets in Konoha, the lake behind their home, the tiny house next door where a young boy of promise lived. In those moments, she felt something strange she had never truly realized: a strange peace, a belonging. Her career was disposable. One bad injury and she would be out of commission. She could be displaced in the blink of an eye. And without that metal plated headband, then what was she? A week ago, she would’ve said she didn’t know, that she would be nothing. Now, however, she knew the answer. She was a wife, a mother, a neighbor, a friend. She had a life beyond the black ops, beyond that headband she had received so many years ago. It was then that she made her decision: she could not avoid her life any longer.

                The hokage was heartbroken to hear of her decision, begging her to stay, saying she was an invaluable member of their village’s elite forces. The kunoichi thanked him but insisted she could not continue her work. She had a duty far greater than any the hokage could assign to her, and that was her family. Even if Oku was an imperfect husband. Even if her son did not share the same passion for Konoha’s finest like she did. They were still her flesh and blood and she still deserved to give them her best and care for them the way she was obligated to.

                In the following years, her son grew into an intelligent young man who even once pursued the shinobi lifestyle himself. He found a lifelong friend in their neighbor, the prodigal boy who went on to become a revered ninja in the village. Her husband eventually passed, her son inherited the bookstore and married a kind young woman who soon after bore a daughter. Upon her birth, Nariko couldn’t help but gasp at the little infant. She was the spitting image of herself in her youth: wild red hair, brilliant complexion, wide eyes yearning for adventure. She saw so much promise in that little baby, and so much love flooded from her heart. She couldn’t wait to watch her grow into someone incredible, sensing a preference toward the shinobi lifestyle in her from the very start.

                The village changed around her as she grew older, people coming and going and growing, but the one thing that she could always count on were the sweet correspondences from her dear Mairudo. He wrote her about the Land of Rice Paddies, about Yasashi and how he had grown. He had fulfilled his dream of becoming a ninja, married, and had two sons now, Shingo and Shuncho. And as for Mairudo, he never stopped loving his redheaded kunoichi even now when she was wrinkly and gray.

                Mairudo’s letters came regularly until one day, there was a hiccup. She had received a message on an off day, frantically scribbled. The Land of Rice Paddies was changing. Something was off. Their daimyo had grown rather greedy, Yasashi was becoming distant, and the villagers were panicked and torn. Something wasn’t right. And then one day, the messages stopped. Mairudo ceased writing for days, weeks, months. And when the kunoichi’s sister in law called for her one day with a grave expression, the wise old woman knew the case in an instant. Mairudo was gone, and there was nothing she could do about it. A squad of promising young chunin accompanied her on her journey, a bittersweet trip to the past. So much had changed over the years, the Land of Rice Paddies now scarcely recognizable to her in her old age. Even the restaurant where she and Mairudo had met was gone. The funeral was quaint, simple, just what she would expect for Mairudo. In his casket, he looked so old and yet she could still recognize his kind face, his soft hands, his sweet lips. She kissed his forehead once and then turned away. Neither Yasashi nor his two sons were in attendance.

                As she returned home, she gazed up to the sky overhead. She wondered if her beloved was up there watching over her, thanking her for visiting him one last time. She could hear his voice in her mind, feel his arms around her and his lips brush against her cheek. She thought of what could’ve been, the future she could have had, but it was not to be. The gates of Konoha were her homecoming. This was where she belonged. To the older generations, she was The Arrow Ninja of Konoha. To the black ops, she was known as Nariko. Both those names had since faded, packed away in sealed boxes to collect dust until rediscovered long after her death. Now she was merely a wife, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, though she would always hold a special place in her heart for that historic figure, the hidden past, of the Arrow Ninja of Konoha.


	9. An Honorable Proposal

Rei clenched her fists at her side, walking with great purpose towards the hokage’s headquarters. This shouldn’t have been anything extraordinary. It wasn’t the first time the hokage had summoned her. And yet somehow this time felt different. There was something brooding and sinister about the tone of this meeting. Something strange afoot.

Sucking in a deep breath, she knocked. “Come in” a voice called. She slowly creaked the door open, meeting Hiruzen Sarutobi’s eyes as he watched her step slowly inside.

“You called for me, Lord Hokage?” she asked. Her entire body was tense. She looked around the room as she inched closer to the desk, finding a familiar face standing beside the young man in charge. Her dark, messy hair was pulled back into a twisting braid falling down her back, her bust so large she couldn’t even zip her vest. Chikara-sensei. What was going on?

The third hokage nodded, a comforting smile touching his lips. He could tell she was nervous, but there was nothing for her to be afraid of. He wasn’t here to chastise her, to tell her she was a bad ninja and should just give up and go home. Quite the opposite, actually. “I’ve been looking over your records” he began, taking a drag from his pipe, “And I have to say, Rei, I’m rather impressed.”

“Thank you, sir” Rei nodded politely. Her heart was on the verge of leaping from her chest. She just wished he’d get to the point already. Stop beating around the bush. No use in prolonging this any further. If she was fired, then just tell her so already, dammit.

“So impressed, in fact” he continued, “that I’ve been considering promoting you.”

“A-A promotion…?” she stammered. She was already a jonin. There was only one more level to advance to, but…no, impossible. That was not what this was about. She tightened her fists, her nails digging into her palms, and swallowed hard.

Hiruzen nodded. “I would like you to join the ANBU Black Ops. You would take direct orders from me, working to protect this village with as much passion as I’ve seen you exhibit in the past.”

_Boom_. There it was. The one thing she had feared and prayed for the most. The highest rank she could ever achieve besides hokage—not that there had ever been a female hokage in the first place, nor would she ever be strong enough to reach such a rank. Rei blinked a few times, trying to digest what she had just heard. She did hear him correctly, didn’t she? “Y-you…you what?” she asked. Her eyes darted to Chikara, her head down and arms crossed as she leaned against the wall. Perhaps her sensei could give her some clarification. Her presence alone was suspicious enough.

“Your records have impressed me, Rei. I think you would excel in ANBU. I genuinely believe you have what it takes” Hiruzen explained. Rei looked back to Chikara for validation, but the woman only glanced up and nodded once.

“A-are you sure…?” Rei asked. This couldn’t possibly be happening. No, she was just in a dream. She was sure of it. There was no way this was real.

“You heard the man” Chikara finally spoke. “You’ve got guts, kid. You’ve made it. You’re in.”

This was so much information to process at once, Rei suddenly was certain she was about to pass out. Hiruzen flashed that reassuring smile again before adding, “Unless you don’t want to. Ultimately, the decision is yours. We would love to see you move up in the ranks but only if you feel prepared for it. We don’t want you to accept this position if you fear you might not be ready for it.”

Rei nodded slowly. ANBU was an amazing accomplishment, a true testament to her hard work. She only wished this was something she could shove in the faces of those who ever doubted her, but ANBU was anonymous work. She would have to sacrifice everything. Was she really prepared to give up her entire life for her career? It was a hefty request. “How long do I have to think about it?” she asked after a few moments of silence.

“Take as long as you need, but I would like a definite answer as soon as possible” the hokage replied. She nodded once, quietly thanking him, before departing. She could feel his and Chikara’s eyes on her as she slipped out of the door and down the hallway.

“I hope she takes the damn offer” Chikara murmured, shaking her head.

Hiruzen took another drag from his pipe and nodded. “I do, too.”

Rei walked through the village in a daze, her mind swirling with calculations and contemplations. She thought of her family, of her mother and father and Grandma Teiko. What would they think? How would they react to such news? She already knew. But to think: would she ever even be able to see them again? Would she ever be able to show her bare face in the village again? She paused in the middle of the street, closing her eyes and tilting her head back to absorb the sun’s heat on her skin. What if she never felt this again?

She procrastinated returning home for fear of what may await her. She strolled through the bustling streets, watching the faces of strangers pass her by. She even perused the more rural areas of the village, stopping before what once was her old home. Charred, ashen, barely even a structure anymore. Her eyes then drifted to the house next door, a mere shack after so many years of disrepair. The sight of it then brought on another pressing point of contention: Kakashi.

Scenes from her youth flickered through her mind as she stared at the patchy lawn, the chipping paint, a palace of tragedy. It had been seven years since Kakashi had joined ANBU, and ages since she had last seen him herself. Of course he would stop into the bookstore every so often, but those visits had since grown few and far between. She knew what would happen if she accepted this offer, though: she was going to have to face him. There was no way around it. A tingling sensation rose in her chest, an outrageous excitement at the prospect of proving herself. All those times he had told her she would never make it, that she was far too tiny and weak, and yet there she would stand strong and proud before him donning the same elite mark that he wore. But then again, the thought of seeing him after so many years? She wasn’t sure if she could bear it. Kakashi was the past. The wounds still hurt, yes, but she was over it. They had scabbed over and scarred. He was no longer an important fixture in her life anymore. Or at least those were the lies she told herself.

The closer she came to their little apartment above the store, the larger the lump in her throat grew. She wasn’t even sure she wanted to see Grandma Teiko, which surprised even herself. There was just too much anxiety about how her family may react, what they may think. She wasn’t sure she could bear it.

The moment she entered Kaminoki, her mother’s eyes landed on her like a hawk. Something was wrong, she just knew it. It was a mother’s intuition. Hana glided across the floor and rested her hands upon her daughter’s shoulders. “Rei, sweetheart, what’s the matter?” she asked. Rei couldn’t meet her eyes. She shook her head, mumbling she was fine, and barreled upstairs to hide away and compose herself.

She could feel her father’s eyes burning holes into her flesh at the dinner table, suspicious of what may be going on. Hana had told her husband upon his return from their supplier that something was off with the girl, and Yuruganai would be damned if he wasn’t going to weed it out of her. Grandma Teiko, on the other hand, was another story. She was patient and kind, she could tell whatever was bothering her granddaughter must be something she knew would bring her parents’ great distress and shame, as was often the source of their arguing. Taking a bite of her food, she gazed upon the young woman fondly and asked “So, Rei, what did you do today?”

“Uh, you know…a little of this, a little of that” she replied casually, forcing a smile on her face. Cool and collected. She just needed to appear cool and collected. Teiko raised a brow, trying not to laugh. Rei was never that great of a liar. “Whatever I did isn’t really that important, though. What about you guys? How was your day? Good business at the shop?” she then asked, deflecting the conversation from herself.

“We lost a very valuable customer today” Yuruganai replied blankly, focused on his plate. “Ought to drop our monthly income by a quarter of a percent.”

“Oh…” Rei said quietly. “Well, I mean, a quarter of a percent isn’t _that_ bad…”

Yuruganai shot her a look of disdain and frustration. “If only you had studied things that really mattered, then you would know what a quarter of a percent means in business” he snapped. Rei huffed her hair out of her face and took a bite of her food. So he was already in a sour mood then.

Grandma Teiko chuckled and shook her head. “Yuri, you are always so negative. You’ll make up the difference somehow” she replied. The young man would’ve snapped if it was anyone but his own mother, but Teiko was not one to test. He knew the repercussions that would arise if he argued with her.

Hana sighed and hesitated a moment, looking as if she was itching to say something. She glanced to her husband with great uncertainty, then to Teiko’s kind face, before finally speaking. “You know, I was speaking with Inoguchi Yamanaka today at the flower shop” she said slowly, methodically. Inoguchi was a dear friend of Hana’s, her maternal cousin. Teiko turned her eyes to the woman, urging her to continue speaking. “She said she saw you walking towards the hokage’s office this morning, is that right?” she said, turning to Rei.

The young kunoichi nearly choked on her food, guzzling down almost all of her water to keep herself from choking. Damn Inoguchi. She never did like that woman much, the freaking snoop. Yuruganai glanced up to his daughter with a grunt. “W-well, uh, yeah, I mean…” she stammered.

“Is that so?” her father asked. Rei’s eyes landed on his clenched fist beside his plate, smiling nervously.

“It wasn’t like it was a big deal or anything, I mean, the hokage calls for ninja all the time” Rei explained coolly.

“Did you get another mission, dear?” Hana asked. Rei could sense the undercurrents of anxiety in her voice, not really wanting to know but asking out of courtesy anyway. The day her daughter stops this ninja business would be the day she stopped having heart palpitations and cold sweats, she was sure of it.

Rei toyed with her chopsticks, replying with a practiced, “Yeah, I got another offer but I don’t know if I’m gonna take it this time.”

“What do you mean you don’t know if you want to take it?” Hana asked, slightly hopeful.

“Eh, I don’t know” Rei said nervously. “It’s a pretty dangerous mission and there’s a lot to consider before I make my final decision but I mean, it’s really not that big of a deal.”

Yuruganai rolled his eyes. “If it’s so insignificant, then why are you so anxious?” he asked, locking his eyes on her. She hated when he did that. It was as if he could stare straight into her soul. There was no getting away with lies while locked in that gaze.

Rei opened her mouth to speak but fortunately was saved by that blessed angel, Grandma Teiko. “Yuruganai, please show a little compassion. Any mission can be wildly dangerous, and I think it’s only natural for Rei to show a little apprehension here, even if her ninja training has taught her to cloud her emotions and appear calm and confident.”

The old man scoffed once more. “You’d think she wouldn’t be so freaked out if she’s been doing this for so many years” he replied, almost as if she wasn’t even there. She wondered if this was the way he spoke about her in her absence, condescending and cruel. She wondered if he held back when he was in front of her, if the things he said to others were even more sharp and scorching.

“Maybe this is truly a sign that you shouldn’t be doing this anymore, sweetheart” Hana replied, resting a hand atop her daughter’s. “This can’t be good for your mental health.” Rei slid her hand out from underneath her mother’s tender touch, shaking her head. At least when she was assigned to missions, she could get away from all of this. And if she joined ANBU, she would be able to move out permanently. Accepting that offer was looking more and more appealing every minute.

“I don’t think this is necessarily a sign that she should quit” Teiko chimed in. “If anything, I think this is a sign that she should keep going.”

“What do you mean ‘keep going’? Teiko, I don’t think—” Hana protested, but the old woman rose a hand to halt her.

“Clearly Rei has been building quite a repertoire for herself here in the village. She has been deployed many times on some rather dangerous missions, and the more serious the assignment, the more they must trust her. This mission clearly is something rather important, and therefore that means the hokage and the council must have a lot of faith in her ability. If you ask me, there’s no point in giving something up right in the middle of a great streak of progress” Teiko explained.

A wave of relief washed over Rei’s anxious little body. She knew she could always count on Grandma Teiko to swoop in and rescue her from her parents’ wrathful criticisms. The old woman looked upon her granddaughter kindly with a knowing glimmer in her eye as if she had eavesdropped on the very conversation itself and already knew everything. Perhaps she had. Rei didn’t seem to question Grandma Teiko’s seemingly psychic abilities—she just always knew.  

Hana sighed, her hands shaking at her sides. “Well, are you able to tell us what kind of mission this is? Where you’re going? What you’re to do?” she asked. She knew the work of a ninja was not always appropriate dinner table conversation, if appropriate conversation at all, but any information her daughter could share with them she was grateful for. If her baby girl had to go off and risk her life, she at least liked to know the who, what, where, and when of the case. It gave her a sense of security, almost, even though there was clearly nothing she could do about it.  

Rei sucked in a deep breath, her moment of peace fleeting. How would she lie about this? There was no way she could flat out say she was joining the ANBU, could she? No, her parents would have a fit. She chewed on the end of her chopstick and replied slowly, “Well, it’s kind of a top secret mission…it’s very serious. Not the kind of thing you really share with the world, you know?”

Yuruganai scoffed again. “What are you doing? Escorting some diplomat?”

“In a way, I guess you could say that…” Rei said, “Though it’s not escorting so much as…protecting.”

“Can we ask who you’re protecting, or is that too much information?” Hana asked.

This was dangerous territory they were lurking into here. Rei couldn’t stand to look any of them in the eyes. “I guess I could hint at who, in that it’s someone of considerable political power…here in the village.”

“Oh?” Hana exclaimed. “I wonder who it could be!”

Teiko chuckled softly. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say it was the hokage himself!”

Rei’s back shot ramrod straight, her eyes widening. Damn, how did the old woman guess it? She glanced to her mother and father, who seemed rather unsuspecting at least for the moment. Yuruganai pushed his food around on his plate before taking another violent bite and laughing as if the thought that had just occurred to him was as plausible as if yokai themselves were invading the village. “That’s ridiculous, mother. The only ninja in the village who are assigned to protect the hokage are the ANBU black ops.”

The room suddenly fell silent as no one joined in his incredulous laughter. Rei refused to look anyone in the eyes, squeezing her chopsticks tight in her hand. Her mother shook her head with a smile, a silent agreement that that was a ridiculous notion, until her eyes fell upon her daughter looking shameful and scared. Her expression quickly fell to fear and panic, raising her hand to her lips with a minute gasp. “Rei, sweetheart, you don’t mean to say…”

Yuruganai no longer laughed. There was a crazed look in his eyes, his teeth clenched and fists tight on the table. “You cannot be serious!”

This was exactly what she was afraid of: mother a hysterical mess, father a raging lunatic. She buried her face in her hands to try and shield herself from their harsh words. “I never said I was going to go through with it!” she shouted.

“But you’re thinking about it, aren’t you?” her father shouted back, rising from his seat. “Unbelievable!”

“What, do you not think I have what it takes?” Rei asked back, her fire beginning to spark again inside of her chest.

“I know you don’t have what it takes” Yuruganai rebuked. Rei rolled her eyes, crossing her arms defiantly.

“What makes you think you know what I am and am not capable of, anyways?” Rei shouted back. “It’s not like you’ve ever cared to see what I can really do.”

“Is that a challenge?” Yuruganai asked.

“If you’re asking for one!” Rei shouted, standing and placing her hands firmly on the table. “It’s really against my nindo to fight an unarmed man but I can make exceptions.”

“Both of you, please, stop this!” Hana begged.

“You stay out of this!” Yuruganai shouted.

Teiko now rose from her seat, placing one hand on each of their shoulders and staring at them sternly. “Hana is right, both of you calm down.” Yuruganai didn’t dare protest his mother, rolling his eyes and sitting back down with a huff. Rei did the same. The old woman then pressed her hands together as a sign of tranquility and closed her eyes. “There is no use getting so worked up about this. If Rei decides joining the black ops is what she wants to do, then we have no right to stop her.”

“But we’re her parents!” Hana argued, tears brimming at her eyes.

“I am well aware, dear” Teiko said softly. “But Rei is a grown woman. She can make her own decisions. I think rather than fight on the matter, we should instead celebrate this wonderful accomplishment our dear little girl has achieved. It is not every day one of our own is elected to join the elite.”

Yuruganai crossed his arms and shook his head. “This isn’t an accomplishment, this is a suicide mission. If you want to go out and kill yourself then be my guest, but don’t expect to find a home here anymore” he spat. Rei’s heart sank at his words, as if he was saying he would feel nothing should she die in the line of duty. She swallowed back tears, forcing herself to keep her composure.

“Well, then so be it” she replied, rising from her seat. “I can find elsewhere to live, that’s not a problem. I just sure as hell hope you’ll miss me when I’m gone for good.” Hana yelped in pain, reaching for her daughter’s hand but Rei refused to give her the satisfaction. Instead, she shot a sad yet grateful glance to her grandmother before leaving the room.

“Rei, please don’t do this!” Hana screamed, tears rolling down her cheeks. She slammed her shaking fist on the table and buried her face in her hands, crumpling in her seat.

“I hope you’re happy, Rei! I hope you’re proud of what you’ve done!” Yuruganai shouted after her. He would’ve chased after her, too, had it not been for Grandma Teiko resting a hand on his shoulder to halt him.

“Leave the girl be, Yuri. She is free to make her own choices.”

Rei dashed into her bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her, pacing to try and blow off some steam. She squeezed her arms tight around her stomach as if the compression would will away her pain but instead it only managed the squeeze the tears out of her. She slammed her fist against the wall in frustration, falling backward onto the bed. To think, after so many years, this might possibly be her very last night in this bedroom, in this house, in this freedom of identity. Her fingers grazed her shoulder where in a few days, they would etch that swirling mark into her skin, a permanent symbol of her dedication to the Leaf Village. Nothing would ever be the same again.

Deep down, she wasn’t even sure if she still really wanted to do this. It seemed as if everyone else had already made the decision for her, but what about herself? Wasn’t her opinion the only one that really mattered? What did she want to do? Her head spun with the pros and cons of her situation. It was too much, she couldn’t think. Maybe she was just better off quitting altogether, falling prey to her parents’ desires. Find a man with money, get married and pop out some kids, take over the bookstore. A mundane life. The life her parents begged her to take. _Not everyone can be a ninja_ , they’d say. _Someone has to do the boring jobs to keep Konoha running. The service providers—grocers, librarians, mechanics—are all just as important if not more so._ But that didn’t make her happy, did it? No, it most certainly did not. She wanted action and adventure, combat and travel and excitement. She wanted to be a ninja. She wanted to serve a greater purpose. She wanted to prove that she was capable and strong, especially in the face of all her doubters. If only she was certain whether or not this was taking the dream too far.

A knock at the door stirred her from her thoughts. With a groan, Rei covered her eyes with her forearm and called, “I’ll be gone by the morning, I promise, and then you’ll never have to see me ever again.”

“What a pity. Not even a goodbye first?” a creaking old voice called in reply and Rei was instantly bathed in relief. She leapt up and opened the door, ushering Grandma Teiko inside. “I don’t blame you for wanting to book it out of here. If I had the chance, I’d rush out of this nut house as fast as possible, too. But if you must leave, I’d sure as hell hope you’d give our dear granny one last goodbye first.”

“I’d never forget something like that, Grandma Teiko” she replied. “That is, if I even go.”

“What’s this? You doubt the hokage’s faith in you?” she asked. Rei shook her head, motioning for the old woman to sit. She did so, and Rei sat beside her on the edge of the bed.

“It’s not that. It’s just…I don’t know, how am I supposed to know whether I’m really cut out for this? What if I’m taking things too far?” she asked. “All my life, all I’ve ever cared about is proving my worth and this would certainly do the trick, but what if this isn’t what I’m meant to be doing in the first place? What if I’ve lived my life all wrong up until this point, and taking this chance would be the biggest mistake of my life?”

“Do you feel unsatisfied with how far you’ve come already?” Grandma Teiko asked. Rei slowly shook her head. “I know you haven’t had the easiest time in this profession, kid, but ninja work is not an easy job.”

“Yeah, well it would be a whole hell of a lot easier if people actually appreciated what I do” Rei sighed.

“Don’t you take your father’s words to heart, dear. I may have dropped him on his head a few times as a baby” Teiko jested. Rei laughed, but it was soft and sad. She was going to miss these moments.

“How am I supposed to know if I’m ready for this? What if I can’t handle what they ask of me?” Rei asked.

“Well, you’ve done a pretty good job of it so far” Teiko replied. “But something tells me this isn’t just about the work involved, is it?” she added, eyeing her granddaughter suspiciously. The corner of her mouth curled up into a sneaky smile.

“What? No, that’s not…well, maybe…I just…” Rei stammered before falling back on the bed with a groan. “It’s complicated.”

“This is about Kakashi, isn’t it?” she asked, smiling down at her granddaughter. Rei’s cheeks burned bright red at the mere mention of his name, silently answering the old woman’s question. “I know how you feel about him, Rei. I may be senile but I’m not stupid. What is it that you’re so afraid of, hmm?”

Something told Rei that the old woman already knew the answer, but wanted to hear the girl admit it anyways. Brushing her hair out of her face, the kunoichi replied, “I don’t know. There’s just a lot of baggage there, you know? He betrayed me, Grandma. He said he’d always be there but then he broke that promise. I haven’t seen him in so long and just…knowing that I’ll have to face him if I take this job, it’s terrifying.”

“Don’t let the past define your future, girl” Teiko reminded her, tapping her sweetly on the tip of the nose. “I know your feelings for Kakashi make you apprehensive but don’t let that be what stops you from doing what you want in life. So what if you have to see him and work with him? He’s just another person to you now, dear. If something comes of it, then so be it, but don’t let what he has done in the past keep you from reaching for the future. Everything will work out as it should all in due time.”

The wise old woman smiled down upon her kindly and in the moonlight, it was evident just how old her grandmother really was. Her wrinkles seemed deeper, her eyes narrower, her hair a shining silver. How much longer would she be around? How much longer would Rei have the fortune of her affectionate wisdom? She didn’t want to humor the thoughts.

“It still scares me” Rei commented quietly. “What the hell is he going to say or do when he walks into that office for a mission only to find me on his squad? That gangly redhead kid he stupidly swore to protect? I mean, he’d probably feel dishonored as hell face to face with a broken promise. Especially seeing how far I’ve come. I bet he’d fear me. I bet I could kick his ass.”

Teiko chuckled. “That’s the spirit, girl. I know how you feel, but try not to act quite so rash. Things aren’t always what they seem, you know” she said with a twinkle in her eye. Rei wondered what kinds of things she knew, what kinds of secrets she may be hiding, but before she could ask, the old woman rose slowly and patted her granddaughter on the shoulder. “I ought to let you get some rest and pack up. Just promise me one thing, will you?”

“What is it?” Rei asked. Her heart leapt into her chest, terrified of the impending request.

“Don’t forget to visit often” Teiko replied, brushing the girl’s bangs out of her face to kiss her forehead.

“But how am I supposed to do that? I thought joining the ANBU meant cutting all ties with family, never seeing you guys again, basically giving up my entire life as I know it?” Rei asked.

“Oh, nonsense!” Teiko shook her head. “Trust me, kid, I’ve been around a long time. You don’t have to give up everything for the black ops. So long as you separate one life from the other, you can still come back to visit whenever you feel you need to. At least for me, anyways!”

Rei sat up and smiled softly, tears threatening to spill again. She wiped them away quickly, not wanting Teiko to see her cry. “Of course. I’ll visit you as often as I can, I promise.”

“There’s a good girl” Teiko said, nodding once before turning back into the hall. God, was Rei going to miss her, even if this wasn’t goodbye forever. She curled up in bed that night after packing her most precious belongings and just stared out the window, thinking of the past and the future and everything in between. She thought of moonlit nights catching fireflies as a child, splashing in the lake with her best friend, the way he’d run up behind her and wrap his arms around her tightly. The nitsuke dishes he’d make her whenever she decided to stay late, and the board games they’d play on the living room floor. The times he would stop into the bookshop, perusing the shelves only to buy something meaningless he probably wouldn’t even really read. When she closed her eyes, she’d see his face just as she remembered him from her youth: black eyes, spiky white hair, that mask always covering his nose and mouth. She wondered how many others had the privilege of seeing what was underneath. She was probably one of the only ones. She wondered if he looked quite the same, or if he was unrecognizable in his adulthood. She was sure his hair would give it away—she doubted it had grown tame over the years. Two children danced through her dreams, the son of the White Fang and his gangly little girl friend. Laughter and chaos and playing pretend. If she let herself go completely, she could drown in the memories of it so much so that she questioned if it was really just a dream. It had been so long.

Come sunrise, she forced herself out of bed—the earliest she had ever awoken, she was sure of it—and gathered her things. She bid one last look to her bedroom, running her finger along the desk where she’d do homework and draw up maps and charts and stupid little doodles, and the now empty bookshelves that once housed murder mysteries and instructional manuals and teen novels about girls with strange names and extraordinarily ordinary lives. She crept down the hallway, not wanting to wake anyone for fear of her father growing angry or her mother hysterical. She’d wrap her arms around her little girl and beg her to at least stay for breakfast, that it was the most important meal of the day and she didn’t dare skip it. Anything to prolong her baby’s departure. But no, the only one she really cared about seeing was Grandma Teiko. She rapped lightly on the woman’s door, but there was no answer. Rei was running out of time. She needed to get to the hokage first thing in the morning lest he grow too busy for her with his usual duties. After another ten minutes of knocking with no reply, she creaked the door open ever so slightly to find the room empty and silent. Grandma Teiko was nowhere to be found. A rush of panic surged through Rei’s body, terrified that wherever she was, she wouldn’t return quick enough to see the kunoichi off. Or maybe something terrible happened and she would never see her again. Her mind raced with outlandish thoughts, but she knew more than anything that she really needed to go. Sucking in a deep breath, she accepted that maybe she really wouldn’t be able to bid one last goodbye to the old woman and trudged down the stairs in defeat. However, a rummaging in the bookstore below immediately sent shivers down her spine. The bookstore wasn’t set to open for another few hours, the only people who could possibly be inside were burglars. She pulled the kunai from her side and sucked in a deep breath, ready to attack only to find a hunched figure rummaging through boxes behind the counter.

“Grandma Teiko?” Rei asked quietly. The old woman popped her head up and smoothed her hair down, chuckling awkwardly.

“I didn’t expect to see you up so early!” she said.

“Well, I did say I’d be gone by morning” Rei replied. “Besides, when it’s something this important, it’s worth waking up early for.”

“Well, I just hope you actually got some sleep” Teiko chuckled. She knew her granddaughter too well, referencing those sticky summer nights reading until sunrise, when Rei would trudge into the kitchen for breakfast like a zombie fresh from his grave. Rei doubted she’d have that brand of luxury anymore. From now on, her life would focus solely on work.

Teiko hugged her granddaughter and pulled a small parcel from behind the counter for her, telling her not to open it until she gets settled in in her new apartment across town. Rei thanked the old woman for her generosity, fighting tears once again, as she said her final goodbyes and then left the Kaminoki Bookshop for good. Carting her box of belongings, she felt the coming of a great change sweep over her. She reveled in the warmth of the sun on her bare cheeks, baking her arms and legs. Shop owners splashed water across their storefronts as a welcoming sign. Children were just waking, half consciously eating their cereal and their eggs to prepare for a day of training at the academy. It had felt like so long ago when she was one of them, and now here she was about to join the black ops. Time had passed so slow and yet somehow so fast.

She knocked on the door with her elbow, the hokage ushering her inside. A look of satisfaction crossed his face seeing her cart her box in with her, already gaining an idea of her explanation. She set her belongings down before sucking in a deep breath and straightening her back. “Lord Hokage, I have thought long and hard about your proposal from yesterday and I am pleased to announce I have finally made my decision. From this point forward, I, Rei Natsuki of the Hidden Leaf, shall be the newest member of the ANBU black ops.”


	10. Aisuru

Rei sat her belongings down in the corner of the room. The dormitories were so small, so bare, so dark. This was her home now. This was her life now. She approached the window slowly, carefully, peering out to the world below. Bathed in the sunset, from up there Konoha looked different. She was no longer a part of it anymore, but rather an external force of protection and anonymity. A blank face in a crowd of thousands. She thought of her mother and father, of Grandma Teiko. A tinge of pain struck her heart. What if she never saw them again? Her mother was probably devastated. Her father undoubtedly did not care. But Grandma Teiko…if nothing else, she would genuinely miss Grandma Teiko.

                She thought of the small parcel the old woman had given her just as she left that morning. She said for her not to open it until she was settled into her new place. Rei looked around the empty room. She couldn’t quite say she was _settled_ , per se, but she was there and this was probably the coziest it was going to get. She crept back across the floor to her small stack of boxes, her backpack lumped beside them. She reached inside the front pocket and carefully took the parcel in her hands. It was barely bigger than her palm, and she wondered what kind of gift could possibly be inside of it. If it was delicate, she may have already broken it on the trip. There were only so many things it could be. The anticipation was killing her, but she was terrified of what she may find inside. Being from Grandma Teiko, it had to be outrageously special. She needed to take care with it, treat it like a precious artifact like it deserved. She knew it was only respectable to wait until the perfect moment to open it, but Rei was unsure her anxiety would give her that luxury. She sucked in a deep breath, fingers itching to unwrap the gift, until a knock at the door startled her back to reality and she quickly tucked away the box. 

                Leaping to her feet, she rushed to the door to find an anonymous ANBU member standing before her. Tufts of brown hair poked out from behind his mask. Rei knew his purpose in an instant, no exchange of words necessary. She nodded once and replied, “I’m ready.”

                The ANBU headquarters were dark and mysterious, bolted doors and passcodes. Rei followed close behind her escort as he ushered her inside. “The first thing you’ll get is your tattoo. I hope you’re not afraid of needles” the masked man said, a hint of sarcasm in his blunt, even voice.

                “Me? Afraid of needles?” Rei scoffed. “I’m not afraid of anything.” That was a lie, but she hoped he would buy it. She was afraid of lots of things, including this, but she couldn’t let an ounce of fear show. She was an ANBU now. She could not afford to be vulnerable.

                The man ceased to reply, guiding her down a dark hallway toward an iron door with a neon sign overhead. He knocked and the door swung open, another masked man sitting cross-legged on the floor. A wash basin sat in the corner, a mat on the floor, a tray of ink before him. “Take your shirt off and lay on the mat” he commanded. Rei didn’t dare refuse. The door slammed shut behind her. As she slipped out of her top, she was suddenly hyperaware of every little flaw in her body. Goosebumps rose on her arms. She slowly laid down.

                The floor was hard and cold through the thin mat and she tried her best to ignore the lumpy filling and questionable stains. The ninja washed his hands, slipped on a pair of gloves, and then wordlessly began sterilizing her flesh. Rei stared down at the blank space on her skin, her stomach rising into her throat. None of this felt real, and she was suddenly very afraid she was going to vomit right then and there. Once this tattoo was on her body, there was no turning back. She was part of the black ops. That identifying mark would stay on her skin forever.

                Before she could even think of backing out, however, the procedure began. The man pressed one hand to her skin, the other holding a long bamboo stick. The sharpened tip pierced her flesh as if she was linen in a sewing machine. A gasp escaped her lips, gripping the mat and biting her lower lip. Drops of blood began to surface wherever he poked her. This was it. This was happening.

                “Don’t move” the man barked, eyeing her through his mask. Rei shut her eyes and muttered a halfhearted sorry. Her heart raced in her chest and the room spun. Soon the piercing itself didn’t hurt so much anymore. Her arm had actually gone quite numb. Now it was her anxiety that was the trouble. What had she gotten herself into? She thought of her mother’s desperation, her father’s disdain, her grandmother’s support, and above all she thought of Kakashi. She imagined him, barely a man, laying where she was now. He probably didn’t wince. He probably felt nothing. She wondered how much he had grown since the last time she saw him, how much he had changed. If he still thought about her, cared about her, if he had heard she was the fresh meat and thought the hokage had made a mistake. The longer she thought about it, the more panicked she grew. The light overhead was too bright, and the room smelled like piss, and the air was cold and unforgiving. She was going to face him eventually. There was no way out of it. They were in the same league now, playing the same game. What would he say to her? What would he think? Would he even recognize her, or would he pretend as if he never even knew her? Her vision blurred and her heart was too loud and she couldn’t feel her hands or her feet or her arms or legs and there was an inexplicable whirring in the air, the sensation of the point. And then there was nothing but blackness.

                “Hey!” a voice called. “Hey, get up!” Rei’s head was pounding. She blinked slowly, trying to refocus her vision, but the light overhead was far too bright. The strong stench of alcohol burned beneath her nose. “You’re done, you can go now! Come on, kid, get up!” For a moment, Rei couldn’t even recall where she was. Her hands were shaking and her arm was sore and her face was dewy with sweat. Only one word reverberated through her head: Kakashi. And then she remembered everything. She sucked in an unsteady breath, slowly sat upright, inspected the mark on her upper arm. Her fingers floated over the tattoo, about to touch it if it had not been for the masked man shouting at her not to. It was so unsettling, the swirling little stamp and the reddened flesh surrounding. She would be branded an ANBU for the rest of her life. There was no turning back. Her stomach lurched and she bolted forward toward a trash can in the corner, violently vomiting until her face was dewy with sweat. This was not a dream. This was reality. And somehow, that terrified her more than anything.

                She wiped the excess puke from her lips and leaned her back against the wall, gasping for breath. The tattoo ninja stared at her awkwardly, shaking his head. He gathered a cloth bandage then approached and began wrapping her arm. “I’ve been doing this for quite some time now but I can honestly say I have never in my entire career seen someone get that shaken up about a stupid little tattoo.” In that moment, Rei desperately wanted to punch him. Didn’t he understand? This was so much more than _just_ a tattoo. This was a life sentence. Nothing would ever be the same again.

                The masked man who had escorted her there peeked through the door, glancing around to see how things were progressing. “Are we all done here?” he asked. The tattoo ninja nodded, cleaning up his work station with some underhanded comment about Rei’s overreaction. The first man looked her up and down, taking account of her pale complexion and sweaty brow. “If you can’t handle a little tattoo, then I’m not so sure you’re in the right line of work” he commented.

                Rei grimaced, barreling toward him. Mockingly, she repeated, “I’m not so sure you’re in the right line of work!” She then punched him in the arm and squeezed past him through the doorway, muttering, “As if I’m some weak little cry baby, shut the hell up. You don’t know a damn thing.”

                The masked man blinked a few times, glancing to the tattoo ninja for a moment. “Lord Third picked quite a firecracker” he remarked. The tattoo ninja nodded and the man shut the door. He chased after Rei in the hallway, motioning for her to follow him once more. Another ninja stood behind a barred window like a statue. A sign overhead read Equipment Department. The two men barely spoke a word to one another before the one turned and disappeared into the darkness. Alone together, Rei was awkward and unsure of how to make conversation with her escort. She eyed him up and down, wondered if he knew Kakashi. She wondered if they all knew Kakashi, then called herself stupid because of course they did. He was the Copy Ninja for heaven’s sake. Everyone knew him.

                “Here’s a set of gear for you” the gruff man replied upon his return. He slid a tray of supplies through the window’s opening: vest, gauntlets, katana, mask. Rei took the tray slowly, carefully, then was directed behind a thin medical-grade divider to change. A sense of power washed over her as she slipped out of her civilian clothing and into that revered uniform, suddenly no longer herself. She strapped that mask on and Rei Natsuki was no more. She was an ANBU now. There was no turning back. She smoothed her vest over her chest, strapped her sword to her back, sucked in a deep breath, and then emerged.

                “Lord Hokage has asked to see you once you’re finished” the masked man said, looking her up and down. She looked good. She looked like she belonged. Perhaps the hokage had made a smart decision after all, though looks meant nothing in the face of battle. Her skill was the true point of contention.

                Rei nodded once, affirming she had understood, and then went on her way. She clenched her fists tightly as she walked through the village, civilian eyes staring at her as if she was something rare and special and strange. Truthfully, it bothered her. She had never had so many eyes on her at once before. Maybe it was the way the moonlight struck her, contorting her form into a strange assembly of shadow and light. Or maybe her mask was too unnerving, the design on it haunting. Or maybe this uniform just carried a particular reputation with it that she had to accept if she wanted to really be a part of this. If she had to be ogled at, though, at least she was an anonymous spectacle. Nobody had a single clue who she really was.

                The new recruit sucked in a deep breath before knocking on the hokage’s door. Taking a drag from his pipe, the old man ushered her inside. She slipped in quietly, met with a group of others huddled in the corner conversing quietly. Lord Third smiled softly, greeting his new guest. “I take it you’ve settled in alright?”

                “Yes, sir” she replied with a single nod.

                “Good, good, I’m very glad to hear that. I hope you’re ready to work hard, then” he replied. Again, Rei nodded once. “Before you can go out into the field, you’ll need a couple weeks of training in the Ishoku subdivision. I have already assembled a squad of other new recruits you will work alongside.” Here, he motioned to the other ninja in the room, silencing themselves and standing attention dutifully. Rei glanced toward them, eyeing them up and down. Two women and two men, from the looks of it. Great. “I think it is important for you all to get acquainted with one another before you begin your training early tomorrow morning. After all, you will be spending quite a bit of time together.”

                A sense of awkward displacement suddenly overtook the redhead. These were her comrades. These were the ninja she would be fighting alongside now. She wondered who they were underneath the masks, what their faces looked like, if they had families and if it was hard leaving them behind. Or perhaps they were all far more heartless than she and found no problem in giving up everything. As she looked upon them, however, a sudden realization hit her. Something was missing. Turning back to the hokage, she then asked, “And what of our sensei?”

                Lord Third took a long, impatient drag of his pipe. “He should be here any minute now” he replied. He turned to his secretary, murmured something urgent, something probably along the lines of _Where the hell is he?_ The middle-aged woman nodded vigorously before scurrying out the door. The hokage enjoyed a moment of unimaginable stress before clearing his throat as he rose from his seat.  

                “I would like to sincerely congratulate you all on having made it thus far and becoming official members of the ANBU Black Ops. However, this is only the beginning of a very long and difficult journey. The next few weeks will be spent in a rigorous new training program, the Ishoku subdivision, where you will study the necessary subjects under a very skilled, volunteered Black Ops member. Then, in two weeks time, you will all work together in a simulated mission to ensure you have mastered the basic skills required of you” he explained, pacing the room. “Only then will you truly be prepared to complete what will be asked of you.”

                Rei thought long and hard about what the hokage had said, her mind thrumming on that one word. _Ishoku._ She had heard the whispers, the term heavy on the lips of every ninja informed about the ANBU. As she understood it, the Ishoku subdivision was created to help bridge the ever-growing gap between the more experienced ANBU teams and the new recruits. Apparently particular members had grown rather haughty in their status and looked down upon those with less experience, as if the hokage was not picking his new recruits critically enough. The Ishoku sought to fix that by encouraging current members to volunteer for sensei positions, training the rookies and teaching them everything they needed to know. There was certain protocol that must be followed, things not required of regular shinobi. The tactics, apparently, were controversial. Some saw this as a pointless scheme, furthering that divide by giving seasoned members the chance to undermine new recruits. Apparently there was a delicious paycheck involved, though, which would be enough to convince anyone.

                A light rapping at the door stirred Rei from her contemplations. The secretary peeked her head into the room, nodding once. The time had come. Their sensei had arrived. The hokage smiled in relief and ushered him inside. There was something different about this one, she was sure of it. He approached the hokage dutifully, standing beside him to look upon his new charges. “Sorry I’m late. I was forced to take a detour” he said quietly, not taking his eyes off the six students staring back at him.

                “It’s quite alright” Lord Third replied. He took another drag before announcing, “This will be your team leader. He is a very talented ninja who has voluntarily taken time from his usual duties to train you all, so I suggest you pay him the utmost respect. I think he will prove to be a very valuable teacher to you.”

                Something almost palpable began growing between Rei and this young man, something electric and terrifying. They locked eyes for a moment, their stomachs stirring. She knew this man, she was sure of it. He was familiar and unsettling. She couldn’t stop staring at him as the hokage rambled about the training protocol, the usual first day syllabi. What’s more, she could’ve swore that underneath that mask, he was staring at her, too. She noticed his body language, standing rigid and tense. He tightened his fists at his side. His heart raced, his composure was breaking. She knew who he was. And just as the thought occurred to her, the words spilled from his lips. Her suspicions were officially confirmed. She was face to face with none other than her childhood best friend, the Copy Ninja Kakashi Hatake.

                Her head spun as her comrades began introducing themselves, flaunting their preferred code names as if they were in a bar drinking sake and casually conversing with strangers. Rei swallowed back the fear rising in her throat. And then it was her turn. Her sensei looked at her expectantly, as if he was gazing into her soul. She stared back at him with the same intensity, straightening her back, then made her move.

                “Aisuru. Just Aisuru.”

                The minute she spoke that word, something within Kakashi shifted. A barrage of strange feelings slammed him squarely in the gut, and suddenly it was as if time had stood still and they were the only two people on the planet. The masks didn’t even matter anymore. They could see through the disguises to one another, their true forms, face to face for the first time in years. After so much deliberation, now that she was here, Rei was astonished to find she was not nearly as terrified as she expected. If anything, she actually felt powerful and confident and strong. She had finally proven her worth. She had not only become a great ninja but was now part of the Konoha black ops. And Kakashi said she would never make it.

                Time slowed and the others watched with quiet confusion, as if there was a massive chunk of the story they were missing and therefore ceased to comprehend the scene in front of them. Even the hokage himself felt a massive surge of strange energy pulsing between the two of them, something he had not at all expected.

                “I take it you two already know one another?” he asked suspiciously. Rei was the first to answer.

                “No. Not at all.”

~o~

                The following two weeks were rigorous and intense. Rei worked hard alongside her comrades, studying human anatomy and chakra networks and the best way to kill a man, all under the tutelage of Kakashi Hatake. As their instructor, he was required to treat everyone equally and remain professional and detached. Still, it was hard to deny the strange energy pulsing between them whenever they were near one another. Rei would grow nervous, tense, and uptight while Kakashi became stoic and sharp. He would speak to her in one word answers and she refused to make eye contact. The others tried not to question it, but it was clear there was something going on.

                “…conflict of interest or something. I don’t know, maybe we should tell the hokage” one recruit whispered to another in the locker room. “I mean, how do we know he’s not giving her some sort of special treatment?”

                “Have you seen the way he acts around her?” the other scoffed. “I’m sure if she was on fire and he had a glass of water, he’d drink it and let her burn. He wants nothing to do with her.”

                Rei sucked in a deep breath from behind the wall, on her way back from the showers. The longer she listened, the more unsure she was of how much more she could handle. She glanced to the tattoo on her shoulder and wondered if she had made a mistake. This was exactly the sort of shit she feared would happen.

                “How do you know it’s not just a front?” the first asked. “Don’t you think if he was treating her better than the rest of us, he’d want to convince everyone as best as he could that he hated her guts?”

                “Hmm, I guess you’ve got a point” said the second.

                The first chuckled naughtily, leaning against the lockers. “I wonder what it would take to get him to treat me like that.”

                “Ignorance and distance? Probably red hair, crooked teeth, and C-cups” the second snapped with a roll of her eyes.

                “Oh, don’t be so bitter” the first replied, then added dreamily, “I wonder what he looks like underneath that ANBU mask. He never takes the damn thing off.”

                 “Maybe he looks like everyone else” the second said. She was beginning to grow rather weary of her friend’s school girl gossip. “Honestly, I really don’t think it’s our place to ask. It’s a sign of professionalism. He’s a professional guy, _not_ the kind who would hook up with a comrade let alone someone he’s training.”

                The first rolled her eyes. “Don’t be so sure of that. I’m sure I could convince him to go on a date if I really tried hard enough.”

                “Fat chance” said the second. The first didn’t seem to be listening.

                “It would be the most romantic night ever! A candlelit dinner and some dancing. Afterward, we’d go for a walk in the park and cuddle under the stars. And when the moment is just right, I’d rip that mask off and see his real face!” she gushed. “I bet he’s got kind, thoughtful eyes and soft lips. I bet he has a killer jawline.”

                “Hate to break it to you, sunshine” a voice suddenly called, interrupting. Rei shook her hair of excess water like a dog and stepped out from behind the wall. “But all you’re gonna get underneath that ANBU mask is another stupid mask.” The two kunoichi stared at her incredulously, jaws dropped open like fish gasping for air. “And if you must know, the answer is no. There is nothing going on between me and the instructor. We don’t know one another and we never will. There’s nothing to debunk or decode. No amount of red hair or extra cleavage will make you some sort of magical unicorn princess to him. You’re gossiping little minds just seem to thrive off conflict and like to read way too far into things but I swear to you, if you even so much as think of trying to undermine my training and spread lies to the hokage, that will be the last thing you ever say.” Here, she picked up her kunai and licked the blade to further enforce her method of punishment.

                The two women watched wide-eyed as Rei dried herself off and slipped into her civilian clothes. For someone so tiny, she was certainly terrifying. They both made a mental note not to cross her path in the future, even if they thought fearing a comrade was ridiculous. But Rei was bold and ruthless. She had fought too hard for too long to get where she was now, and she’d be damned if some gossiping pigs were going to destroy everything she had thus far achieved.

                Kakashi sighed as he closed his book and turned out the light. He had stayed up far too late far too many times, and he couldn’t afford to be late again. He thought of his trainees, of their hard work. None of them showed any signs of being truly fit for the ANBU. They didn’t have the guts. Except for maybe one, but…he didn’t want to think about her right now. He had heard the whisperings, the snickers behind his back. He had a pretty fair idea of what people were saying. He wished they wouldn’t. Gossip was so petty and childish. No one needed to know about the past. It didn’t matter. They were strangers now.  

                Their fortnight of training passed quickly, Rei and the others ending up with scrapes and bruises and heads pounding with an overflow of knowledge. The six students and their instructor met with the hokage early that morning, standing attention, prepared to receive their final test. Lord Third looked upon them proudly and critically. It was clear to him that they had shed their naivete, that Kakashi had trained them well. He had pushed them to their limits, ingraining the importance of mastery into their heads. _One false move and you’re dead._

                “For your final exam” the hokage began, “You will be put through a simulation of a common ANBU mission in which you must track and capture a highly dangerous traitor-nin and return him to the village, or in this case the front gates of the 44th Training Ground. You must all work together, instructor included, to fulfill this mission. Only then will you graduate and start taking up real missions, understood?”

                One of the recruits cleared her throat and raised her hand. The hokage signaled her to speak. “What are the parameters of this mission? What are we supposed to do?”

                Lord Third chewed on his pipe quizzically. “Whatever tactics you use will be up to you. I suggest you treat this as if it was a real mission and therefore you should already be aware of the rules and regulations of the ANBU black ops. You did teach them the way things are done, didn’t you?” he then asked, turning to Kakashi. Standing firm, the ninja nodded definitively. If this woman wasn’t paying close enough attention to his lectures, then clearly she wasn’t cut out for a job like this in the first place. She should just go home.

                Rei snickered at her ignorance, thinking to herself that she was probably paying closer attention to Kakashi’s muscles than his words. Pathetic.

                The Forest of Death was daunting as the group slowly approached. Something itched in all of their chests, vivid memories of the chunin exams clouding their vision. It seemed as if those days were a completely separate lifetime. They had all come so, so far. Kakashi led his team to the gates, cool and collected. Of course he was calm. Of course he had no fear. He had been doing this for years. There was nothing he couldn’t handle. The hokage walked with them, alongside some of the village elders, to ensure that things would go smoothly and to await the team’s return.

                “This is who you’re searching for. Study his face because this is the only time you will get to see his image” the hokage explained. He held up a picture of a random ninja wearing a Konoha headband, eyes cold and detached and lips taut. Rei familiarized herself with his gaze, the way his hair fell, and any other identifying features. His name was Uragiri. His crime was universally understood.

                “You will have twenty four hours to find, capture, and return him to the front gates. If you fail, your whole squad will be forced to exit the black ops” one of the village elders explained. Rei clenched her fists, sucking in a deep breath. Everything hinged on this.

                She looked to the two women she had found gossiping in the locker room, thought back to what she had said to them. She still stood by her threat, drastic as it was. She would not let them or anyone else undermine her success. She was going to succeed. She had to succeed. The mark on her shoulder burned.

                The six of them stood attention, forming behind Kakashi in the lead. The redhead adjusted the mask on her face, dug her nails into her palms. The gates swung open and they all rushed inside, one after the other. The countdown had begun. This was it.

                The hokage and the village elders watched them depart gravely, Lord Third taking a nervous drag from his pipe. “I sure hope they can handle this” he murmured. Koharu, the old lady, sucked her teeth and shook her head, reassuring Hiruzen Sarutobi that they would be fine. After all, if they couldn’t handle this, then they weren’t cut out to be a part of the black ops in the first place, plain and simple.

                Rei flitted alongside her teammates, eyes focused and determined. She kept the image of their target in the back of her mind, meanwhile watching Kakashi for orders. He flashed hand signals to them and Rei’s mind raced, trying to remember what they meant. _Keep close. Eyes open. Don’t speak._

                She always found it interesting, that the ANBU had their own sort of special sign language. They were like their own species of being, with their own rules and customs, separated from the rest of the herd. Faceless creatures in the dead of night who stalked and killed. Silent assassins. Three pairs of foreign eyes watched overhead.

                “What do you think?” one hissed, clenching the branch he was perched on. He licked his lips as he watched the squad sprint deeper and deeper into the forest. Delicious.

                “They should all be fairly easy to eliminate” the other growled, but there was a sense of restraint in his voice. “That is” he continued, “So long as Kakashi doesn’t get in our way.”

                “You don’t think he’d really bother trying to save these idiots, do you?” the first questioned. “After all, he was called Friend Killer for a reason, and I doubt these people are even his friends!”

                The first clapped a hand over the second’s mouth to quiet the beginnings of his maniacal laughter. He always was quite the bird brain. “Listen to me, Oroka, so long as we can get past the Copy Ninja, this should be a piece of cake but we’ll never get there if you blow our cover!” Oroka shrunk beside his master on their perch, quietly apologizing. Meanwhile, the other, Kaikoku, strategized. He hadn’t expected to be up against Kakashi of all people, meaning their mission would be far more difficult than they had expected. Oroka resented this and though he never said it aloud, Kaikoku could tell. After all, the feelings were mutual. Whereas Oroka just didn’t want to work hard, however, Kaikoku knew that this meant someone was going to end up going home in a body bag. He doubted they would all escape Kakashi unscathed.

                As Kaikoku plotted, their third squad member, Matomeru, seethed. She pulled her dark hair back tightly into a ponytail, slid gloves onto her hands, fought the urge to pounce right then and there. For the others, this was just another assignment. For her, this was personal. Despite their protests, Matomeru forced her brothers to let her join them. She already knew Kakashi would be there, providing her the perfect opportunity to take care of some unfinished business. If all went according to plan, she already knew exactly how this would pan out, too.

                Kakashi flashed hand signals to his team instructing them to split up—three pairs—and each take a different direction to cover more land quickly. The two gossiping women in the locker room clung to each other, expectedly, and bolted to the west. One of the men, whose name Rei didn’t bother to remember, motioned for her to follow him, while the other man stayed dutifully beside Kakashi. The redhead didn’t quite know what she expected but as she departed to the east, something in her felt unresolved. She glanced back over her shoulder and watched just as Kakashi and his partner disappeared.

                No matter how hard she studied, the one thing that no amount of books could prepare her for was the importance of paying attention. Rei learned this hard and fast in the field when, distracted by her own thoughts, she lost her footing leaping to another branch and tumbled to the ground with a thud. Her partner didn’t seem to notice—typical. He was gone in a flash.

                “So much for teamwork” she grumbled, lifting herself up and dusting herself off. She surveyed her surroundings, tried to discern how far from the central temple she was. After a few moments of deliberation, she decided her best bet would be to scope the area further and see if she could find anything on her own. If she didn’t, then surely there would be no harm. She would simply try to reunite with her partner and they would continue to work together as instructed. And if she did? Well, there would be no harm in that, either.

                Rei wandered the Forest of Death slowly, keeping an eye out for anything suspicious, but after a while she found herself growing strangely bored. The forest was so quiet, and she was all alone. In a way, she almost felt sleepy. Her body craved a brief nap in the downy leaves but Rei refused. She was smarter than to fall prey to whatever was going on here. Why was she so goddamn tired? Why was the forest so tame? She sucked in a deep breath and struggled to keep herself conscious, knowing she had to be trapped in some sort of genjutsu.

                She tried to think back to the image the hokage had showed them of their criminal. Did the profile say he was a genjutsu user? She couldn’t remember. The details were growing hazy, all she could recall were the vague features of a face. A rustling in the bushes behind her immediately caught her attention, whipping around with kunai drawn. She launched it in hopes of at the very least injuring whoever was after her. A groan came from the foliage the moment the kunai struck, and out stumbled none other than the man they were after. He pulled the kunai from his shoulder and gripped it tightly, readying the blade. Rei eyed him suspiciously, quickly releasing the genjutsu just before he lunged and pinned her to the ground. A sickening smile spread across his lips as he pressed the blade to her throat.

                “No one will ever know what happened to you” he hissed, voice strangely high-pitched. Rei cocked a brow—something was amiss here. No matter. She had no time to dwell on it. In one swift movement, she kneed her opponent in the crotch and struggled to kick him off her, rising to her feet. _Tiger; Chameleon Jutsu_. Rei leapt up to a nearby tree branch, watching her opponent with a sharp eye as she readied another blade. She contemplated tying a paper bomb around it but deduced it would be no use. Their goal never was to kill the man, only capture him. If she could aim the blade just right to hit a vital spot in the leg, then she could render him immobile and easily keep tabs on him while she waited for backup. She couldn’t wait to hear what they’d say when they found she had taken care of things all by herself. The looks on those girls faces would be priceless, especially Miss Flirty over there who never paid attention in class. Rei would show her how it was really done, then she would truly know not to mess with the likes of Rei Natsuki.  

                The other thing that books never prepared her for, however, was the importance of focus. Rei had become so hellbent on proving her worth, imagining her shining victory at the end of all this, that she didn’t contemplate her aim long enough and instead, missed her mark. Her opponent growled, scouring the trees for where the masked kunoichi may be hiding. _Damn_. Rei reached into her pouch to grab her flare so she could signal the others, but lost her grip. The flare fell to the ground with a soft thud, giving away her location immediately. The ninja launched another kunai right at Rei, but she somersaulted off the branch just in time to dodge it. Her invisibility broke the minute she hit the ground, unsteady.

                “You’re going to pay for that!” the traitor-nin shrieked. He whipped out an array of jutsu, a steadfast fighter. Rei tried to counteract his every move but his earth style did not bode well for her water affinity. The mountainous ridges he commanded from the ground cut right through the waves she flung his way. It was useless. Kicking her opponent away, she used her free hand to reach into her pouch for another flare only to find she had apparently only packed the one. She could very well search the area for it, but that would take forever and leave her vulnerable. Her only other option would be to scream, but that would just make her feel ridiculous. She was an ANBU black ops member. She didn’t scream. But then again, she was also steadily running out of options. Her chakra stores were depleting rapidly, and her opponent showed no sign of slowing. She needed help and fast.

                The man lunged at her once more, this time Rei clenching her fist and focusing the rest of her chakra to her hand for the ultimate blow. Her fist connected with the man’s cheek just as a comrade’s flare fired in the distance. The man stumbled backwards, covering his face, spitting a tooth or two on the ground. Rei stared at the burst for a moment with fascination and confusion: either someone was in trouble, or someone was successful. But there was no way it could be anything but trouble—their criminal was right in front of them. His hand hardened into a fist, preparing to counterattack. “You foolish little--!” he shrieked. In a flash, he swung his hand away, launching a kunai directly toward Rei, and revealed his face. No longer was he the man who matched the picture, but a tall, slender woman with arched brows and taut lips. Dumbfounded, Rei countered the blade with her own at the last minute as the woman ran toward her with a battle cry. Rei tried to dodge her attacks but it was no use. She was all out of chakra, and taijutsu was never her forte. In one swift movement, the woman had her pinned. She tied Rei to the trunk of a tree with chakra thread, unbreakable.

                “Who the hell are you?” Rei gasped, struggling against her restraint. She locked her eyes on the woman, studying her every feature. She wanted to commit this face to memory, even if it was the last face she ever saw. In the event that she survived this and her opponent got away, she wanted to be able to provide a good description.

                The woman laughed haughtily, leaning in close so that Rei could smell her sugary breath. “You’re not the only one who wears a mask, kiddo” she hissed, then ripped Rei’s mask off and tossed it to the ground. A large crack formed down the middle. She studied Rei’s face a moment, smiling softly and caressing the kunoichi’s cheek. “Such a pretty face. What a shame it went to waste on you” she commented, but then paused a moment to skate a finger across the scar traversing the bridge of her nose. “Oh, maybe not as pretty as we thought now, are we? Imperfection is the antagonist of beauty, you know.”

                Rei growled and spit on the woman’s cheek to try and shake her away. It was then evident that there was only one thing left for her to do if she was to have any hope of survival. Sucking in a deep breath, she released a scream loud and shrill enough to shake the entire forest. The woman simply laughed.  

                “Oh, this is precious. Scream all you want, dear, but it’s not going to help much” she said.

                “You don’t know what you’re up against!” Rei threatened, voice slightly hoarse.

                “Oh, really?” the woman feigned ignorance. “Because it seems to me, I’m up against you whose up against a tree. Not very effective, is it?”  

                “The others will come for me. I’m not alone. I even have the Copy Ninja on my side” Rei replied. Her opponent’s crystalline eyes glimmered as she placed her hands firmly on her hips.

                “Kakashi? How darling! You really think he’ll come to save the likes of you?” she teased. Rei snarled up at the woman, testing her. “Oh, why it looks like I’ve struck a nerve! What does Kakashi mean to you, anyway?” she exclaimed. There was something interesting going on here, an unusual dynamic she hadn’t expected. Intrigued by the prospect of a compelling twist, she leaned in close and whispered, “Let’s see what new information we can find here, shall we?” The woman looked deep into Rei’s eyes, delving into her psyche until she found exactly what she was after. Images of childhood nostalgia flashed in her mind, her past with Kakashi revealed. Once she was done sifting through Rei’s memories, her face contorted and she took a step back. “Oh. I see how it is” she said, as if she understood everything now. She paced for a few moments, analyzing all of this new information. “You know, my primal side is telling me I should just kill you now but my better half knows I could make better use of you as a pawn. You have something that I want and the only way I can achieve success is by using you, understood?”

                “So what? You’re going to try to lure Kakashi here through me?” Rei asked.

                “My, beauty _and_ brains! Quite the package, are we?” the woman teased. Rei rolled her eyes. She didn’t need this right now. “Keep screaming, sweetheart. Your voice is your most valuable asset right now” she implored. Rei grimaced up at her, unconvinced on the idea. She refused to let herself be used in a way that would put Kakashi in danger. However, the woman was stubborn—perhaps more stubborn than Rei herself. A sickening smile touched her lips. “Defiant, are we? Let me make this more compelling for you, then…”

                Kakashi and his partner gave chase to the strange man they had found in the forest, knowing immediately that something was amiss. Before they knew it, they were running parallel to the two women, chasing after yet another strange man. It was as if they were leading all of them to a specific spot, surely for something inhuman. “Stay on guard, this might be a trap” Kakashi instructed to the others. They had been reunited with the other third of the group, but what of Rei and her partner? Kakashi thought they would turn up at any moment but the further they ventured, the less likely that seemed. A vivid image of her flayed and left for dead flashed in his mind, only a split second but harsh enough to make his palms sweat.

                The two enemies bolted through the forest until landing in a clearing where they disappeared. Kakashi and the others skidded to a halt, staring up at the tower in the center of the forest. The sun was just beginning to set.

                Inside, Rei struggled against the chakra shackles she had been imprisoned with. Beside her sat the man she was supposed to be partnered with, and on the other side their original target, the missing-nin, head hanging low and silent. If Rei was stupid enough, she would’ve pressed her ear to his chest to see if he was even still alive. To think, he probably wasn’t even a real criminal. Just some volunteer from the village generous enough to help out some new recruits. And even if he was a bad guy, he didn’t deserve something like this.

                “Great going, Aisuru” the other ANBU muttered. Rei whipped her head around to face him.

                “Excuse me, what was that?” she snarled.

                “Look at the mess you got us into” he snapped.

                “Me? You’re the one who left me! Some partner you are, asshole!”

                “Well maybe if you were more coordinated, you wouldn’t have fallen behind and screwed me up.”

                “You son of a—” Rei started, but was interrupted by a kunai whizzing past her face. The blade just barely grazed her cheek. She stared up at Matomeru approaching, eyes sinister. Rei smirked. “You missed.”

                “It was a warning shot” Matomeru said matter-of-factly. Then, before she could say anything more, the heavy double doors swung open and two men stalked inside, Kaikoku and Oroka. “Took you goons long enough” Matomeru spat. Kaikoku rolled his eyes as he surged forward.

                “We did what we needed to do, that’s all that should matter” he growled. Rei’s heart leapt into her throat. What did he mean “what we needed to do”? A sickening sensation filled her stomach, a bad omen. Matomeru rose an eyebrow, a request for elaboration. “They should be here any minute.”

                “Kakashi included?” she asked. The men nodded, affirming her question. Matomeru clasped her hands together as a diabolical smile spread across her lips. “Perfect. It’s been far too long.”

                “And what about these three?” Oroka asked, kicking Rei in the side. The redhead winced and gasped. “Shall we begin the procedure?” _Procedure? What procedure?_ Rei thought to herself. This was getting bad. Her heart was racing, and she tried her hardest to swallow back her fear.

                Matomeru nodded, drawing a kunai from the holster on her thigh and launching it at the wall.  “Let the games begin.”

                Kakashi strained his ears for any sounds that might indicate where the enemies had gone and what they were up to. The stairwell was dark and gloomy, the only indicator the others were with him being the stoic sound of their footsteps. He ordered one pair to break away, find a separate entrance into the large room on the top floor. It was better to cover more ground, safer. One girl and one guy ran off to fulfill his orders, the other girl staying behind. Rei would’ve recognized her as the one in the locker room gushing about getting into Kakashi’s pants. For her, a moment alone with him like this was perfect. As they crept, she tried to drum up a conversation with him.

                “So, what do you say after all of this, you and I go get something to eat, huh?” she whispered flirtatiously. “How do you feel about dango?”

                “I don’t like sweets” Kakashi replied bluntly. He was far too focused on the task at hand, he didn’t have time for childish antics. A comrade was in trouble, and a simple training exercise had escalated into a full-blown invasion of the Leaf Village. He didn’t know who these people were or what all they planned to do, but what he did know is that he was not going to let them get away with their lives.

                She still tried to drum up a conversation with him as they approached the door, distorting Kakashi’s perception of the voices inside. Eventually, he couldn’t handle it anymore. He had to snap at her. He didn’t want to, but she didn’t seem to be taking this very seriously. She shut up immediately and though he couldn’t see through her mask, he could tell she was hurt. Honestly, he didn’t really care. He strained his ears to listen for the noises on the other side of the doors, echoed screams and sounds of torture. It was nothing he hadn’t heard before, but this time there was something different about it. Perhaps it was just knowing who was on the other side that changed things. He shoved back the bile rising in his throat, creaked the door open, launched a kunai at one of the figures he saw inside. Her swift fingers caught the blade mid-air, whipping around to face her opponent. She knew that white hair anywhere.

                “Kakashi!” Matomeru squealed, rushing forward. Kakashi readied another blade, eyeing her threateningly. She then froze, pouting. “Oh…do you not remember me?” she asked. Kakashi said nothing. He remembered her, but he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction. She narrowed her eyes and clenched her fists at her sides, growling, “Then let me jog your memory!” Matomeru lunged toward him, Kakashi dodging just in the nick of time. Another kunai flew across the room from a nearby window. The others swooped in to join the fight.

                “Wait, you know this girl?” the flirty ANBU member asked, readying her own blade. Kakashi didn’t want to answer. He didn’t want to bring this up right now. He didn’t even want to see Matomeru but now that she was here, he knew the only way to truly end things was to kill her.

                Matomeru flicked her ponytail back over her shoulder and pouted. “I met Kakashi a few years ago, and I thought he loved me but then he left me heartbroken! Look what you’ve done to me, Kakashi! You’ve made me turn to a life of crime!” she whined. Kakashi rolled his eyes. They both knew it wasn’t his rejection that made her become a criminal. She was already one to begin with.

                The flirty ninja sucked her teeth and crossed her arms, glaring at Kakashi. “Seems like you’ve got quite the dating history, huh?” she jabbed. How many other women were there?

                Kakashi launched his kunai at Matomeru, groaning, “Not the time.” It had been six years, he thought Matomeru would’ve gotten over this by now. He never even confessed anything to her, really. He simply fulfilled a mission, met her in the process, and she had googly eyes for him that he did not reciprocate. Why would he? He didn’t love her. He didn’t love anyone, for that matter.

                Rei coughed and struggled in her chakra shackles on the other side of the room. She hated this feeling useless thing. This was not the way her first mission in the ANBU, simulated or not, was meant to go. She should’ve been up fighting with everyone else. She watched Kakashi battle with Matomeru, whipping out all of their jutsu and utilizing all of their weapons. Even though she was the enemy, Rei wished she was more like her. Matomeru was tall and strong and beautiful, not to mention skilled. Matomeru wouldn’t have gotten captured in the first round.  

                Chewing her bottom lip, Rei tried to come to terms with her situation, but she just couldn’t handle it. She needed to get out of there. She watched Matomeru, knowing it was her chakra these shackles were infused with. If only she could just figure out how to break that chakra, and then she would be free.

                Before she could figure an escape, however, Okara snuck away from the other pair of ninja with a kunai and a crazed look in his eyes. “This is the moment of truth, little kunoichi!” he screeched. “Give us the information we need!” He didn’t even wait for her to answer before he began slitting at her skin, staining her uniform with blood. She refused to show any signs of pain, and refused to reveal any information. She knew exactly what they were after: intel on the Leaf so that they could kill the Hokage and take over the place for themselves. Typical.

                “What makes you think I’ll be so easy to crack?” Rei snapped, violent and harsh. A dark smile crept across her lips as she stared straight at Okara. “I would rather die than endanger my village.”

                “It seems you’ve made your choice, then, which makes my job very easy!” Okara shouted. As he did so, he raised the kunai high over his head, preparing to kill. Rei sucked in her last breaths, never losing eye contact with him, and watched as the blade dropped, intent on piercing her chest. Before it could make the slice, however, a flash of something—or someone—interrupted and counteracted the blade. _Kakashi._

                He gasped for breath, staring darkly at the ninja before him. “Not so fast” he said, and Rei could tell he had to be smirking underneath that mask. Her heart leapt into her throat. Had he just saved her?

                “Oh? What an interesting little plot twist!” Okara laughed. “What have we here? Love birds?” Rei’s cheeks burned red at the prospect. If the circumstances hadn’t been so bleak, she would’ve explained _not quite._ “Do you really believe a simple intervention is enough to save her?”

                Kakashi tightened his grip on his kunai. “I will not allow my comrades to die” he growled. Okara lunged forward, initiating the fight. The rest was a massive blur as Rei struggled to remain conscious. All the injuries she had thus far sustained were beginning to catch up to her, and she couldn’t pretend as if she was invincible any longer. Her vision went in and out of focus as the pain intensified all over her body. She heard voices, saw shapes of color, but could no longer comprehend any of it. And then, like a signal flare, came a blinding white light. The hair on her arms and the back of her neck stood on end, an energy pulsing through her body. Her breathing picked up and her head spun and she was certain this was the end, she was going to die. Then there was blackness.

                “…should just leave her. Isn’t that what the handbook said anyways? All for one and one for all sort of deal?” a voice echoed. Rei groaned and blinked awake, trying to find the source of the sound. All she saw were colors dancing before her eyes, maroon and navy and snot green.

                “You can’t rely on a handbook for morality” another voice scolded. “There is nothing more important than teamwork, and that involves never abandoning a comrade in battle, especially one whose been injured.” Then came footsteps, heavy and purposeful. Strong arms lifted her up, carrying her toward the exit. As he did so, he whispered, more to himself than anything, “I’ve broken a lot of promises but this will not be one of them.” Then, as he approached the others, he instructed, “Three of you go on ahead and find Kaikoku. By all means, kill him.”

                “And what about you?” a pleading, sickeningly sweet voice asked.

                “Don’t worry about what I’m going to do.” And with that, half of the squad dispersed. One of the other male ninja scooped up the criminal and together, the two shinobi disappeared into the forest.

                Blinking awake, Rei found herself lying in a patch of lush, healthy grass. Everything else around her was stark white, as if trapped in an abyss of nothingness. _Where am I…? Who is that…?_ A small child sat far away, alone, red hair covering her face. _Oh…that’s me…I’m a kid again._ Her knees were curled up to her chest, bruises all over her arms and legs. There was something unnerving about seeing herself young again, and in the third person perspective. She knew she should’ve felt something strong and jarring but instead, there was nothing but confusion and a hazy sort of paralysis. A voice then called from somewhere in the realm, familiar and all at once heartbreaking and heartwarming. _Who is that? Where is that voice coming from?_ A figure then entered into the scene: unruly white hair, a scarf and mask covering the lower half of the face. _It’s Kakashi. He’s a kid, too._ She crept slightly closer, watching them as if they were fish in an aquarium, fidgety to the point where at any moment they may disappear if apprehended. He looked down upon her with that trademark lazy expression, told her _You’re weak. You’ll never be strong enough to become a good ninja._ By now, Rei knew her reaction. It ran its course but deep down she felt nothing. She was utterly numb. Her child self shrieked and cried, hugging herself tightly as she protested. _That’s not true! I do have it what takes! I will become a great ninja someday! I’ll show you! I’ll show everyone!_ Kakashi shook his head, as if to express a wondering of when she will ever learn. He turned to walk away despite Rei’s desperate pleas, and as he did so she then heard him echo _Come on, come on. Wake up. Come on, wake up. You’re alright, just open your eyes._

                Rei’s head was pounding and the sun was brilliantly bright. She winced and squinted up to find a face looming over her, stoic and stony. “K-Kakashi…?” As she regained her consciousness, she realized her head was in his lap and he was holding her hand. It was then that she knew she was definitely dead.

                “Morning, sleepyhead” another voice, another man, said. Rei’s eyes slowly shifted to look at him, but an immense pressure filled her head before she could complete the task.

                “Don’t strain yourself” Kakashi scolded. Rei slowly shut her eyes and sighed.

                “You think she’ll be alright?” the other man asked. Beside him was the traitor-nin, his own body bruised and bloodied. He still wore the shackles, but they no longer surged with chakra.

                “Yeah, I’m sure she’ll be fine” Kakashi replied, though there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. A moment of silence passed before he then said, “I’m going to move her into the shade, keep her out of the sun for a while. I don’t want her to get overheated.” The other man nodded and then Kakashi gently lifted Rei up into his arms and carried her deeper into the brush. He set her down on a patch of soft grass beneath a canopy of trees, cool and shady. “There” he said softly as he set her down.

                Kakashi knew hardly anything of medical ninjutsu but he tried to do his best to inspect her injuries anyway. Deep gashes covered her arms and legs, a few on her abdomen, and tender, yellow bruises here and there. _She put up a good fight_ , he thought to himself. He thought of Matomeru, of the battle they had just fought. Of her last words before the electricity obliterated her body. _It’s pointless, Kakashi! I don’t know why you care so much, she’s just going to die anyway!_

                He willed away the thoughts, Rei’s hoarse coughs snapping him back to reality. He propped her head up against his lap again and brushed the hair out of her face. “What are you doing?” she croaked, furrowing her brows. Her eyes, duller than usual, squinted up at him. He fought to keep his composure.

                “Trying to make you comfortable” he whispered. He was scared if he spoke too loud, he might break her. He had forgotten how resilient she was.

                She scoffed, rolling her eyes, snapping, “What do you care?” An arrow through the heart. Kakashi contemplated recoiling—he didn’t need this right now, he was only trying to help—but he couldn’t find it in him to leave her. He didn’t want to think of what may happen if he turned away for even a fraction of a second. He had already lost so many loved ones, he couldn’t afford to lose her, too. Her eyes slowly began to shut, her dry lips breathing “Kakashi…”

                His heart leapt into his throat, leaning forward with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to speak but just as he did so, her eyes slowly opened again and a weak, sly smile touched her lips. “You do care” she whispered, satisfaction coating her voice. Unbelievable.

                “You scared the hell out of me” he admitted, unhappily.

                She laughed softly. “What? Did you think I was dead or something?” she asked. Kakashi shook his head in disdain.

                “That’s not funny. Don’t joke about that” he scolded. He turned his gaze to the trees surrounding, unable to look at her right now. This new angle of his accentuated a particularly nasty gash on his side that immediately caught Rei’s attention. She lifted a shaky hand up to graze it, triggering a wince from her comrade.

                “I’m sorry” she whispered. Kakashi shook his head. “Please…don’t waste your time on me like this. Don’t try to fix me when you should be fixing yourself.”

                Kakashi blinked a few times, having not expected her to say something like this, then shook his head. “It doesn’t hurt” he lied. “I’ll be fine.”

                Rei pursed her lips. “It looks like they got you pretty good, though. You should get that checked out, at least.”

                “No, it’s nothing, don’t worry about it. I don’t care” he said. “I’m used to it. Occupational hazard.” His sudden coldness was obvious. She clearly struck a nerve.

                “I’ve made you angry. I’m sorry” she whispered, the tail end of her sentence disrupted with a hefty cough. He turned back to look at her, every disgusting rack of her body setting him on edge. A small string of blood trickled down her bottom lip.

                Staring at her in that moment, she was no longer a comrade in the black ops but the little girl who lived next door. He saw her toothy grin and mangy hair, her gangly legs swinging from the porch of her home. The way she’d wait for him to return from the academy every day, excited to hear about his day and see him demonstrate his new techniques. _Kakashi, you’re amazing!_ she’d say, wrapping her thin little arms around his waist. It felt good knowing she admired him so much. He liked knowing that he was influential and supreme.

                He saw her in the training grounds, watching through branch and brush as she worked until her palms bled. Tears streamed down her cheeks. He could still hear her screams from the day he shattered her dreams.

                Another cough, spluttering blood from her lips. “I told you I’d become a strong ninja someday” she croaked. “And that’s just what I did. I showed you wrong, Kakashi. Aren’t you proud of me? I did what everyone t-told me I couldn’t. And i-if I have to die…at least…at least I’ll die nobly. I’ll die p-proud. I’ll d-die a…a ninja.” Her breath was growing more uneven every second, her face draining of all color. Kakashi’s heart began racing in his chest.

                “Stop it, you’re going to be fine. You’re not going to die” he commanded.

                “How do you know?” she croaked.

                “Because. I won’t let you. I refuse to let my comrades die” he replied. She reached up slowly, pressing her hand to his mask. He knew exactly what she wanted, but was hesitant to give it to her. Eventually, however, he did as she requested. He slipped his mask off so she could see his face, or at least what he didn’t typically keep covered. It was the first time his face had been exposed to her in years, the first time she had laid eyes on him in so long. It was weird, he felt vulnerable in front of her like this. To think, there was once a time when standing before her unmasked was natural. It never phased him when they were kids. He thought of the nights she would stay late at his house, playing board games and eating snacks. That time he cooked her nitsuke for dinner and she scarfed it down as if she had never been fed before. She made a huge mess that he had to clean up, but he didn’t really care. He thought of when he first met her, and her mother told him her name was Rei. He thought of what that name meant, _little bell_ , and then remembered the bell test. The afternoon he demonstrated it for her in the yard. She was the sensei, and he was the student. He zipped around, pretending to try and capture the imaginary bells at her waist, but instead lunged at her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. He told her she was the only bell he wanted to catch, because she was his…

                Another hearty cough, this time strong enough to accentuate the dark circles blooming around her eyes. He gripped her hand and watched her like a hawk, terrified. Once finished, she looked up at him with teary eyes, eyes that said she was scared for her life. Eyes that said she was convinced she would die. He shook his head, squeezing her hand. No, he wasn’t going to let that happen. He refused. Looking into her eyes, he whispered to her gently, “You’re going to be fine…Aisuru.”

                Rei’s heart swelled. The way he spoke, it was just the evidence she needed to know he really had remembered everything. That their past wasn’t just a bunch of pages torn from the book. Aisuru. He said the name and she knew in that moment, he did not mean her ANBU code name but the loving nickname he had given to her when they were kids. That day in the yard, when he showed her the bell test. When he wrapped his arms around her and revealed how he felt. _I think you’re my aisuruhito._ Her mother called her for dinner before she could get a clear explanation as to what that even was. Over the years, she would learn it on her own. She would cherish that memory and wonder if he really meant what he said, if he really considered her his aisuruhito. And now, in the forest on the verge of death, she knew for certain.

                The end of the test was a blur. Rei hardly remembered making it out of the forest, only recalling white hair in her face and the rise and fall of someone’s breathing against her chest, arms dangling over shoulders and strong hands grasping her thighs. A look of great concern crossed Lord Third’s face, having never expected something so intense. He called for the medical-nins, who laid her on a stretcher and rushed her to the hospital. She squeezed her eyes shut tight, one of them barking some sort of reassurance at her she couldn’t quite recall. She did her best to lift her head up, locking eyes with Kakashi for a mere moment. He had put his mask back on, returning once more to the cold, distant shell of a boy she had once known. And then there was nothingness.

                Rei slowly blinked awake, greeted by a harsh, blinding light. The sheets tucked tight around her body were stiff and scratchy, and everything smelled sterile. She let her eyes focus on her surroundings a moment before spying a nurse checking her charts. “W-what’s going on…?” she asked hoarsely.

                “Oh!” the nurse exclaimed. “I’m glad to see you’re finally awake!” she smiled down at Rei with ingenuity and tenderness. The room was empty aside from her. She was a tall woman with sandy blonde hair and shimmering eyes, perhaps in her thirties. Rei didn’t know why any of this was important, but she had grown rather accustomed to identifying others’ characteristic features at this point. Just an occupational byproduct, she supposed. “You’ve sustained some pretty hefty injuries, but nothing a little bedrest won’t fix! And when you’re ready, there’s someone here to see you.”

                Rei’s eyes lit up, her heart pounding in her chest. Her mind instantly leapt to Kakashi. Had he come to check on her? To address what had happened in the Forest of Death? She nodded to the nurse, signaling that she was prepared for her visitor, but her face fell when she found it was none other than the Third Hokage.

                “Disappointed to see an old man, are we?” he jested, shuffling forward. Rei sighed and shook her head.

                “I’m sorry. Am I really that obvious?” she replied apologetically. “I was just…I was almost expecting someone else, is all.” Lord Third looked upon her knowingly, and for a second she almost feared that perhaps he wasn’t completely oblivious to her history after all. He asked her how she was feeling and tried to make small talk, but it was all just a big bore. “Alright, not to be blunt, but please cut the crap, Lord Third. Tell me why you’re really here.”

                The hokage paused a moment, not exactly pleased with her blunt delivery, but truly he expected nothing less from Teiko’s flesh and blood. And speaking of Teiko, he had something for her. He pulled a small parcel out from behind his back, the gift Teiko had given her. “This is long overdue” he replied. Rei wanted to ask how on earth he got his hands on that, and then interrogate him as to why he was snooping around her apartment in the first place, but the hokage shook his head and told her not to ask questions. The only thing that was important here was that she had waited far too long to open Grandma Teiko’s present, and that if he knew the old woman at all, she would be very upset to know her granddaughter had waited so long. “I’m doing you a favor, really” the hokage said.

                “Is this all, then? You just came here to prove to me you have no sense of respect for personal privacy?” she asked. She set the parcel down on the bedside table. She would open it, just not now. Not in front of the hokage. Whatever Grandma Teiko had to give her was something she would preserve for herself, a secret between grandmother and granddaughter. Not even the hokage, as important as he was, could infringe on that intimacy. The hokage shook his head.

                “No, not at all. I came here first and foremost to notify you that you have passed the training phase. Once you are healed, you are officially to start real work in the ANBU black ops.” He expected her to be far more pleased than she appeared. “What? Are you unhappy with these results?”

                “No, it’s…it’s not that. It’s just…” Rei started, averting her eyes. While unconscious, her mind had bounced to numerous places she never would’ve ventured into had she been awake. Therefore, her long and heavy nap gave her much to think about. Sucking in a deep breath, she finally asked, “Why did you assign me to the black ops? I mean, why did you _really_ assign me to the black ops? I think it’s clear that obviously you didn’t pick me for my strength or my talent. So what’s the catch, old man? What’s going on that you’re not telling me about.”

                Lord Third couldn’t help but chuckle. “You certainly are quite the perceptive one, Rei” he started. “And if you open that parcel, you will find at least part of your answer.” Rei’s eyes flitted to the little present, her heart leaping into her throat. What was he talking about? None of this made any sense. Before she could ask for an elaboration, however, the hokage continued to speak, voice descending into a far more serious tone. “You seem to underestimate your skill, Rei. Don’t be so humble. You are a fine kunoichi and your skills are worthy of the black ops. However, you’re right. That is not the only reason why I appointed you to the ANBU. You see, I appointed you to fulfill a mission, as well. I was not going to tell you right away, but I think now is as good a time as any to break the ice.” Rei blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what the old man meant. He didn’t expect her to understand right away. After all, it was a mildly complex situation that he was very certain she was very likely to even protest at first. But it needed to be said. He looked out across his domain, sucking in a deep breath, before beginning his explanation. Rei sat up in bed and listened dutifully, her heart ready to pound out of her chest.  

                “I heard there was some trouble with the final exam” Guy started the next afternoon. “Some sort of infiltration of the Forest of Death, right?”

                Kakashi nodded once, walking alongside the young man. “It was nothing I couldn’t handle.”

                _Just what I’d expect from my number one rival!_ Guy thought to himself. Why did Kakashi have to be so cool? “So what was it like? Who were you up against? I want all the details!”

                Kakashi sighed. He really wasn’t in the mood to explain everything in depth right now. “Let’s just say you shouldn’t let old flames burn longer than they need to” he replied. Guy paused for a moment, dumbstruck.

                “That tells me nothing!” he finally shouted, racing after Kakashi. “Come on, at least tell me how the new recruits did?!”

                “One of them was seriously injured. She’s in the hospital right now” Kakashi replied bluntly. He didn’t want to say anything more of it, and Guy finally picked up on that. He could tell that something deeper was afoot, something he had rarely seen in effect. He had his suspicions, but he didn’t want to jump the gun. This was one situation where he knew to keep his mouth shut.

                Kakashi couldn’t get the image of her out of his head. The blood dripping down her lips, the pale complexion and dull, sunken eyes. She was like a ghost. In that moment, he knew exactly what he needed to do. He had to ensure that nothing like that ever happened again. It was too much to handle, he didn’t have the strength. He felt obligated to uphold that promise from so many years ago, to keep her safe at all costs. Especially now, after all he had been through. And yet…no. Getting close was something he could not afford. He could not run the risk of putting himself through that pain again. If anything ever happened to her…he didn’t want to think of what he would do. And so the only thing he could do was stay as far away from her as humanly possible. It had been years, anyway. There was no need to reintroduce that portion of his past back into his life. He had already buried everything deep down inside of himself. His absence in her life was a conscious decision. Now was not the time to turn back. It would just cause him too much stress. He knew it would be hard to steer clear of her completely now that she was in the ANBU with him—inevitably he would have to work with her again—but he needed to do his best. He needed to stay away from her.

                “Well? Kakashi!” Guy shouted, snapping him from his daze. “Did you hear anything I just said to you? Come on, tell me what’s going on!” Kakashi didn’t have the capacity to deal with this any further. He bid Guy a halfhearted goodbye and began walking back to his apartment. The bushy-browed ninja wouldn’t let him get away that easily, though. He knew something was up and he feared for Kakashi, truly. He needed to know what was going on. A part of him even cursed the hokage deep down inside for not letting him join the ANBU. _Not dark enough_ , his ass. Someone needed to keep tabs on him. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called after him, “Kakashi! Why don’t you want to talk to me? Is it something I’ve said? Come on, speak to me!” and then, after a few minutes, “Kakashi, you’ve been so cold since you joined ANBU! Talk to me! It’s like you’re numb!”

                A smirk touched Kakashi’s lips as he continued walking away. “Numb, huh?” he murmured to himself. That was funny. Numb. Guy had no idea. Deep down, this was the least numb he had felt in years.


	11. Love Drunk

The sun slowly set behind the buildings in Konoha, bathing everything in a warm glow. Kakashi strolled the streets, hands in his pockets and a tired look in his eyes. He just wanted to go home and spend the night in bed with a good book, but then again, these days when did he not? He felt as if he scarcely had the energy to do anything other than work and even then, his energy was quickly draining.

His heart ached as he passed Kaminoki, the “closed” sign hanging from the window. He peered inside anyways, at all the shelves and the scrolls on the walls and the bare counter, thinking of the days when he’d visit frequently. Now he barely stepped foot inside. The longer he peered, the more his mind began to wander until he envisioned daylight filtering through the room, customers wandering about, and a gangly ninja restocking shelves. Time had passed far quicker than he ever imagined it could. He still couldn’t shake the image of Rei, his childhood friend, now a strong and capable member of the ANBU. The look on her face when she laid in his lap, blood seeping out of her wounds. _And if I have to die, at least I’ll die nobly. I’ll die proud. I’ll die a ninja_.

He must have stood there daydreaming for far longer than he thought, for when he turned around the sky had turned completely dark and the streetlights overhead flickered. He didn’t want to think about her anymore. He didn’t want to see her, feel her, bother with her. It was far too painful. She was a very small detail of a part of his life that had long since died. There was no use robbing graves of their bones.

As he headed back to his apartment, his eyes landed upon a lowly lounge with a small sign propped up outside on an easel advertising a deal on sake. He paused a moment, staring at the minimalist entry, contemplating. He really wasn’t much of a drinker but at this point, he wasn’t sure he cared. He was tired and there was nothing else to do and alcohol would at least take the edge off. He kicked at the ground, sighed, and slowly walked inside.

The place wasn’t too packed, except for a couple groups of young shinobi and drifters seated at tables against the far wall. He didn’t pay much attention to them, sliding onto a barstool and ordering himself a drink. Smooth jazz played in the background. The bartender slid him his drink and stopped to watch him a moment. Perhaps he was wondering if the ninja would take his mask off for his sake. Kakashi swirled the liquid around, watching it slosh against the sides of its container, and rested his chin in his hands.

“What’s a guy like you doing in a place like this all alone, huh?” the bartender asked, slapping his bar towel over his shoulder and leaning forward.

Kakashi chuckled softly and shook his head. “Just decided to wander in for a minute” he replied.

“Well, take your time. Feel free to stay as long as you’d like, but we close at 2” the bartender said.

“That’s alright” Kakashi said quietly. “I don’t plan on staying that long.” The bartender nodded and returned to cleaning the rest of the dirty glasses. The light directly above his head flickered, a fly whizzing around under the glass lampshade. Kakashi looked down at his reflection in the sake, staring at his eye and his headband and his hair and his mask. His mind wandered from one thing to the other with no real pattern or purpose.  What was he doing? Why did he even decide to step foot in a place like this? It was so unlike him. But then again, he was so unlike himself. It wasn’t until Rei came along, reunited after so many years, that he realized how unfamiliar he was to himself compared to who he once was. But maybe that was just life. Maybe it was human nature to grow cynical and detached as you got older. After all, wonder and light only last for so long before cruel reality snuffs them out. There was no such thing as happiness in adulthood.

Sighing, Kakashi reached up to pull down his mask and take a swig of his drink but was immediately interrupted by a shriek at the other end of the room. Startled, he spilled his drink into his lap with widened eyes.

“Who do you think you’re calling an idiot?!” a voice drunkenly shouted. A chill ran down Kakashi’s spine. He knew that voice. No, this could not be happening. Maybe if he just ignored it, it would go away.

“There’s only one idiot in this room” another voice, a man, slurred back in response.

“Yeah, and who would that be?” the first person replied, pinning her hands to her hips and eyeing the man.

“You!” the man shouted, bursting out into maniacal laughter. The first person huffed, shoulders dropping, before groaning and screeching a battle cry.

“You elitist—” she began, slamming him with a barrage of curse words and insults that dare not to be repeated. “You take everything back or else you’ll feel my— _hic—_ wrath!”

“Your wrath?” the man laughed, sloshing his drink around in his hand. “Is that a threat?”

The young woman climbed across the table, sticking her face real close and staring at him with narrowed eyes. “That’s a promise” she snarled. The man stared at her for a moment before bursting out into hysterical laughter, banging his fist on the table.

“You’re so cute when you’re angry, you know that?” he replied, cupping her cheek with his hand and pulling her close so that his breath, ripe with the stink of alcohol, was hot against her lips. “What’s the worst you can do to me? You’re, what? 150? 155?”

Clenching her jaw, the young woman growled and prepared to throw the first punch until— “Alright, you two, let’s just try to calm down” a voice interrupted. The young woman looked up to find the blurry figure of a man, tall with white hair and a mask covering most of his face. Kakashi really didn’t want to get involved, but he had no choice now. The woman blinked at him, her bangs covering one eye, before glaring.

“And what do you want?” she asked drunkenly, poking him in the chest. “What’s a guy like you doing stepping into a fight like this?”

Her date gripped her chin and forced him to look at her. “You know this guy?” he asked angrily.

Kakashi raised his hands in surrender. “Now, listen, I’m not here to cause any trouble.” He knew he shouldn’t have stepped in. The woman ignored his words.

“This guy! Oh yeah, I know _all about_ this guy” she said, breaking free of the man’s grasp. She crawled back across the table and slumped down into her seat, taking another swig of her drink. “I’ve known this guy for years and he doesn’t even so much as send me a get well card! I was in the hospital for, like, three million days and he didn’t even do nothing! I thought him and I were friends! But nooooo, he has to go and start…ignoring me like he’s better than me!” she explained, stumbling over her words. Then, turning back to Kakashi, she added with a waving point of her finger, “Well, guess what? I’m just as good as you, Mr. Hatake! So good, in fact, that I got elected to AN—”

Kakashi leapt forward and cupped his hand over her mouth before she could finish. ANBU was a secretive organization, and he didn’t need her drunk ass running around announcing her membership to the whole world. A sudden, terrible thought then crossed his mind: how many drunken nights had she spent so far revealing her affiliation? He wondered if the village council knew what she was doing, if they feared this would happen from the start.

“Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” the man asked, standing up. “Don’t you put your hands on her!” he shouted in accusation. The young woman struggled in his grip. Kakashi rolled his eyes and shook his head.

“And what are you to her?” he asked. The man blinked a few times. Kakashi narrowed his eyes. “Do you even know her name?” Again, the man remained silent. “Just as I suspected.”

“Oh yeah? And what are _you_ to her! Why should I let you put your hands on her like that?” the man asked, getting up in Kakashi’s face. The young woman grunted and broke free of his grip.

“Hey, both of you! Shut up!” she shouted, plopping back down in her seat and crossing her arms. “Listen here, Kakashi, I don’t need you s-swoopin’ in and making a mess of my perfectly pff-pff-pleasant night, understand? I’m a big girl now! I can handle things myself!”

Kakashi sighed and stepped down from the fight. She was right. Why was he even interjecting himself into her business anyway? It was as if his body acted on its own accord. “You’re right. I’m sorry to have interrupted” he replied quietly. As he turned back to his place at the bar, however, he leaned over and murmured to the man, “By the way, she does in fact have a name and it’s Rei.” The man blinked a few times, as if the information was presented in an effort to insult his intelligence. Rei’s eyes widened, watching Kakashi depart. The copy ninja slid some money across the bar and slipped outside without another word. Rei fell back into her seat and huffed, her bangs flying upward.

“Who even was that guy? An ex-boyfriend?” the man asked. Rei rolled her eyes.

“It would take me all night to explain who Kakashi is” she slurred.

The moment he stepped outside, Kakashi stopped and questioned whether he really should’ve left her alone. But she was right, she was a big girl now. She could handle herself. She was an ANBU for Christ’s sake. She didn’t need him protecting her anymore. Not that he did a stellar job of that anyways. He looked up at the moon and the clouds overhead. He sighed and leaned back against the wall of the building. Something in his chest told him to go back inside, to rescue her anyways, but he refused. Was he really the kind of person that just abandoned his principles like that? He hoped not.

Again, however, Rei became unavoidable. Just as Kakashi was finally ready to walk home, there was the crash of breaking glass inside the bar and shrieks of panic and shock. Kakashi immediately entered danger mode, bursting back inside to find Rei swaying to and fro with a chair high above her head. The man she was with was on the ground, his nose bleeding.

“How dare you try to cop a feel, you pig!” she shouted, trying to swing the chair down to strike him. The other guests rushed to the other end of the bar, some even exiting.

“Hey, none of that! Not in my establishment!” the bartender shouted. “If you wanna fight, you take things outside!”

Of course she was starting a riot. Kakashi sighed, rubbed his temples, and swooped in to fight. In a matter of seconds, he had Rei captured. “You know, I’m actually pretty disappointed in you” he murmured as she struggled in his grip. “I thought you knew better than to start wars with other people.”

“Kakashi, get off me r-right now!” she shouted. The rest of the guests in the bar watched in awe as he tied her up with his own chakra and swung her over his shoulder squirming.

“Sorry about the chaos” he apologized to the bartender. “I’ll pay for the damages.”

“It’s quite alright” the bartender replied tiredly. “Just get her out of here.” Kakashi nodded, slipping through the exit.

Once outside, he dropped her down onto the ground and released her. A part of him expected her to run but she didn’t. She just glared up at him like a teenager caught smoking behind the bleachers. “Where do you get off trying to save me like that?”

“Just doing my good deed for the day is all” Kakashi replied with a smile. Rei rolled her eyes, forcing herself up off the ground.

“Listen, Hatake, I told you before a-and I’ll say it again: I don’t need you swooping in and s-saving me all the time” she complained.

Kakashi nodded, his hands on his hips. “Alrighty then, so I’m guessing you can find your way home yourself.” And with that, he began to walk away.

Rei watched him drunkenly, rolling her eyes as she started off in the opposite direction. She felt like the entire earth was rocking beneath her feet. Everything was blurry and slow.

This was insane. What was he doing? Kakashi did the math in his head, trying to figure out how enough time could’ve possibly passed for her to be drinking in the first place. He hated how awkward he felt around her now, a ghost from his past progressing through a life of her own. Again, something inside his chest tugged. He peered over his shoulder to look back at her, stumbling down the street. Was she really coherent enough to walk home on her own? He thought of the sketchy people that wandered the streets late at night, and what they would do to a girl in her state. He watched for a moment longer as she cupped her hand over her mouth, stumbled toward a bush, and vomited violently. And then her eyes grew heavy and she fell against the wall, sliding toward the ground. He was by her side in a flash, shaking his head before hoisting her up onto his back and carrying her home.

She rested her head on his shoulder, eyes closed, and wrapped her arms around him tightly. Sweat beaded on her brow and upper lip and he prayed she wouldn’t throw up on him. And then she sighed, and began mumbling trying to get his attention, “Hey…’Kashi…?” she asked. He indicated that he was listening. “Guess what…?”

“What?”

“Someday…I’m gonna be a suuuupppeerrrrr strong ninjaaaaaa….and there’s nothing youuuuu can do about iiiiitttt” she muttered in sing-song, her one arm falling down across his chest. He couldn’t help but chuckle.

“You think so?” he asked. She nodded. “Well, I’d hate to burst your bubble, but I think it’s important to let you know that you’re already a ninja, Rei.”

The kunoichi laughed tiredly, replying “Seeeeee??? I told youuuu…easy peeeeaassssyyy..” Despite the utter nonsense that she continued to ramble about, he couldn’t help but begin thinking. He had been absent from her life for so long, and she had changed so much. There were so many things he didn’t know about her now: how her training went, who her friends were, if her parents and grandmother were doing alright, if she ever had a first date, a first boyfriend, a first kiss. He didn’t even know where she lived, which proved perhaps the most imminent piece of necessary information. He turned to ask her but by then, she was completely passed out and he didn’t dare wake her up. She probably couldn’t even remember her address, anyway. He wasn’t sure whether he really wanted to do this, but it seemed he had no choice. He walked slowly toward the dormitories where ninja otherwise homeless lived, trudged up the stairs, and unlocked the door to his apartment.

Kakashi’s place was small, just a single room with a communal bathroom down the hall and a kitchen on the lower levels. It wasn’t perfect, but for a single man who was barely even home, it was good enough. He pried Rei off of his back and laid her down on the bed, dragging the trash can beside her in case she needed to vomit again. And then, like a child, he tucked her in and got himself situated on the floor.

He closed his eyes, hoping to fall asleep quickly, but to no avail. Every little sound, every creak of the floor and slam of a door, had him on edge. And all he could think about was how Rei was asleep in his bed. This was absolutely crazy. His head was spinning with all of these thoughts of when they were kids, of how close they were, of how he felt about her and then of their years of distance, of her heartbreak, and now her strength and accomplishment. He could hear her shallow breathing, her sighing, the creaking of the mattress as she rolled over. His heart raced.

No matter what he tried, he kept tossing and turning unable to get her out of his head. He sat up and squinted at the clock. 3:24am. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes drifting over to Rei fast asleep. For a moment, he didn’t even recognize her. God, how had she grown up so fast? How had the time already passed so quickly? He had been absent for so much of it. He thought of what could’ve been—coming home to her waiting for him, showing her everything he had learned, telling her about all the missions he had gone on, training with her and competing with her to be the best that they could be. His stomach churned. She murmured something in her sleep and he crept closer to make sure she was alright. Her brows furrowed as if she was having a nightmare and he was almost tempted to try and comfort her back to peace. His hands grew unsteady being this close to her in the quiet and the darkness. Something strange and uncomfortable began to form in the pit of his chest, almost familiar feelings from a hazy childhood dream. He willed them away but was unsuccessful—they wouldn’t budge. He was stuck with them now. He laid back down and tried to comprehend it, figure out what exactly it was, but was unsuccessful. All he knew for certain was that she was here and it was his fault and he was terrified and unsure and that there was no way around it now: she was back in his life and unavoidable.

Did he even want her in his life again? He wasn’t sure. Did she even want him back in her life? Again, not sure. But somehow fate and the hokage and skill and talent had all shoved them back together. What did this mean for them? Were they supposed to try and rekindle what they once had? Kakashi didn’t think he could do it. He couldn’t stand to let anyone else close again. He couldn’t stand to lose anyone else. So then why the hell did he even do this? He couldn’t find a definitive answer. This was so unlike him, or was it just like him? The ponderings on his own identity crept back. It was as if his body had acted on its own accord, walking after her and scooping her up and bringing her back home. He couldn’t comprehend it. This was simultaneously the best and worst decision he could’ve possibly made.

Come morning, Rei groaned awake, her head pounding and her vision blurry. What even happened last night? She scanned the room, something feeling off. It took all of two seconds for it to hit her: she was in someone else’s apartment. Her mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario, looking for clues as to who might’ve kidnapped her and reaching down to make sure her underwear was still on. She knew she never should’ve gone out drinking in the first place. God, the hokage would be so pissed. She slowly propped herself up on her elbows, rubbed her eyes, looked around. There was a chest in the corner, a desk against the other wall. A tall bookshelf loomed overhead. Behind her sat an alarm clock and a framed photograph.

Rei was the only person in the room, meaning she could just as easily sneak out without anyone trying to stop her. It was her only hope. She did not want to confront the situation. She swung her legs over the side of the bed, stood up unbalanced, forced the window open, tried to slip outside. She would’ve managed it, too, had she not been hungover. Instead, her head was spinning and her stomach was upside down and it was so bright outside and holy shit, wait a second, was this her apartment building? And then, just as she had one foot out the window, the door creaked open. Her captor had returned. A wave of terror rushed over her as she grabbed a kunai from the nightstand and launched it at the door, hoping to maybe blind her kidnapper. Unfortunately, she still couldn’t see straight and her aim was off and this guy was skilled enough to catch the knife mid-air anyway.

“I thought we did our killing after breakfast” he commented, tossing the kunai onto his desk. He had a tray of food in one hand, approaching slowly. He eyed her up and down for a moment and then cocked a brow, adding, “A little ambitious for a hangover, aren’t we?” Rei suddenly realized she was still straddling the windowsill, and not only that but her pants were off in front of none other than Kakashi Hatake. She swung her leg back over the edge and took a seat on the bed, gathering the blanket around her waist to cover herself.

“Alright, Kakashi, cut the crap. What kind of sick joke is this? What’s going on, and where am I? And for the love of all that is holy, where the hell are my pants?” she asked. Kakashi set the tray down beside her and took a seat. He looked at her a moment before sucking in a deep breath and explaining everything that had happened the night before, or at least what he was aware of. The more he spoke, the more Rei felt as if she was going to implode upon herself. Now she really knew she never should’ve gone out drinking. All she wanted was to loosen up and relax after a long day but instead she just ended up with even more problems.

Once Kakashi had finished his explanation, Rei nodded slowly, unsure of what else to say. She eyed an orange on the tray, unsure if this food was for just Kakashi or if he intended to share. He pushed the tray closer to her in a silent answer. She nodded once and began peeling the orange slowly, really digging her fingers into it. It was the only thing she knew to do to suppress her current discomfort and anxiety. Kakashi tried not to stare at her for fear of making her even more uncomfortable than she clearly already was. This was such a mistake, but then again, wouldn’t it have been worse leaving her to fend for herself? Putting her at risk of waking up in the bed of an unkind stranger, if she even woke up at all? A shiver ran down his spine. Their hazy pasts loomed over their heads.

Before anything more could be thought or said, there was a knock at the door. Kakashi’s eyes widened. _Shit_. How could he have forgotten? Rei looked to him frantically but before she could say anything, he was urging her under the bed. She didn’t know what was going on but her heart was pounding and she was terrified of who may be stopping by this early in the morning. Kakashi looked at her apologetically before rising and answering the door.

“Kakashi! There you are. For a moment I thought maybe you were sleeping in” a deep voice answered. Was that…? No, it couldn’t be, could it?

“No, just getting ready to head out, actually” Kakashi replied.

“Well, good because if you haven’t forgotten, today is the day I beat you” the man replied. Rei scooted toward the edge of the bed for a better look. All she could see past the door, however, was a thumbs up from their mystery guest.

“Oh? Was that this morning?” Kakashi asked. The man nodded. “I completely forgot” the copy ninja feigned ignorance. “Guy, do you think we could do this another day?” Just as Rei suspected. She knew that voice and aggravating enthusiasm anywhere.

“What’s the matter, Kakashi? You afraid you won’t measure up to me?” Guy offered, flashing a grin.

“I suppose you could say that” Kakashi replied after a moment of silence. “Listen, today isn’t exactly the best day to do this. I kind of have to be somewhere.”

“Oh?” Guy asked. There was something suspicious going on here, he could just smell it. He peered into the room, eyes landing on the tray of food. Guy had never actually seen Kakashi eat, so that was questionable enough. But then his eyes wandered and landed on a pair of pants on the floor, far too small to possibly be Kakashi’s. A sly grin spread across Guy’s face. Kakashi followed his eyes slowly to the garment, a surge of panic coursing through him. “Say no more, my friend! I know exactly what’s going on here” Guy then said.

“W-what?” Kakashi stammered. “Wait a second, no, this isn’t what it looks like.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me! I understand, a man has needs” Guy continued, slapping his hand to Kakashi’s shoulder proudly. “There’s no shame in indulging a little bit from time to time! I knew this day would come eventually, anyway. Those books of yours can only really do so much to satisfy a man’s needs.”

By now, Kakashi’s face was turning bright red underneath his mask. This was not the route he wanted things go down this morning but now his mind couldn’t stop. Vivid scenes from those Makeout Paradise books began flashing through his head, superimposed with Rei in the role of the female lead. The entire scene played out in his head, Rei falling to her knees, her breasts spilling out of her shirt, pleading with him, “I’m losing you and in doing so, I am lost!” By the time his mind reached the dirtiest of places, he knew this needed to end.

“Well, I’ll see you later, Guy! Let me know how that new team of yours works out! I’ll talk to you later, bye!” Kakashi rambled, shoving the man further into the hallway and slamming the door. The minute he was gone, Kakashi sunk onto the bed and rested his forehead in his hand with a sigh.

“Jeez, didn’t know you and Guy still kept in touch” Rei suddenly said, peeking her head out from under the bed. Kakashi startled, his face burning. He didn’t think he could look at her now. Not after those insane Makeout Paradise visions. She inched her way out from under the bed completely, sitting up with her back against the bed, and smoothed her hair down. “So, uh, what’s that important thing you need to go do today?” she asked after a moment of silence.

“Important thing?” he asked, confused. Then, nodding, he replied, “Oh, I don’t actually have anything particularly important to do today. I only said that so Guy wouldn’t try to challenge me again.”

Rei nodded slowly, understanding. He and Guy always did have a bit of a rivalry, even if it was fabricated. She remembered when they were young, and Guy was so desperate to prove he was good enough. Apparently some things really never do change. After a few more awkward moments of silence, Rei glanced to the clock on the bookshelf. Almost 9am.

“Well, I guess I better start heading home. Wouldn’t want you to be stuck with my hungover ass all day” she commented, forcing herself up. Her balance was still off, however, and Kakashi rushed to her side to steady her.

“Are you sure?” he asked, but she nodded, assuring him she’d be fine. “Can you make it back alright yourself?” he asked. He didn’t know how far away she lived, but he didn’t particularly want her stumbling down the streets and puking in trash cans all over the village.

“Kakashi, I promise, I’ll be fine” she insisted. “I’m a big girl now, I can handle things myself.” Kakashi’s mind flickered back to the night before, when she said that very same thing to him at the bar. He wondered how often she had to say that, or if she’s just had it rehearsed in the event of this very particular set of circumstances.

“At least let me walk you to the door” he urged as she slipped her pants back on. Though it was unnecessary, she couldn’t say no to him a third time. She stood back up and together they exited his apartment, but he paused a moment when he noticed her walking down the hall in the complete opposite direction of the stairs. Maybe she was too hungover still to fully understand the direction of things, but then she pulled out a key and unlocked a door down the hall. His jaw dropped, watching with wide, confused eyes as she bid him goodbye and slipped inside.

So she lived a few doors down, and was part of ANBU now. As Kakashi entered back into his own apartment, he pressed his forehead against the wall and sighed. It was official. He was done for. Now she was _really_ unavoidable.


	12. Butterflies at the Mailbox

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What have I gotten into this time around  
> I know that I had sworn I'd never trust anyone again but I didn't have to  
> You had me at hello  
> -You Had Me @ Hello, A Day to Remember  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LeYixVlLe0

                The afternoon sunlight shone through the curtains and bathed Rei’s apartment in an ethereal glow. She could see the dust particles dancing in the rays, her fingers mingling with them in boredom and childish fascination. She wanted to think that she was just being uncharacteristically poetic but at the end of the day, she knew she was just procrastinating. It had been almost a month since that adventure in the Forest of Death, and two weeks since she woke up in Kakashi’s apartment. Kakashi, who lived right down the hall. Who gave her anxiety every fucking time she stepped out of her house.

                Had she been five years old again, being neighbors with Kakashi would not have been a problem. She grew up right next door, and yet somehow now this same circumstance was a death sentence. She was awkward, nervous, unsure of herself and her biggest fear was that everyone could see it. She had made a handful of friends in her time here so far, and a handful of unsavory acquaintances, one of which included Miss Flirty from Ishoku, whose name she discovered was Tenshi. Tenshi lived a few doors down, right between Rei and Kakashi, which unsettled the redhead. She’d catch the bouncing brunette shoving her breasts in Kakashi’s face almost every day at the mailbox, trying to drum up a conversation. _Give it a rest, he’s not interested. At this rate he ought to get a restraining order against you_ , Rei thought to herself but knew better than to open her mouth. She hated how furious she felt whenever that bimbo would try to reel Kakashi in. It wasn’t like it was Rei’s job to hover over him or something. Except that it was.

                As she sat in her lonely little apartment, she thought back to what the hokage had told her in the hospital. His explanation as to why he assigned her to the black ops. He folded his hands in front of him as he explained, “There have been some concerns as of late for the wellbeing of one of my shinobi. I’m not going to beat around the bush about who. It’s Kakashi Hatake.” The minute the words spilled from his mouth, Rei’s heart leapt into her throat and she sat up a little straighter, clearly intrigued. The hokage continued. “I was approached by a close friend of his, Might Guy, who plead to be let into the ANBU to keep an eye on him. He was concerned that Kakashi’s mental state is rather…dare I say _fragile_ at the moment. He has apparently grown rather cold and heartless, much to the dismay of his friends. I could not with an ounce of sanity accept Guy’s pleas for reasons I’m sure you are well aware of, but felt as if his concerns should not go untreated. And so I previewed my files and I was rather impressed with your reports from the past couple of years and decided perhaps you were the right woman for the job. After all, I am aware that you and Kakashi have a bit of a history, yes?” Here, he gave her a knowing smile as if he had tapped into her psyche and vacuumed out all of her childhood memories. “The minute you two were put in the same room together, I knew I had made a smart decision. I saw something immediately change within Kakashi, and for the better. I think being around you will have a very good effect on him. He needs a little light in his life, and I think you are just the thing to do it.”

                Despite Rei’s protests, the hokage wouldn’t hear of it. There was no way out. She was stuck watching over Kakashi, like some sort of twisted guardian, as if he was at risk of killing himself or something equally ridiculous. There was no way in hell Kakashi could be suicidal. She knew him long enough to know he wasn’t the type to consider killing himself. After all, he always said he refused to become his father and he never did like breaking promises. Or at least the Kakashi she knew didn’t. She didn’t know a damn thing about this new Kakashi. Truthfully, he scared her. It was like someone had eaten her childhood best friend and inhabited the corpse, traipsing around pretending to be someone they were not. Either way, the hokage seemed to have faith in her and there was no room to argue. She was now tasked with protecting the boy who had once promised to protect her. What a sick, demented turn of events.

                As Rei gazed out to the world below, she wished she had someone to talk to about all of this. Of all the new friends she had made, though, none of them were trustworthy enough to know about this. There was only one person she could ever open up to with things like this, and that was Grandma Teiko. Rei wondered what she was doing, if she was alright. She hadn’t seen or heard from her since the morning she left. It broke her heart to think they had been separated for so long, but Grandma Teiko understood Rei was doing what she needed to do and the redhead felt better knowing she had the old woman’s support. Her eyes drifted to the little parcel on the desk nearby. She still had yet to open it. She knew Grandma Teiko would surely whack her upside the head with her cane if she found out, but there was something mysterious and significant about it that made Rei hesitate. She was waiting for the perfect moment, but how was she to know when that was? All she knew was that she didn’t want to mess this up, that she wanted to honor whatever present Grandma Teiko gave her in the way that it deserved. As she stared at the little package, however, something inside her began to take root. A curiosity, a hunger. Perhaps now, in the sunlight with the dancing dust and the overall aesthetic quality of the moment, was the perfect time.

                Before she had a chance to second guess herself, Rei lunged forward and pulled the little package into her lap. She turned it over once, twice, three times before slowly unwrapping it. She wanted to be cautious, especially if whatever was inside was breakable (if she hadn’t broken it already—she wasn’t exactly the most trustworthy with delicate things). And then it was there, right in front of her, the thing she had been anticipating all this time. She lifted it up gently, turned it over in her hands and inspected it. Before her was a beautiful kanzashi, six inches long with a small string of beads and yellow clay peony dangling from the end. Nothing too overwhelming, it had a quiet, sophisticated sense of beauty, unsuspecting. Rei lightly tapped her fingertip to the hair pin’s end, drawing a tiny bit of blood. Perfectly sharp. There was a note folded up along with it, as well. Rei gingerly sat the present down beside her before unfolding the paper and reading the brief message. _This has been sitting around in my boxes for ages, but I decided you could probably get more use out of it than I ever will. Wear it well, and use it even better._

                Rei had barely noticed until then that she had started to cry. She wiped away the tears so as not to smudge the letter, folding it back up and placing it someplace safe. Then she cradled the kanzashi in her hand again before leaning toward a tiny mirror on her desk and strategically placing at the base of her ponytail. It complimented her hair rather nicely, she thought. The pale yellow against the fiery tint of her hair, and in this light, reminded her of the licking flames: strong, unrelenting, powerful. A true embodiment of the will of fire. Something in her chest shifted and she found herself feeling a strange sense of deep-rooted confidence, the promise of an entrusted legacy. She would think of Grandma Teiko whenever she wore it.

                “Guy, I told you already, there isn’t anything to tell” Kakashi said, walking through Konoha alongside his rival. It was the perfect afternoon, made perhaps a little less perfect by Guy’s consistent interrogations. “If there was something going on, don’t you think I would—” he started, but then froze mid-sentence at the sight of a familiar face exiting the apartment complex. When Guy turned back around, Kakashi was nowhere to be found.

                Rei stared down at the stack of books in hand, set on returning them to the library, when she nearly smacked right into none other than Might Guy. He flashed a winning smile, waving at her. “Hello, Rei! Wonderful weather we’re having, huh?”

                “Uh…yeah, Guy. It’s great…” Rei replied awkwardly. He was looking at her strangely and she didn’t like it. Something was going on here. From what she had gathered, wherever Guy was, Kakashi was bound to be nearby not because Kakashi liked spending time with him so much as the other way around. “So…what are you up to today?”

                “Just basking in this sunlight! Nothing like a little fresh air to really tap into the power of youth” he announced proudly. “By the way, you haven’t happened to notice anything strange going on around here, have you?”

                Rei blinked a few times. “Uh, strange?” she asked. _The only strange thing around here is you_ , she thought to herself. “What do you mean?”

                “Well, the past couple weeks Kakashi has been acting pretty weird and I plan to find out what exactly is going on. Seems he keeps disappearing out of nowhere. You haven’t happened to see anything suspicious, have you?” he asked, leaning in close as if this was confidential and peeking around at the passerby like a lunatic. The minute he mentioned Kakashi’s name, Rei’s back straightened and her stomach flipped.

                “Ha! Well you, sir, are asking the wrong girl! I don’t have a single clue what Kakashi is up to. I mean, do I look like I hang out with Kakashi? Pfft, no, I barely even know the guy! Nope, nothing strange going on here that I know of. Not a single thing. Now, if you’d excuse me, I’ve got a thing to do at a place and, oh, look at the time! I’m running late. So, uh, I better go but it was nice talking with you, Guy, and uh, I’ll see you later!” she rambled, rushing off. Anything to get out of _that_ conversation.

                Guy furrowed his brows as he watched her scurry off, calling after her, “If you do see anything suspicious, let me know! I’m determined to get to the bottom of this.” Rei turned around and bid him a quick salute before turning the corner and bolting. Guy chuckled and crossed his arms, thinking to himself how she had scarcely changed over the years. Still just as awkward and dare he say gangly as when she was a kid. Once she disappeared, Guy surveyed his surroundings before beginning to explore the village, thinking to himself about how now he really needed to devote his time to finding out what exactly was causing Kakashi to act so goddamn weird.

                The minute she was out of sight, Rei crumbled against a shop wall and sighed in relief. Hopefully that would be the last time today she would have a run-in like that. Even five minutes of Guy’s enthusiasm, with or without the threat of Kakashi, was enough to do her in for the rest of the day. Once she had regrouped, she straightened her back and turned to resume her journey…only to find herself face to face with the Copy Ninja himself. _Shit._

                He stared back at her with wide eyes, blinking a few times, both of them completely frozen. What now? Did they just keep on walking like they didn’t know one another? Did they confront the situation and say hello? It wasn’t like there were books giving detailed instructions about this sort of thing. Before anything could be said, however, Rei’s fight-or-flight instinct kicked in—unfortunately, her body involuntarily opted for fight. Without even thinking, she pulled the kanzashi from her hair and launched it toward Kakashi. He was taken aback, not expecting an attack, but caught the hair pin in mid-air before it could strike. Suddenly realizing what she had done, Rei’s mouth gaped and she stared at her opponent for a brief moment before diving into an alleyway and disappearing.

                Kakashi paused a moment, staring at the cloud of dust left behind in her wake. He could’ve been surprised, but this was really nothing new. This had been the way in which they had been interacting for the past few weeks, struggling to avoid each other in the most outlandish fashions. The only difference now is that he would have to confront her eventually. He stared down at the kanzashi in his hand and cursed under his breath. He would have to return it to her somehow.

                The entire walk back to the apartment complex, Kakashi schemed ways to get the little hair pin back to Rei without actually having to confront her. He was hyper aware of its presence in his kunai holster, terrified of breaking it and making the process that much worse. Once he entered the building, however, he got a brilliant idea. He wouldn’t have to speak to her if he could just stick the hair pin in her mailbox. He glanced around to ensure no one else was watching and then slipped the kanzashi out of the holster, carefully attempting to slide it into the mailbox. The only issue was that it wouldn’t fit. The peony charm on the end was too fat to fit through the narrow envelope slot. The only way this could possibly work would be if he broke into the mailbox himself.

                Kakashi was not one to enjoy breaking the law. He knew busting into someone else’s mailbox was an invasion of privacy, and that he would have to pay for the damages himself, so instead he stood there staring at the dial for a moment before attempting to decode the lock. There was an infinite number of combinations, but only a few of them were likely candidates based on what he knew about Rei. Or at least what he thought he knew. It had been so long since he had spent any quality time with her, he began to wonder if everything he knew still applied. Either way, there was one thing that definitely remained the same: she had a quick temper, which meant he would have to work fast in order to avoid her catching him.

                He worked diligently until he felt a pair of eyes boring holes into his back, the chakra of someone behind him. His body tensed, fearing it was Rei, and then was startled by a booming, bouncing voice. “Hi, Kakashi!” Tenshi greeted flirtatiously. His back shot ramrod straight as she skipped around to face him, accentuating her breasts in the usual fashion. Kakashi’s face turned bright red, his eyes darting straight to her chest. He knew she was doing this on purpose.

                “Uh, hello, Tenshi” he greeted awkwardly. Her eyes immediately darted to the kanzashi in his hand, her face lighting up.

                “Oh, wow, Kakashi, that’s beautiful!” she gushed, snatching it away from him to inspect it herself. “Yellow isn’t really my color but that’s alright. It’s the thought that counts, isn’t it?” she giggled. Kakashi blinked. It took him a minute to understand where she was going with this but once he did, his heart leapt into his throat.

                “Uh, Tenshi…I hate to break it to you, but that’s not for you” he replied, extending a hand to invite her to give it back. She looked at him despondently, not quite understanding what he meant. How could something so beautiful not be a gift to her? She couldn’t wrap her brain around it. And then a malicious smirk touched her lips as she noticed the number of the mailbox he was in front of, one that was not his own.

                “You know, I bet the hokage would love to hear about how one of his best men was caught trying to steal someone else’s mail” she threatened.

                “Tenshi, this is not what it looks like” Kakashi replied back, trying keep his cool. God, she was frustrating.

                “I’m not saying I’m going to tell on you. I’m also not saying that I believe this isn’t mine” Tenshi said, toying with the kanzashi in her hands. She tapped the tip to test its sharpness, grinning in satisfaction. It would make such a nice weapon.

                Kakashi crossed his arms and stared down at her. “I’m not going to play these games.”

                “What games?” Tenshi feigned ignorance, squeezing her breasts together to exaggerate their size. Kakashi refused to let his eyes wander.

                “You know exactly what you’re doing” he said. “I’m not going to fall for it. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”

                “Well, isn’t everything better hard?” she asked, cocking her head to the side and smirking. _Oh, boy_.

                “Uh…” Kakashi chuckled nervously. “That’s not exactly what I meant.”

                “Oh?” Tenshi asked. “Then what did you mean?”

                “I hope something along the lines of bashing skulls into concrete” a voice then called from the doorway. Kakashi and Tenshi turned to find Rei standing before them, two large bags stuffed to the brim with groceries. Her fists clenched the straps tightly. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Her eyes darted from Tenshi to Kakashi and back, though she refused to look the Copy Ninja in the eyes.

                “You, uh, you left this behind. I was just trying to return it to you” Kakashi replied, snatching the kanzashi from Tenshi’s hand while she had her guard down and handing it back to Rei. The redhead stole it away quickly, setting her bags down and sticking it back into the base of her ponytail.

                “You’re giving that to _her_ of all people?” Tenshi complained.

                “It was mine to begin with, idiot” Rei seethed. Then, turning back to Kakashi, she asked, “And you were trying to break into my mailbox why?”

                “Uh, well, I thought maybe it would be easier to just put the kanzashi in there. After all, I didn’t know when you’d be back and I thought this way might just be more convenient” Kakashi explained. Rei eyed him suspiciously, nodding slowly before motioning for him to politely step out of the way so she could check her mail. She wasn’t sure which was worse: Kakashi trying to break into her mailbox or the confrontation. Either way, she got the kanzashi back and that was all that mattered. All that was left to do was just get her mail and then rush back to her apartment to hide and pretend like none of this ever happened. 

                Tenshi watched the redhead with a sharp gaze, judging her every move. After a few seconds, however, she got bored and resolved to be on her way but not before first grazing Kakashi’s arm and whispering some sort of seductive invitation along the lines of “Let’s have dinner sometime.” Kakashi’s face turned bright red in response as he watched her walk out the door. Rei glared at him for a split second, shaking her head. Unbelievable. She really wished she had taken that opportunity to bash Tenshi’s head in.

                Once Kakashi finally regrouped, he turned to find Rei trying to jam the envelopes into one of her grocery bags. He felt strange watching her struggle and not doing anything about it, so rubbing the back of his neck, he awkwardly asked, “Do you need help with those?”

                “It’s fine, I’ve got it” Rei replied, refusing to look him in the eye. She didn’t want to make the situation any worse than it needed to be. However, fate had a way of ruining things all on it’s own. The moment she lifted her grocery bags, the bottoms exploded and all of her purchases scattered across the floor. Rei’s face went deadpan, muttering curse words under her breath.

                “Are you sure you don’t need help?” Kakashi asked again. Rei rolled her eyes as she knelt down and began gathering up her things. Before she could protest, Kakashi leaned down to help. They sat there in silence for a few long moments, trying to gather as many cups of instant ramen as they could carry, before finally the Copy Ninja broke the silence. “It looks like you have a stowaway” he replied, pointing to one of the cups on the ground. Confused, Rei turned to find a fat, black caterpillar with lots of tiny red horns scooting around the rim.

                Rei blinked a few times, unsure of what to make of this. Her mind warped back to childhood, sitting in the front yard next to a young Kakashi as she tried to catch all the bugs and worms she could find. She’d name all of them and show them off to her best friend, who would chuckle at her like she was ridiculous. But then again, she was ridiculous. She was stupid and innocent back then. Nowadays, there was no room for such things. Huffing her bangs out of her face, she placed her index finger in front of the creature, an invitation for a ride, and transported him to the leaf of a potted plant in the corner of the room. She knew sticking him back outside would’ve been ideal, but this was the best she could manage right now in her panicked, preoccupied state. It would just have to suffice.

                Kakashi helped her carry her things to her apartment, watching her fumble with the key before finally unlocking the door and kicking it open. She trudged inside, dropping everything onto the unmade bed. He blinked a few times as he took a quick survey of her place. The entire room was a complete mess, and yet somehow none of it was at all surprising. He remembered her bedroom as a child with half-read books lying about everywhere and toys scattered across the floor. It was nice to see that this was one other aspect of her that never changed. He tiptoed around the clutter and laid down his pile beside hers on the bed, and then the two of them stood there awkwardly for a moment or two. “Well, I guess I better be going” he finally said, walking back towards the door. Rei nodded once, following close behind as if she was trying to push him out of her apartment without touching him.

                “Uh, thanks for the help. And for returning my kanzashi” she replied, again not looking in his eyes. He nodded a quick “You’re welcome” before stepping out into the hallway and making his way to his own apartment. Before he left completely, however, Rei sucked in a deep breath and called after him, “B-by the way, Guy was looking for you earlier. Said something about you acting strange or something, I don’t know.”

                Kakashi paused, looking back at her. “Really?” he asked. Rei nodded. “Hmm” he thought for a minute, then asked, “Do you think I’ve been acting strange?” Rei shook her head vigorously. “I didn’t think I was acting strange either.”

                “Uh, well good. Then we’re on the same page” Rei said. Then, after a few moments of awkward silence between them, she then asked, “Do you think I’ve been acting strange?”

                “You?” Kakashi repeated. “No, not at all. Perfectly normal. If anything, a little boring, even.”

                “Good” Rei nodded. “That’s…that’s good.” Another few long moments of awkward silence before Rei sucked in a deep breath and Kakashi nodded, hands in his pockets.

                “Well, I better get going. I have something to take care of but it was good talking with you” he said, inching his way back to his apartment.

                “I agree” Rei replied. “I suppose I’ll see you around.” Kakashi nodded once, then unlocked his apartment door and slipped inside. The moment he was out of sight, Rei slammed her door shut and pressed her back against it, burying her face in her hands. She could feel all the blood rush to her cheeks. She groaned and slid onto the floor in defeat. It was official. She was in hell.

                The clock read 7:02am. Kakashi groaned and rolled over as a knock sounded at his door. Pulling his mask up over his face, he trudged over to find Guy standing there jogging in place, fully energized. “Alright, Kakashi, you have put this off for far too long! Today is the day I finally beat you!” he announced. Kakashi stared at the man, deadpan, for a few seconds. He should’ve known this was coming. Guy had been begging for him to do this for weeks, he couldn’t procrastinate for much longer. But then again, Kakashi was willing to try his luck.

                “I’m not really feeling it this morning, Guy” he said tiredly. Guy blinked at him, then furrowed his bushy brows in suspicion.

                “This is the fourth time this week you’ve rejected my invitation” he said. Kakashi trudged back into his apartment and sat on the edge of his bed, leaving his door open as a silent signal that Guy was welcome to step foot inside if he so desired. The enthusiastic jonin took the offer and leaned against Kakashi’s desk. “You’ve been disappearing all over town, you’ve been cold and distant. What’s going on with you?”

                “Nothing” Kakashi replied, trying to convince Guy he was telling the truth. “Everything is perfectly fine, Guy. Don’t you worry.”

                Cocking a brow, Guy stared back at his friend harder. “How do I know you’re telling the truth? You’ve been acting pretty weird lately. And, you know, come to think of it, Rei has been acting kind of strange, too.” The minute he said her name, Kakashi’s back straightened.

                “W-what do you mean?” he asked.

                “Well, I ran into her the other day after you disappeared and she seemed pretty flustered, if you ask me. Like she was in quite a hurry to get someplace” Guy explained.  “I told her to keep an eye out and let me know if she saw anything weird going on.”

                “How do you know she was acting any differently than normal? Maybe she really did just have someplace to get to” Kakashi pondered. Guy thought on this for a moment, shaking his head.

                “I don’t know, but something is going on and I’m determined to figure out what it is” Guy replied. “It would be a whole lot easier if you just told me.”

                Sighing, Kakashi rubbed his forehead and replied, “Guy, I already told you, there’s nothing going on. If you want to try to read into things, then fine, but there is nothing to tell.” Eventually, Guy had no choice but to give in and accept that Kakashi was telling the truth. He escorted Guy to the door, continuing to elaborate about how everything was fine, until he noticed Rei heading down the hallway. Kakashi’s eyes went wide, pulling Guy back inside his apartment and slamming the door shut. He pressed his face to the peephole, waiting for her to disappear.

                Guy watched with wide eyes, pointing at his best friend. “Kakashi, this is exactly what I was talking about!” Kakashi waved his hand, begging him to shut up lest Rei overhear them from inside. Guy watched, unamused, as Kakashi stood there with bated breath for a moment longer. Then, once Rei was out of sight, he sighed in relief and all the tension dispersed from his muscles. He turned to find Guy staring at him with big eyes and a pointed finger. “This is exactly what I was talking about!” he repeated. “Don’t you tell me that there’s nothing going on because that was definitely not normal.”

                Kakashi stared back at him, frozen in his place. Then, rubbing the back of his neck, he smiled innocently and replied, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

                “Shit, Naru, this is bad” Rei groaned, burying her face in her hands. “He’s absolutely unavoidable.” The blonde sat across from her inspecting her nails in boredom, awaiting the dango she had ordered.

                “I know” she said, not even looking up from her preoccupations. “And so does the whole village.”

                “Whoa, w-wait a second, what do you mean the whole village?” Rei asked, instantly picking her head up. Naru flipped her long, blonde bangs out of her face before placing her palms firmly on the table as if she was prepared to propose a serious deal.

                “You know what I mean, Rei” she said darkly. “It’s no secret that you and Kakashi have been playing this twisted little game the past few weeks. Everyone sees you do it. They cringe every time they catch either of you bolting around the corner trying to get away from one another.”

                “Is it really that bad?” the redhead asked. She glanced around to the few others in the dango shop, praying they didn’t recognize her as the girl who was always making a run for it. It wasn’t a reputation she felt she wore very well. It certainly wasn’t becoming, especially for a ninja of her distinction. Naru eyed her best friend sharply and nodded.

                “You have to stop this madness!” Naru insisted. “You’re going to drive yourself insane. The hell do you care what Kakashi thinks anyway?”

                “Hey, it’s not just me whose at fault here. He’s doing it, too!” Rei fired back defensively.

                Naru shook her head. “Yeah, I know he is but one of you has to be the bigger shinobi here. Step up, take administrative action. You are a member of the ANBU black ops for heaven’s sake, you cannot be running around playing these childish games.”

                “You sound like my mother” Rei mumbled, resting her head on the table again. She looked out to the village, to the passerby happily walking along. She wondered what it was like to be happy like that. She saw a couple holding hands and smiling. The corner of her lip tugged upward.

                Naru glanced to the pair, then back to her friend, picking her head up and forcing Rei to look at her. “Listen to me, Rei, you have to make a decision here. Either pursue Kakashi or _let it go_. I can’t handle you acting all wishy-washy like this anymore.”

                “I’m not wishy-washy…” Rei mumbled, crossing her arms. Naru glared at her, testing that statement. “Okay, fine!” the redhead finally admitted, throwing her hands up in defeat. “It’s not my fault, though. Something happened that got everything even more screwed up.” The blonde cocked an eyebrow, begging her friend to elaborate. For the next fifteen minutes, Rei unenthusiastically recounted every minute detail of the final exam of Ishoku. Her face burned bright red when she began to talk about how Kakashi had saved her, that moment together in the brush. “It felt just like we were kids again, Naru. Like nothing was in the way. The past wasn’t a problem anymore.”

                Resting her chin in her hands, Naru listened intently, a small smile teasing on her lips. “You’ve got it bad” she commented once Rei’s story was over. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

                “What…?” Rei asked. She was almost too afraid to hear the answer.

                By the time she returned to her apartment complex, the sun was just beginning to set and Rei was completely drained. As much as she loved Naru, sometimes her tough love and mild egotism was exhausting. After so many years of friendship, she thought she’d be used to it by now. Apparently not.

                The minute she stepped inside, she was met with Kakashi standing at the mailbox. Her heart leapt into her chest, contemplating turning around and maybe just breaking into her apartment through the window. Anything to avoid the confrontation. But then she thought of everything Naru had said to her that afternoon. _Pursue Kakashi or let it go_. Either way, she would have to learn to deal with him somehow. Sucking in a deep breath, she stalked forward and began quickly turning the dial on her own mailbox.

                It took Kakashi all of two seconds to realize she was there, during which he had grown rather tense. He hated being this close to her. He hated feeling her chakra, smelling the faint scent from her shampoo. Rei could feel his eyes on her, nerve-wracking and uncomfortable. She prayed he would turn away, to go about his daily life, to not pay any mind to her. Instead, he cleared his throat to get her attention.

                “Uh, hi…” she said, voice quiet. She turned to look at him, but refused to meet his eyes.

                “Hello” he replied back. Now what? What do you say to a girl you’re terrified of? To a girl who you have such a long and complicated past with? To a girl who is now merely a stranger? “Uh, anything interesting?” he finally asked, nodding to the stack of envelopes in her hand. She sifted through them quickly, then shook her head.

                “Not really. You?” she asked. He shook his head as well. This was going _great_.

                The two of them stood there in an awkward silence for what felt like ages, until suddenly a crackling noise captured their attention. On the defense, Rei dropped her mail and whipped out her kunai, searching for the source of the sound. Kakashi stood by, far less hasty than her but still prepared to attack should the sound be from an intruder. Finally, however, he noticed something moving within the potted plant in the corner. “Look. There” he said, pointing in the direction. The two of them crept forward slowly. The nearer they got, the clearer they were able to make out a chrysalis dangling from deep within the leaves.

                “The caterpillar…” Rei whispered, suddenly counting on her fingers how many days had passed. As far as she could tell, it had been twelve days, which would’ve meant the little guy was right on schedule. Rei and Kakashi knelt before the plant in complete silence as they watched the butterfly work at its transparent prison, slowly emerging as a new being.

                “I’ve never seen anything like this before” Kakashi whispered, entranced. Rei shook her head.

                “It’s amazing” she whispered back. As they stood there, it was as if time stood completely still. All that mattered was her and him and their little friend. A grin spread wide across Rei’s face as the butterfly finally broke entirely free, slowly flapping its wet wings. Rei observed its markings and coloring, its form. She hadn’t read much about butterflies, but from what she could remember, they were looking at a Common Rose. “He’s beautiful” Rei whispered, tilting her head to get a better view.

                In those moments, Kakashi felt something strange deep inside of him. He was no longer looking at the butterfly but at her. There was an unnerving tingling in the pit of his stomach, and his palms were beginning to sweat. His chest ached with the nostalgia of their youth, as if they were small children in her backyard once again. No fears, no responsibilities, no tragedy. Just the two of them and a world of promise. A soft smile touched his lips. The butterfly fluttered his wings once more, then alighted and flitted around the lobby. Rei laughed and suddenly everything was different.


	13. Paraphernelia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What if I can't forget you?  
> I'll burn your name into my throat.  
> I'll be the fire that'll catch you.  
> What's so good about picking up the pieces?  
> None of the colors ever light up anymore in this hole.  
> -Caraphernelia, Pierce the Veil  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZVYOriINwc

                Kakashi laid in bed, watching the shadows dance against the ceiling. The ticking of his alarm clock seemed far louder as he struggled to fall asleep. His mind was racing. He couldn’t stop thinking of Rei.

                Ever since that afternoon in the lobby, watching that butterfly hatch, he had felt strange and unhinged. His desperation to avoid her had transformed into a childish excitement every time he laid eyes on her. She reminded him of something he had for so long considered lost, though he wasn’t quite sure what it was yet. He hadn’t found its name. He just knew the feeling, bright and brilliant and commanding. A part of him began to realize perhaps this reunion wasn’t for the worst, after all. He had spent so many years distancing himself for fear of putting her in the line of fire, of endangering her. He couldn’t afford to lose anyone else. No matter how hard he tried, though, she was stubborn and strong. She pushed back and now here she was, a member of the black ops alongside him. She had earned her place here, though he didn’t even want to think about the process of getting there. The thought of her killing men and fighting in battles turned his blood icy. The thought of her actively pursuing danger at all terrified him.

                What did this mean for the two of them, though? Clearly, she was unavoidable. By now he had made his peace with that. But how far was he willing to let things go? What would happen if he fully accepted her back into his life? She made him feel strange and unsure of himself, as if he was a kid all over again. Self-conscious, almost. He wasn’t sure if this was a good thing or not. Either way, he liked the way she made him feel, or at least he thought he did. He wasn’t entirely sure. It had been a long while since he had felt anything like this, if he ever really had at all. There was something vaguely familiar about it, but only in the same way as a dream. It was as if he had perhaps felt this way once before a long, long time ago, perhaps in a completely different dimension, even.

                Still, none of this addressed the most pressing issue: their careers. The life of a shinobi was a dangerous one and as far as he was concerned, he couldn’t stand to let anything into his life he could risk losing. The ANBU made this even more significant. He was supposed to be nothing but a machine, an anonymous mask of a person doing his duty and nothing more. Wasn’t he? He didn’t quite know anymore. Was it possible to have a genuine social life with this career? He had always thought not, but now he didn’t know what to think. It was as if Rei’s presence in his life was making him question everything he thought he knew.

                When he finally fell asleep, he saw himself in a field near a lake. He was laying in the grass, staring up at the sky. Everything was good. He had no fears or responsibilities. He looked to his left and saw Rei beside him, a gangly child with crooked teeth and unkempt hair. She grinned at him and clasped his hand in hers, then pointed up at the clouds overhead, giggling.

                “Look, ‘Kashi! Look at that one!” she exclaimed. “It looks like a dog! And that one looks like a bunny!” Kakashi smiled at her, looking up at the clouds overhead. They remained silent for a moment before Rei then spoke again. “I like clouds. They’re fun to look at. Especially when I’m sad. Sometimes, when daddy gets angry or mommy won’t let me do what I want, I like to come out here and look at them. They make me feel better. When I look at the clouds, I can see anything I want to in them. They make me feel a little less icky.”

                _I can see anything I want in them_. Kakashi turned that thought over in his mind. To think, clouds were unformed masses, blank canvases floating through the sky. They were statues not yet sculpted, lives waiting to be built. Perhaps he was nothing but a cloud, unformed and blank. A cloud once dark and gloomy now cleaned and pure and ready to be turned into something new. He looked over at Rei laying beside him, grinning wide as she stared up at the sky. That feeling inside him burned stronger than ever before and he suddenly felt a strong surge of what he could only assume was nostalgia or déjà vu. Familiar and breathtaking. He squeezed her hand a little tighter and the feeling swelled even more. What was this feeling? It terrified him, but he liked the way it felt. Almost as if it was something not meant to be felt and in feeling it, he was committing some sort of crime. A forbidden emotion locked away and never meant to resurface.

                A voice called to him from beyond, first vague and echoed but growing ever-clearer. He swore he recognized it, the voice of a young girl unlike Rei. He slowly picked his head up but as he did so, he felt the tension build in the redhead’s grip as if she didn’t want him to leave her. His curiosity got the best of him, though, and their fingers tangled apart. He sat up and looked on to find Rin and Obito standing in the distance, waving him nearer. He rose to meet them, then looked back down at Rei still on the ground. She was still as a corpse, hands folded atop her chest and glassy eyes staring skyward. He glanced back to his childhood teammates only to find the meadow had been engulfed in flames. Their bodies burned and then charred, ashes drifting away in the breeze. He locked eyes with Rin’s sad face as she whispered something to him and his heart ached. _Kakashi…why…? Why did you…?_

Kakashi sprung awake gasping for breath. His face had grown hot under his mask and his nose itched and for a minute he was certain he was going to be sick. His eyes landed on the framed picture beside his bed, the one of his old team. His stomach churned and he slowly set the picture face-down. He didn’t want to think about Rin and Obito right now. Especially not Rin. However, there was no stopping things now. His brain had already hopped onto that train, there was no turning back. Her image burned in his mind, the look on her face the day she died. The way she whispered his name, the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes. He had promised Obito he would protect her for him, and he failed. She had never done anything wrong. She even loved him. And he killed her.

                What made him think he could do any better of a job protecting Rei? He had already failed just by ignoring her for so many years. Was it possible to make amends for that? To apologize for what he had done and begin caring for her again? He fell back into bed and rubbed his eyes. It was far too late to be thinking about such things. He needed sleep, but he knew try as he might it wasn’t going to come so easily now. His mind drifted to fifteen million different places, mostly all in the past. He thought of the day he met Obito and Rin, of his training alongside Minato-sensei. Of the time he invited the two of them for dinner and they swore his food tasted straight out of a restaurant. And then his mind hopped back to a hazy afternoon sitting beside Obito.

                “Rin…I…I really like her!” Obito confessed dreamily. He watched her standing before a shop window below, examining some desserts.

                “Why don’t you just tell her you like her then?” Kakashi asked.

                “T-tell her?! I’m not ready yet!” Obito protested, sweat beading on his brow at the prospect. He watched Kakashi sort through his weapons, then added, “Besides, why should I take love advice from you? I never see you with a girlfriend!”

                Kakashi remembered the way his heart leapt into his throat at the statement, the smirk that touched his lips beneath his mask. He dutifully tried to keep his home life and his work life separate, which meant Obito and Rin knew nothing about Rei. If they hadn’t lived in the same village and likely crossed paths unknowingly every now and again, they never would’ve known she even existed. Much like his friendship, he kept his reaction to Obito’s statement a secret. “Do I look like I’m looking for a girlfriend right now? I’m not the one whose lovestruck here. Anyways, there’s another reason you should tell her.”

                Just then, Rin appeared, all smiles, carrying a basket of purchases. “Kakashi, there you are!” she exclaimed. “I bought you some special chocolates!”

                Kakashi sighed, leaning his chin in his hand. “I know she’s ‘your’ girl, so I won’t steal her, but you really need to get the guts to tell her how you feel, or else this love triangle is never going to end.”

                Rin slid in beside him and opened the basket to reveal the fat chocolate candies she brought for him. “I hope you like them! The shopkeeper said they were super delicious” she enthused.

                It was always when he’d come home from a long day or a strenuous mission when he’d realize just how different Rei was from Rin. Rin was always doing nice things for him, proving her affection, and perhaps sometimes even trying too hard. With Rei, everything was natural. She never bothered trying to impress him. All she ever wanted was to hear about his day and everything he had learned in his training. She just wanted to spend time with him. But perhaps that was the way things were when you knew someone as long as they had. After all, Rei couldn’t even eat solid foods when he first met her.

                He wondered how the time could’ve possibly passed by so quickly. When Kakashi thought about his past as a whole, he felt as if he had been alive forever. He had seen and done so much already. But when he thought about things in regards to Rei, it seemed like his childhood was just yesterday. He remembered the day they met clear as morning, the way he peered at her red, scrunched up face fascinated with how anything could ever be that tiny and fragile. How his very first instinct was “This girl needs to be protected,” and how he refused to even humor the notion of the responsibility belonging to anyone but him. Now, he wasn’t even sure how much she needed protection anymore. She had become a strong, accomplished young woman without any of his help. She was completely different, though yet somehow also exactly the same. Still gangly and hotheaded and messy, but now tough and capable and intelligent, as well. And she lived right down the hall.

                He wondered if she had trouble sleeping, too, and for a split second even entertained the idea of knocking on her door to check. He quickly brushed that thought clearly out of his mind, however. That was ridiculous. He would not knock on her door. What if she was asleep? He would wake her up, and if there was one trait of hers that carried on into adulthood it was probably that she was cranky when tired. He couldn’t see that being something she would grow out of, no matter how common it is in children. Still, a part of him wished they had lived across the way from one another instead so he could simply just look out his window and immediately know whether she was awake or not by the presence or absence of a light. If only.

                Eventually, Kakashi decided perhaps the best thing to do was to pick up a book. If it didn’t put him to sleep, at the very least it would get his mind off of everything. As he scanned the pages of Makeout Paradise, however, he realized this problem was rooted far deeper than he expected. That vision from the other morning, when Guy knocked on his door, was apparently still fresh in his mind because no matter what he did, he couldn’t stop picturing Rei as the female lead. He thought perhaps he could just suppress this, or that maybe it wasn’t quite so bad, until he reached one particular scene in which the main character arrives at her apartment and things get rather steamy. Kakashi blinked a few times, unable to get the image out of his head, then closed his book, buried his face in his pillow, and groaned loudly. This was pointless. He would never regain his sanity.

                As the sun began to peek over the horizon, Kakashi decided to officially give up on sleep. He’d be exhausted, of course, but it wasn’t like he had navigated through his days sleepless before. He could hear the sounds of other ninja starting their day outside, slamming doors and soft chatter. Eventually he, too, would be forced to join them and in doing so, forced to see Rei again. He wasn’t sure if he could do it. He wasn’t sure if he could stand to face her. But then again, did he really have a choice?

                Kakashi wasn’t sure if he believed in fate or not, but suddenly he began to wonder if this was all just the work of destiny. Logically, he knew this was merely just a testament to hard work and skill. Without those two accomplishments, Rei never would’ve made it this far. But he couldn’t help but wonder if maybe there was more to it than that. Maybe he was meant to be reunited with Rei. He had already lost so much, and the risk of getting attached only to lose again was horrifying, but he also knew deep down he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life alone. In the daylight, his feelings were growing clearer and he was starting to think that maybe he wasn’t so scared of them anymore. Rei must have reentered his life for a reason. In a way, this was potentially the perfect opportunity to make things right. There was something sorely lacking in his life and he was beginning to think Rei was the cure. Those feelings he had felt, he was slowly understanding what they were and it made his desire to pursue this all the more intense. He liked Rei. He cared for Rei. He had made a lot of mistakes in the past, but this was one thing he could not afford to screw up should he go for this. As he rose from bed and began preparing for the day, he knew right then and there that no matter what, he did not want to let her slip through his fingers.


	14. Begin Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid  
> I think it's strange that you think I'm funny 'cause he never did  
> I've been spending the last eight months  
> Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end  
> But on a Wednesday in a cafe I watched it begin again  
> -Begin Again, Taylor Swift  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cMPEd8m79Hw

                First things first: Rei was not a morning person. She never was and she never would be. She had hit snooze five times already and despite knowing the repercussions she would face from being late, she never seemed to learn. Now here she was with only ten minutes to get ready and dart across town to the hokage’s office and she wasn’t even dressed yet. She scoffed as she hoisted herself out of bed, thinking _What’s the worst he could really do? It’s not like he’d remove me from the black ops. I still have a mission to fulfill._

A shiver ran down her spine as she thought about what the hokage had told her in the hospital. She didn’t want to think about such things. She didn’t want to believe that was perhaps the only reason he had assigned her to the ANBU. She was a better kunoichi than that, wasn’t she?

                Rei haphazardly tossed on her uniform and smoothed her unruly hair back into a messy ponytail. As she brushed her teeth, there was a sudden knock at the door and she groaned. Of all the times for visitors, this was certainly not ideal. By the time she swung the front door open, however, there was no one there. _Freaking ding-dong ditchers, what the hell? We’re not in the academy anymore, grow up._ She was about to slam the door and turn around when she noticed a rather large paper bag on the doorstep with a note attached. She poked at it with her foot suspiciously and then, when it didn’t explode, carefully carried it inside and set it upon her desk. She unfolded the note carefully and skimmed the message inside: “ _I thought these might come in handy. Also—be ready by 6pm, Friday”_ and signed with the henohenomoheji. Her heart leapt into her throat as she stared at the letter for one minute too long. What did this mean? It was clear who it was from but…why? Deep down, she had a hunch but she desperately did not want to get her hopes up. She had been let down far too many times to put her faith in things that were uncertain. Sucking in a deep breath, she carefully peered inside the bag to find a dozen of her favorite pastries. She slid her finger in and poked at them cautiously, sniffing them and turning them over in her hands. Suspicious things were happening here and she wasn’t sure what to make of them. She folded the top of the bag over, tucked the note into her desk drawer, then slipped on her shoes and booked it to the hokage’s office.

                “I don’t know, I just don’t feel super comfortable about this” she expressed, pacing the room with her hands across her chest. Naru’s eyebrow rose as she watched her friend panic, skating over to the bag to take a look for herself. After a few moments of silence, Rei peered at her friend and asked, “Well? What’s the verdict? Do you think they’re poisonous?”

                “Oh, get a grip, Rei! Why in the world would Kakashi of all people poison you?” she asked. Rei shrugged awkwardly.

                “Childhood revenge?” she offered.

                Naru scoffed and licked the powdered sugar off her fingertip. “Well, definitely not cocaine, I can tell you that” she replied. “Don’t be such a skeptic, Rei. This is a good thing!”

                “How do you figure?” the redhead asked. Naru looked at her as if she couldn’t believe her friend was really that dense.

                “Think about it: Kakashi left you your favorite pastries and told you to be ready by 6pm Friday night. First things first, he remembered what your favorite pastries were which means there are things from your childhood he still held onto. And secondly? He asked you out, dammit! Kakashi is into you. He wants to spend time with you. He wants to be with you. Do you get it now?”

                Rei’s face had grown rather pale, collapsing onto the edge of the bed with eyes wide in dumbfounded calculation. If she hadn’t been so paralyzed, she would’ve pinched herself. There was absolutely no way any of this was real. This was not the real Kakashi. The Kakashi she knew didn’t care about her—not really. Sure, he had said things that day in the Forest of Death, resting her head in his lap and refuting her belief that she would die—but that was just talk. What else are you supposed to say to a comrade whose about to bite the bullet? He was just being polite. He was just looking after his teammate. There were no romantic implications involved whatsoever. There couldn’t be. Even the past few weeks, running into each other in the halls and even watching that dorky little butterfly hatch? It meant nothing. Just little meaningless events in a string of boring occurrences that one calls life. There was no meat to it, no purpose. Just happenstance.

                But then if none of that meant anything, then what about this? It was hard to deny Naru’s insistence. And after all, she knew far more about men than Rei ever would. Hell, Rei had never even had her first kiss yet and she was twenty years old. She felt a little pathetic about that, truthfully. She remembered when Naru had her first kiss with a boy in the academy. She was nine, and she swore he was her boyfriend but that was back when the title didn’t really mean anything. Just that you laid claim on a person and that your play dates were special. Kissing was some sort of forbidden fruit, something you did behind your parents’ backs and they were only innocent pecks anyways. Now, dating was a whole different ballgame. This was no longer small children kissing in playgrounds. This was Frenching and expensive dinners and wild sex that kept your neighbors awake until 3am. Daunting and dramatic and overwhelming as all hell. Was all that what Kakashi was hinting at? Did he want all of that with her? No, impossible. A month ago, it was like she didn’t even exist to him. Oftentimes she would wonder if she had just hallucinated their entire friendship with the way he avoided her. There was no way that now, in these circumstances, he would want anything of the sort with her.

                “Rei, snap out of it!” Naru insisted, slapping the girl’s cheeks. Rei quickly leapt from her daze, blinking to refocus her vision. Naru’s blue eyes sparkled in frustration. Even in displeasure, she found a way to look attractive. “So, what are you going to do about this?”

                “I-I don’t know…” Rei stammered. And it was true. She really didn’t. What was she supposed to do? Just go along with it? That seemed to go against her every instinct to crisis-proof her life. She turned the note over in her hands and inspected the message again. The imperative mood in his voice didn’t really give her much of a choice. He was coming at 6pm on Friday whether she liked it or not, so she might as well be ready regardless of how terrified this unknown left her.

                Kakashi’s head spun the entire day. He had committed to this, and he wanted to make the best of it. After all, how does one apologize for years of ignorance toward someone you swore to protect? He didn’t think anything he came up with would truly make up for things, but he had his hopes. That is, if she even showed up for this. For all he knew, he could knock on her door come Friday and nobody would answer, the lights would be off, and he would trudge back down the hallway defeated. Then he would really know how she felt once and for all. He would know for certain whether she wanted him back in her life again. He hated the thought of such happening but at the same time, knew it was an unfortunately likely circumstance. After all he had put her through, he didn’t expect her to fully accept his kindness. She had no obligation to him, and Kakashi knew that. He only hoped that there was at least a shred of compassion somewhere deep in her heart that would let him back inside. The thought of an official reunion, and in this fashion, terrified him, but something raw and long-forgotten drew him toward her, told him that this was what he needed in his life. That this was what he was lacking. That this was the cure for everything that had for the past few years been eating him alive.

                He set out early the next morning to complete all of the necessary tasks. While fulfilling his usual morning routine, however, he felt a strange uneasiness. Normally this was duty, and it calmed him. He needed to know that he was honoring the fallen, especially those that he held so near and dear, but today he had trouble focusing. A part of him considered dropping the idea altogether but he knew he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t handle the confrontation. He did what he needed to at the cemetery and then went on his way.

                Kokana Grill was daunting but Kakashi felt obligated. He patted the pouch at his waist, his money inside, and prayed that this wasn’t a mistake. Sucking in a deep breath, he stepped inside. The hostess was a bubbly brunette who seemed perhaps a little too delighted to see him. “What can I help you with today, sir?” she asked, grinning.

                “I would like to make a reservation for Friday night” he requested.

                “How many will be in your party? Is this a special occasion? A birthday perhaps?” she asked, flipping open her schedule and running her finger down Friday’s column.

                Kakashi shook his head. “Just catching up with an old friend” he replied. He didn’t particularly want to call this a date, because truthfully he wasn’t even sure that that was really what this was. Yes, he had asked her out and yes, he was making a reservation at perhaps the most expensive restaurant in the neighborhood but that did not mean this was a date. The hostess continued to try and drum up a conversation with him, batting her eyelashes and twirling her hair but Kakashi paid no mind to her flirtations.

                “We do have an opening for 7pm on Friday night—is that alright?” she asked. Kakashi nodded. “Perfect! Do you have any preference on seating?”

                The Copy Ninja looked around the rather opulent dining room, fashioned with at least half a dozen teppanyaki tables, before his eye landed on one situated right beside a large window decorated with lanterns. One of Kokana’s greatest appeals—and part of the reason behind its hefty pricing—was its location. The restaurant sat upon the same mountain where the past hokage’s faces were chiseled. Any seats close enough to a window overlooked the whole of the village, providing an especially gorgeous view at nighttime.

                “I’m sure any girl would be lucky to sit at this table with a handsome date” the hostess enthused as she marked Kakashi down in her schedule book. His cheeks burned pink beneath his mask at the prospect. He still did not entirely want to call this what it was.

                As the day progressed onward, however, Kakashi realized perhaps he was far too in over his head. He stepped into the local laundry service next, greeting the old woman at the counter kindly. Kakashi wasn’t very fond of other people doing his laundry, but this was different. He had picked out a special outfit for Friday night that needed to be steam cleaned of all things, something he couldn’t take care of at home. Besides, the woman who ran the business was an old friend who cared for him like an exotic aunt. He trusted her enough to oblige to this. She handed him his clothes in a garment bag with a wide grin.

                “If only I could see the look on the girl’s face when she sees you in this!” she exclaimed. Again, Kakashi’s cheeks burned pink. He thanked her and paid her for her service, then proceeded to his next destination.

                Perhaps it was merely Kakashi’s canine sense of smell but he swore he could pick up the scent of the flower shop from all the way down the street. He ducked inside, just barely missing Guy walking in the opposite direction, and began looking around. There were so many choices, and he began to think maybe this was taking things too far. What genus said “I care for you but I don’t want to come off explicitly romantic about this”? As he pondered, a screeching echoed in his ears and then the pounding of feet. As he turned around, he was met with a squealing little girl with short blonde hair and a determined gaze. She slammed directly into Kakashi, looking up at him in awe and quickly apologizing, then cupping her hands around her mouth and shouting, “Mother! We have a customer!” Before the girl’s mother appeared, however, the child took it upon herself to help the man on her own. “What kinds of flowers are you looking for? These ones are in season right now, but I don’t think they’re all that pretty. They smell kind of weird to me. Who are you buying for, anyways? Is it your girlfriend? If so, you should definitely give her roses! Girls love roses! What’s the occasion, anyways? First date? Anniversary? Are you going to propose?!” 

                Kakashi’s head was beginning to spin with all of these questions. He looked up to find an older woman stepping through the doorway with an apologetic smile on her face. “Ino, dear, why don’t you go out and play with your friends? I’ll help this young man here” she offered. The young girl, Ino, nodded and bolted out the door, gasping as she stepped foot in the street and calling to another child by the name of Sasuke. The woman sighed and laughed as she invited Kakashi nearer, replying, “I’m so sorry about that. My daughter can get a little over-excited.”

                “That’s quite alright” Kakashi replied. She was a cute kid, really. She couldn’t have been any more than eight or nine years old, and he wondered if she had recently joined the academy. That seemed to be the trend these days—all the kids were just starting their shinobi careers.

                “What can I help you with?” Mrs. Yamanaka asked. Kakashi relayed the situation to her as briefly as possible, explaining he needed help finding the perfect flowers for the occasion. Mrs. Yamanaka guided him around the shop, pointing him to a multitude of different options, before he finally settled on a small bouquet of Japanese bellflower. There was something about them that was oddly perfect, and as Mrs. Yamanaka prepared them she displayed her vast knowledge of hanakotoba. “You know, flowers may be inanimate but they have a lot to say. These, for instance, represent honesty and undying love. Some even say it sends the message of wishing for the return of a dear friend” Here, there was a twinkle in her eye and an ingenuity to her smile that made Kakashi nervous, almost as if he was suddenly exposed and vulnerable. He tried to keep his cool, nodding along as he paid her and took the flowers, but inside he was screaming. Perhaps this wasn’t such a good idea, after all. Perhaps he was taking things way too far. The minute he returned to his apartment, he hung the garment bag in his closet and set the flowers on his desk, then tore off his mask and buried himself in his bed. No matter what he did, his racing thoughts would not let him sleep.

                “Rei, you’re going to give yourself a stroke” Naru commented, face deadpan, as she skirted around the clutter in her friend’s apartment.

                “Naru, I don’t think I can do this. This is too much. I don’t know what to wear. I don’t know how to do my hair. Kakashi is going to step foot in this apartment and see that I live like a pig” Rei raved, pacing the room. Naru watched with a critical eye as the redhead subconsciously stepped over the dirty clothes and dishes on the floor rather than picking them up.

                “Well, maybe if you took better care of your stuff you wouldn’t have this problem” she commented bluntly.

                Rei whipped around with wild eyes and pointed her finger in her friend’s face. “Shut up! I do not need you white-knighting me right now!” she shouted. Naru rose her hands in surrender, but showed no sign of taking offense. That was perhaps one of the best things about her friendship, Rei thought. She was always calm and collected, she never let her temper get the best of her. It was the kind of stark contrast Rei needed in her life, the kind that kept her grounded. And Naru had certainly done a lot of that in the many years they had known each other.

                Rising from the edge of Rei’s unmade bed, Naru stepped forward and placed her hands on her friend’s shoulder. She pressed her forehead against Rei’s and looked deep into her jade eyes. “Rei, I want you to listen to me very carefully, okay? This is not a big deal. Now I want you to pick all of this up and tidy up the room and I will figure out appearances. After all, I think it’s safe to say my sense of style is a little more…how do I put it? Chic? Elegant? Palatable?”

                “Very funny” Rei replied sarcastically, breaking from her grip. She did as she was asked, however, gathering up the dishes and placing them on the desk and tossing the dirty clothes into the hamper in the corner. Meanwhile, Naru swung open the wardrobe, smoothed back the sheets, and began tossing together a myriad of different outfit options.

                Rei, ever cautious and ever curious, would peek at her friend’s work every so often, nearly commenting on how she would never wear that shirt with that skirt or she doesn’t have a pair of shoes to go with that dress or whatever, but Naru would always swat her away and ask, “Don’t you trust me?” or “Who is the more fashionable one here again?”

                By the time the apartment had been tidied up, Rei glanced to the clock and found she only had fifteen minutes left and her heart shot into her throat. “I’m running out of time—I’m not gonna be ready. I still need to wash these dishes and fix my hair and—”

                “Rei!” Naru snapped. “Relax. I’ll get the dishes. Just let me finish getting you ready, then I’ll take them with me, wash them while you’re gone, and bring them back before you’re even done tonight, okay?”

                Rei blinked a few times. “You…you would really do that?” she asked.

                The blonde nodded, glancing to the dirty dishes and wincing. There was a cloud of flies hanging overhead and an awful smell so strong she could almost see the stink clouds. “Yeah, but just know I’m only doing this because I love you” she replied.

                If Rei was the affectionate type, she would have leapt forward and tugged Naru into a strong embrace but since she was not, she simply thanked her and changed the subject to the outfits. Naru excitedly explained each of the three options she had set out upon the bed: the first a red dress with some gaudy jewelry Rei didn’t even know she owned, the second a simple top and skirt with a floral haori, and the third a pair of long pants and a rather low-cut top without any sleeves. “Well, what do you think? How did I do? I already know I did a great job but just tell me anyways, I like hearing it regardless!” Naru exclaimed.

                “Well…” Rei started. Truthfully, she could picture Naru in all of these outfits but herself? She wasn’t so sure. She never wore dresses, and she really didn’t feel comfortable showing off her cleavage. “I think I’ll have to go with the haori one.”

                The blonde squealed and grasped Rei’s arm excitedly. “I was hoping you’d pick that one! It’s my favorite—not too sexy but not too formal, either! Don’t get me wrong, I _love_ the other two but I definitely love this one the most! It’s going to look so cute on you, too! Go put it on right now, and then I’ll help you with your makeup and hair!”

                Rei nodded and gathered up the garments, scurrying down the hall to the bathroom to change. She prayed she wouldn’t run into Kakashi, terrified of what kind of bad luck seeing him before their date may bring. Instead, when she slipped out fully dressed, she ran into none other than Tenshi. She looked Rei up and down skeptically, crossing her arms and jutting out her lower lip.

                “Wow, look whose all dressed up! Never thought I’d see you in a skirt of all things, Red” she commented. She circled Rei to get a better look of her outfit, criticizing every detail in her mind. “What’s the occasion? Birthday party? Or did you finally get a date?”

                Rei straightened her back and tried to appear taller than she really was, glaring at Tenshi with daggers in the her eyes. “If you must know, it’s that last option” she replied. Tenshi erupted into hysterical laughter.

                “Oh, this is rich! Who would ever go out on a date with you?” she gasped through fits of laughter. Rei was beginning to feel her temper swell, but she begged herself not to lose her cool. She couldn’t afford to cause a scene, especially when her adrenaline was already on overdrive. Besides, she did not have time for this.

                Clenching her fists, Rei pushed past Tenshi and called over her shoulder, “Let’s just say someone thinks a little more highly of me than you, apparently.” Tenshi furrowed her brows, trying to decipher this riddle, before it finally sparked. The moment she opened her mouth to say something, however, Rei slammed her apartment door shut and that was that.

                A monstrous grin spread across Naru’s face as Rei stepped back into the apartment, grabbing her friend by the hands and sitting her down in her desk chair. Before the redhead could protest, her friend had already pinned her bangs back and started on her makeup. Truthfully, Rei hated the feeling of being made up, of sitting as someone else manipulated her features with powders and lipsticks. The foundation felt sticky and heavy on her face, and the lipstick made her lips feel tight. “How much makeup are you putting on me, anyways? You can cool it, you know.”

                “Oh, shush, I know what I’m doing” Naru dismissed. “The trick is to accentuate your features without going overboard. I think I’m doing a pretty decent job.”

                Rei knew she shouldn’t fear her friend’s hand—after all, Naru wore makeup practically every day, including missions, and she always seemed to look stunning. Her eyeshadow brought out the blue in her eyes, and she knew how to apply just enough blush to give her skin a dewy glow. But then again, Naru’s features permitted such appearances. She had that cute, symmetrical face and perfect little nose. Her face begged to be made even more adorable. Rei, on the other hand, had crooked teeth and her hair never liked to stay put and more than anything, she had a massive, ugly scar right across the bridge of her nose. She remembered when she first got it, the way her mother screamed that her precious baby girl’s face had been deformed. Everyone joked that her and Iruka were twins now simply by the fact that they shared the same scar. Rei didn’t care, really. Back then, it didn’t matter to her. Her and Iruka would laugh about it whenever they saw one another, sometimes even placing bets saying that whoever hears it said next wins a free bowl of ramen at Ichiraku, paid for by the other. Now, however, Rei was unnaturally self-conscious. Obviously Kakashi already knew about the scar, but now that she was potentially a romantic prospect for him, she couldn’t help but wonder if this would hurt her chances with him, if he would prefer someone more like Naru whose features were perfect and untouched by danger. She willed the thoughts out of her head quickly. Now was not the time.

                Squeezing her palms together in her lap, Rei’s eyes skated to the alarm clock beside her bed and her heart skipped a beat. It was two minutes after six. He was late. Naru could sense the anxiety welling up in her friend, following her line of vision and then sighing and shaking her head. “Two minutes doesn’t mean a thing, Rei. Everything’s fine. This is Kakashi, remember? He’s always late for everything.”

                “Yeah? Well, he shouldn’t be late for this” Rei snapped.

                “The later he is, the more time you have to get ready. Think of it that way” Naru suggested.

                Rei shook her head. “I don’t want more time to get ready. I want to get this over with. And besides, none of this makeup bull is going to be worth it if he never shows up!”

                “Don’t think like that” the blonde scolded. “If you consider this just another chore to get done, then you’re not going to enjoy yourself and then that’s just going to hurt your chances with Kakashi. Guys pick up on these things, you know.” A few moments of silence passed before Naru swung around behind Rei and began fixing her hair. The redhead reached for her hand mirror and analyzed her makeup, feeling grateful that her friend didn’t dress her up into some sort of bimbo. Instead, she looked elegant and glowing. Still like herself, but enhanced. She watched as Naru brushed through the tangles in her hair, then pulled it back into the trademark ponytail but slid the kanzashi that Grandma Teiko had given her into the base. “There. All done” Naru said softly. She stepped back to view the finished product, a look of sincere pride painting her face.

                The blonde then skipped forward and gathered up the dirty dishes in her arms, motioning for Rei to please open the door for her. She did as she was asked, her heart beginning to race. When Naru left, Rei knew she would officially have to face this alone and she was suddenly terrified once again that she couldn’t do this. “Thank you, again, for everything” she croaked out, hoping she could stall Naru for a moment longer.

                The blonde gave a single nod, grinned, and said, “Break a leg! And tell me everything tomorrow!” Rei agreed, bid her friend goodbye, and then slowly sat on the edge of her bed. The clock read 6:13pm. Where was he? She wondered if she ought to run down the hall and knock on his door herself, but then shoved that thought of her mind. She didn’t want to seem desperate. No, she just had to have faith that Kakashi was not going to stand her up. As if he hadn’t spent his entire life avoiding her.

                A door down the hall shut and Tenshi peered up from her mail to find none other than Kakashi emerging. And not just Kakashi but Kakashi dressed in a handsome button down and carrying a bouquet of purple flowers. She blinked a few times, then slid up beside him batting her eyelashes. “Oh, Kakashi, you shouldn’t have!”

                Kakashi looked down at her for a moment before replying, “I didn’t.” Tenshi backed away, placing a hand on her chest, feigning ignorance. “These aren’t for you, Tenshi. I bought them for…someone else. I have a date tonight.”

                “With who?” Tenshi asked, her voice almost a scream. Kakashi could tell she was growing angry at the prospect of him belonging to anyone else, but he really didn’t care. Last week, he had been careful not to hurt Tenshi’s feelings but since then, he had made a significant realization and was certain he was not going to let anyone else get in the way about this.

                Kakashi smiled sweetly through his mask and replied, “Just an old friend.” He bid Tenshi a quick goodbye as he headed down the hallway, ignoring her shouts demanding information, and knocked on Rei’s door. And that was when Tenshi immediately shut up.

                Rei startled the moment she heard the knock, methodical but friendly. She leapt up and turned the doorknob, hands shaking, completely dumbfounded by the sight in her doorway. Kakashi stood before her, smiling, dressed in a nice shirt. He held a bouquet of kikyo in his hands. “Good evening, Rei” he greeted.

                “H-Hi…Kakashi” she stammered, looking him up and down. She could feel her cheeks growing hot and she prayed for a way to stop it but to no avail. _Holy shit, was this really happening?_

“These are for you, by the way” he replied, holding the flowers out to her. She recognized the type immediately and her heart pounded. She nodded and thanked him, taking them and inviting him inside. He stood by her desk and watched as she rummaged through her drawers for something to put the flowers in, eventually settling on an old teapot her mother had given her. It was the only thing that would really suffice—all her other plants were using up any other appropriate pots. Kakashi couldn’t keep his eyes off of her as he watched her arrange the blooms, the setting sun’s light hitting her just so. Without any restraint, he commented, “You look great…”

                She paused a moment, her face turning an even deeper shade of red, before titling her head down to hide her smile and replying a brief, “Thank you.”

                A few more moments of awkward silence passed before Kakashi then said, “You have a nice place here.”

                “I mean, isn’t it pretty much the exact same as yours? We do live in the same building, you know” Rei commented. She hoped he would understand that she said this in jest, rather than trying to be difficult or offensive. How had she been so unfiltered and wild around him as a child? Now she was afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing in fear of turning him away.

                Kakashi chuckled, and Rei knew she was in the clear. “Yes, but it’s not exactly the same. You have a different bedspread, and different décor” he replied. She glanced to her sheets, wrinkled and blue with little white flowers, then to the array of potted plants on the windowsill. Each had a little label sticking out of the soil, identifying who they were attached to. The pink carnations were her mother, the gladiolus her grandmother, and so on. As it currently stood, her collection totaled to five.

                “So, uh, what’s the plan?” Rei asked. She almost felt rude asking such a thing but she genuinely wanted to know. If Kakashi intended to keep things a surprise, she would rather he say so. But if he was going to say things, she preferred he would just tell her what he was up to. She desperately did not want to have to guess on the whole night. She needed a plan, a schedule, details on what to expect.

                Fortunately, Kakashi understood her anxiety and was kind to her regarding it. “I was thinking we could go to dinner and then maybe a walk around the village?” he offered.

                “Alright” she said. She could handle dinner and a walk. That didn’t need to be scary. Maybe she would be fine after all. “Did you have any place specific in mind for food?”

                Kakashi nodded. “Does Kokana Grill sound alright?” he asked. Rei blinked a few times. She was floored. Maybe she wouldn’t be fine. Maybe this was far more serious than she expected.

                “Isn’t it super expensive?” she asked incredulously. “And don’t you need a reservation?”

                “Don’t you worry about the money” Kakashi replied. “And as for reservations, it’s already been taken care of.”

                _You sly fox._ So this was in his plans all along. He’s had everything mapped out from the beginning. Of course. Kakashi always seemed to have a plan, didn’t he?

                She walked close beside him through the village, hyperaware of everyone’s passing glances. Or maybe the looks had lasted one second too long to be considered glances. She wondered if her outfit looked alright, if her hair had puffed up from the humidity yet, if her makeup had already begun to smudge, if people were wondering what a girl like her was doing walking alongside a guy like him. As kids, it didn’t seem so far-fetched but then again, she hadn’t thought about it as much. Kakashi wasn’t some renowned ninja to her back then. He was just Kakashi, her loveable neighbor and best friend. Now things were different. He was esteemed and everyone seemed to know him. Hell, he was even feared by other villages. What right did she have to walk alongside him like this? She was nothing compared to him. But then again, she had to keep reminding herself that this was not an intrusion but an invitation. Kakashi wanted to spend the evening with her. He wanted to dress up, give her flowers, and take her to dinner at a fancy restaurant. This was his decision. He was treating her. Didn’t that mean something? Didn’t that refute any judgment any passerby might pin on her? She hoped so.

                Of all the years she had lived in Konoha, Rei had never stepped foot in Kokana Grill. It was like this untouchable haven, sitting atop the mountain overlooking the village. Sometimes she would wonder if it was even real, or if it was just a cardboard cut-out like on movie sets that would flop over at the slightest breeze. Now that she was standing before it, however, it was very, very real and very intimidating. Kakashi could sense her unease and reached back to gently take her hand in his. Her cheeks burned as he did so, looking at him incredulously. He replied with a reassuring smile.

                The hostess recognized Kakashi from the day before, glancing to Rei as if to discern whether she was an appropriate partner for the young man. It was clear she held a bit of interest in Kakashi herself. Her and everyone else in this village, apparently. She pasted a professional smile on her face and escorted the couple to their seats, a table facing the large window overlooking the village. Rei was so enamored by it that she nearly fell over trying to slide into her seat, Kakashi quickly steadying her and laughing softly.

                Kakashi was grateful there were few others at their table, just two other couples who seemed far too invested in one another to pay any mind to them. As they ate, they sipped sake and admired the view but there was still a sense of restraint, of fear and uncertainty. After a long moment of silence as dinner wound down, Rei took one more bite of her shrimp then turned to Kakashi with an honest gaze and asked, “Alright, Kakashi, be honest with me: why did you ask me out tonight? I mean, why did you really ask me out?”

                He was clearly taken aback by this question, but she asked for honesty and so he was prepared to give it. “I just wanted to spend time with you. I’ve been thinking a lot and I realized I’ve missed out on a lot of your life, I was never there for you like I said I would be, and I was hoping to make up for it.” Rei could tell there was a hint of apprehension in his voice, a nervousness that she would not accept his apology. She thought of the flowers he had bought her, of their meaning. Some said they represented the desire for the return of a dear friend. She pressed her hand to her chest and gazed out at the Leaf Village, the sky overhead nearly pitch black by now.

                “Is that all?” she asked quietly.

                “Why? Were you expecting something else?” he asked. “Why did you think I asked you out?”

                Rei shook her head. “I don’t know. I didn’t know what to think. It’s been so long…”

                “That’s why I want to make up for things. I want to get to know you again” Kakashi insisted. Then, after a beat, he added more softly, “I miss you.”

                The words sent a flaming arrow through Rei’s heart. He missed her. Well, she missed him, too, but that didn’t make up for the years he had spent ignoring her. Before she knew it, her eyes were welling up with tears she didn’t want to release. She refused to cry, and yet being here with him in this atmosphere was stirring up emotions she had never wanted to deal with. She thought she had shoved all that hurt deep down inside of herself, but she supposed sultry nights in expensive restaurants had a way of digging those sorts of things up. She wanted to speak but the words tangled in her throat and she couldn’t manage to get them out. Her mouth opened and shut like a fish but then Kakashi rested a hand atop hers and looked at her softly, sadly, apologetically.

                “This isn’t the way I wanted things to go tonight, you know” he replied. “I’m sorry. If you want me to take you home, I will.” Rei almost took him up on that offer, but when she finally looked up at him she knew she couldn’t leave. This was what she had wanted, she wasn’t about to let it slip away. He smiled at her, tilting his head to the side, and added, “I hoped we would have fun tonight. Like when we were kids.”

                “Are you going to demonstrate the bell test on me again?” Rei jested, wiping her nose on the back of her hand. Kakashi laughed and turned back to look out at the scenery.

                “I think you’re a bit more advanced than that now, don’t you?” he asked. A small smile tugged at Rei’s lips as she stared upon him, studying every feature, and reminding herself of everything that’s happened thus far. She wanted this to be a good night, too. She wanted to have fun with Kakashi and truly enjoy herself. She was beginning to regret ever asking him why he wanted this, knowing it was a stupid question. She should’ve just trusted that Kakashi knew what he wanted and to let this night flow however fate dictated it to.

                Once dinner was over, Rei was flushed and a little tipsy from the sake. Kakashi encouraged her to slow down or else she’d get a hangover, but she reassured him that she knew her limits and wouldn’t overdo it. Now, faced with the daunting task of all those steps back down into the village, she was starting to second guess herself. Kakashi rested his hand on her shoulders the entire way down and assured her that she would be fine and to let him know if she wanted to stop for a break at all.

                A strange energy pulsed between them as they walked through the village, hands itching to intertwine but never giving themselves the satisfaction. As they passed the run-down theater, Rei’s eyes landed on a poster outside for the movie adaptation of a book she remembered reading when she was younger. She turned to Kakashi with a cheap grin and replied, “Do you want to step inside and see if it’s any good? I’ll pay.”

                Kakashi smiled and began walking inside, holding the door open for her, but rested his hand atop hers when she began fishing for her wallet. “You have been on a date before, right? The man pays for everything.”

                “But Kakashi, dinner was expensive, I don’t want you to—” she started but Kakashi had already pulled the money from his pocket and handed it over to the cashier, who ripped two tickets from the reel and pointed in the direction of their theater. “You really didn’t need to do that” Rei whispered once they were inside, scooting alongside him to find their seats. Kakashi playfully placed his finger against his lips to tell her to be quiet, not only because it was proper theater etiquette but also because he didn’t want her to dwell on this any longer. He was more than happy to pay for everything. She just needed to accept a little charity, that he was doing this out of want rather than obligation. Tonight, he was treating her.

                Sitting beside her in the theater, her presence felt stronger than ever. In the darkness, he could see the stark highlights the screen cast upon her face in his periphery and it was easier to pick up her scent—sweet and unsuspecting. He tried to concentrate on the movie before them but struggled. When he wasn’t preoccupied with her, his mind was wandering to the past and his ponderings. He thought of their time in the Forest of Death, the way he swooped in almost automatically to save her from an enemy’s blow. That was not really himself at play, or at least who he thought he was. He hadn’t expected to act so impulsively but when it came to Rei, it seemed he would do anything. He wanted to touch her hand, lace his fingers with hers, scoot closer, wrap his arms around her, feel her in his grasp, warm and tangible. The last living fragment of the past.

                And then she leaned over, her face mildly uncertain. “Hey, are you enjoying this at all?” she whispered. Truthfully, he had hardly been paying attention but to abide by her tone, he shook his head no. “Me neither. I know you paid for the tickets and all, but do you want to get out of here? Go someplace quiet to hang out for a bit?” Kakashi peered around the theater. Hardly anyone else was there except for a young couple in the back row. If their actions hadn’t given their age away, Kakashi would’ve suspected the couple across from them at the restaurant had followed them. Apparently no one else was very interested in this movie, either. He nodded in agreement and together they fled the theater for someplace else.

                The village streets were empty by this point in the night, all the shops having closed their doors. The moon shone brightly overhead, bathing everything in a silver light. Rei and Kakashi walked together slowly, savoring every moment left in the night. “What a disaster that was” she commented, shaking her head. “I’m sorry I made you waste your money on such a shitty film.”

                “It’s alright” he replied. “We tried, at least.”

                “Yeah” Rei laughed. “You know, you’d think I would’ve expected this. I read the book years ago and the more I think about it, the more I remember now that it wasn’t all that great. I guess I had blocked it out of my memory or something.”

                Kakashi nodded. “Those jokes were pretty awful” he commented.

                “It’s like they were trying way too hard to be funny” Rei agreed. A few beats of silence passed as they found themselves strolling through the vacant park. “The cherry blossoms are so pretty this time of year” Rei said wistfully. “If only they lasted just a little bit longer.”

                They paused at the bridge overlooking the ravine, Kakashi leaning against the railing. “I guess all good things have to end sometime” he said.

                “I know. It’s just sad. Sometimes I wish the cherry blossoms would last forever” she said.

                “Are they your favorite?” Kakashi asked. It occurred to him that of all the years he had known her and how much he knew she loved flowers, he never truly knew which ones she liked best. Perhaps there were always new and interesting things to learn about a person after all.

                “Maybe” she sighed. “My favorites seem to change constantly. I guess if I had to pick, though, the one flower I feel like I always come back to is the forget-me-not. They’re so small and precious, so unsuspecting. Forget-me-nots have never done anyone any wrong.”

                Kakashi nodded slowly. “That’s fair.” Then, once again, the pair dipped into a long bout of silence. In those quiet moments, something strange and unyielding began to take root deep within Kakashi. It expanded at exponential rates and then finally burst through his mouth like a prophecy. “I’m glad you’re here with me tonight.”

                Rei blinked a few times, then looked up at him quizzically. “Yeah?” she asked. Kakashi nodded.

                “I’m glad you’ve joined the Black Ops, as well” he added. “It’s nice to see a familiar face. You’ve come a long way, too. I’m proud of you.”

                Rei’s cheeks burned red again and she averted her eyes, shaking her head. “It’s nothing, really.”

                A part of him grew rather frustrated with the way she downplayed her achievements like that. Joining the ANBU was not something to take lightly, and yet here she was, against all odds. She had evey right to be proud of herself. The fact that she was not irked him. He had no idea the ulterior motives the hokage had behind her appointment. “I mean that, you know. I am proud of you. I just wish I had been there to see you progress.”

                “No…it’s better this way. Really” Rei commented.

                “What do you mean?” Kakashi asked.

                “Well…” Rei started. She wasn’t sure she wanted to admit this, especially after such a great night, but now that she was here she couldn’t imagine not saying it. “If it wasn’t for your absence, I never would’ve felt the motivation to work hard enough to get here. It was your ignorance that pushed me to do better. I wanted to prove you wrong. I wanted to show you I was just as capable of becoming a great ninja like you. That day at the training center…when you told me I was weak…that I would never make it…I never forgot that day. It stuck with me all these years. That’s what fueled me to work hard and become a great ninja. I wanted to prove you wrong, and shove it in your face when I succeeded.”

                Kakashi was quiet for a few moments, absorbing all of this information, and Rei started to panic with regret over saying anything at all. However, Kakashi then rested his hand atop hers with a small smile. “I’m glad” he said. When Rei met his face with utter confusion, he explained, “I’m glad you worked so hard to get here. I still wish I had been there for you all these years, but if the mistakes I made as a kid helped push you to work hard and succeed, then maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing to do after all.”

                “I mean, it was still a really shitty move to pull, Kakashi” Rei commented, turning away from him. His face fell.

                “I know. And I’m sorry” he replied. “I wish I could explain everything to you, but I don’t think now is the time. I don’t want to ruin this night reliving the bad things.”

                The redhead nodded slowly, then sighed. “I’m afraid the night’s already over by now anyway, though.” As much as they hated to admit it, it was true. The moon sat high overhead, the streets were quiet, everyone was no doubt already in bed. The hokage would call for them in the morning with another assignment, and everything would go back to normal. The magic was fading and it was time to go home.

                Rei and Kakashi walked back to the apartment complex in silence. He opened the door for her and a veil of sadness entrenched them. It was the kind of sadness one feels at the end of summer when you know school is about to begin again and all the splendor and freedom quickly washes away. They lingered at her front door for a moment, trying to grasp the few threads of the night that were left.

                Toying with her keys, Rei quietly said, “I had a really great time tonight.”

                “I did, too” Kakashi replied.

                “I hope we can do this again sometime. You know, when our schedules align” she added. Kakashi nodded.

                “I’ve really missed spending time with you” he said quietly, almost as if it was some forbidden jutsu. A hint of sadness flickered in her eyes because she knew she felt the same way for him. It had been so long, and it hurt to think of how distant they had grown. Their time spent together tonight only emphasized that distance, a prominent scar in the chronology of their friendship. A few moments passed before he bid her goodnight and then began slowly walking back to his own apartment but before he could get very far, Rei did something she never expected herself to. As if acting on impulse or animalistic nature, she surged forward and wrapped her arms tightly around Kakashi’s midsection. He gasped, surprised at the gesture, but quickly settled into it. He turned in her embrace to face her, returning the hug. His entire body electrified as if the chidori was running through his veins.

                Something inside Rei burned at the touch, too. She squeezed him lightly and sighed, then leaned up to whisper into his ear, “Thank you, Kakashi Hatake. Not just for tonight, but for saving my life, too. For everything.”

                Kakashi pulled back just enough to get a good look at her face, a soft smile touching his lips beneath his mask. He whispered back, “It’s not a problem.”  

                He felt Rei’s eyes on him as he traversed the hallway to his own apartment, finally parting with her for the night. As he did so, however, he could feel a significant shift deep inside of himself, like a ship heading for an iceberg. He pressed his hand against his chest to feel the steady thump of his heart.

                Something inside Rei changed, too. She stepped inside of her apartment, then leaned her back against the door and chewed her lower lip. This night was everything she had ever wanted. She had finally reunited with Kakashi Hatake and perhaps it wasn’t all that bad after all. She had spent so many years resenting his absence, but perhaps there was more to the story than met the eye. After all, he had said so himself, hadn’t he? _I wish I could explain everything to you, but I don’t think now is the time._ She wondered when that time would be, but then shoved those thoughts out of her head. She didn’t want anything ruining what was left of this magnificent night. Her eyes fell upon the makeshift vase of kikyo sitting atop her desk, envisioning Kakashi stepping foot in a flower shop and picking them out specifically for her. Some said that they represented the desire for the return of a dear friend, and as she stared upon them with a lovestruck smile she hoped that meaning carried some weight to it. That, hopefully, tonight was a strong indicator of something wonderful and long-lasting, the beginning of a great adventure.


	15. Complicated

“This is hands-down the best thing I have ever heard in my entire life!” Naru shrieked, stamping the floor happily. Rei sipped her tea nervously and prayed that her friend would quiet down. She didn’t need the entire village knowing the details of her love life. She glanced around the dango shop and prayed no one else was paying attention. “So when’s the wedding? Do you have invitations picked out yet? Can I be the maid of honor? All of your bridesmaids should wear blue, because blue is the—”

                “Naru, oh my god, stop” Rei interrupted. The blonde blinked a few times, stricken. “Just…calm down for a second, alright? It was one date.”

                Naru waved off the redhead’s comment with a despondent gaze. “Oh shush, I know what I’m talking about. You have this in the bag. I would kill myself if things didn’t work out for you and Kakashi, and they will. I just know they will.”

                “That’s extreme” Rei replied. “I don’t think my relationship with Kakashi is worth suicide over but go hard, I guess.” As much as she appreciated her best friend’s support, Rei had to admit that Naru’s enthusiasm was a little exhausting. Like she said, it was only one date. If it was even that. Despite the arguably romantic nature of their night together, Rei couldn’t truly be sure whether that was what Kakashi had intended. And even if it was, one date didn’t mean anything. Nobody becomes a couple after one night.   

                “So when are you seeing each other again?” Naru then asked. It was the most reasonable question she had posed all day.  

                “I don’t know” Rei said. “I don’t even know what we are to each other at this point. It’s so…complicated.”

                “I don’t see what’s to think about” Naru replied. Just as she spoke, the waitress arrived with their order of dango. Naru slid a dumpling off it’s stick and sighed as she chewed, clearly pleased with her food. “I think it’s safe to say you’re officially off the market, Rei” she added, mouth full.

                Rei shook her head, sliding one of her own dumplings into her mouth. “I still feel nervous around him. I saw him the next morning while the hokage was dishing out missions and it was so awkward, there was this weird energy between us even though we weren’t even looking at each other.”

                “That’s how you know it’s real” Naru commented, waving her now-empty stick at Rei’s face.

                “Oh, how would you know? Have you ever been in love?” Rei asked. It was a valid question. Naru had many escapades but none of them were ever very long-lasting. Then, shaking her head, Rei added, “We never talked about what we are to each other. The only thing ever mentioned was that I was an old friend, and that he missed me. Maybe this is just platonic, maybe we’re just friends and nothing more.”

                “Friends who reserve tables in expensive restaurants and bring meaningful flowers? Yeah, okay” Naru said, unconvinced.

                “It can happen” Rei argued. “Or at least, I’m pretty sure it can.” Deep down, she was starting to grow rather uncomfortable with this topic. She hated not having a definite label for what she and Kakashi actually were. Naru seemed so sure of herself, so confident in her opinion. Rei wished she had felt the same way, but she simply did not want to jump to conclusions. She didn’t want to put her faith in something so fleeting and uncertain. She had already done that one too many times and ended up with nothing short of heartbreak. She was positive her sanity could not handle yet another depressing blow.

                That afternoon, as she returned to her apartment tired and uneasy, she thought of Kakashi. She thought of their night together, replaying every scene in her head ten times over. She cursed herself for being so analytical, but she couldn’t help it. Overthinking was just part of her nature. All she really wanted was to just climb into bed and take a long nap in hopes of erasing all of these wild feelings. And maybe when she woke up, she’d be able to contemplate this further with a clearer mind.

                Reaching her front door, she dug into the pouch at her hip only to find…her key was missing. _Shit_. She pressed her forehead against the door and squeezed her eyes shut, trying to mentally retrace her steps. She definitely had it when she left that morning, or else she wouldn’t have been able to lock the door. But where she lost it was another matter entirely. Konoha was large, and it could be anywhere. She groaned and slammed a fist against the door, cursing herself for being so stupid.

                “Well, well, well. What do we have here?” a voice then spoke from behind. She recognized it immediately: sultry, dark, condescending. Tenshi. “Looks like someone’s having a little trouble! And you call yourself a ninja” she teased.

                Rei clenched her fists at her sides. “Shut up, Tenshi” she growled.

                “Karma’s a bitch, isn’t it?” she continued. She pouted her lacquered lips and crossed her arms across her chest as if Rei was a child who had stolen one too many cookies from the cookie jar.

                “The hell are you talking about?” Rei asked, finally turning to her.

                “Oh, don’t act so dense” Tenshi replied. “This is payback for the other night.”

                It took Rei only a moment to understand what, exactly, it was that Tenshi was talking about but once she understood, a burning anger rose in her chest. “What did you do with my keys?!” Rei shouted, surging forward. Tenshi stepped out of the line of fire and shook her head innocently.

                “You act like I’m the bad guy!” she pouted. “When really, I did absolutely nothing. This is all a result of your own ignorance.”

                _Ignorance_. Tenshi knew nothing of ignorance. Rei clenched her fists and her jaw, her anger growing. “Are you really that petty that you would go so far as to think I deserve this just for spending time with a guy?” she asked through gritted teeth.

                “Let’s call it by its name, shall we? You went on a date” Tenshi said condescendingly. “And I’m not very fond of that. I don’t think you quite understand the kinds of games you’re playing here. How many drugs did you have to give him to get him to go out with you?”

                “Uh, none?” Rei replied. “Excuse me for asking, but what kinds of drugs are _you_ on right now? Because clearly there’s no way you’re sober.”

                Tenshi rolled her eyes, flicked her ponytail over her shoulder, and straightened her back with a disgusted glare. She was growing impatient, that much was obvious. Rei’s refusal to bend to her will made her squirm. She was like a venomous bug threatening to poison everything in its path, one that needed to be squashed quickly. “Listen here, Red, I’m going to tell it to you plain and simple: Kakashi wants nothing to do with you so give it up. He’s just being polite but at the end of the day, you are nothing compared to what he could have. When I see something I want, I get it, no questions asked, and what I want is him so I suggest you try not to get in my way because I fully intend to get into his pants no matter what.”

                Rei glared back up at her, matching her intensity. “Is sex really all you can think about?” she asked with a disgusted scoff. Really, it was as if she saw men as nothing but toys for pleasure. Fortunately, Rei was a little more intelligent than that. And besides, she had known Kakashi since before she even understood what sex was. To say Rei was driven solely by bodily urges was a vastly inaccurate statement.

                “What else is there to think about?” Tenshi asked. “Is it so wrong to just want to eat a big, fat—”

                “Dumpling?” a voice from behind them interrupted. The two women turned to find none other than the man in question standing before them, a book propped open in his hand. “What seems to be the trouble? If you’re hungry, the sweet shop is right down the street.”

                Tenshi’s face went beet red at the sight of him, her eyes darting down to his pants momentarily. _Drive a kunai into my eye sockets_ , Rei thought to herself. Tenshi, however, quickly composed herself and began her usual routine of accentuating her breasts and trying to act cute and flirtatious. “Wow, I totally forgot! That sounds great right now! You should come with me—those dumplings are so big, I doubt I can eat one all by myself!”

                “Sorry” Kakashi replied bluntly, “I have some unfinished business to take care of, but I’m sure Tenzo down the hall would be happy to go with you.” A soft smile touched his face, showing through his mask in the way his one revealed eye squinted. Tenshi’s face fell and in that moment, Rei felt a sickening sense of pride. _Eat that, bitch._  

                “I-I mean…” she stammered, as if grasping for the last little bit of hope she had, “I don’t think Tenzo would, I mean, I don’t know him very well and—”

                “Then this would be a great opportunity!” Kakashi interrupted. “I’m sure he would be happy to go with you.”

                Tenshi blinked, the heat rising in her face, and then glared back at Rei angrily. Perhaps she was finally beginning to understand the conditions on which their date the other night was founded. No matter how hard Tenshi tried, Kakashi simply wasn’t interested in her. After another moment of frustrated stammering and sighing, the brunette groaned and pushed past Kakashi toward her apartment. “Nevermind. I’m not so hungry anymore” she muttered, then slammed her door shut.

                “I wonder what’s gotten into her” Kakashi pondered, turning his attention back to Rei. She shrugged awkwardly, feigning ignorance. They stood there in a moment of awkward silence before Kakashi nodded and then said, “Well, I guess I better be on my way. I have a few things that need some immediate attention.”

                “Right, right” Rei said in agreement. As Kakashi walked away, however, she was reminded of her dilemma. She squeezed the doorknob and sighed softly. She supposed the only option she had was to call the landlord, even if she’d get charged extra for needing the master key. She reached into her pocket for one last look, holding out the tiniest bit of hope, but to no avail. Before she could do anything else, however, Kakashi cleared his throat and she looked up to find him standing before her.

                “By the way” he said, reaching into his own pouch. “I found this in the street and realized you might be missing it.” Then, in front of her face, he held up her very own apartment key.

                “H-how did you--?” she stammered, but Kakashi shook his head and dropped it into her hands.

                “No need to thank me” he said, turning on his heels and heading back toward his own apartment. Without looking back, he waved his hand dismissively and said “Consider it a friendly favor.”

                _Friendly favor_. The phrase stuck in Rei’s head, triggering another round of questions about what they were to each other now. She wanted to call after him, to ask him about it, but he had already shut his front door. She knew she could’ve just walked over there and knocked but she didn’t want to seem desperate. There was a barrier here that she was not about to cross lest she misinterpret the situation. No, for now she was forced to remain uncertain about the whole thing. Perhaps everything would even out eventually, or else maybe they were just destined to live the entire rest of their lives like this: always on the precipice but never falling over the edge. Truthfully, Rei wasn’t all too fond of living in perpetual uncertainty but she wasn’t sure she was prepared for the certain, either. Upon entering her apartment, she tossed her keys onto her desk and flopped face-first onto her bed with a groan. She thought back to her conversation with Naru earlier in the dango shop. Her statement about her relationship status couldn’t have been truer. This really was so… _complicated._


	16. Unmei no Akai Ito

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TW: SELF HARM*** 
> 
> Just continue to move straight ahead.  
> I can't help looking at you.  
> Whether or not I am beside you,  
> there is a red string that ties people together.  
> -Akai Ito, Inaba Koshi  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=34ytcaNllyo

                Rei sucked in a deep breath as she stepped foot into the hokage’s office. She had been rather busy these days, it seemed. Lord Third always needed her to do something. Her only reprieve was that for every mission, she was always placed in a squad with Kakashi. His presence made her feel a bit safer, even if she still felt strange around him. They hadn’t had a chance to spend another night alone together since that first date but simply fighting alongside him at least helped to fill some of the void. She thought about him often, her mind always jumping back to the final exam in the Forest of Death. The more frequently she worked, the more dangerous her missions became and the threat of death constantly loomed over her head. Her only reassurance was Kakashi. She thought of the way he held her close, his promise that he would not let her die. She knew that the hokage had assigned her to look after him, but in a way she felt as if he was looking after her, as well. So long as they were together, she knew she would be safe. Straightening her back, Rei clenched her fists at her sides and approached the hokage’s desk. “You called for me, Lord Third?”

                “Yes, yes, come in, Rei” he motioned for her to step close and she obeyed. Standing off to the side were two other black ops members: Tenshi and a young man who she recognized as Kakashi’s friend Tenzo. She didn’t know Tenzo very well, but she had seen him around the dormitories from time to time. After a while, she had come to understand he was the same shinobi who escorted her through the annals of the ANBU facility the day she joined.

                The hokage huffed his pipe as he explained their mission: track down an enemy ninja seen heading for Kusagakure and return him to the village for questioning to ensure he did not release any intel on the Hidden Leaf or Land of Fire. It was a simple enough procedure, truly nothing they hadn’t already dealt with before. The capture would be easy. It was the interrogation that would prove rough. Kusa-nin were always difficult to read, but Rei had faith in Ibiki and Inoichi’s skill. All Rei had to do was track him down and reel him in. But of course, someone always had to make things unnecessarily difficult.

                “Lord Hokage, don’t you think we’re missing something?” Tenshi asked. The hokage blinked a few times as he tried to thumb through his thoughts but couldn’t come up with an answer. “We’re missing someone” she pressed. When the hokage still did not catch on, Tenshi sighed in minor frustration and explained, “What about Kakashi? Isn’t he joining us, as well?”

                It was then that Rei realized the copy ninja was, indeed, missing and her heart raced for a moment. She didn’t expect his accompaniment to expire so soon. The thought of not having him by her side made her nervous. He was, in a way, her safety net and she cursed herself for ever growing dependent on his presence. Without him, she felt chaotic.

                “I’m sorry to inform you but Kakashi will not be joining you on this mission” the hokage explained. “Kakashi is currently involved in other assignments, but I have good faith that you three can handle things on your own.” The hokage sounded so confident in their abilities, but it was clear there was a charge of panic coursing through the room. Deep down, Rei knew a mission without Kakashi must have meant she was advancing and a good enough kunoichi to work without his surveillance. Still, his absence made her nervous. Moreover, this seemed like the exact opposite of her purpose here, which seemed both promising and puzzling.

                Tenshi of course protested this but ultimately was forced to accept her fate. Rei rolled her eyes behind her mask in disgust. More and more, it seemed like her only motivation to work at all was to get close to Kakashi. Even when he expressed zero interest in her, she refused to give up the fight. She was determined to get him one way or the other, even if by force. The thought of it all made Rei sick. They were elite ninja and all she cared about was getting into someone’s pants.

                “So, who is this guy we’re after again?” Tenshi asked that afternoon, filing her nails as she leapt from tree branch to tree branch. “Whatever, we should just make this quick. I’m sure I can take this guy down with just my little finger.”

                “And risk breaking a nail? Doubtful” Rei snapped.

                “Is it such a crime to take care of your appearance?” Tenshi fired back, whipping around to face the redhead. “There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look good, you know. Not that you would know anything about that.”

                “Alright, ladies, let’s just calm down and try to focus on the mission, alright?” Tenzo interrupted. Internally, he was cursing the hokage for sticking him with two bickering women. Was it really so hard to set their differences aside for the sake of professionalism?

                “Yeah, Tenshi, you can cut the crap. Kakashi’s not here” Rei commented. Tenshi squeaked in surprise, then narrowed her eyes at her comrade. Tenzo’s ears pricked up at the mention of Kakashi’s name, glancing to the two women briefly. So _that_ was the major conflict between them. It took all of his strength not to laugh under his breath. As far as Tenzo knew, Kakashi didn’t give a single care for relationships. He had known the copy ninja for quite some time now and was certain his only focus was his work. He didn’t expend much time for a social life. He did, however, feel a surge of excitement about this intel. He wondered what Kakashi would say if he found out he had two women fighting over him, if he would even say anything at all. Either way, all of that could stand to wait. His primary concern now was the mission. Once completed, then he would be able to test the effects of this new information.

                Tiny bugs crawled up Rei’s legs as she hid in the brush with her partners, eyeing the home where their target was rumored to be staying. From the little information they had gathered, they could glean that their criminal was a spy collecting intel for a greater power but the details, the who and the why, were hazy at best. The longer they waited, the more Rei’s mind wandered on the subject. She had noticed some questionable happenings between the Five Great Nations lately and a sense of danger loomed overhead. If this man had anything to do with it, they wanted answers.

                The plan, per Tenzo, was to hold back until the perfect moment, then strike, arguing that they needed to be careful. The goal was to fulfill their mission quickly and easily, all while not being seen. After all, ANBU infiltrating foreign nations was seen as a threat. They were invaders and one false move could start wars.

                Rei glanced over to Tenshi, who made her boredom very clear. She sighed and tilted her head back, arms crossed. “I say we just jump in there and take him by the balls” the brunette suggested.

                “We’d get ourselves killed, smart-ass. I agree with Tenzo, the only way to do this is to wait for the perfect moment to—” Rei began but her sentence was cut short by their teammate slapping her on the shoulder and motioning for her to look ahead. The back door creaked open and out came their target tugging a hefty garbage bag. The three shinobi glanced to each other with a nod, then swept into action.

                Everything happened so quickly. This was supposed to be an easy mission. In one fluid motion, Rei assaulted the criminal with Water Style: Water Wall, knocking him to the ground so Tenzo could swoop in and trap him with his Wood Style jutsu. The man struggled, however, and escaped Tenzo’s grasp. Tenshi locked her eyes on their target but just as she was about to release a fire style offensive, all hell broke loose. The back door swung open and a blur surged toward the man, shrieking hysterically. Rei extinguished Tenshi’s flames with her water style and yelled at Tenzo not to let him get away. Approaching their target was none other than a small child, her blue eyes wide with terror and spilling with tears. She continued to scream, desperate for her father, her voice carrying throughout the entire village. Then her mother appeared in the doorway, face frozen in shock. The little girl begged her to do something, crying that they were going to take her father away. Rei watched her with sharp eyes as the woman then slowly reached behind her and pulled out a kitchen knife. _Shit, she’s armed_. Without a moment’s hesitation, the woman aimed the blade right for Rei’s throat with a horrendous battle cry. Dogs barked in the background. Lights were beginning to flicker on, curious about the commotion.

                Meanwhile, the man tried to take advantage of the chaos to escape, shouting for his wife and daughter to run to someplace safe. Tenshi wouldn’t let him get away so easily, though, attacking him with the Fire Release: Heavenly Prison. He screamed and squirmed, desperate to escape, proving that they had no other choice. In a matter of seconds, the man fell to the ground, unconscious. His daughter shrieked, tears streaming down her face. Rei locked eyes with her as she rushed forward and time slowed to a crawl. She had never seen such pain before. _I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry…_

                An arm reached out and pulled Rei back into the brush, snapping her from her daze. Tenshi dragged her all the way to the Land of Fire’s outskirts. The man’s body bobbed as they went, slung over Tenzo’s shoulder. It wasn’t until they were safely within the borders of their own country when someone finally broke the silence.

                “I don’t know about you guys, but I think that went perfectly” Tenshi remarked. The terrifying part was that there was not a single ounce of sarcasm in her voice. She genuinely believed that they had not screwed this up in the slightest.  

                Tenzo shook his head, eyes staring forward. “It could’ve been better” he replied. “This would’ve been a lot easier had the family not intervened.”

                Tenshi flicked her ponytail back over her shoulder and pursed her lips. “They deserved it. They really should’ve seen this coming from a mile away. I mean, what did they expect? I, for one, would never marry a criminal. I mean, that’s just common sense. And then to pop out a kid with the guy? Puh-lease. She had it coming.”

                In that moment, something snapped within Rei. She had been travelling alongside them thus far in a sort of haze, overwhelmed with their situation. She stared at the man slung over Tenzo’s shoulder and wondered about his past and his life. How did he meet his wife? Was he excited to become a father? How did he get to this point? Who was he gathering intel for? And why? Perhaps he was financially unstable and did what he needed to do to provide for his family, even if it meant risking his own life. Despite the illegality of it, it was admirable. They had no idea what his story really was but that didn’t matter. All that was important now was that he was a criminal and their mission was fulfilled. She couldn’t think about his family and how it was now broken and it was all her fault. No matter how hard she tried, however, Rei couldn’t get that little girl’s red, snotty, scrunched up face out of her mind. Her screams echoed in her ears. And now here was Tenshi, inconsiderate and self-centered, saying that this innocent woman and child deserved this pain? Rei gritted her teeth and with one surge of chakra, launched herself at Tenshi. The pair tumbled down where Rei pinned the brunette to the ground and began punching her with all of her might. Tenshi shrieked and squirmed, calling her crazy and begging Tenzo to step in and help. He set the fugitive down in his line of sight and tore Rei off of her partner.

                “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he shouted at her. Rei gasped for breath, brushing her hair out of her sweaty face. Blood from where the wife’s blade had scraped her smeared across her cheek, her mask thrown toward the edge of the brush. As she stared down at Tenshi, face now red and pulsing, she realized what she had done and was overcome with a disgust strong enough to make her sick. She couldn’t bring herself to speak. Tenzo sighed and shook his head in disdain, reaching out a hand to help Tenshi up. She brushed the dirt off her uniform and shouted obscenities at Rei, claiming she was insane and ought to be sent to the nut house, constantly asking her what the hell she was thinking. In any normal circumstance, Rei would fire back filled with fury and passion. Now, she felt absolutely nothing.

                The remainder of their trip back was endured mostly in silence. When the man finally awoke, Rei snapped at him to shut up and threatened a fiery death if he even thought of running off. Tenzo pursed his lips in mild discomfort. He had never seen her so unhinged before. He remembered the day he walked her through the enrollment process for the black ops. He found her gasping for breath with vomit on her lips after receiving her tattoo. _I didn’t think she would make it back then_ , he thought. _I thought the hokage had made a mistake, that she wasn’t fit for the black ops, but now I see that perhaps there’s something in her that I never really caught before._

                There was perhaps only one other person he had seen with that much fire and strife reflected in their eyes, the distant white-haired boy with the secondhand eye. He knew nothing of Kakashi and Rei’s history, but in that moment he was reminded of her and Tenshi’s argument earlier, the way they bickered over Kakashi like schoolgirls on the playground. He didn’t want to pick sides or play into some childish game but after what he had seen that day, he knew he was willing to bet his money on Rei. She was cut from the same cloth, filled with the same brand of pain. He saw a lot of Kakashi reflected in her eyes, cold and sharp and determined. He could scarcely sleep that night thinking about it.

                The hokage praised their punctuality and how clean a capture they had achieved. They said nothing of the disaster with the young man’s family. Lord Third didn’t need to know. All that was important was that they had finished the job they were assigned to do. The minute he dismissed them, Rei turned and stalked out the door without a single word.

                She didn’t particularly want to be out and about, but she didn’t want to stay home, either. She stopped in to change clothes and then rushed back out into the village to stroll around mindlessly. Her apartment was too confining. Her own thoughts would bounce against the walls before inevitably choking her.

                She couldn’t shake that little girl’s face from her mind. Her screams still rang in her ears. Of all the missions she had been on thus far, none had ever been quite so bad as this. Was what they did right? She supposed it depended on who you asked. They were only doing their job, retrieving a suspicious ninja who could’ve leaked intel on their village. Who knew what would come of that? But then, would a husband and a father do such a thing? She knew the answer was subjective—if he needed the money, surely he would do anything for his family. Even if that meant breaking the law and leaking information to enemy ninja. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder what kinds of repercussions this would have on his wife and child. Would they ever see their beloved again? Or would he be locked up in Konoha’s jail to rot away? Would that child resent Rei and her village for the rest of her life for what she had done? She assumed it was highly probable. Grudges were hard to shake, especially of this magnitude.

                Rei had done her job, she had accomplished what the hokage had asked of her, but at what cost? Was it really worth tearing a family apart like that? A sudden, disgusting realization struck her as she circled the road where her family’s bookstore sat. Perhaps this was exactly why she did not, in fact, belong in the black ops. She had questioned her position here for so long but now she was certain she knew the truth. She just couldn’t keep her emotions at bay. They always found a way to dig themselves up out of the dirt and twist their way into her head. Emotions were dangerous. Emotions were a liability. She was not allowed to feel. And yet here she was feeling all sorts of things: regret, uncertainty, low confidence, even loneliness (which she hated to admit a part of her liked). She pressed her palm against her shoulder where, beneath her sleeve, her tattoo sat. She could feel its presence burn against her skin and she cursed under her breath. This was all one big mistake. The hokage had made a terrible decision. She was not strong enough for this, after all. Her father was right. Kakashi was right. She didn’t belong here at all.

                By sunset, she knew she had no other choice but to return home. It was getting dark and she didn’t particularly want to be out late at night. She knew the kinds of men that lurked through the village after sundown, drunken and disgusting. She didn’t feel like fighting off someone trying to cop a feel. She trudged upstairs only to be met with Tenshi shuffling through her mail. How did she always have so much freaking mail? _She must be popular_ , Rei thought _, probably keeping sweet-talking penpals who send her fancy gifts to try to earn a night with her_.

                “Where have you been?” the brunette asked, though she didn’t sound super interested in the answer. She didn’t even look up from her mail.

                “What does it matter to you?” Rei fired back. It was then that Tenshi finally looked up, an impressed expression painting her face but not one of ingenuity. Instead, it was the kind of impressed a mother feels when their child talks back to them and the mother wants to test how far the kid will try to push them.

                “We’re feisty today, huh?” she scoffed. “What? Did someone piss in your ramen?”

                “Oh, shut up” Rei snapped. She fished through her pouch for her keys, but her hands shook from having barely eaten all day. She couldn’t stand to stomach food at a time like this. Not when her brain was taking full control.

                “Did you ever get that cut fixed up?” Tenshi asked after a few moments of silence. Rei was surprised at the question, having not expected Tenshi to ever care a single morsel for her wellbeing. She pressed her hand against the side of her neck, the cut shallow but still tender and unclean, and shook her head. “Pfft, you should really take care of that before it gets infected. Although, if you contract some bacterial infection and die within twenty four hours, then I guess I’d get Kakashi all to myself! Maybe rub a little dirt in the thing, then” she continued. _There she is_ , Rei thought to herself with disgust.

                “Yeah, bet things would be much better that way, anyway. Thanks for the advice” Rei said. She had finally dug up her key and began unlocking her door when she felt a firm hand pressed against her shoulder.

                “Wait a second” she heard Tenshi speak. Rei turned to look up at her with daggers in her eyes. “Seriously, what the hell has gotten into you?” she asked. Rei glared up at her for a moment, as if to silently ask whether she really cared to hear the answer, but in the time during which she remained silent, Tenshi began to piece together the truth. “Is this about the last mission? With the screaming brat and try-hard mother?” she asked. Rei blinked a few times, unsure of how to answer. She assumed a simple _yes_ would suffice, but her throat refused to form the words. Tenshi removed her hand from Rei’s shoulder and rolled her eyes begrudgingly. “Really, Rei, grow some balls. It’s not that big a deal. Shit like this happens all the time, just get over it.”

                “Get over it?” Rei asked. Tenshi had no fucking clue. Without another word, Rei shoved her front door open and burst inside, slamming it hard in the brunette’s face.

                A knock. Lord Third bid his assistant entrance, scurrying inside with a pigeon alighted on his arm. “We have just received a message from Kusagakure, Lord Third. I suggest you take a look at it immediately.” The old man nodded and took the scroll from him, unrolling it and scanning the contents. The further into the message he got, the more displeased he became. This was just what he feared. Perhaps the new recruits really did still need Kakashi as chaperone.

                Rei groaned and drew her sheets up over her head as the sunlight filtered through her window. She had spent the entire night tossing and turning unable to stop thinking about the way things were handled, and about that little girl. She desperately did not want to get out of bed, her urge to sleep all day made stronger by the knock that then sounded from her door. Not even Kakashi would encourage her to get up, and that was saying a lot.

                The knocking ceased to stop for five full minutes, and Rei wondered what the hell he even wanted. He didn’t even say anything, just kept rapping mindlessly at the wood. After another few moments, she couldn’t take it anymore. “Alright, fine! I’m coming! Geez!” she shouted, slithering out of bed and sliding a pair of dirty pants on. Her hair was a tangled mess, her breath smelled awful, and she was pretty sure there was a stain on her nightshirt but she wasn’t in a mindset to really care. Kakashi had known her since she was a baby, he had caught her pissing her pants at one point, he could handle her morning alter ego just fine. Or at least she thought he could. She was sure Kakashi wouldn’t care, regardless. And truly, he wouldn’t. Only it was not Kakashi on the other side of the door.

                Tenzo looked her up and down a moment, his eyes wide and disconcerting. “Uh…is this a bad time? Because I don’t want to interrupt if you’re—” he stammered but Rei shook her head.

                “You dragged me out of bed already, might as well spit it out” she said. “So, what is it? What do you want?”

                He couldn’t look her in the eyes, both due to her current state and because of the way she was the other day. He couldn’t stop thinking about it. “The hokage summoned us all to his office immediately, said he had something very important to speak with us about” Tenzo explained.

                Rei blinked, face displeased. “This early? Does the man not know the meaning of sleep?” she asked.

                “I wouldn’t question him. If this is as important as it seems to be, I think it would be a good idea to get over there quickly” he replied. “You’re, uh…you’re not going like that, are you?” he then added nervously.

                The redhead rolled her eyes and stepped inside her apartment. “Of course not” she spat. Tenzo told her to meet him and Tenshi in the lobby in ten minutes or else they’re leaving without her. She nodded in compliance and then slammed the door. As she got dressed, however, her mind began racing with _what if’_ s. What could the hokage possibly want with the three of them? All she could think of was that it had something to do with their mission. Perhaps the mother and daughter were so traumatized they complained to their own kage, who then was so angry he decided to declare war on the Leaf Village and it would all be their fault. Or at least all her fault. She knew none of this was her sole responsibility but no one else seemed to be taking the brunt here, so it naturally laid upon her. Weighing her down like a log crushing a rat. For a moment, she swore she was going to be sick.

                She met with the pair just in the nick of time and walked silently behind them as they approached the hokage’s office. The dome-shaped building seemed far more intimidating now knowing she was very likely in heaps of trouble. When they reached the office, he ushered them inside with a grave look upon his face. “I think it’s time we all had a little talk” he started.

                Tenshi then raised her hand as if she was back in the academy. The hokage paused a moment before granting her permission to speak. “How long is this going to take? I have other things to do today, you know.” Lord Third looked upon her darkly, as if he was struggling not to smack her. Tenzo shot her an exasperated, embarrassed look as if to beg her to shut up. She looked to everyone in the room with genuine confusion. “What? Is it so wrong to try to keep to a schedule?”

                Unable to hold herself back, Rei replied through gritted teeth, “Well maybe if you stopped complaining, we would get this done a lot quicker!”

                “Alright, settle down now” the hokage interrupted, making a patting motion with his hands. “I called you all here today to address some issues pertaining to your latest mission. Late last night, I received a message from Kusagakure’s carrier pigeon detailing some complaints the residents had about a ‘scuffle’ the other night involving the Konoha black ops. Witnesses said there was mass chaos and that things were handled in a very unprofessional matter. The kage himself has stated a great disdain for the way things were handled and recommends I suspend you all lest you want to start some sort of war.” The hokage stopped here to look upon the somber faces of his ninja. Even Tenshi expressed some semblance of guilt. “Compared to your reactions when you returned here the other day, I feel as if I am getting two very different stories and am unsure which to believe. Can any of you tell me now what, exactly, happened on this mission?”

                Tenzo immediately stepped forward. “I will explain, Lord Third” he began. Tenshi eyed him as if he was about to reveal some massive secret, and for a moment Rei truly despised her. Not that she didn’t already hate Tenshi, but the thought of her thinking so little of other people’s feelings to the point where she was willing to shove something like this under the rug? Disgusting.

                The hokage nodded, urging Tenzo to proceed his story. Rei sucked in a deep breath and prepared for the worst. As far as she knew, Tenzo was an honest, upstanding citizen who would explain everything just as it happened. He was well-composed, no waver in his voice. He cleared his throat, and then began.

                “We infiltrated the village from the northwest side, closing in on the building our target was rumored to be staying in. When he exited the premises to take out the trash, we zeroed in on him in what should have been a clean capture but extenuating circumstances prevented such. A woman and child came from inside the house and, as you can likely imagine, were very unhappy. The child began to cause a scene, and the mother used a kitchen knife to try and fight against us. Neither of us sustained any serious injuries, but the blade caught Rei on the left side of her neck. The man struggled and resisted arrest, so we had no choice but to use force and escape as quickly as possible. We departed the village as other residents began to leave their homes in curiosity.”

                The hokage tented his fingers and nodded as he listened. Once Tenzo was finished, Lord Third gazed upon each of their faces a moment before speaking. “I can see that what you say is true, but that does not mean I am happy with the circumstances. I understand that there were external forces at play, but I am still very disappointed in the way you handled this. The situation was managed in a sloppy and disrespectful manner that has damaged the name of the Leaf. Do you have anything to say for yourselves?”

                Tenzo opened his mouth to speak but of course Tenshi stepped in and spoke over him, debating the hokage’s stance. Rei only half listened to her argument, her mind spiraling. If anything, this was a simple confirmation of everything she had been thinking since the incident occurred. She was not a good ninja. She made a massive mistake. She put her village in danger. She did not belong here.

                She wandered home in a daze, bumping into the rare villager here and there. Small children paused their games of keidoro in the streets to stare at her, as if they could see straight through her mask, and whisper about her among themselves, saying she seemed scary or something like that. The minute she returned home, she ripped her mask off her face and gasped for fresh air, then tossed the damn thing into the corner of the room with all her might. Fortunately, brute strength was not her forte and she did no damage to the mask itself, but she wished she had. She leaned over her desk and panted heavily, her face beading with sweat. She felt claustrophobic and unhinged, as if she was trapped in a tornado with no reprieve. If her grip on the edge gave way even in the slightest, her hands would lay victim to horrible tremors that would extend all the way through the rest of her body. She caught sight of her reflection in the little mirror nearby and wanted to puke. And then her eyes shifted to the glint of the kanzashi on the desktop. She thought of the tip, of its sharpness, and felt compelled to touch it, to press it against her skin and see what she could make of it. She knew this was not Grandma Teiko’s intended use, and the thought of harming herself with something so sacred pained her, but the urge was far stronger than any regret. Just as she reached for the kanzashi, however, there was yet again a knock at the door and she shouted the most profane word she knew of in response.

                “What do you want?” she snapped, swinging the door open. She expected it to be Tenzo again, or even Tenshi back to dish out more insensitivity, but instead she was met with a shocked Kakashi and she immediately wished she hadn’t said anything at all. He looked her up and down and knew in an instant there was something wrong. Without an invitation, he stepped inside.

                “I heard what happened and wanted to make sure you were alright” he said. He looked around the apartment for anything amiss, finding her mask on the floor. Then he looked to her: her red, sweaty face and glossy eyes and rapid breath. He knew without her even needing to say anything that she was not alright.  

                “It’s fine, don’t worry about it. I don’t…I don’t need you checking up on me, alright? Everything’s fine” she lied. Unfortunately, lying was also not her forte. Kakashi cocked a brow and took her shoulders so that he could steady her and look her dead in the eyes. She wasn’t sure if it was that sharingan of his or what but she felt as if when he looked in her eyes, he was staring straight into her soul. She couldn’t carry on lying to him.

                “Now, tell me how you really feel” he urged. She blinked a few times before the tears refused to restrain themselves anymore, spilling down her cheeks silently. Shaking his head, Kakashi pulled her into his arms and held her there, rubbing her back, until she had calmed down.

                “I can’t do this anymore” she had said later, sitting beside him on the edge of her bed.

                “Can’t do what?” he asked sternly. He feared her answer more than anything but knew remaining silent would be an answer in and of itself.

                Shaking her head, she motioned to the room and then pointed to the tattoo on her arm. “This.” Rei buried her face in her hands despondently. “I think there’s been a terrible mistake.”

                “What do you mean?” Kakashi asked. He wasn’t liking where this was going at all.

                “The hokage, he…he screwed up recommending me to ANBU. I’m not…I’m not good enough” she replied, the last part a pained whisper. “I’m supposed to be skilled and emotionless and smart. I’m supposed to be so smart. But I screwed up. I made a mistake. I’m not skilled or emotionless or smart. Instead I’m stupid and talentless and get far too invested in things. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her, that little girl…the screaming is still ringing in my ears. I tore apart a family. I ruined someone’s life. And for what? I’m a bad ninja, Kakashi. Lord Third made a huge mistake. I don’t…I don’t belong here.”

                Kakashi’s heart broke hearing her words, how hard she was on herself. Was this because of what he had done? Was she like this because he told her she wasn’t good enough so long ago? He hated to think he had a hand in this. “You’re wrong” he replied. “A good shinobi is not a robot void of any feelings. A good shinobi does what is right and what is necessary in spite of those feelings. To bring your personal feelings into a battlefield is a death wish, but to know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward. The enemy’s family was completely out of your control, there was nothing more you could do. At the end of the day, that man was a criminal and he needed to face the consequences of his actions.”

                Rei nodded slowly, though nothing he said made her feel any better. If anything, she felt as if he was just contributing to the blame. So even Kakashi thought she had screwed up. Realistically, she didn’t know what else she expected. “Thanks, Kakashi” she said softly, wrapping her arms around her waist. Even if nothing he said helped, she wanted to at least leave him believing that was the case. She watched him stand and head toward the door, reassuring her that everything would be fine, before departing. Once alone, she was finally able to stew in her own guilt and self-hatred properly. Her eyes darted back to the kanzashi on her desk, Kakashi’s words echoing in her ears. _To know what is right and choose to ignore it is the act of a coward_. She was a coward, though. She had no idea what she was doing and everything about her life nowadays terrified her. She ripped her gloves and her gauntlets off and tossed them to the floor, a lump rising in her throat, then rose from her bed and crossed the room.

                Lord Third was reviewing the paperwork on his desk when there was a knock at the door. He glanced up, then called for his visitor to enter. Rei clenched her fists at her sides then stepped inside, feeling lucky her face was hidden. “Ah, Rei, I was just about to summon you” he greeted. “What can I do for you?”  

                Rei glanced to the hokage’s assistant and then out the window and then to the floor. “I was wondering, if it’s not too much to ask, if I could request a private conversation with you, Lord Third” she said, voice sounding far smaller than she expected. The hokage paused a moment, blinked, and then motioned for his assistant to leave the room. Once they were alone, he took another long drag from his pipe.

                “You might as well take your mask off now” the hokage suggested, “Seeing as it’s just the two fo us.” Rei’s hand hovered over her face, hesitant, before obeying. “Well? What seems to be the trouble, Rei?” he asked. The redhead fidgeted and refused to look him in the eye. Hiruzen Sarutobi had a relatively firm idea of what she was about to say just based on her body language, but he wanted to hear her say it herself.

                “Well…correct me if I’m wrong, sir, but…I think you have made a massive mistake” she started. Then, when he stared back at her expectantly, she added, “I don’t think I belong in the ANBU.”

                “You doubt my judgment?” he asked.

                “No, no, no! It’s not that! It’s just…” Rei countered. “This last mission got me thinking and I just…I don’t know. I can’t help but feel like I’m not cut out for this. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all.”

                The hokage shook his head and rose from his seat to look out upon the village. What he said next was nowhere near what Rei was expecting. “I’ve seen a change in Kakashi these past few weeks” he stated. Rei’s spine shot ramrod straight and a lump rose in her throat. “He is not nearly the dark, gloomy boy he once was. True, he is still far from perfectly fine but there has been a distinct shift in his mood and his demeanor. Sometimes he smiles now, and he makes conversation with the other shinobi. He never did that before.”

                “Lord Third, w-why are you telling me all of this?” Rei asked, a sense of panic in her voice.

                Hiruzen finally glanced to her from the corner of his eyes. “I tell you this because it means my plan is working. You are fulfilling the mission I asked of you when I assigned you to the black ops in the first place. You remember that afternoon, yes?” Rei nodded. “I thought you would.”

                “But that doesn’t mean anything” Rei argued. “Is this the only reason you even put me in the black ops? To babysit Kakashi?”

                The hokage’s face turned sour. “You know the answer to this, Rei” he replied. “You are more than just a ‘babysitter’ to Kakashi. Yes, the main reason I wanted you in the black ops was to keep an eye on him and help him get back to center, but I would not have appointed you if I did not think you were capable of all that the ANBU required of you. Is that understood?” Rei nodded slowly.

                “But how am I supposed to keep doing this if I don’t really feel like I belong here?” Rei asked. “I feel like everything I do is wrong. My emotions are so strong, they only get in the way. I’m not sure if I’m tough enough for this.”

                “Your lack of belief in yourself contributes to your failure” he stated. The word _failure_ struck Rei hard in the chest, a kunai straight for the heart. So she had failed after all. “Rei, have you ever heard the story of _unmei no akai ito_?”

                Rei blinked despondently. Somehow it sounded familiar and yet she couldn’t remember a thing about it. She shook her head, trying to discern where Lord Third was going with this.

                “There is a tale about a young boy who encountered an old man on his way home one night” the hokage began. “This man told the young boy that there is a red thread tied around his pinky finger that attaches him to his destiny. While this string may tangle and stretch, it can never break regardless of circumstances.”

                “What does this have to do with anything?” Rei asked. She flexed her pinky finger stupidly, knowing that there was absolutely nothing tied to it. Old man must be crazy.

                Lord Third shook his head and took another drag from his pipe. “The old man showed the young boy who he was destined to be with, a young girl, but the boy had no interest in this and threw a rock at her head. Once the boy had become a young man, he was arranged to marry. When he lifted her veil, he was delighted to see she was very beautiful but had a strange decoration on her eyebrow. When he asked of this, she replied that when she was a child, a young boy threw a rock at her head and left a scar there that she was self-conscious of. This woman was the same young girl that the old man told the boy was his destiny, and they were connected by the red thread of fate, _unmei no akai ito_.”

                Rei’s heart began racing in her chest. She hated this story and she wished the hokage had never told her any of it. “That’s ridiculous” she said, waving him off. “That’s silly. That makes no sense. That’s just a kid’s fairytale.”

                “Or is it?” the hokage asked wisely. “Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

                A part of her thought she did, but the truth of it scared her and she wanted nothing to do with it. This was getting to be far too much. “I don’t want to talk about this.”

                Hiruzen, however, did not listen to her pleas. “From the moment we are born, we all have a destiny to fulfill. We are tied to this destiny no matter what else may happen. Even if you cannot see it now, everything is working simply according to fate’s design. Meaning that yes, Rei, you do, in fact, belong here.”

                For a moment, Rei swore she could slap the old man. All of that just to try and convince her of something she knew was false? This was ridiculous. She couldn’t help herself from rolling her eyes.

                “I know it is hard to believe that you are meant to be someplace you do not feel skilled or prepared for but I assure you, fate makes no mistake. I am just the vessel through which life brought you here. Have more confidence in yourself, Rei. You are a fine kunoichi and you are more than capable of succeeding in the black ops, and more.”

                Rei trudged home that night exhausted and bothered. Lord Third’s story rang in her ears for the rest of the day, a torturous pang that she could never escape. She peered down the hall as she unlocked the door, her eyes landing on Kakashi’s apartment. She wondered if he was inside, then scrubbed the thoughts from her mind. She didn’t want to think about him. Not now. Once she stepped inside, she changed out of her black ops uniform and slumped into her desk chair tiredly. The kanzashi her grandmother gave her sat nearby, the gold glistening in the moonlight. The tip was still stained with the evidence of her earlier endeavors. She glanced to the markings up her arm and thought of that red thread of fate. Something like that couldn’t really exist, could it? She doubted there was really anything attaching her to her destiny, especially if that destiny involved Kakashi. She still found it hard to believe that that night they spent together was anything more than two friends reuniting after years of distance. She could not possibly imagine Kakashi feeling anything toward her. It was impossible.

                The longer she sat there, the longer her thoughts began to drive her crazy and she considered picking up that stupid, sharp little hair pin again but decided against it. Instead, she rushed to her window and stuck her head out into the cool night air, gasping for breath. The moon shone high overhead and the streetlights flickered. Beneath one, an older man stood, likely a merchant on his way home. She stared at him as he waved down a small boy with goggles on his head and stripes on his cheeks. She recognized him at once. She regretted being unable to hear exactly what the man was saying but saw him point to the east. She followed his finger to the gates of the Hyuga clan’s land, then looked back to find the boy tilting his head in confusion. _You and me both, kid_.

                No matter how hard she tried to sleep that night, every time she closed her eyes she saw veins of red, threads tangling with one another to make one massive, complicated knot. The scrapes on her arm ached and her chest felt tight and her eyelids began to grow heavy. The old man’s voice rang in her ears. _From the moment we are born, we all have a destiny to fulfill. We are tied to this destiny no matter what else may happen. Even if you cannot see it now, everything is working simply according to fate’s design._ What a bunch of bullshit. She laughed quietly to herself as she rolled over and pulled the sheets up high over her head.

 _Alright, fine_ , she thought to herself, on the verge of sleep. _Let’s test this theory then. Prove to me that this is meant to be. Show me where this red thread leads. Take me to my destiny._


	17. Ninken Ninja Art: Cockblock Jutsu!

                Rei stirred awake feeling more refreshed than ever, a rare occurrence that, quite frankly, left her feeling a little suspicious. She was never fully rested and hadn’t been for years. However, today was one of those days where she didn’t want to cause herself any unnecessary trouble. She decided she wasn’t going to fight it. She slipped on a pair of pants scrunched up on the floor, telling herself she ought to clean though she knew she wouldn’t, and creaked the front door open. _Just as expected_. A small bag of pastries awaited her on her doorstep, the letter attached signed with the trademark henohenomoheji.

                “You’re up early” a voice then called. Rei looked up to find Kakashi standing before her, hands in his pockets. “I suppose you won’t be needing these then?” he then asked, picking up the bag and waving it in front of her face. She pouted, but playfully, and reached for them but Kakashi lifted them out of her grasp. _Damn you for being so much taller than me_ , she thought.

                “That’s not true. I always appreciate breakfast, especially when it’s free” Rei commented.

                “Free for you maybe” Kakashi jested. “Did anyone ever tell you how expensive these things can get?”

                “Nobody ever said you needed to go bankrupt for me, you know” the redhead replied. “What are you doing still hanging around here, anyway? Don’t you have important missions to go on or something?”

                Kakashi shook his head. “Not today. I’ve been given a much needed day off” he grinned.

                A small smirk touched Rei’s lips. “Business must really be slow to let you off the hook for once” she said. It was true that Kakashi was one of the most talented shinobi in the village. Other nations feared him. Not even his ANBU mask could truly secure his identity. If only they knew how much of a dork he secretly was.

                “And what about you?” he then asked. “I’m assuming you’re up so early for work?”

                Rei shook her head. “No, apparently I only ignore my alarm when I’ve got shit to do. I’ll never enjoy a _faire la grasse matinée_ so long as I have a day off.”

                Kakashi chuckled, finally handing over the bag of pastries. “So, you have a day off. And I have a day off. That just so happens to be the same day.”

                “I suppose so” Rei replied. She could feel her cheeks heating up and she begged herself to keep composure.

                “Well, in that case, why don’t we do something?” he proposed.

                “What did you have in mind?” she asked.

                Kakashi shrugged. “Would you like to join me for lunch?”

                Rei’s heart lurched. “Yeah, yeah lunch would be fine” she replied. “Just give me a place and a time.” Kakashi grinned and together, they decided on Ichiraku at noon.

                “So it’s a date then” he said definitively, saluting her before disappearing into a cloud of dust. The word _date_ struck her, but she forced herself to remember that it didn’t necessarily mean anything. She could’ve called their evening together a date, too, or just a friendly reunion. Until Kakashi gave her a straightforward answer, she refused to get her hopes up. She had been disappointed one too many times to make the same mistakes.

                She took her time that morning, indulging in a hot shower and picking at her pastries as she dressed and tied up her hair. Her eyes glided to the kanzashi on her desk and a pang of pain struck her heart. She didn’t want to think about what she had done to herself three weeks ago. She didn’t want to think of the faint scars still lining her arms. She didn’t want to think of what Kakashi would think if he noticed them. She slipped on a long-sleeved shirt and hoped that it wouldn’t be an issue. At least they were healed enough for her to write them off as teenage tragedies.

                For once in her life, she was prepared for something earlier than she should’ve been. At 11:30am, she wandered over to Kakashi’s apartment and rapped on the door lightly. If he was home, she assumed there was no use in waiting around separated just to see each other in a short while. He opened the door with a look of surprise on his face, and immediately she began regretting her decision. “I know I’m early—shocking, I know—but I didn’t want to wait around doing nothing, so I figured I’d stop by and see if you were still around. That’s alright, isn’t it?”

                “Of course” Kakashi replied, ushering her inside. His apartment was spotless and even sparse compared to hers, and she felt a little unusual about it. She remembered the morning she woke up in his bed after a drunken scuffle. He brought her breakfast and offered to walk her home, before he knew “home” was a few doors down the hall. She seated herself on the edge of his bed, suddenly feeling very aware of her presence as she watched him get ready. He slipped into a clean shirt and for those few moments bare-chested, she had completely forgotten everything else going on around her. She had never seen him with his shirt off before, or at least not as an adult. His toned abs and muscular arms were far different from the boyish figure of his youth, the gangly limbs that would splash her in the lake out back when she was young.

                After a few more minutes, Kakashi grinned at his friend and asked “Well, are you ready?” Rei nodded but as she stood up, suddenly the copy ninja disappeared in a cloud of dust. Rei blinked a few times, wondering if perhaps this was just a clone all along and the real Kakashi was at the restaurant already. But then what if he wasn’t? What if he had just up and stood her up? She looked around the room for a moment, internally panicking trying to figure out what to do.

                Kakashi blinked, then, once he realized where he was, was about ready to kick himself. Pakkun sat at his feet. “Hey, Kakashi. Long time no see.”

                “You look nice, Kakashi” Bisuke chimed in. “You going somewhere?”

                “Well, actually” the copy ninja began, “I had plans this afternoon. What seems to be the trouble?”

                “We’ve got a bit of a problem” Pakkun started. “There’s been a nasty flea infestation around here and we’ve all been hit hard. You think you could help us out, Kakashi?”

                The white-haired ninja glanced to the other ninken in the area, scratching the backs of the necks and shaking their heads violently. Bull was even rubbing his back against the trunk of a tree to try and scratch that perfect spot. Sighing, he planted his hand on his forehead and nodded. “Alright. I don’t know how this could’ve happened, but I’ll have you all cleaned up in no time. I may just have the perfect person to lend a hand, too.” Pakkun eyed Kakashi suspiciously but before he could ask what his master meant, he disappeared in a blink.

                Kakashi rematerialized right before Rei back in his apartment. She gasped at the sight of him, then slapped him on the shoulder. “Where the hell did you go? You scared the shit out of me!”

                “Sorry” he replied, rubbing the back of his neck, “But something’s come up. I’m afraid I won’t be able to make lunch today.”

                “Oh…?” Rei asked. She tried not to sound as disappointed as she was. “Well, that’s alright. We can do this another time, then.”

                “Actually” Kakashi then said, “I was thinking maybe you could help me out?”

                “What’s the problem?” she asked. Kakashi flicked his kunai against his thumb and summoned his ninken into his apartment, all of them scratching at their coats.

                “It seems as though all of my ninja hounds have somehow gotten fleas, and they asked me to help them get rid of them” Kakashi explained. “Do you think you would be alright lending a hand?”

                Rei blinked a few times in disbelief. She was not unfamiliar with the ninja hounds and truthfully, she did love dogs anyway. She just simply did not expect her afternoon to take such a sharp turn.

                “This is your idea of the perfect helper?” Pakkun asked. He jumped down from atop Bull’s head to sniff around the girl, having not immediately recognized her. When he picked up on her scent, however, his eyes widened. “Rei, is that you?”

                “Been a long time, hasn’t it, Pakkun?” she asked, kneeling down to scratch him behind the ear.

                “You’ve really grown” he commented. “Glad to see you’re still doing well.” Rei nodded with a soft smile.

                “Oh, boy…” Kakashi sighed, leaning beside Bisuke and combing through his fur. “At this rate, we’ll need to get some pretty strong shampoo to get rid of the likes of these guys” he said, plucking a flea off of Bisuke’s fur. “I’m going to go get some supplies. You take the dogs to the roof where we’ll have more room. I’ll be back soon.” And with that, Kakashi strolled out the door and Rei was left all alone with the hounds.

                “Hey, so what do you think Kakashi had planned this afternoon, anyway?” Urushi asked the others as Rei lead them upstairs.

                “Who knows?” Guruko replied.

                Rei felt her face growing hot. “Well, actually” she chimed in, “he and I were going to grab lunch.”

                The ninken all looked to each other suspiciously, knowing smiles touching their faces. “So like a date?” Uhei asked.

                “No!” Rei replied, sounding probably a little too defensive. “Why is it that every time a guy and a girl do something together, it’s always considered a date?”

                “Well are you dating?” Akino asked. “That would mean it was a date.”

                “Hey, if Kakashi was in a relationship, don’t you think we’d know?” Shiba countered.

                “Yeah, if you were Kakashi’s girlfriend then it would definitely be a date” Uhei agreed.

                “Oh my god, no, Kakashi and I are not together” Rei argued. She hoped she sounded convincing. All this time and she still had no idea what she was to him. Curse his ambiguity. “We’re just two friends who were going to spend a little time together, that’s all.”

                “Okay…” the ninken replied, completely unconvinced.

                “You know, it’s not very healthy to lie to yourself” Bisuke jested.

                Rei shoved the door to the roof of the apartment building open and let the dogs out into the sunlight, grumbling something about _yeah, okay, you’re just a bunch of dogs, what do you know?_

                Luckily, Kakashi was not gone for very long. A few moments had passed during which Rei began playing fetch with the ninken—despite their refusal that they didn’t care for typical dog games, the minute she threw the stick across the rooftop, they all went sprinting—when the door swung open and Kakashi stepped out into the sun carrying a paper bag of supplies. They filled up a washtub of water and rounded up each ninken one by one to soak them and scrub them down.

                “This is humiliating” Uhei complained as Rei rubbed the shampoo into his coat. Soon, he became a walking mass of suds.

                “You want the damn fleas gone, don’t you?” Rei asked. “A little humiliation is a small price to pay for relief.” Kakashi chuckled at her retort, soaping up Pakkun himself.

                “Psst! Hey, Kakashi!” the pug whispered. His master inched closer. “So what’s going on between you two, anyway?”

                “W-what do you mean?” Kakashi stammered. This was clearly an unusual subject and Pakkun could tell he was getting somewhere.

                “Are you and Rei together or something? She said you had plans to go to lunch” the dog explained.

                “Oh, that” Kakashi chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. He had forgotten his hands were covered in soap until he could hear the bubbles popping behind his ear. He quickly dunked his hands into the wash basin and wiped the wad of suds off his head before Rei could notice. “It’s nothing, really. Not anything you need to worry about.”

                Pakkun stared back at his master suspiciously, knowing he was hiding something, but said nothing more on the matter. Besides, actions speak louder than words.

                Once all eight ninja hounds were soaked, shampooed, rinsed, and dried off, they ran around the rooftop barking at one another and shaking the excess water from their fur. Rei stood and wiped the sweat from her brow, smiling as she watched them romp and play. “For shinobi, they really are still a bunch of dogs” she commented.

                Kakashi chuckled and nodded. “It’s to be expected.” Little did they know, these ninken were sneaky and as they played, they barked battle plans at one another. They were plotting something sinister, something to take even their master off guard.

                “I guess we better get all of this cleaned up” Rei finally said after a few beats of silence. Kakashi looked to the wash tub filled with soap, the upturned bottle of shampoo, the soaked towels, and the little uniforms they had stripped the hounds of before their baths.

                Leaning down, he looked up to Rei and said, “Sorry our afternoon had to be reduced to this. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

                “Don’t worry about it” Rei replied, kneeling beside him and shaking her head. She gathered up the towels in her hands and hung them along the nearby clothesline to dry. “I actually had a good time. This was kind of fun.”

                “Really?” Kakashi asked. He genuinely had not expected her to say that. Usually anything like this was a chore—a bunch of sentient dogs ought to be able to care for themselves, right? But then again, he shouldn’t have expected anything less from Rei. He was pleased to see she still retained her childlike taste for the messy.

                Rei turned and nodded in affirmation, brushing her bangs away from her face as Kakashi stood preparing to dump the wash bucket out. That was when the dogs knew it was time. Uhei and Bisuke provided backup as Bull barreled toward Rei’s back, his deep bark echoing through the village. Before she had a moment to react, he pushed into Rei hard, launching her forward with a gasp. Uhei and Bisuke ran around their master to startle him, the wash bucket tumbling and splashing them. Soaking wet, it took all of two seconds for Rei to realize what had resulted from the chaos. She opened her eyes to find herself caught in Kakashi’s arms, their lips pressed together. Her heart pounded against her chest, panicking even moreso when she realized he wasn’t pulling away. She couldn’t tell whether he was simply too shocked to move, or if he was voluntarily staying put. Either way, one thing was undeniable: her and Kakashi were kissing.

                Once the reality of the situation hit him, Kakashi slowly recoiled, blinking. Rei’s cheeked burned red, and she couldn’t bring herself to look him in the eyes. All this time, she had waited for some kind of sign that this wasn’t a dream. Some kind of assurance of Kakashi’s feelings. True, the kiss was an accident, but he lingered. That had to have meant something, didn’t it?

                “Bull. Uhei. Bisuke” Kakashi then said sternly, turning to his dogs. “What was all that about?”

                “Bull saw a butterfly” Uhei explained coolly.

                “A butterfly?” Kakashi repeated, not entirely convinced. The dogs nodded in reply. With a sigh, Kakashi ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. He didn’t have the energy to fight them on this. He walked over to the towels on the clothesline, knowing full well they wouldn’t be dry yet, but checked them anyway just in case.

                “Hey, I wouldn’t worry about those too much” Rei called to him. “I mean, it’s a warm enough day. I’m sure the sun will dry us just as quickly. If you have the time, at least.” Kakashi looked to her and felt his heart swell. This was dangerous. He walked nearer and sat down on the concrete, overlooking the village.

                They sat together in silence for a long while, unsure of what to say to each other, until finally Kakashi spoke. “I’m sorry I never took you to lunch like I said I would.”

                Rei shook her head, eyes locked on the expanse below. “Don’t worry about it. Like I said, I had a good time.”

                “You don’t have to do this” Kakashi replied.

                “Do what?”

                “Say you had a good time to spare my feelings. You won’t hurt me if you tell the truth.”

                Rei blinked, finally looking to him. “What are you talking about? Do you really think I’d lie to you?” Kakashi didn’t respond. Rolling her eyes, Rei fell back onto the concrete and stared up at the clouds overhead. “Do you remember when we were kids, and we’d lay outside and just watch the clouds roll past?” she asked. The copy ninja nodded, hesitantly laying back with her. “I used to look up at them and imagine they were something else, like a dog or a bunny. I was so stupid back then.”

                It was the word _stupid_ that caught Kakashi’s attention the most. “I wouldn’t say stupid” he replied. “We were kids.”

                “Well, sometimes kids do stupid things, like pretend to see animals in the clouds” she replied.

                “Do you see anything in them now?” he asked.

                Rei stared upward, almost vegetative, before replying bluntly, “No. I see nothing.”

                It felt as if a shuriken had ripped through Kakashi’s chest. When did she forsake herself? There was so much spark inside her when she was young. Now, all he saw was fog. He prayed none of this was his fault, though he knew better than to lie to himself. He turned to look at her, to study her features and try to find any semblance of the old her within her sullen face. When he couldn’t, he turned back to the sky and instead inched his hand closer to hers. He felt her fingers twitch at his touch and he feared she would turn away, but she remained still. With a deep breath, he slowly intertwined his fingers with hers. “That one looks like Pakkun.”

                A soft smile touched Rei’s lips. “I think Pakkun is fatter.” The pug’s ears pricked up from across the rooftop, shouting an offended _Hey!_ Rei chuckled softly.

                “Hey, I thought you said you couldn’t see anything” Kakashi then teased, a smirk touching his lips. Perhaps there was still some of the old her inside after all. Perhaps he was even the key to unlocking that trapped child she had buried away so long ago.

                Rei rolled her eyes, then her smile began to fade. After a few moments of charged silence, she asked straightforwardly, “Kakashi, what are we to each other?” She hadn’t expected to pose such an intense question but after so many months of deliberation, she felt it deserved an answer. When would she ever get a chance to ask him again? Now was the only time. Everything hinged on his reply.

                “W-what do you mean?” he stammered. He was caught off-guard, and Rei wasn’t sure if that was good or bad.

                “We’ve been dancing around the subject for far too long, Kakashi. I need to know now: what do you consider me?” she explained. “Sometimes you make me feel like someone special, and other times I feel like I’m just a friend. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know where we draw the line, or if I’ve ever crossed it. I need to know if I’m wasting my time.”

                _Shit._ There was a lot to unpack here, and Kakashi didn’t even know if he had a clear answer. Quite frankly, he had tried not to think about it too much. All he ever knew for certain was that he was given this once in a lifetime opportunity. He wanted to take advantage of it as much as possible before he lost it again. He knew that was inevitable. He knew it was only a matter of time before something happened to tear them apart. That was the way it always worked.

                Rei could see the tinges of pain and conflict flickering across his face as he tried to formulate a proper answer. After a while, however, Rei decided she no longer wanted to know. “You know what? Forget about it, we don’t need to put labels on everything. Just pretend I never asked” she said. She broke free of his grip and sat up, tousling her damp hair and fanning her shirt dry.

                A surge of panic rushed through Kakashi as she began to distance herself. He didn’t mean to push her away. He didn’t mean to ruin things, although a part of him believed he already had a long, long time ago. Now was the time to stop overthinking things, to mute his head and follow his heart. In one quick move, he leapt up and grabbed her hand before she could walk away. He pulled her back to him, tugging his mask down with his other hand, and pressed his lips hard against hers.

                Rei’s heart pounded in her chest, hands shaking. There was no way this was really happening. He released her hand, skating up to cup her cheek. As his lips worked with hers, her panic slowly began to melt away. Soon there was nothing else in the world but her and him, the copy ninja and his childhood best friend. The scarecrow and the bell. Her pinkie flexed, an invisible red string tightening around both of their fingers. A soft, summer breeze rolled over the rooftop.

                Kakashi pulled away slowly, eyes focused on her. He kept his hand firmly on her cheek. A small smile played on his lips, a breathless chuckle. “Does this answer your question?”


	18. Man's Best Friend

                “Kakashi? I’d like to have a talk with you” Sakumo called from the doorway. Kakashi turned to look upon his father, laying in the grass beside his giggling next door neighbor.

                “Aw, ‘Kashi, do you really have to go so soon? It feels like we only just started!” Rei complained. Kakashi sat up and patted her gently on the head.

                “I’ll try to come back later. This sounds important” he replied, then stood and ran off toward his father. The young girl watched him depart longingly, rolling onto her stomach and resting her chin in her hands. She hoped he’d keep his word.

                Sakumo guided his son inside and closed the door slowly, inviting Kakashi to side across from him. This all seemed so formal, and for a moment Kakashi feared he was in trouble. The White Fang could sense his son’s apprehension, however, and bid him a kind, reassuring smile. “I’d like to talk to you about something, Kakashi. If that’s alright.”

                “What is all of this about?” he asked his father.

                “You’ve been progressing spendidly, and I’m very proud. You’ll be a fine shinobi in no time. I’m going on a very important mission in a week, and I’ve been thinking a lot about how you’ll be on your own the whole time” Sakumo explained.

                “I won’t be on my own. I have Rei and Mr. and Mrs. Natsuki” Kakashi explained. So far, whenever Sakumo had gone on missions, he often entrusted Kakashi to the neighbors. Yuruganai Natuski was an old friend from all the way back in the academy and although he had given up becoming a shinobi long ago, they still remained close.

                Sakumo nodded slowly, then sighed. “I know, but I want to make sure you can take care of yourself, as well. Mr. and Mrs. Natsuki will not always be there for you.” The thought of something happening to them made Kakashi uneasy. They had always been there, he didn’t know life without them right next door. And then there was Rei…

                “So what does that mean?” Kakashi asked.

                “It means I think it’s time I entrusted you with something very important” Sakumo explained. He then stood, bit the tip of his thumb, and in a puff of smoke summoned a large white wolf dog. “This is Tsuyoi, my ninken. She has been my summon since I was a young boy. Tsuyoi is the chief of a clan of ninja hounds who recently took in a group of orphaned puppies. I would like you to make a contract with them and train them as your summons.”

                Kakashi blinked a few times, trying to comprehend everything that his father had just told him. He had never seen his father in battle, and therefore had never met Tsuyoi before but he could tell she was strong and powerful and capable. He imagined a litter of puppies just like her that would someday grow into beautiful white hounds with sharp teeth and rough barks. His own ninken.

                He approached Tsuyoi carefully, extending a hand for her to sniff. She did so gladly, then nuzzled the young boy’s cheek to show she approved of him. “I expected nothing less from Sakumo’s son” a woman’s voice then spoke. Kakashi recoiled and blinked.

                “Did that dog just talk?” he asked. Sakumo chuckled and nodded.

                “Yes, she did. All of the ninken in Tsuyoi’s clan can speak” Sakumo replied. “Of course, much like human babies, I don’t expect the puppies to know how to speak yet but that’s just something you’ll have to teach them, as well.”

                Kakashi’s head was reeling. This was unbelievable. He excitedly asked how to start the contract process and where the puppies were, he was so desperate to meet them. Sakumo pressed his palm to the floor yet and again and immediately they appeared in another cloud of smoke. However, the novelty suddenly vanished when Kakashi laid eyes on them. “These are the dogs?” he asked. “I thought they were going to be white wolf dogs like Tsuyoi?”

                “You don’t want them now?” Sakumo asked. Kakashi knelt down to inspect the pups, mismatched and squirmy and small. The tiniest, a wrinkly little pug, squirmed between the others whimpering and yawning. Then, rolling over onto his back with his tongue lopping out of the side of his mouth, he blinked and looked up at Kakashi with his big, brown eyes. In that moment, something in the young boy shifted. He reached down and scratched behind the dog’s ear with his index finger, and the dog began cycling his little back leg in glee.

                Kakashi laughed softly at the pup, murmuring “You’re such a little Pakkun.”

                “Hmm? What was that?” Sakumo asked.

                “It sounds like he’s already thought of a name” Tsuyoi replied.

                “What? No…I was just…well, maybe…” Kakashi stammered. These dogs had enchanted him quicker than he expected them to. They all began waking up from their sleepy states, sniffing and licking at Kakashi’s fingers and leaping up into his lap. Eventually, they knocked him over and began licking his face. The young boy erupted in a fit of laughter.

                “I’d say this is a done deal” Sakumo replied to Tsuyoi. The wolf dog nodded with a proud smile. Sakumo and Tsuyoi walked Kakashi through the contracting process and then by sunset, the dogs were his. He laid awake that night smiling to himself, every puppy piled onto his bed, and tried to brainstorm names for each of them. So far, the only one he was sure of was Pakkun. He looked over at the little pug curled up on his pillow and scratched his head affectionately. These dogs weren’t nearly what he expected but they were still good. He could learn to love them, not fully aware yet that he already did.

                 Rei peered over the fence of her front yard as Kakashi strolled down the lane after school. She balled up a piece of scrap paper from a drawing she didn’t like and tossed it at him, hitting him right on the forehead.

                “What the heck was that for?” he shouted to Rei.

                “Where did you go last night? You said you’d come back and you didn’t!” she shouted back.

                “Is that what this is about?” he called back to her. She gave a strong, definitive nod, preparing another paper ball. “I had something important to take care of!” he called back.

                “You just didn’t want to spend time with me, that’s it!” she refuted. “You don’t like me anymore, ‘Kashi!”

                “Rei, that makes no sense!” Kakashi argued. The little girl wasn’t buying it, however. Jutting her bottom lip out, she launched her second paper ball toward her friend but instead of hitting his forehead again, this time a tiny tan dog leapt out from nowhere and caught it in his mouth. Rei yelped, fumbled with the gate, and then chased after the dog shouting.

                “You come back here, you dumb dog! That’s mine!” she shouted.

                “Hey, don’t call him dumb!” Kakashi shouted, running after her. The other ninken followed suit. “He’s my dog!”

                Rei skidded to a stop and looked at him skeptically, her eyes then falling on the other dogs nearby. “What do you mean he’s your dog?”

                “All of them are my dogs” Kakashi explained. “They’re my new summoning animals. My dad gave them to me last night. He said he was going on a big mission soon and didn’t want to leave me home alone, so he gave me these.” As he spoke, the tan dog trotted up beside Rei, nudged her hand, then dropped the paper ball at her feet, mushy with slobber. She stuck her tongue out and fought the urge to gag.

                “But you’re not alone, ‘Kashi, you have me and my mommy and daddy” she explained. “What do you need all these dogs for?”

                “They’re not just for when my dad’s gone, Rei. I’m going to train them to fight with me in battle” he explained. “They’re not just pets, they’re ninja hounds.”

                Rei crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, not wanting to look the puppies in the eye. She knew exactly what happened around puppies: they steal your heart in five seconds, flat. “That’s still not a good enough excuse for leaving me, ‘Kashi.”

                Kakashi sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Rei. Do you forgive me?”

                Rei pouted and contemplated his question. “You’ve gotta make it up to me, first.”

                “What? How?” Kakashi asked.

                The redhead paused a moment before a sly grin spread across her face. “Let me name one of your doggies.” She thought it was a fair request. After all, they were the reason he abandoned her the night before. She deserved a hand in naming at least one of them. And truthfully, though he didn’t want to admit it, Kakashi had a really hard time thinking of good names for all the rest anyway. The only one he could think of so far was Bull for the black bulldog, even though he wasn’t sure he liked it much. He wasn’t sure if it was too stupid and obvious.

                “Alright, which one do you want to name?” Kakashi asked.

                “Well, which one doesn’t have a name yet?” Rei countered.

                Kakashi paused a moment, then replied. “All but two.” He pointed to the pug and the bulldog, announcing their names accordingly.

                “You’re terrible at this, Kakashi” Rei replied. “How could you possibly let these other doggies run around nameless? You’re gonna be terrible when you have kids!”

                “Ew…” the young boy muttered. He watched as Rei knelt down and surveyed her choices. She turned first to a scruffy brown dog with sharp teeth and angry eyes. Without an ounce of fear, she lifted his upper lip up to get a better look at his fangs, and then nodded confidently. “This one is Urushi.”

                “Where did you get a name like that from?”

                “Because his teeth are shiny and protective, like lacquer!” Rei explained, then with a proud grin said “That’s a word I found in one of Daddy’s books. It’s a smart word.”

                “Okay, Urushi it is. Now what about the others?” Kakashi asked. One by one, she inspected and assigned names to each of the puppies in the clan. The gray one with the mohawk she named Shiba because she thought he looked like a shiba inu, the golden tan and white one with beady eyes she named Akino because his fur reminded her of autumn, Uhei for the greyhound because in that moment he had trotted to the edge of the lake and began sniffing the sweet flag that grew there, and Guruko for the long-whiskered dog because he was the first to lick her which made him sweet like honey. The last one, who by this point was in her lap licking her face wildly, she named Bisuke because she thought naming a dog after a biscuit was a good idea. Of all the dogs Kakashi had acquired, she was certain that this one had to be her favorite, and he seemed to like her a lot, too.

                Kakashi smiled at the two of them as he sat down beside Rei with the other dogs. She grinned at him proudly, saying “You’re welcome. Now these little doggies won’t have to run around without a single clue who they are!”

                Kakashi had to admit, he thought her justifications for many of the names was rather clever and cute. She certainly came up with ideas he never would’ve expected, but he liked them just the same. They seemed to just fit. Now it was just a matter of raising them and training them to become the shinobi they were capable of becoming. A butterfly flitted past the group and Bull immediately leapt up and ran after it, panting with great determination. This was going to be a lot of work, but Kakashi was committed now. These were his dogs, they were his responsibility. He was going to love them and take care of them and train them to become the most loyal and skilled ninja hounds there ever were.


	19. The White Fang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late Poem to My Father   
> Sharon Olds
> 
> Suddenly I thought of you  
> as a child in that house, the unlit rooms  
> and the hot fireplace with the man in front of it,  
> silent. You moved through the heavy air  
> in your physical beauty, a boy of seven,  
> helpless, smart, there were things the man  
> did near you, and he was your father,  
> the mold by which you were made. Down in the  
> cellar, the barrels of sweet apples,  
> picked at their peak from the tree, rotted and  
> rotted, and past the cellar door  
> the creek ran and ran, and something was  
> not given to you, or something was  
> taken from you that you were born with, so that  
> even at 30 and 40 you set the  
> oily medicine to your lips  
> every night, the poison to help you  
> drop down unconscious. I always thought the  
> point was what you did to us  
> as a grown man, but then I remembered that  
> child being formed in front of the fire, the  
> tiny bones inside his soul  
> twisted in greenstick fractures, the small  
> tendons that hold the heart in place  
> snapped. And what they did to you  
> you did not do to me. When I love you now,  
> I like to think I am giving my love  
> Directly to that boy in the fiery room,
> 
> As if it could reach him in time.

                There was an ominous charge in the air. Rei could feel it even before she knew what was happening. Everyone was angry about something she didn’t quite understand. They were making faces and comments, there were sneers and insults from the shinobi community. The only thing Rei comprehended about any of it was that they were saying things about Kakashi’s dad.

                She stared in curiosity as she watched one man argue with him from outside the dango shop, cursing and saying terrible things. _You’re a disgrace of a shinobi. You have no respect for the rules. You should’ve let them die rather than fail the mission that was assigned to you. Shinobi are expected to die anyway. I can’t believe we ever looked up to you._

                Rei couldn’t understand it. What was it that made Mr. Hatake suddenly so hated? Before he left, he was popular and celebrated and now everyone had something nasty to say. Before she could hear anymore, Yuruganai tugged her hand hard and insisted they were leaving. His face was stony and cruel. He scared her and she didn’t dare defy him.

                That evening, there was a knock at the door during dinner. Hana rose slowly and answered to find Sakumo standing before them. She invited him inside, offered him some food or a cup of tea, but he politely refused. “I wanted to ask a favor of you, if that’s alright.” Yuruganai, seeing it as his duty, rose from his seat and ushered Sakumo into the living area. Rei never did know what was said that night, but she knew it was must have been insanely important. When Yurganai returned, his face had turned stony and sour once again.

                “What’s wrong, Daddy?” Rei asked quietly. She didn’t want to test his temper, but her curiosity was eating her alive. He replied with a blunt _nothing_.

                Rei would never forget his face in those last halcyon days. She could tell Sakumo looked tired, his skin was paler than usual and there were dark circles under his eyes. Every time she heard someone say something mean about him, she wanted to kick them in the shins and scream at them but Hana always dragged her away and scolded her for being so loud and trying to cause a scene. It was as if nobody understood, even though she herself didn’t even really understand. All she knew was that Mr. Hatake didn’t deserve to be treated so cruelly. He didn’t deserve to be bullied like he was. Why was that so hard for everyone else to understand?

                Kakashi seemed dazed and distacted staring up at the clouds as he lay beside her in the grass. They hadn’t spoken for a full ten minutes. She hesitantly scooted her hand closer to his and then interlocked her fingers, a sheepish smile touching her lips. He looked over to her, blinking a few times as if waking from a dream. “You okay, ‘Kashi?” she asked.

                “Yeah, I’m fine” he lied after a beat of silence. Rei scrunched up her nose, unconvinced. She was almost angry with him. She cherished this time she spent with him every afternoon, and here he was wasting it by being silent. Especially now of all times, with two days left before she was to begin the academy.

                A bird chirped overhead. The front door to Kakashi’s home slid open and Sakumo shuffled out with a watering can. Rei watched him kneel down slowly, like a senile man, and tend to the herbs in the front yard before shuffling back inside. He barely gave so much as a smile to the pair. Whatever the people in town were saying must have left him feeling pretty down.

                “I wonder what’s going on with your dad” Rei then blurted, without even thinking. “He seems so sad. I hear everyone talk about him all the time. They say the meanest things. I wonder why? I thought everyone loved him.”

                “Rei, don’t” Kakashi interrupted, but the redhead hardly heard him.

                “I bet we could do something to cheer him up. Something to show him that we care! I bet he’d like that. The only question is what. Maybe bake him a cake? I don’t know what kind he likes, though. I bet my dad does! I should ask him! If he’s not too busy. My mom can help us, and then we can surprise him, and make him a big card with a huge heart on it, and sing him happy songs, and then he’ll smile and—”

                “Rei, shut up!” Kakashi then snapped, jolting upright. He locked eyes with her and for a moment, Rei didn’t even recognize him as her friend. Instead, he was someone else entirely and that terrified her to her very core.

                “K-Kakashi…” she murmured, trying to fight back tears. He sighed before lifting himself up off the lawn and brushing the grass off of his clothes. He walked toward her front gate, never looking back. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. She shouted his name and there was no answer. She leapt to her feet and ran after him, wrapping her tiny arms around his waist but he just peeled her off. “K-Kakashi, please! What’s the matter?”

                “I’m fine” Kakashi replied, staring off across the street. “I just want to go home. I’m tired.” He then unlatched the gate and walked away. As he disappeared inside of his own house, she fell to her knees in the grass and wept pathetically.

                That night at dinner, Kakashi and his father sat in silence. The young ninja could barely eat, there were so many thoughts flurrying through his mind. He hated the way everyone spoke about his father. He hated how clearly their words affected him by the look on his face, so devoid of life and happiness. So angry at the way things were, at the way he had fucked up. Deep down, Kakashi was beginning to question his idol. For so long, everything his father did was perfect. He wanted to be exactly like him when he was older, a gifted and respectable shinobi. But perhaps that was all a lie. Perhaps Sakumo Hatake was not nearly as gifted and respectable as Kakashi had always believed. He abandoned a mission to save a comrade, he broke the rules, and now he was facing the consequences. What did that say about the kind of person he was? These thoughts made Kakashi uncomfortable, and he desperately tried to shove them out of his head but to no avail. The more he resisted, the harder they pushed. He rose from the table, announcing he was no longer hungry, and disappeared to his room.

                He grabbed a kunai from his desk, slit his thumb, and summoned his ninja hounds. Still puppies, he knew they could scarcely help him but just their presence had grown into a comfort for Kakashi. Especially when it came to Pakkun. The sweet little pug seemed to have taken a great liking to Kakashi, always sleeping on the pillow beside him at night and nuzzling his hand. They piled on top of him in bed, snorting and sniffing, and there Kakashi laid for hours on end staring at the ceiling and rubbing behind their ears in hopes of finding some way to organize all the wild thoughts clouding his mind.

                Kakashi awoke to a persistent pounding in his head and a musty flavor in his mouth. The ninken had shifted in the middle of the night so that now they were piled on top of him and he was unable to move. He didn’t particularly want to kick them off but he could hardly swallow and he needed water and there was a strange light filtering through the room which made him fear that he had slept until the late afternoon. With a sigh, he wiggled out from under the dogs and rushed to the bathroom, ripping his mask down and guzzling as much water as he could handle. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand when he was done and then looked at himself in the mirror for a moment, white hair sticking up in all directions and eyes drowsy and bloodshot. He looked far older than he really was. Weary and beaten down. Broken.

                Tiptoeing toward the living area, he looked around the property to find everything eerily still. A clap of thunder shook the sky. The door was creaked ajar. Kakashi’s heart pounded. Peering inside, all was dark until a flash of lightning illuminated a dark figure piled on the floor. Kakashi swallowed hard, fearing the worst. “Father…?” he asked slowly, voice low and hesitant. There was no answer. His heart began pounding in his chest, his palms growing sweaty. He jumped at another clap of thunder. Biting his lip, he slowly stepped forward, hoping that perhaps this was all just a dream. Or maybe he had misinterpreted things. Maybe somehow someone had just left a pile of dirty clothes on the floor, and at any moment his father would walk up behind him and ask him what he was doing. Or maybe Bull had lumbered out of Kakashi’s room in the middle of the night and passed out on the tatami instead.

                Kakashi knew damn well that he was impeccable at laundry and that Bull was on his bed when he woke up.

                He crept ever closer, standing over the figure now, and for a moment he was positive he was going to be sick. Another flash of lightning struck the sky and then it was undeniable. Laying before him, crumpled up on the floor, was his father. The White Fang of the Leaf. Sakumo Hatake. His tanto was on the floor, mere inches away from his fingers, coated in blood. Kakashi swallowed back the bile rising in his throat, clenching his fists at his side. _How could you do this?_

                Rei remembered that afternoon vividly. It haunted her for years afterward. She remembered sitting on the floor surrounded by stuffed animals and books, trying to get her mind off the thunder roaring overhead. She remembered the knock at the door, the lightning strike as Hana answered to find Kakashi on the other side, face distant and bleak. His ninken crowded behind him. He didn’t even need to say anything. Hana knew something was wrong immediately. She shuffled him inside, eyeing his dogs suspiciously but welcoming them just the same. _Sit down a moment, I’ll be right back_ she said frantically, rushing off to get her husband. Rei could feel his eyes burning through her back. She wanted to say something but was still upset from the other day. She felt as if it was not her place. Kakashi drew his knees to his chest and focused his attention on the ninken surrounding. Voices swelled from the other room. Knowing Kakashi wouldn’t care, Rei rose to press her ear against the wall in hopes of figuring out what was going on. She could scarcely make out the conversation, but what she could make out terrified her. _What the hell was going on?_

Before she could glean anything more, a wrinkled hand pressed itself to her shoulder and she turned to find Grandma Teiko staring down at her, shaking her head as if to silently tell her to step away. Rei knew not to protest, even if she wanted the truth. “It’s best not to eavesdrop, no matter how badly you want intel” Grandma Teiko whispered, sending her back to her toys. She glanced to Kakashi from the corner of her eye and her heart ached.

                The police crowded outside, asking Hana and Yuruganai a thousand different questions. Kakashi watched from the porch as they shuffled in and out of his house, and then carted Sakumo away in a body bag. Rei saw the dark mass and immediately felt as if she was going to throw up. Her hands began to shake at her sides and her face grew hot and sticky. “’Kashi…what’s going on?” she asked quietly, voice wavering. Kakashi didn’t look at her. He didn’t even want to speak with her, but he knew she deserved an answer.

                “My father. He’s dead” was all he said. Another vein of lightning pierced the sky, and then there was nothing but silence and the dark.

                The funeral was held on a Sunday. They all dressed in black, Hana and Yuruganai squeezing Rei’s hands. _It’s like someone spilled a pot of ink_ , she thought as she looked out upon the mourners. There was such a somber tone in the air, challenged by the obnoxious sunlight over head. It was inappropriate weather for a funeral. Kakashi stood squarely before his father’s grave, the photo of Sakumo staring back at him. Smiling. Happy. There were murmurs in the back few rows, hostile whispers in disrespect for the dead. Rei glared back at them and tugged her wrists from her parents’ grip, fully ready to fight, but was ultimately restrained and scolded. On the way home, Grandma Teiko stopped to discipline them in an act of bravery that no one else could manage. Kakashi disappeared.

                In the following weeks, Sakumo’s name was all that was on anyone’s lips. More often than not, it was enveloped in nasty phrases of _he deserved it_. Kakashi kept his distance, barely saying a word to his best friend. Rei zoned out often in class just thinking about him, knowing that it was not long ago that he sat in this same exact room. All the other children were older than her and looked at her as if she was some alien from another planet. They wanted nothing to do with her and quite frankly, she wanted nothing to do with them. All she wanted was Kakashi, and to know that he was okay.

                “You seem down” a voice called to her one afternoon. Rei turned from her homework to find Grandma Teiko standing before her, leaning on her cane with a smile on her face.

                “Homework sucks” Rei pouted.

                “Well something tells me it’s not the homework that’s getting to you” Teiko replied. “But if you don’t mind, I’d like to steal away just a few minutes of your time.” Rei shut her book and turned to face the old woman with a sigh of relief. “I want to talk with you about what happened a few weeks ago. The incident next door.”

                “Oh…” Rei replied, her face falling. She didn’t want to think about it. She hadn’t been sleeping lately. Images of that black body bag haunted her every time she closed her eyes, Sakumo’s lifeless eyes burning through the fabric.

                “Now, I know death can be a very traumatizing experience” Grandma Teiko began, “Especially when witnessed by someone so young as yourself. Unfortunately, it is but a natural part of life that we all must face eventually. Sooner or later, we will all die, too.”

                “Grandma Teiko, is this supposed to make me feel better?” Rei interrupted. “Because I don’t think it’s working.”

                “Hush, girl, and let your grandmother finish. I haven’t made my point yet” she disciplined. “Just because death is a natural part of life, that doesn’t mean it’s easy to handle. Now, I want you to answer me honestly: have you been handling this alright?”

                Rei paused a moment before slowly shaking her head. “Not really…”

                “Tell me what you’ve been feeling” Teiko asked.

                “I don’t know…” Rei replied. “I guess…scared. I think about it a lot. And when I do, I feel…icky.”

                “Icky?”

                “Yeah…icky…like…like when I bite into a soft tomato and feel like I’m going to throw up and my body gets shaky and my stomach does somersaults. Kind of like that.”

                “I see” Teiko nodded. “Over time, the grief we feel for the death of a loved one will fade and we won’t feel so sad and ‘icky’ anymore. It’s the process of getting there that can be tough sometimes.”

                Rei nodded slowly, before then asking “Grandma?” Teiko nodded once. “There’s something else that’s bugging me, too. It’s Kakashi.”

                “I had a feeling you’d say that” Teiko replied. “I want you to think of the way you feel whenever you think of what happened to Mr. Hatake, and then imagine if that was your own father. How would you feel then?”

                “Pretty sad” Rei replied. “I know Daddy and I don’t really get along, and he really hates that I want to be a ninja just like Kakashi, but if he died I don’t know what I would do.”

                “Kakashi is struggling right now” Teiko replied. “He is facing something no child should ever have to face. This is very difficult on him, not only because his father is gone now but because of why his father is gone and how he died. Do you understand?”

                “Not really” Rei said.

                “Sakumo Hatake died because people stopped believing in him” Teiko explained. “He chose to save the lives of his friends over completing a mission, and many people were angry about that. Many people thought he should have let his friends die instead. They said that a good shinobi always follows the rules and that in choosing his friends over his assignment, he broke those rules and was a bad shinobi because of it” Teiko continued. Rei listened intently, folding her hands tight in her lap. “I’m sure you’ve heard some very mean things said about Sakumo throughout the village, haven’t you?” Here, Rei nodded. “How did that make you feel?”

                “Angry” Rei said. “Mr. Hatake was a good man! I don’t think everyone should be so mean to him. Especially now.”

                “I agree” Teiko explained. “Do you know the expression ‘sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me’?” Rei nodded again. “Well, sometimes names do hurt. Sometimes words are even more powerful than physical blows. Words have the power to change the way we feel about ourselves and the way we think about things. That’s what happened with Mr. Hatake. All of those mean things that people said about him piled up on top of each other and hurt him so much that he couldn’t take it anymore. Unfortunately, because of that, he decided to take his own life. Do you understand?”

                “He…he killed himself?” Rei asked. Her eyes had grown wide and her hands were beginning to shake. “But…but why? Why would he do that? Doesn’t he know that what everyone says is stupid and that they were wrong?”

                Teiko placed a gentle hand on Rei’s shoulder in an attempt to calm her. “It’s all said and done now, there’s no use getting angry about it” she said softly. “But yes, I’m sure he did know this. However, sometimes that is not enough. Sometimes that doesn’t matter, especially when people refuse to believe anything else.”

                “But what about Kakashi? He doesn’t have a father now! His father left and he’s never coming back!” Rei shouted. She couldn’t contain herself. This was too much. Her hands were shaking faster and faster and her face was growing red hot.

                “I know, Rei. I know it’s hard to accept” Teiko said. “Kakashi is hurting, too, more than any of us can really imagine. As much as I wish there was something we could do, all that we can really manage is to just be there for him and let him deal with this in his own way.”

                “I feel so hopeless” Rei murmured after a few moments. “I just want everything to be back to the way it used to be. I want us all to be happy again. I want Mr. Hatake to be happy. I want Mr. Hatake to be alive so Kakashi won’t be alone, and so he can be happy again, too.”

                “I know” Teiko said, now stroking Rei’s red hair. “Death is a tricky situation to deal with, but I want you to promise me something, alright?” Rei looked up at her. “I want you to promise me that no matter what happens, and no matter what anyone may say to you, I don’t want you to ever, ever do to yourself what Mr. Hatake did. Do you understand? No matter how beaten down and broken you feel, no matter how much you feel like nobody believes in you, I don’t want you to ever think that killing yourself is the answer. There is always another way out. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And there is always someone you can come to for help. Like me.”

                Rei rubbed her nose with the back of her hand and nodded. “I don’t think I’d ever do anything like that to myself. I don’t believe in it. If I ever have a problem, I’ll come to you for sure. You’ll always be there for me, Grandma Teiko. You’re the only one who really understands me anyway!” A soft smile touched Teiko’s aged, wrinkled lips as she pressed a small kiss upon her granddaughter’s head.

                “Good. I’m glad. Don’t ever break that promise, okay?”

                “Okay, I promise! I promise!”

                Rei dug her grubby little fingers into the dirt and dug out a hole big enough for her fist. The flowers her mother had brought home were beautiful, but she said they would thrive better in the yard than in a vase. _The dirt gives them more room to grow_ , she said. Rei wondered if that was true of people, too. She looked to the dirt caked under her fingernails and imagined herself as a dainty little flower growing big and strong someplace where she could feel free. Someplace where she could embrace what she was rather than live confined someplace just to look pretty.

                “Hey! Hey, you!” a voice then called over the fence, snapping her from her thoughts. Rei squinted up to find a young boy with goggles standing in the street staring at her. “Do you know a kid named Kakashi?” he asked. A girl with brown hair and purple warpaint on her cheeks stood behind him.

                “Who wants to know?” Rei called back, standing up and wiping the dirt on her shorts. She wondered if that made her look rebellious and tough. These kids were clearly older than her, like the ones in the academy who didn’t like her much. She remembered seeing them around, actually, in a higher class than herself.

                “I’m Obito Uchiha!” the kid with the goggles announced confidently. Rei rolled her eyes. So he was one of those kids. Great. She knew _exactly_ the kind of person he was, then, and she most certainly would not get along well with him.

                “And I’m Rin Nohara” the girl replied sweetly. “We were just wondering if Kakashi lived around here! We wanted to say hi. He seemed upset at school today.”

                So they had no idea. Rei really didn’t want to go through the whole process of telling them, nor did she think it was her responsibility to inform them of what was going on in someone else’s life. Besides, she didn’t really want them to know, anyway. She didn’t trust them. Who said it was their job to check on him, anyway? Rei cared about him more than anyone and if Kakashi didn’t want to speak with her, he sure as hell wasn’t going to want to speak to them.

                “You’re out of luck” Rei replied, brushing her hair back and scraping dirt through her bangs. “Kakashi doesn’t want to talk to anyone.”

                “Maybe he’ll make an exception then” Obito said.

                “Just give it up” Rei replied. “It’s not happening. I already told you he doesn’t want to see anyone.”

                It was then that Rin, the brunette, blinked a few times and stepped closer. “Hey, don’t I know you from somewhere?” she cocked her head to the side. Rei eyed her suspiciously. “Yeah! You go to the academy, don’t you?” she asked. “You’re pretty young for an academy student. You must be really talented!” Rei rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, not saying a word. She didn’t need compliments from someone who was very likely to otherwise say mean things about her behind her back. That was the way it always went. This girl had no reason to be any different. After a few moments of silence, Rin turned and tugged Obito’s wrist. “Well, let’s go back home, Obito.”

                “Wait, but we didn’t even--!” Obito started but Rin shook her head.

                “It’s getting late, and dinner is soon. We can try again tomorrow!” she announced, and then they both ran back down the street, waving at Rei as they departed. She didn’t wave back but rather glared at them until they disappeared out of sight.

                They had no idea and therefore had no right. Even if Kakashi didn’t want to speak to her right now, that didn’t matter for what Rei felt she needed to do. She was going to protect Kakashi for as long as he needed her to. Not that he really needed her to, or at least she was sure he would protest if he ever found out, but she would do him a silent solid. She would guard him from whatever else the world had to offer so that perhaps he could be happy again. At the end of the day, that was really all she ever wanted: for him to be happy. And if he could be happy because of something she had done? Well, then that was even better.


	20. Carrots

                The Academy called out to Rei from the middle of Konoha, drawing her nearer with the promise of fulfilling her dreams. She knew she wouldn’t see Kakashi there but the thought of sitting where he sat not too long ago excited her. She hugged her lunchbox to her chest as she peered into a classroom brimming with unruly students, all of them older than he by two or three years. She wondered which ones she would put into a squad with when she finally made genin, and hoped they were friendly. She claimed a seat at the back of the room, right by a window, assuming that if she sat up higher then perhaps she would appear bigger and more important. She tucked her lunchbox under her desk and swung her legs back and forth as she peered out at the training grounds outside.  

                “Hey, what do you think you’re doing?” a voice then called. Rei turned to find a tall, blue-haired girl staring down at her. She appeared older than the rest, way too older for a first year class. Her eyes were full of fire and something else that Rei, at the time, couldn’t quite pinpoint.

                “What do you mean? I’m just waiting for class to start” Rei replied.

                “I mean what do you think you’re doing in _my_ seat?” the girl elaborated.

                Rei blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what she had just said. Were there already assigned seats? It was only the first day. “Well, I got here first” she argued.

                “Tough shit” the girl replied. “I saw it and I want it so it’s mine, understand?”

                “Oh yeah, because that makes a lot of sense” Rei replied, voice dripping in sarcasm.

                “Are you looking to fight?” the blue-haired girl replied, leaning in close with gritted teeth.

                “Do you?” Rei replied back, matching the intensity in her stare. A few other students had noticed the commotion and were now enraptured in the promise of a fight. They were banking on seeing Rei get the lights knocked out of her, convinced that someone so tiny and weak couldn’t possibly hold her own. Especially when her opponent was so much bigger than her.

                “You’d be smart not to take me on” the blue-haired girl said. “I eat kids like you for breakfast.”

                “That’s cannibalism” Rei countered.

                Just then, their instructor entered the room and slammed the eraser against the blackboard. He eyed Rei suspiciously, threatening to kick her out of the classroom if she didn’t stop causing such a commotion. Rei tried to explain that it wasn’t her fault, that she didn’t start anything, but the man wouldn’t hear of it. While she was distracted, the blue-haired girl shoved her out of her seat and stole it for herself.

                The trend continued through the follow weeks. Soon, the blue-haired girl, whose name Rei learned was Sekkachi Fumeiyo, had amassed an entire army of students pitted against the young girl. They all hated her and thought she didn’t belong there, teasing her tirelessly between lessons and at recess and during lunch.

                “Hey!” one of the boys called to her one afternoon, catching her by the trash can as she threw away the rest of her lunch. Their daily cruelty never failed to extinguish her appetite. Rei looked up at him, blinking, as he edged nearer. “You know, I bet you’d be prettier you smiled more.”

                For a moment, Rei mistook this for a genuine interest. Was he telling her she deserved to be happy? That she deserved to smile regardless of what the others said about her? The corners of her mouth tugged upward, a slight giggle rising in her throat, and then she grinned wide, her eyes squinting as she bared all of her teeth.

                “I guess not, then!” the kid then gasped amidst laughter. Then, slapping his friend’s shoulder, he drew their attention to her and proclaimed “Carrots!”

                “Wait, w-what?” Rei asked, her smile quickly fading.

                “That’s what we’re gonna call you from now on! Carrots!” the one explained.

                “What does that even mean?” she asked.

                “Have you seen your hair? And those teeth!” the first boy shouted. A few other children had gathered around then and began chanting _Carrots! Carrots!_ in mocking sing-song until Rei grew red in the face. She slammed her entire lunch box into the trash can and ran off behind a nearby tree, her only safe space. Her foot landed right in an ant hill and a bunch of tiny, insufferable fire ants ran up her legs.

                “I knew I had a bad feeling about this” Hana murmured as she rubbed ointment on her daughter’s legs. Rei wiped her nose with the back of her hand and tried not to cry. It wasn’t the ant bites that bothered her so much as everything else that had happened. She looked out across the lawn to Kakashi’s house next door and wondered if he was inside. She had hardly seen him since his father died.

                “I just want to be a strong ninja like Kakashi” Rei murmured under her breath, turning her gaze to the floor.

                “Rei, sweetheart, sometimes no matter how much we may want something, it’s just not meant to be” Hana said in a loving tone. “So far your time at the academy has been nothing but disastrous. This was a good try, but perhaps you’d be better off just following in your father’s footsteps and working at the bookstore instead?”

                Pursing her lips together, Rei shook her head and shoved past her mother. “You don’t understand at all!” She swung around the corner and ran all the way to the other end of the house, unable to stop the tears from streaming down her face now. She ran and ran until she bumped headfirst into none other than Grandma Teiko, who gazed down at her with kindly suspicion.

                “Well, what’s all this about?” she asked. Rei could scarcely bring herself to speak.

                There were many things that Rei found she was able to force herself to tolerate. Starvation, tugged pigtails, the names and insults the others flung at her. However, there was one thing she could not stand for. As she sat behind her tree picking apart her lunch, she overhead Sekkachi near the monkey bars preaching to a smattering of other students.

                “…said he broke the rules just to save his comrades. I don’t know about you, but I think that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard! If I were in that position, I would’ve just let everyone else die. They’re not my responsibility, anyway. If they weren’t good enough to hold their own in a fight, then they don’t deserve to live. I think the White Fang had it coming.”

                The boys surrounding her nodded and chattered in agreement, staring up at her as if she was a goddess preaching the gospel truth. Perhaps it was because she was older and taller, or maybe because she wore crop tops and had three piercings on each ear, but they idolized her.

                Rei squeezed her chopsticks until they broke in half, clenching her teeth in an attempt to keep her mouth shut. She only lasted for another forty five seconds.

                “You filthy--!” she shrieked, leaping out from behind her tree and pouncing onto Sekkachi’s back. The girl shrieked and tumbled face-first into the ground, calling Rei a psychopath and shouting at her to get off. Rei didn’t care. She pummeled her fists into Sekkachi’s back and then, when the blue-haired kunoichi rolled over, into her face. Her punches weren’t very strong, but they were backed by a force hard to compete with: passion. “Sakumo Hatake was a great man! You have no right to talk about him like that! You don’t know anything about him!”

                A whistle blared across the yard and three instructors surged forward, peeling Rei off her opponent kicking and screaming. It wasn’t until they were separated that Rei noticed the blood dripping down Sekkachi’s chin, the dark circles beneath her eyes and pallor of her skin. She gripped one of the instructor’s arms tightly, as if her entire mobility depended on it. Rei watched them escort her away, hearing them mumble something about getting her to the hospital. She glanced down at her tiny, scratched up fists in disbelief. How could she really have done so much damage? One of the other instructors gripped her by the arm and tugged her inside the building. “Come on, you. You’re suspended.”

                Dinner was a silent affair that night. Yuruganai clutched his chopsticks hard as if he was struggling not to snap. Rei was not in the room when Hana told him the news, but from the volume of his shouts, he was not happy. Rei didn’t blame him. She had begged and pleaded to enroll in the academy for so long, and now she had screwed everything up. There was no one to blame but herself. After a few more minutes, she pushed her food away from her, asked to be excused, and before receiving an answer, scurried off to her bedroom.

                She peered out across the lawn to Kakashi’s house, his bedroom window in line with her own. If only things were like the old days, when they would play peek-a-boo across the stretch of land separating their houses when they were meant to be asleep. Rei would laugh hysterically and her parents would hear and come scolding her for staying up so late. Now all that faced her was darkness.

                The more she laid there in the silence, the more her thoughts consumed her until she couldn’t take it anymore. A fierce rage bubbled up inside of her, something so strong she had no idea how to handle it. Punching her pillow wasn’t enough, kicking her bed post wasn’t enough. She rummaged through her desk drawer. The blades of her safety scissors glimmered in the moonlight.

                Tears streamed down Rei’s face as she stared at the damage she had done. Grandma Teiko’s words rang in her ears. _I want you to promise me that no matter what happens, and no matter what anyone may say to you, I don’t want you to ever, ever do to yourself what Mr. Hatake did. No matter how beaten down and broken you feel, no matter how much you feel like nobody believes in you, I don’t want you to ever think that killing yourself is the answer. There is always another way out._

It wasn’t like she had tried to kill herself, though. She didn’t want to die. Or at least she didn’t think she did. As she looked at the blood on her sleeves and her pants, she began to reevaluate everything. Did she even want to still be alive? She threw the scissors across the room with a cry. No, she was not going to let herself fall down this rabbit hole. She had already broken her promise, and now she had to wear that shame on her body for everyone to see.

                The next morning, she woke up early to scrub the dried blood off her arms and wrap them in bandages so that her parents wouldn’t suspect anything. The last thing they needed was to think their daughter was not only a failure but suicidal, as well.

                She scarcely said a word as she helped unpack boxes of fresh shipments at the bookstore. She ran her fingers along the edges, letting the pages flutter against her fingertips. Sometimes she would even flip them open to random pages, close her eyes and point somewhere on the page, and read the sentence that she found. Many of them were stupid—“And then he died”, “She hung the key back up on the door”, “And they lived happily ever after”—while very few were actually of some interest. Her favorite was “She licked it and it tasted like dango.” She couldn’t quite comprehend why. It just made no sense.

                As she worked, a flash of white through the window captured her attention and for a moment, she thought perhaps it was Kakashi. When she looked up, no one was there. A gentle hand rested upon her shoulder. “Let’s take a break. I think we should have a little talk.”

                Rei walked through Konoha alongside Grandma Teiko, watching the passerby and trying not to look suspicious. Not that anyone cared. She had no reputation here. The old woman hadn’t spoken since they left the bookstore.

                “Grandma Teiko?” Rei asked. “What is this all about?”

                “I want to know why you were suspended from the academy” the old woman replied. “And I mean why you were _really_ suspended, not why the instructors said you were.”

                A sigh broke past the little girl’s lips. “I really don’t want to talk about this, Grandma.”

                “Why not? I think I deserve to know the truth.” Rei shook her head. They walked in silence for a few moments more. It wasn’t until they passed Ichiraku that someone finally spoke again.

                “Grandma Teiko, I’m not sure f I want to be a ninja anymore” Rei murmured. The old woman looked at her with brow raised.

                “Is that so?” she asked. “What a shame. After fighting so hard to get here, too.”

                Another beat of silence.

                “I don’t think I’m cut out for this” Rei elaborated.

                “Why do you say that?”

                “Because I make a mess everywhere I go. I’m not strong enough, and nobody likes me” she explained.

                “Who said that?”

                “Everyone.”

                “Well, everyone is wrong.”

                “You’re just saying that because you have to.”

                “Do you think my blood relation obligates me to lie?”

                “Well…”

                “I’m going to be completely honest with you, Rei: you have a fiery temper, one of your ears is bigger than the other, and you are not a bad shinobi. Do you think I’m lying to you now?”

                “Is my one ear really bigger than the other?”

                “Yes, it is. Your right ear is slightly larger.”

                Rei ran to the nearest shop window to investigate, measuring each with her hands. Her right one was, in fact, a few millimeters longer. So Grandma Teiko wasn’t lying.  

                “Great, now that’s just another thing for everyone to pick on me about!” Rei shouted.

                “I doubt they care that much” Grandma Teiko replied.

                “You don’t hear the things they say to me every day.”

                “Like what?”

                “They call me Carrots because my hair is orange and my teeth are wonky. They say I’m tiny and weak and will never amount to anything” Rei explained.

                “Well did you show them that that is not, in fact, true?” Grandma Teiko explained. “Not everyone is going to believe in you, Rei. You can’t help that. It’s thew ay you react that proves your worth. If you let what they say about you get to you and knock you down, you’ll never become a great shinobi. Remember the conversation we had about Mr. Hatake? I need you to believe in yourself.”

                “That’s the other thing, though” Rei replied. “All the mean stuff they said about me, I could put up with. But then the one girl started saying some really awful things about Kakashi’s father and I just…I couldn’t take it!”

                “And what did you do about it?”

                “…I beat her up.” Rei’s cheeks burned bright red. She wasn’t proud of what she had done, but she had no other choice. After a few moments of silence, she shouted, “I didn’t mean it, though! Well, I mean, I was nagry but I didn’t mean to hurt her so much. And now I’m suspended and they may never let me go back and I ruin everything and I shouldn’t be allowed to be a shinobi anymore, Grandma.”

                “So that’s why you were suspended, then. You were defending someone who can no longer defend himself” the old woman surmised. Rei was too deep into her anxiety to even comprehend what she had said.

                “I didn’t mean to hurt her so much, though! They had to take her to the hospital. She was coughing up blood and everything. I don’t know if she’s going to be alright. What if I killed her? I can’t believe I’ve done something so bad to someone. I’m a terrible person and I deserve to—” she rambled, hands shaking at her sides. Before she could finish her sentence, however, Grandma Teiko cupped a hand over her daughter’s mouth.

                “Stop right there. I have a feeling I know exactly what you were going to say and I don’t want to hear it” she said. Her eyes darted down to the bandages lacing up her daughter’s arms. “Something tells me you broke a promise, and I am very disappointed in you, Rei.”

                Rei was able to return to school after the following weekend. She mustered her strength before entering the classroom, terrified of what the others would say about her. She searched for Sekkachi’s face, hoping to find her sitting in the front row with her feet propped up against the desk, chewing bubblegum with an evil glare on her face. She fully expected Sekkachi to seek revenge. She almost wanted her to. After all, she deserved it.

                “So that’s her, huh?” a gravely voice asked. A pair of dark eyes stared down at the training grounds from the academy’s teacher’s lounge. A dark braid fell down to her waist.

                “Yes” one of the instructors replied, standing beside her. “She was suspended for a full school week on account of beating another student, Sekkachi Fumeiyo, to a violent degree. She’s caused quite the uproar.”

                “Has she now?” the woman replied. “I would expect nothing less from Teiko’s granddaughter.” The instructor huffed in discomfort. “She’s quite the interesting character. It’s not every day we get a student as young as her.”

                “You’re very right, Chikara. Last student we had at this age was Kakashi Hatake, graduated to genin at age six, same age as she is now” he explained.

                “I want you to keep me updated on this girl” the woman, Chikara, replied. “She has something special. I’m very interested to see how she progresses.”

                After the incident, the cruel comments shifted from Rei to Sekkachi. The kids called her weak and said she was a failure for getting beat up by a tiny kid. As if getting knocked down by someone as puny and insignificant as Rei Natsuki meant you couldn’t hold your own and were a disgrace. It wasn’t until the third day that Sekkachi finally returned.

                She looked washed out and tired, still walking with a slight limp. In spite of that, she portrayed an air of confidence as if she didn’t want anyone to think she was affected in the slightest. Her first order of business? Approaching her attacker. She shot death stares at the kids who whispered about her as she struggled up the stairs, Rei watching her in horror the entire time. She hyperventilated with fists clenched beneath her desk, preparing for what atrocity was about to transpire.

                “I hope you’re happy with what you’ve done” Sekkachi growled, planning her palms squarely on the desk. The way she leaned her weight onto them made Rei wonder if it wasn’t so much an intimidation tactic as a desperation for balance. “Listen, Carrots, if you ever try to pull something like this again, I swear to you, your blood will be smeared against that wall.” And with that, she shoved herself off of the desk and limped away.

                A lump rose in Rei’s throat and she couldn’t breathe. Her palms were wet and tingling and her entire body began trembling. Black splotches dotted her vision. Her seat teetered against the edge of a big, black void. _Oh my god, she’s going to kill me._

                In that moment, it was clear that Rei had made a terrible mistake. She had made a horrible enemy of someone far bigger and no doubt stronger than her, someone who would obviously kill her without remorse if given the chance. She was in serious danger and there wasn’t a damn thing she could do about it. After all, she brought this all on herself.

                “Hey, you” a voice then called, snapping Rei from her panic. She locked her eyes on the blackboard, clenching her fists and breathing deeply. There was a vacant, existential gaze on her face. “Hello? Earth to Carrot Top?!” they called again. Finally, Rei turned slowly to look upon her new opponent. A bright-eyed blonde leaned close to her, resting her chin in her hands. A soft smile touched her lips.

                “W-what?” Rei croaked.

                “Don’t let her get to you” the girl said cheerfully.

                “Wait, what…?”

                “Don’t let her get to you!” she repeated. “Sekkachi is all talk. She may look and sound scary but her bark is definitely worse than her bite! And if she ever does give you problems again, I’m sure you can handle it. After all, they wouldn’t have let you into the academy at such a young age if you weren’t any good!”

                Rei stared at her dumbfounded. No one had ever put it like that before. Not even her own mother. “Y-you think so?”

                “Pfft, I know so!” the blonde laughed. “The people here can be _really_ mean but don’t let what they say get the best of you, alright? You shouldn’t feel like you’re any less worthy of being here. You’ve got something special, Carrots, so don’t give up just because they want you to!”

                Before Rei could even formulate a response, the young girl stood and bounded off back to her seat. With wide eyes, she stared back at her textbook trying to decipher whether that really just happened or if she just hallucinated the entire thing. Either way, all Rei knew for sure was that her words left in her a soft, happy warmth that she hadn’t felt since the day Kakashi convinced her to join the academy. She peered across the room to the girl chatting and laughing with a few other students and for a moment, things weren’t so bad anymore. For a moment, the torment of the past few weeks had faded away and Rei began to wonder if perhaps she had somehow finally made a friend.


	21. The Secondhand Sharingan

                It needed to be perfect. No matter what, it needed to be perfect. Rei pounded her fists against her desk and cried out, scrapping yet another piece of paper. “It’s hopeless” she whined, launching it into the waste basket at the other end of the room.

                “Someone sounds stressed” a voice called from the doorway. Rei peered up to find Grandma Teiko shuffling nearer, a soft smile on her face. “What’s got you feeling so down, huh?”

                “It’s nothing” Rei replied, turning her back to the old woman. Grandma Teiko raised her brows and leaned on her wooden cane. It took but a few moments before Rei groaned and turned back to her grandmother, spilling her guts. “Kakashi was promoted to jonin and I want to give him something special but I can’t for the life of me figure out what! But it needs to be perfect. I can’t have him thinking I don’t care about him by giving him something useless and cheap.”

                “I see…” Teiko replied. She thought a moment before urging Rei to follow her. She led the young girl to her chambers, someplace sacred and solitary. Access to Grandma Teiko’s room was like stepping foot in a temple. There were strange windchimes and other ancient artifacts hanging from the ceiling, and tapestries displaying long forgotten myths cluttered the walls. There were a handful of trunks piled into the corner, all locked up tight with keys that didn’t exist. “I think I have something you may find satisfactory in the gift department” Teiko said, shuffling toward a mid-size trunk and popping it open by some strange magic. She rummaged around inside of it, tossing things this way and that, before pulling out something balled up in her fist. “Try this on for size” she said, then held open her hand to reveal a tiny silver ring.

                “What is that?” Rei asked, scrunching up her nose.

                “It’s called a _kakute_. This one in particular is very special. See this symbol inscribed on it?” she replied, pointing to a kanji word printed on the front.

                “It says ‘love’” Rei read. “Grandma Teiko, where did you get this?”

                “Let’s just say I have acquired a lot of things over the years from various people of sentiment” she said coolly. “This one, however, is very special indeed. And I think it’s just the sort of thing Kakashi would appreciate.”

                Rei stewed over that word printed on the front. _Love_. A burning feeling rose in the back of her throat, and she suddenly felt feverish. She didn’t feel as if she had the right to use that word in front of him, and yet she remembered the days of their youth, back before everything went to shit, when he would call her by a name not unlike that word. She didn’t know what it meant then. She still didn’t know if she comprehended it now. Whatever it was, she doubted Kakashi even meant it. If he did, he wouldn’t have distanced himself so much over the past few years.

                “What good is this going to do, though?” Rei asked. “It’s just a stupid ring. That’s like the kind of thing grown-ups give each other.”

                “A little maturity never hurt anybody” Teiko scolded. “Besides, it’s more than just a ring. Perhaps you’d know that if you spent a little more time paying attention to the things in front of you.” Before Rei could roll her eyes and groan, Grandma Teiko slid the thick ring over her middle finger and displayed a set of sharp spikes on the underside right beside her palm. “Nobody said jewelry couldn’t be deadly” she chuckled. “Poison these bad boys up and the enemy won’t ever know what hit him.”

                Rei blinked a moment, now trying to reevaluate her opinion on the thing. Maybe this was an appropriate present, after all. She could stand to give Kakashi a weapon, especially one as discrete as this. She could see him appreciating it. And if he liked it enough, maybe he would let her back into his life, stop ignoring her, and things could go back to the way they were. Or at least as close as possible.

                 Truly, the only reason Rei even knew of Kakashi’s promotion was from hearsay. She caught wind of a few instructors talking about him in the halls, and then overheard that Rin girl discussing it with that Uchiha boy at the dango shop one afternoon.

                “Obito, this is super important! You need to figure out what you’re going to give Kakashi” she insisted.

                “Oh, yeah, as if you already have your present figured out” Obito groaned.

                “Actually, I do! I just have to pick up a few more things and then it should be good to go! I’m making him a medical kit in case he ever gets hurt” Rin explained.

                Rei cursed under her breath and shook her head. There was something about the way Rin talked about Kakashi that really irked her. _Pfft, a medical kit, how stupid_ , she thought to herself though deep down she knew it was a smart move. She had already suffered her fair share of injuries and she wasn’t even a genin yet.

                When Rei knocked on his front door later on, there was no answer. She slammed her forehead against the wall and groaned. _Why don’t you speak to me anymore?_ She couldn’t understand what she had done wrong. Ever since Sakumo’s death, he wanted nothing to do with her. She couldn’t decipher the link.

                As she laid in bed that night, she stared at the kakute ring on her dresser and tried to slow her heartbeat down. Time was moving way too slowly, and no matter how hard she tried she could not fall asleep. Her mind leapt back and forth between positive and negative outcomes. She just wanted to hear the damn answer already. She wanted to hand Kakashi the little box, watch him open his gift, and see the light fill his eyes for the first time in years. For him to wrap his arms around her and thank her and call her that endearing name from when they were younger. Her stomach groaned. She was desperate.

                Her alarm meant nothing. She had overslept anyway. Not surprising, seeing as she could scarcely fall asleep the night before, but still. Her head pounded as she raced down the street, the little gift box bouncing in her pouch. Perhaps fate was on her side. Perhaps she would be lucky. Perhaps she still had time after all. Her mind spun with possibilities, clouding her awareness until she whammed straight into a boy bounding into the intersection. They both fell backwards into the dirt.

                “Watch where you’re going, idiot!” Rei shouted. She did not have time for this. The boy pouted and brushed his clothes off, but as he stood up there was an inkling of familiarity in his eyes. He extended a hand to help her out.

                “Hey, don’t I know you?” he asked. Rei reluctantly accepted his offer, launching herself to her feet, and brushed the dirt off her own clothes. She recognized him soon enough. Obito Uchiha.

                “Don’t you have a squad waiting for you right now?” Rei asked. Obito’s face went pale. He rubbed the back of his neck in embarrassment.

                “I got a little held up” he replied with a sheepish grin. An old woman not far behind shuffled into her home with an arsenal of grocery bags.

                “You went out of your way to help her?” Rei asked. Obito nodded. _Wow, he’s a lot more public service than I expected_ , she thought.

                “Well, I am a chunin now so it’s my duty to help out everyone in the Hidden Leaf, even if it’s just carrying a lady’s groceries” Obito explained. Then, in a much sourer tone, “I mean, not that anyone cares.”

                “Oh?” Rei asked, cocking a brow.

                “Yeah, apparently nobody gives a damn that I made a chunin since Kakashi became a jonin. Rin had everyone meet up in the park a few days ago and I thought it was just going to be me and her so I bought her flowers, but it turns out she just wanted to figure out what everyone was gonna get Kakashi instead” Obito explained, eyes turning deadpan.

                There was one phrase in particular that really captured Rei’s attention, however. “You like that Rin girl, don’t you?” Rei asked.

                The Uchiha boy’s face went bright red. “Y-you don’t know!” he shouted.  

                “Just a question, jeez, calm down” Rei replied. “Is she your girlfriend or something?”

                “I wish” Obito sighed. “But the only person she seems to have eyes for is stupid Kakashi.”

                The minute the sentence dropped from his lips, Rei’s heart leapt into her throat and she clenched her fists at her sides. So it _was_ true, then. She had heard the rumors, she had seen the way Rin looked at him, but hadn’t heard anything official. Now that she did, she felt like she was going to be sick.

                “I guess that explains why Kakashi wants nothing to do with me anymore” Rei pouted. In retrospect, she knew this did not mean that Kakashi liked Rin back but Kakashi didn’t seem to care for Rei very much anymore and therefore why wouldn’t he prefer Rin? She seemed ideal anyway. Obito liked her well enough, and she seemed to be popular among her peers. Why wouldn’t he prefer her over Rei?

                For a moment, Obito stared at her suspcicously, confusedly, trying to put together the pieces, until it finally clicked in his head and a sly smile touched his lips. Poking her on the forearm, he then leaned in and asked her, “You like Kakashi, don’t you, Rei?”

                Now it was Rei’s turn to blush bright red. With a gasp, she whacked Obitio on the head and recoiled. “And what would it matter to you if I did, huh?” she shouted back. Her mind flickered back to the present in her pouch, of the symbol engraved on it. She almost didn’t want to give it to him now. It was too much. It sent a message she wasn’t even sure she identified with.

                “So wait a second, let me get this straight: I like Rin but Kakashi always gets in the way. You like Kakashi but Rin always gets in the way” Obito surmised.

                “You Uchiha are _super_ intelligent” Rei replied sarcastically.

                “Hang on a second” Obito said, swatting at the air. “I think I may just have an idea where we can both get exactly what we want.”

                “Oh?” Rei asked. “I’m listening…”

                As she watched Obito run off that morning, Rei suddenly felt a lightness in her that she hadn’t felt in years. Perhaps there was hope after all. She patted the pouch on her waistline to feel the little present she was carrying and for once she knew she had made the right decision. Now was not the right time. Her and Obito had concocted a brilliant plan and when that was fulfilled, then would be the perfect moment to give Kakashi his gift. But there was nothing she could do until they returned from their mission. Until then, Rei had no choice but to wait.

                The Battle of Kannabi Bridge proved to be one of the most pivotal battles of the Third Shinobi War. Talk of Team Minato’s success rang through the village, constant chatter of how this could turn the war in Konoha’s favor. And then there was the matter of Obito.

                “I’m sorry, you said what?” Rei asked during lunch. Naru, the blonde, nodded dolefully.

                “I heard he was crushed to death by a bunch of boulders!” she explained, sound effects included.

                “That’s ridiculous, where did you even hear that?” Rei asked.

                “Here and there, a few people have talked about it” Naru replied. “And also from Rin.” Rei’s face turned bright red. _Rin._

                Without even finishing her lunch, Rei stood up and dumped the rest of her bento in the trash. “Tell sensei I won’t be coming back this afternoon” she demanded.

                “But that’s the third time this month! He’s going to suspend you!” Naru called after her.

                “I don’t care! I have something far more important to do, okay?” Rei shouted back, rushing out of the schoolyard and down the street. Her heart was pounding. She had no idea where she was going to go or what she was going to do when she got there, she just knew more than anything that she needed to find Kakashi. The little box with the kakute ring inside bounced in her back pouch as she ran.

                The first place she looked was, obviously, Kakashi’s home, but no one answered. She ran down every avenue afterward, every side street, scanning every face. She heard whispers from passerby about the battle, the war, the Uchiha boy who died. It was nothing they hadn’t heard before. This was war, after all, and Konoha was short on manpower. Shinobi were bound to lose their lives. But this? This was too much. He was just a kid. A kid who she had made a pact with.

                By sundown, she had scoured the entire village to find nothing. She collapsed on a nearby bench gasping for breath, pressing the heels of her hands into her eye sockets with a desperate groan and wiping the sweat from underneath her bangs. There were only so many places Kakashi could have disappeared to, unless he had already been sent off on yet another mission. If that was the case, she was essentially screwed. She would’ve been better off giving up completely. Before she could go home, however, she desperately needed to catch her breath. She closed her eyes and tried to steady her breathing, draping her arms over her eyes to block out the glow of the sun.

                Her mind began to wander aimlessly, swaying to and fro like a dreamy drunkard tightroping a fence. She heard Obito’s voice in her head, mingled with her own, playing out conversations that would never happen. She envisioned him running down the street toward her house, knocking on her door with a mischievous grin. She would let him inside and they would sit by the river mapping out the details of their plan. He would ask Rin to meet up with him and Kakashi, but Kakashi would never show. Instead, he wouldn’t even get the notice and Rei would swoop in and capture him before he could ever find out. Rin would be disappointed, yes, but Obito would have her all to himself. And with Rin occupied, Rei would Kakashi all to herself. They would ensure their paths never cross and they would have a wonderful afternoon together, two separate pairs. And during that time, Rin would discover just how much she truly cared about and even belonged with Obito, and Kakashi would be reminded of what exactly he had abstained from all those years. He would look at her with light and happiness again like before Sakumo died, and they would fall back into the grass and identify the shapes in the sky. Everything would be exactly as it once was.

                “I hope you know how dangerous it is to sleep in public places” a voice then called from above. For a moment, Rei almost mistook it for Obito himself. She had to remind herself that she was no longer dreaming. Obito was dead.

                She blinked and propped herself up on one elbow, rubbing her eyes with the other. The sun had gone down and now a streetlight glared above her, brilliantly bright. “H-Hello?” she called out to the phantom voice. A rustling in the trees and then, dropping down before her, was Kakashi Hatake.

                “What? Did you get kicked out of your home or something?” he asked, arms crossed. There was something different about him, or perhaps it was just the lighting. The left half of his face was clouded in the natural darkness.

                “No, I was out looking for you! Where have you been, Kakashi?” she exploded. She hadn’t expected to be quite so angry as she was, but now she was whacking him hard on the shoulder and somehow fighting back tears.

                “I’ve been busy” he shrugged. “We should get you home.”

                “Kakashi, wait!” Rei protested, grabbing his wrist. He glared back at her, almost offended, and that’s when she noticed it. His headband was covering his left eye. Something wasn’t right.

                “Your parents are probably contacting the police trying to find you right now” he replied. “You need to go home.”

                “Not yet! I want answers first” Rei demanded. She tried to match the intensity in his stare but she lacked power. “W-what happened…to Obito?”

                The question clearly struck something within Kakashi. He pursed his lips beneath his mask and tried to keep his face neutral, though this was not a topic he wanted to talk about right now. “Obito is dead. He pushed me out of the line of fire and was crushed by some boulders” he explained, voice detached. This was nothing she didn’t already know but hearing it straight from Kakashi’s mouth left a particular impact on her.

                Rei shook her head. “I mean, _what happened_?” she asked. She wasn’t sure if her message would get across but she prayed Kakashi would understand. She just couldn’t wrap her brain around it.

                “Sometimes people die on missions. The life of a shinobi is dangerous. A lot of things are put on the line” Kakashi explained. He could see her line of vision wading toward his left eye, covered by his headband. He clenched his fist. “And sometimes we lose things out of our own control.” A hard lump rose in Rei’s throat and for a second, she felt like she was going to be sick. She envisioned Kakashi on a battlefield, blood dripping down his face, bright red. His eye nowhere to be found. And then, before she could protest, he tucked his thumb underneath his headband and ever so slowly tugged upwards. A nasty, jagged scar scraped down from his forehead to his cheekbone, still raw. His eye creaked open. All she could see was red. _Sharingan._

                Her parents said nothing to her when she retuned home that night, and she was incapable of saying anything to them. That night, she laid in bed for hours staring at her ceiling knowing full well that if she moved, she was going to be sick. Her hands were numb and tingling and nothing felt real. It was almost as if she was trapped in some sort of sickening genjutsu she couldn’t release. Kakashi had a sharingan. Obito was dead. Everything was falling apart and nothing would ever be the same again.

                As the days wore on, more and more news had circulated the village about Kakashi’s mission. They gave him strange looks as he perused the village, the ninja with the secondhand sharingan. It was the same as when Sakumo died all over again, questions and contemplations about how, exactly, such an eye was acquired. Even in the schoolyard, she’d hear whispers of it passed between kids who didn’t even know Kakashi’s name. She tried to swallow back her anger as best as she could, but it was one morning in particular when she reached her breaking point.

                Yuruganai Natsuki sat at the kitchen table staring dully ahead sipping his tea. Hana glanced to him every so often but it was clear he was thinking deeply and she knew better than to disturb him. “It just makes me sick” he finally said.

                “I know” Hana whispered. Rei pressed her back against the wall as she listened intently.

                “He just still wasn’t good enough, was he? A fucking prodigy and he’s still not good enough” Yuruganai growled, clenching his fist against the table. “Sick. It just makes me sick.”

                “How sure are you that he really did it, though?” Hana asked quietly. Her husband shot her a fiery glare.

                “What other story is there? It all adds up and you know my math is never wrong” he insisted. “The Uchiha are dirty bastards but they’re powerful. The only thing stronger than the sharingan is the byakugan but clearly he couldn’t get his hands so easily on one of those. The Hyuga would slice his head off if he tried anything. But the Uchiha? He had connections.”

                “That still doesn’t explain things very clearly, love” Hana replied. “I just can’t understand how a sweet boy like Kakashi would do something so vile.”

                “He’s a shinobi. You’d be surprised” Yuruganai replied. “I would know. Besides, you know what happened with Sakumo. If you ask me, that’s when everything got fucked up. Sakumo just couldn’t follow the damn rules, he was too kind to be a shinobi. He killed himself and traumatized his kid in the process. And now he’s hellbent on becoming everything his father’s not, even if it means killing a comrade for the sake of gaining more power. I wouldn’t put it past him. Kakashi is not stupid. He’s perhaps too smart for his own good. I don’t trust him. I don’t trust that kid one bit.”

                By now, all the blood had rushed to Rei’s face. How dare he say such things? He didn’t know a damn thing. But then again, Rei didn’t either and deep down she knew that. Kakashi wouldn’t explain anything to her. He likely thought it was none of her business, or perhaps they were wounds he preferred not to rip open. But Rei deserved to know. Her plans were now ruined because of this and she wanted answers. Instead of growing closer to Kakashi, it felt like he was shifting steadily further away. And now here was her father, tarnishing her best friend’s name with petty speculation. She couldn’t stand to listen to it. Balling her fists up, she burst into the kitchen and began pounding against her father’s back, screaming at him to shut up and that he didn’t know anything. Hana clasped her hand over her mouth and cried, begging her daughter to stop. Yuruganai rose with fire in his eyes, towering over her, and gripped her tiny little wrist hard. Her tear-stained cheek stung for the rest of the day.

                “I heard you had a difficult morning” a creaking voice called from the porch. Rei huffed and stared in great focus at the tree in front of her, hitting it with purpose and power. She said nothing. Grandma Teiko smirked and hobbled down onto the lawn, whacking her cane against the trunk so as to get her granddaughter’s attention. “I think it’s time we had a little talk.”

                As much as the young girl loved her grandmother, Rei was really not in the mood for a philosophical spiel this afternoon. However, Grandma Teiko would not take no for an answer. She motioned for Rei to follow her around to the lake at the back of the house.

                “Look at this water and tell me what you see” she asked.

                Rei cocked a brow and replied “Water?”

                “No, look closer” the old woman said with a roll of her eyes. Rei leaned in hesitantly toward the surface, catching her reflection warped and rushing. Before she could say anything, Grandma Teiko knelt down and splashed her granddaughter square the in the face.

                “What the heck was that for?!” Rei shouted.

                “I’m teaching you a valuable lesson” Teiko replied.

                “No, you’re getting me all wet and wasting my training time” Rei countered.

                The old woman shook her head. “You focus so much of your energy on training your body, you forget to train your mind” she said. “And now seems like a very appropriate time for a lesson in mental gymnastics.” Rei still didn’t understand where she was going with this. She pulled the bottom of her shirt up to wipe her face and sunk down into the soft grass of the riverbank. “When you see this water, what do you see inside of it?”

                “I don’t know, fish?” she replied.

                “Yes, more than anything we see fish. But what kinds of fish?” Teiko asked.

                “I see a lot of minnows.”

                “Yes, many of the fish here are minnows. But what else?”

                Rei shrugged. “I don’t know, do I look like a piscatologist to you?”

                “I’m surprised you know that word.”

                “I read a lot.”

                Grandma Teiko chuckled and shook her head. “Perhaps you don’t need to hear an old woman ramble on then. I’m sure you can just find this all in a book.” She rose to turn away, but Rei grabbed onto the hem of her kimono.

                “Wait a second” she said. “Keep talking.” The old woman raised a brow but pleasantly obliged. She knew reverse psychology was always the most successful tactic, especially on someone as stubborn as Rei. Over the course of that afternoon, she quizzed her granddaughter on the different types of fish and what made them unique, and the way they interacted with other wildlife like birds and turtles. All of it seemed incredibly pointless, as did many of Grandma Teiko’s speeches initially, but after a while Rei began to understand what she was getting at. Each species was representative of a clan in the village, and each clan had their own special abilities and purpose. When one species wants what the other has, however, that’s when the natural order of things falls to the wayside. “We must stay aligned with what we were created for” she had said. Rei thought back to Kakashi and his new sharingan, to what her father had said that morning. Would he really have lied to her about the manner in which it was obtained? Would he really go so far as to kill his teammate to gain the power of the Uchiha? She hated the fact that she would never know the truth. The only ones who really knew what happened were the people who were there firsthand, but one of them was dead and the other surely wouldn’t sit there and spell it out for her. She didn’t dare question Minato Namikaze on the subject. She didn’t even really know him, save for passing glances in the village and in the rare event that he stepped foot in the academy. There was only one other person who she could turn to for answers, though she knew deep down she would’ve rather not.  

                “Hey! You’re that girl who lives next door to Kakashi, right?” a bright and cheery voice greeted. Rei chewed her bottom lip with arms crossed and nodded. Rin Nohara grinned and patted the seat beside her in the dango shop. “What was your name again? I’m afraid I didn’t catch it the last time we met!”

                “Rei” the redhead said bluntly.

                “That’s so pretty!” Rin replied. “Like a ray of sunshine!”

                _Or a deadly stingray_ , Rei thought. “Listen, I don’t have a lot of time right now” Rei began, lying, “but I needed to ask you something.” Rin scooted closer, proving she was all ears. _Why does she have to be so damn nice? Just makes it that much harder to hate her_ , Rei thought. No wonder Obito had a thing for her. And (she was sure) Kakashi, too. Sucking in a deep breath, she then asked, “What exactly happened at Kannabi Bridge?”

                “Oh…” Rin replied, voice laced with uncertainty. “Well, I’m afraid I can’t tell you everything. You see, I was captured and put under a genjutsu, so anything that happened between then and when Kakashi and Obito rescued me, I wouldn’t know anything about.”

                Rei waved her off. “I don’t care about that” she replied. “Just tell me about…you know, the _incident_.”

                “Incident…?” Rin asked.

                “Yeah, you know. The one the whole village is talking about.”

                “Y-You mean…about Obito…?” she asked slowly. Rei nodded. Rin was clearly uncomfortable with the subject. After all, she didn’t particularly want to revisit the death of her best friend. But Rei pressed onward, desperate for answers. “Well, he was crushed by a boulder. He pushed Kakashi out of the way and…and then he asked me to implant his sharingan into Kakashi. I guess something happened while I was captured, and Kakashi’s left eye was severely damaged. Obito had forgotten to give Kakashi a present for becoming a jonin, so right before he died he decided his sharingan would be his gift.”

                _So he didn’t steal it after all_ , Rei thought. She knew Kakashi had to be more respectable than that. The mention of presents and his jonin promotion reminded her of the kakute in her pouch. She pressed her hand against it, unsure if she still wanted to gift it to him or not. She wasn’t quite so sure he would appreciate it now. Besides, it wouldn’t be of any use to him anymore. He now had something far more powerful at his disposal.

                “You know the things people are saying around the village, right?” Rei asked. Rin eyed her suspiciously, unsure if she knew what she was talking about. Rei continued. “I guess everyone thinks Kakashi killed Obito himself and stole the sharingan. Like he wanted the power or something.”

                “That’s terrible!” Rin exclaimed. “Kakashi would never--!”

                “I know” Rei replied. “It makes me so sick. Makes me want to punch someone until they’re black and blue, or gauge their eyes out and see how they like it.”

                “That’s…dark” Rin said quietly. “You really care about Kakashi, don’t you?”

                “What?” Rei asked, rolling her eyes. “He’s alright, I guess.” No matter how hard she tried, she was incapable of keeping herself from blushing.

                Rin sighed and rested her chin in her hands. “I think he’s the most talented shinobi to ever exist. He’s so cool and he’s great at everything he does. I can’t believe I was lucky enough to be on his team.”

                _Oh, shut up_ , Rei thought to herself. She huffed and stood, briefly thanking Rin for her help but saying she needed to get home. Rin grinned at her and waved, saying she’d see her around and calling her by name as if speaking it would help her remember. Rei’s cheeks burned the entire jog home.

                She spoke to no one as she slipped inside and retreated to her bedroom, collapsing onto the bed. She had finally gotten the answers she so desperately sought after, and yet it didn’t make her feel any better. Speaking with Rin made her feel like she needed a shower. Even worse, she knew that just because she knew the truth behind Kakashi’s sharingan didn’t mean the rest of the village did. They would continue to say vile things about him. Trying to set them straight was pointless. Why would they ever believe some tiny, buck-toothed kid, anyway? Rei had no power here whatsoever. She rolled onto her stomach and reached for the kakute in her pouch. She turned it over in her hands, running her finger along the engraving. _Love_. She envisoned the way Kakashi would react upon receiving it, had she the guts to give it to him. She was afraid she wasn’t quite so brave any longer. Every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was red. That eye haunted her, that secondhand sharingan. Kakashi was a completely different person now, the kind who would not be grateful for a stupid gift from a weak child he used to babysit. She shoved the kakute into her desk and slammed the drawer shut, then curled up in bed and silently began to cry. A piece of her inside felt as if it was dying. The Kakashi she once knew no longer existed, and he never would ever again.


	22. Relationship Tactics

                Kakashi had been, for lack of a better term, _distracted_. He hadn’t been getting much sleep, he had been working his ass off, and every night he was haunted by strange dreams of an old friend.

                _I’m doing the right thing_ , he thought to himself. _Things are better this way_. Still, he couldn’t seem to quench his desire to see her. When he would wander into Kaminoki, he would interact with her only as much as necessary, but sometimes while on duty he would peer around corners just to see her, if only for a few moments. This was one such day, catching a glimpse of her walking through Konoha. He dove into an alley and his heart sank as he watched her disappear.

                “Hey there, Kakashi!” a voice then called, stirring him from his stalking. Jiraiya stood before, grand and grinning, hands on his hips. Kakashi’s face turned bright red.

                “Master Jiraiya!” he exclaimed. “I didn’t expect to see you in town.”

                “Well, I’m only back for the launch of my new book!” the sannin explained. “I’ve been traveling far and wide conducting some interesting research for it and if I do say so myself, I think it’s going to be quite the hit!”

                “Oh? What is it about?” Kakashi asked.

                “It’s a daring adult novel about two people and lure of romance! The main character and heroine, both new to love, begin dating, and their eyes gradually open to grown-up love!” Jiraiya explained.

                Kakashi’s heart leapt into his throat. He hoped Jiraiya hadn’t caught him spying, or else the sannin might be trying to advertise to a particular demographic. “Sounds…interesting…” he said slowly.

                Jiraiya patted the young ninja on the back. “I’m glad you think so!” he exclaimed. “Say, how about you come down to the Pink Bookstore tomorrow and I can get you a signed copy. Wait—you’re over eighteen, right?” Kakashi nodded. He had only just turned eighteen that past fall. The inquiry made him slightly nervous as to what he was in for. Before he had a chance to deny the offer, however, Jiraiya had run off after a gaggle of girls in short skirts. _Typical_.

                Kakashi had only heard of the Pink Bookstore in passing, mainly grumbled under Yuruganai’s breath. A new bookstore meant competition for Kaminoki, something the Natsuki clan was surely not appreciative of. A part of him felt like a traitor for stepping foot in a different bookstore, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Jiraiya didn’t give him a chance to say no and besides, considering the reception of his last book, the sannin was going to need all the support he could get.

                It took Kakashi three times longer to find his way to the bookstore. The crowd outside of Pink was so massive, Kakashi barely recognized the tiny shop. _I guess Jiraiya’s new book is a hit after all_ , he thought to himself. With this many people, he wasn’t sure he wanted to go through with this. There was enough fanfare for Jiraiya to not even notice Kakashi’s absence, right? But then again, if he did…well, he didn’t want to think of the disappointment he’d cause. Accepting his fate, Kakashi sucked in a deep breath and weaved his way though the crowd.

                Despite being labelled a bookstore, Pink sold more than just reading material. Kakashi’s eyes immediately landed on a display of sex toys along the back wall and his face turned bright red. All around him were everyday citizens of Konoha, the least suspecting people, considering which dildo was the best for their needs and ogling at half naked women in dirty magazines.

“There you are, Kakashi!” Jiraiya announced, seated at a folding table at the other end of the store. A hoard of people crowded around him, hugging his novel to their chest as they awaited an autograph. Kakashi rushed over, grateful for the distraction, and was handed a copy of _Makeout Paradise._ He studied the image on the orange cover, a lovestruck man chasing after a chesty woman. He hated to admit that it did, in fact, look enticing. Kakashi thanked the sannin quickly and then ducked out of the store with book in tow.

                _Now to see what all the fuss is about_ , he thought to himself. He propped open the book as he walked, his eyes first landing on the author’s note on the front page.

                                _This book was written thanks to years of research, and especially a variety of willing participants! Here’s to hoping this novel can serve as a guidebook to anyone facing their own relationship troubles because I’ve been there and I know better than anyone that women are fickle creatures! At the end of the day, though, there is just nothing more important than making out!_

Kakashi couldn’t say he was particularly surprised. The note that captured his attention the most, however, was “a guidebook for anyone facing their own relationship troubles.” Honestly, he didn’t particularly want to take relationship advice from Jiraiya of all people but considering his current predicament, this only intrigued him even more. As he began heading back to his apartmet, he flipped to the next page and began reading the first few lines. _It was known far and wide that Koibito Island was the perfect spot for fiding love, and many young, eligible men flocked there to find gorgeous women to…_

Before he could even finish the first page, a passerby smacked right into his chest with a squeal. He blinked a moment, looking down, not immediately comprehending the situation. Staring back at him was perhaps the worst possible candidate for a random encounter.

                “Kakashi?” Rei exclaimed. The copy ninja’s face reddened. “You have got to be kidding me” she added, snatching the book right from his hands. She began flipping through it frantically but Kakashi snatched it right back from her before she could get a good look. The last thing he needed was for her to stick her nose in his business. Especially when that business, in a way, secretly involved her.

                “What do you think you’re doing?” he asked, wagging a finger in her face. “You’re not eighteen.” He pointed to the large, red prohibition symbol on the back cover. Rei rolled her eyes and glared at him and for a moment, it was as if everything was as it once was between them.

                “What? Am I not allowed to inspect the book that’s going to put my family out of business?” she fired back. “How can you even read that crap?”

                Kakashi tilted his head curiously. “What do you mean?”

                “It’s just glorified porn—there’s no depth!” she explained.

                Kakashi knew just from the first few lines he had read so far, that his argument didn’t have much of a chance but he was willing to fight for it anyways. “It has depth” he argued.

                Rei’s face went deadpan. “I mean meaningful depth, not how far someone can jam their dick up someone’s asshole.”

                “Rei!” a young blonde shrieked from behind, her face turning bright red. Kakashi thought he recognized her as a girl named Naru, someone closer to Rei’s age. He didn’t know her very well.

                “I just have one question for you” Rei began through gritted teeth, rubbing her temples. “Where did you get that?”

                Kakashi paused a moment. He could see the temperature gauge of Rei’s tolerance nearing explosing proportions. There was something sinfully adorable about he when she was frustrated like this. Any sane person would know to be careful, but Kakashi wasn’t exactly one to pander. He had a pretty decent idea of just how far he could push her. A shit-eating grin spread across his masked face as he pointed toward the rousing crowd and replied, “The Pink Bookstore.”

                _Boom._ In one swift motion, Rei stole the book from Kakashi’s hands and did everything in her power to try and destroy it. A moment of panic surged through Kakashi’s body at the thought of her tearing apart what would perhaps be his best bet at winning her over but fortunately, Rei lacked physical strength. Everything she tried failed. Kakashi was safe. She eventually resorted to throwing it down on the ground with a shriek and stomping off back home. Kakashi couldn’t help but chuckle.

                The blonde, Naru, watched her storm away with a disappointed gaze which then trailed off to the book on the ground, and then slowly to Kakashi. “You really shouldn’t piss her off like that, you know” she stated, crossing her arms.

                Kakashi leaned down to pick up the novel and laughed. “I think she’ll be alright” he replied.

                “Do you?” Naru asked. There was a sharpness in her tone that quite frankly caught Kakashi off guard. “Because I don’t think you really know what you’re talking about here.”

                The copy ninja blinked, taken aback. “What do you mean?”

                “Well, last I checked you didn’t really seem to care much about Rei in the first place, so why should I trust your judgment on her wellbeing?” she asked. The way she tilted her chin up as she spoke, as if to project an air of authority, gave Kakashi an interesting insight into her character. She was dominating, subtle, clever. She would be hard to tiptoe around, like skipping through a minefield. One false step and you’re done—she was fully prepared to destroy him in the most underhanded and elegant of ways.

                “Th-that is far from the truth” Kakashi replied. His heart was pounding.

                “Then why don’t you try acting like it sometime?” Naru spat. “If she’ll even have you, that is.” She then turned on her heel to walk away but something about that last statement struck a nerve. Kakashi reached out and lightly gripepd her forearm, beckoning her back.

                “Wait, what do you mean ‘if she’ll even have me’?” he asked. Deep down, he already had a vague idea but he wanted to hear it straightforward. He needed to.

                Naru rolled her eyes but did not protest. “I mean that I don’t see any reason for her to welcome you back into her life as anything more than an occasional customer after you’ve done nothing but ignoe her for ten years” she explained. “Sooner or later, she’s bound to stop waiting around for you to care again. She’s not the weak little kid you once knew, Kakashi.”

                An invisible kunai pierced him through the chest as he watched Naru turn and walk away for good this time. He hated that she was right. After all these years, Rei had no reason to accept him. Clearly she was no longer the child he once knew. He wasn’t even sure if he knew anything about this version of her. How much had she changed? He propped open his book again and tried to lose himself in the text.

                That night, he stayed up until nearly dawn devouring _Makeout Paradise._ It was far better than he had ever expected—no wonder the turnout had been so great. It was the perfect blend of sweeping romance, burning tragedy, destructive secrets, and steamy sex. He couldn’t stand to put it down. His only problem was that the entire time, he could not stop thinking of Rei. He would go back and reread passages he thought perhaps had hidden messages in them about relationships and the complexity of women but he came up empty every time. It was really no use. As a guidebook, _Makeout Paradise_ was a dud. He fell back onto his bed and sighed, locking his eyes on the ceiling. He spent the last few hours before his alarm sounded considering whether this was really a good idea or not. Maybe Naru was right. Maybe he had lost his chance. Rei had undoubtedly moved on. He thought back to the last time he stepped foot in Kaminoki, nearly two weeks ago. How distant and cold she was. Like a stranger. He scoffed at how much of an idiot he was. He remembered the promise he had made the very first day they had met, that he would be her ninja and protect her. So much for that. Why was it that every promise he ever made, he seemed to break? It had been five years since Rin’s death. He couldn’t stand to let the same happen to Rei. As he drifted off to sleep that night, he was enveloped in a darkness of spirit that so frequently touched him these days. By morning, his choice was clear. He knew exactly which road he needed to take.

                The life of a shinobi is dangerous and cruel. Every day, you put your life on the line and risk it all. Some say that a shinobi is so encompassed in his work that he cannot possibly manage a social life. Such an outlook is bleak but perhaps far too true for many. Kakashi reread the last few sentences of Makeout Paradise as he walked through the village, as if they were some mantra to repeat over and over in his head. _Sometimes there are people that walk into your life just to serve a lesson—like to always wear a condom unless you’re certain your pullout game is strong. These temporary fixtures are no less important than the permanent ones. They provide the experience with which you refine your skills and channel the energy into your steady target. And sometimes things just aren’t meant to be. The math doesn’t add up. The cogs don’t function. And sometimes that is okay, too. At the end of the day, whatever’s meant to be will always find its way back in the end anyways. No matter how many twists and turns, that red string of fate will always lead you back to where you’re meant to be. You just have to have a little faith._

Kakashi wasn’t too certain about red strings and fate, or if it even applied to him, but he knew one thing was for certain: whatever permanent fixtures he had left, he needed to protect with everything he had. And the only way to keep something safe from harm was to stay as far away from it as humanly possible. He tucked his book into his pouch and paused outside Kaminoki, clenching his fists at his sides. He prayed to whatever god was above that she would be working today. With a deep inhale, he peered inside to find her guiding a stout man in glasses toward a wall of instructional texts. He tried to absorb every detail of her: the way her auburn hair puffed out of her ponytail, the fringe that covered her right eye, the scar across the bridge of her nose and the crooked teeth she showed when she smiled. He needed to take in every little thing about her so as not to forget it. As she turned toward the window, he disappeared in a flash and something inside his chest felt as if it was shattering. He had made his choice. He refused to turn back. From this point onward, he vowed to never see Rei again.


	23. Midori no Hi

A soft breeze blew through Rei’s apartment, fluttering the pages of the calendar hanging from her wall. Circled in red ink was the date May 4th, Greenery Day. In scribbled pen, she had added the note “Mother’s Birthday.”

                “Rei, just calm down. There’s no reason to get so panicked about this” Kakashi said coolly, leaning against her desk with his arms crossed. His girlfriend flitted around the room like a maniac gripping her hair, trying to get a handle on her chaotic thoughts.

                Hana’s birthday was never a huge spectacle. She always preferred something quiet and quaint, just an afternoon with her family and maybe a simple cake. Normally it would be nothing to get worked up over, but this year was different. This year, Rei needed to make sure everything was perfect. This year, the future of her familial relations hinged completely on this.

                Eight months had passed since she joined the black ops. In that time, she had been home perhaps only once. She would see her family in passing from time to time, and they would say hello and make small talk but it was always guarded. Just a courtesy. Deep down, they shared a mutual understanding that Rei was not a part of them anymore. The pursuit of her dreams was synonymous with betrayal.

                Frankly, she wasn’t even sure if they would allow her back into the home. They could stare at her blankly, slam the door in her face, the final validation of her excommunication. That was why this was so important. That was why she needed to find the perfect gift. Perhaps if she presented something valuable and supreme, she would be forgiven for her crimes—the crime of forging her own path.

                And then of course there was the matter of Kakashi. After so many years of suffering, cursing, and crying, it had finally come to pass: Rei and Kakashi were officially together. While it felt wonderful, Rei feared that others might not rejoice in the same manner. All Hana ever wanted for her daughter was to marry rich and become a housewife like herself. It was safe and unsuspecting. If she arrived at her parents’ doorstep with a prospective husband, they would surely welcome her with open arms. It would seem as if she had finally given up on her shinobi dreams and was accepting the destiny they had planned for her. A fine young man to steal her away from these dangerous delights. Rei glanced to the Copy Ninja at the other end of the room and knew that he was not that man.

                Her mind reeled through the past few years, their childhoods until now, their separation and reunion. The day she joined the black ops, and that date with Kakashi, and that kiss on the roof. So much had happened, but all her family would see was the boy with the secondhand sharingan. The prodigy. The traitor. The friend killer. _Fuck._

                “Rei” his voice called. He stepped nearer and rested his hands on her shoulders, bringing her back to center. She looked up at him blankly. “Don’t worry so much. I’m sure everything will be fine. And, if you’d like, I’ll help you pick out something for your mother.” Truthfully, Kakashi knew deep down that he wasn’t all too great at this sort of thing, and he hadn’t seen Hana in years, but he hoped that perhaps just being there for her would help make Rei’s mission a little less daunting.

                It would be a lie to say that Rei was not grateful for his company. She was more than willing to take advantage of any chance they could get to spend time together. What she had not accounted for, however, was that she had already made shopping plans. And yet she couldn’t stand to tell Kakashi no.

                “I was wondering how long you were going to take!” Naru greeted from the lobby. “I was this close to coming up and checking on you.”

                “No, no, everything is fine” Rei laughed nervously. Naru cocked a brow. Something was up and she was determined to get to the bottom of it.

                “What took you so long, anyways?” she asked.

                “Well, you see…” Rei started. “I’m afraid there have been some slight changes to our plans today.”

                “Oh?” Naru asked. Rei nodded vigorously.

                “You see, turns out it’s not going to be just you and me” the redhead explained. She peered around the corner, up the stairs, and then motioned for someone to step nearer. Kakashi emerged from the stairwell and waved at the blonde amicably. “Kakashi offered to come along with us! I hope that’s alright?”

                “I wouldn’t want to impose” the Copy Ninja replied. “If you don’t mind, maybe I’ll just leave this to the two of you then.”

                “No!” Naru shouted, perhaps a little too loud, then giggled it off casually. “I mean, don’t feel like you can’t spend time with your girlfriend because of little old me! We can always reschedule, right, Rei?”

                “I wouldn’t want to put you through the trouble” Kakashi replied. “After all, you and Rei did have plans already.”  

                Rei’s head was beginning to spin. After a few more moments of discussion, she ran her hands through her hair and shouted, “That’s enough!” The two silenced and turned their attention to her. “I just don’t see why we can’t all go together. The three of us. It doesn’t have to be like a date. Just three friends hanging out together helping one very tired and very stressed kunoichi find a birthday present, alright?”

                Noticing her distress, Kakashi placed a gentle hand on the small of her back and smiled that sweet little smile through his mask. “Rei’s right. The three of us should be able to manage just fine.”

                A Cheshire cat grin spread across Naru’s face as she wrapped her arms around the couple from between them. “Our own three-man squad! Mission Mama birthday present!” she exclaimed. Rei’s face went pale. She glanced to Kakashi, who simply smiled at her in reassurance.

                Hana was not typically a hard person to buy for. She liked a very specific set of things that included flowers, books, and tiny tea candles. However, Rei knew that this year, none of those were good enough. Flowers were cliché, books were boring, and tiny tea candles were not grand enough. She needed something ornate and expensive and beautiful. If only she could figure out what, exactly, fit the bill. She dragged Naru and Kakashi to every shop in the western quadrant of town, shutting down every suggestion they presented for increasingly ridiculous reasons.

                By sunset, she had collapsed on a bench digging the heels of her hands into her eye sockets. “This is pointless!” she groaned. Naru gazed down at her with crossed arms, a rather exasperated expression on her face. Kakashi looked upon her with nothing but concern.

                “It would’ve been a lot easier if you weren’t so anal about this” Naru replied. “Listen, I’m sure your mom will love whatever you get her, alright?”

                “But it’s not that simple!” Rei argued. “If I don’t get her something perfect, then I’ll be seen as even more of a fuck-up than they already think I am. And then I’ll be shoved even further out of my family, and I’ll be absolutely nothing, and—”

                “Rei, calm down” Kakashi interrupted, voice stern but not at all cruel. He knelt down beside her so that their faces were mere inches from one another. “You’re overthinking things. Everything is going to be fine.”

                “But how can you be so sure?” Rei asked.

                “I’m not” Kakashi replied honestly. “For all I know, the worst-case scenario could very well happen and there could be nothing we can do to stop it.”

                Rei’s face went deadpan. “Kakashi, this is not helping.”

                Naru leapt up onto the concrete wall spanning the walkway, swinging her legs back and forth. “Maybe instead of focusing so much on the worst-case scenario, you need to start focusing more on the best-case scenario” she offered.

                “They would accept me back into their lives with open arms and forgive me for all the shit I’ve put them through since birth? Sounds unrealistic but okay” the redhead answered.

                “And what’s the one thing out of everything that they would want for you?” Naru asked. “If we can answer that, we can figure out what the perfect present will be.”             

                “The only thing that would make them happy is if I show up denouncing the shinobi way and accepting them as the only pilots of my life so they can pass me off to some rich husband and become a boring housewife” Rei explained. “So, unrealistic.”

                “Well, it doesn’t have to be” Naru explained. Rei cocked a brow. She wasn’t sure where her friend was going with this but she didn’t think she wanted to know.

                “I’m not quitting my job just to make them happy, that is completely out of the question” Rei explained.

                “I agree” Kakashi nodded. “That’s taking things way too far.”

                “I’m not saying you should quit your job” Naru explained. “I’m saying what you should do is to humor them. Just for the afternoon.”

                “What do you mean by that?” Rei asked.

                Naru hopped down from her perch and began pacing back and forth. The sight of it only worsened Rei’s anxiety, but she didn’t have the guts to tell her to stop. “Well, your parents always press you about marriage and babies and want you to lead a mundane lifestyle, so let them think that that’s a possibility. Let your mother ramble about eligible men and grandchildren. Make her believe that you’ve reconsidered and then, when they think there’s the tiniest sliver of a chance that you could change your mind, they’ll accept you back into their lives.”

                “I don’t know about this…” Rei explained. “I don’t know if I have the heart to lie like that.”

                By now Kakashi had rested a territorial hand upon Rei’s shoulder and was gazing back at Naru sternly. “And what does that mean for us?”

                “Listen, Kakashi” Naru started, “Heaven only knows how happy I am that you two are finally together, but that doesn’t mean Rei’s parents will feel the same way. They need to believe that you have nothing to do with this, alright?”

                It broke Rei’s heart to hear Naru say such things, but she knew the blonde was right. Kakashi looked down at his girlfriend, a sense of hurt crossing his masked face, as he searched for validation in her eyes. Rei could barely look at him. “Naru’s right” she said. Kakashi’s face fell.

                That night, standing outside their apartments, Kakashi wrapped his arms around his girlfriend and sighed. “I’m really not sure how I feel about this” Kakashi whispered. “I just don’t understand why you feel the need to lie about us like this.”

                Rei winced. “Kakashi” she whispered, voice hoarse. “We’re not little kids anymore. You don’t know my parents like I do. There are a lot of things that have happened in the past few years that would put you in a really bad position if I were to be honest with them about this. I’m doing this to protect you, alright?” She knew Kakashi deserved an explanation, but she really didn’t want to dive into details right now. It was late and she was terrified of breaking his heart should she be honest about the way her parents felt about him. It had been over ten years and her father still clung to those biased beliefs about Kakashi’s sharingan. _I don’t trust him. I don’t trust that kid one bit_. Her heart hurt even now thinking about it herself. She bid Kakashi a sad smile and a goodnight, trying to reassure him, but it was no use. They departed for bed that night both feeling guilty and uneasy.

                Would it always be this way? Rei hoped not. She didn’t want to look too far into the future for fear of jinxing herself, but what if things were to go smoothly from this point onward? Would her family hold such biases? She hated to think of the influence that would have on things, forcing her to choose between her past and her future. But now was not the time to worry about such things. If she thought too deeply on this, she would fuck everything up, guaranteed. She buried her head under her pillow and sighed, praying to fall asleep quickly so she would no longer have to listen to the taunting thoughts in her head.

                “You ready?” Naru asked, peeking her head into Rei’s apartment. She stared at herself in the mirror, dabbing lipstick onto her lips with her finger, and sighed.

                “Ready to die? Absolutely” she replied.

                “Oh, quit being so morbid” Naru said, swatting at the air. “It’s just one afternoon. You can handle this. And besides, I’ll be there!”

                She had to admit, she was incredibly grateful Naru agreed to accompany her. Her parents always did have a soft spot for the girl. Perhaps they loved her because she was everything Rei was not, and they felt as if there was some sort of mistake and in a perfect world the roles would be reversed. Naru was bright and bubbly and pure. She could win over any man she wished with nothing but a smile and her infectious laughter. Having her by her side would provide Rei with some sort of cushion in the face of this terror, and Naru would undoubtedly come to her friend’s aid should things go south.

                The hallway up to her family’s apartment seemed to grow narrower with each step and the incline felt steeper than usual. Her breath hitched in her throat, as if she was attempting to climb a mountain rather than a simple staircase. She tightened her grip on the gift bag in her left hand, sucked in a deep breath, and then knocked on the door.

                “Took you long enough” her father greeted stalely. He ushered them inside, face deadpan and undelighted.

                 “I hope I didn’t miss anything” Rei replied, trying to sound as positive as possible. He stared at her blankly a moment before his gaze shifted to her guest.

                “Pleasure to see you again, Naru” he said with a minute nod. The blonde grinned at him and nodded back, then bounded past the pair. His eyes fell back onto his daughter then, who pasted a smile on her face and tried to keep her cool. He could see right through her façade, however, already suspicious that there was something amiss. Before he could pounce on it, however, Hana’s voice echoed from the other room.

                “Rei, sweetheart, is that you?” she shouted, then she appeared in the doorway with a tearful grin on her face.

                “Happy birthday, Mom” Rei greeted, feeling herself get a little choked up, as well. Hana rushed to wrap her arms around her daughter tightly, burying her face in the crook of her neck.

                “I’m so glad you’re home!” she cried. “This is the best birthday present I could’ve asked for!”

                “I guess I didn’t need to bring this then, did I?” Rei asked, pulling back and motioning toward the gift bag in her hand. Hana smiled and took the package from her, placing it on the table with the others, then grasped Rei’s hands in hers and guided her to the living room where the rest of the guests were.

                Rei recognized many of them as friends and neighbors, including Hana’s cousin Inoichi, along with his wife and their young daughter. Of all the people in the room at that moment, however, Rei didn’t care about any of them nearly as much as Grandma Teiko. She hobbled forward, leaning against her gnarled wooden cane for support, and slapped Rei hard on the back.

                “Glad to see you back, girl!” she grinned. She wrapped her arms around her granddaughter to pull her into a hug, and Rei immediately felt tears surface. Nothing filled her with more nostalgia than the cherry blossom perfume her grandmother wore, sending her back to rainy afternoons helping her restock the shelves in the bookstore. Before Grandma Teiko pulled away completely, however, she met Rei’s eyes with a knowing gaze as if to silently say that she was on her side, and that whatever turmoil may come of this afternoon, she would support her. Rei struggled to hold back her tears.

                “It’s so wonderful to see you again, Rei. My, how you’ve grown!” one of Hana’s friends, a woman by the name of Momoiribara, said. The woman reached out to grasp the redhead’s hands and guide her into the seat beside her.

                “We haven’t seen you in so long!” another, Suisen, enthused. “So, tell us all about that ninja business you’re a part of.”

                _Here we go,_ Rei thought to herself. From this point forward, she needed to tread lightly so as not to cause a commotion. She sucked in a deep breath and explained as much as she was able to, but as part of the ANBU she was sworn to secrecy and therefore many of the questions they asked, she was not at the liberty to answer.

                “I’ll never understand the point of all this ninja stuff” Momoiribara stated, taking a sip of her tea. “It just all seems so…counterintuitive, you know?”

                “I agree” Suisen nodded. “Why can’t we all just keep to our own villages rather than have people running around doing jobs for everyone else?”

                “Politics” Grandma Teiko chimed in. The two women looked to her quizzically. “Without international relations, the entire system of government as we know it would crumble.”

                Suisen, clearly unamused with being shown up, huffed and shook her head. “Well, if we _have_ to have people doing such terrible jobs, then I think it should be the men’s responsibility. There is absolutely no reason a woman should have to put herself in danger for _politics_.”

                Momoiribara nodded. “And besides, it’s just not sustainable!” she exclaimed. “One terrible injury and then you’re down for the count, and then what? You’re without a proper form of income. It’s just far too risky, if you ask me.”

                “Hana, dear, I don’t know how you ever let Rei get away with this!” Suisen said, resting a hand atop Hana’s.

                “It really wasn’t my choice, you know” Hana replied. “I think she would have a much more secure future if she would simply marry and raise a few children like we all did.”

                “You know, it’s never too late, dear” Momoiribara said, patting Rei’s knee condescendingly. “You’re still so young! You can always back out and choose another path!”

                “There are so many eligible men in the village right now, too!” Suisen said. “You know, my nephew Nibui just recently became single. He’d be such a good match for you, Rei! He’s a smart, hard-working man. Absolutely brilliant in finances! You would never go broke with him around!”

                “Oh, Nibui would be a terrible match for her” Momoiribara replied, making a sour face. “Rei needs a man more like my son Tadashi! A real family man, strong and supportive. He would make the ideal husband, and he’s great with children!”

                Rei’s head began to spin as the two women continued debating the best possible bachelors for her. They tossed about names left and right, some of which she recognized. The thought of ever being with any of them made her want to vomit. And all the while, perhaps the worst part of it all was the way they spoke as if she wasn’t even there. She wanted to burst out in anger but thought better of herself. Instead, she bit her tongue until blood surfaced.

                “Well, it would be nice to have her home more often” Hana chimed in, smiling sweetly to her daughter. “We just miss you so much and want what’s best for you. We hate never knowing where you are or what you’re doing or if you’re even alright.”

                Yuruganai grunted, standing above his wife with arms crossed. “Just wish you’d realize how big of a mistake you’re making.”

                Suisen nodded. “You’re such a pretty girl, Rei! You know, you could get any man in the village that you wanted if you’d just stop doing such dangerous work and focused more on yourself. You could have a very promising future if you just did something about those scars and took better care of yourself!”

                “Besides, with all those dangerous stunts you could completely ruin your body!” Momoiribara added. “You know, I heard that women are twelve percent more likely to injure a vital organ in battle than men, based on previous hospital records. You could damage yourself beyond repair, and then what about having children? You can’t risk not being able to have children!”

                _Just kill me already_. None of these women had a damn clue what they were talking about. How dare they presume to know her well enough to discuss what she should and should not do with her life. Rei glanced to Naru, who was preoccupied at the snack table speaking with Inoichi’s little girl, Ino. _Great help you are_ , Rei thought to herself.

                “Oh, quiet down” Grandma Teiko interrupted. “It’s her life, let the girl do what she wants.”

                “What she wants is stupid and dangerous and I cannot pretend to approve of it” Yuruganai snapped back. “Her best bet would be to just give up this nonsense, find a suitable husband, and settle down. She certainly has plenty of appropriate options.”

                “Well, actually—” Naru began, making her way back to her seat with a plate of snacks. Rei shot her a fierce glare. She knew exactly where she was going with this and didn’t dare run the risk.

                “Actually what, dear?” Suisen said, looking upon the blonde curiously. Naru’s face turned bright red as she gazed back at Rei apologetically. The only way she could possibly save face now is if she flat out lied.

                “Uh…” the blonde stammered before pasting a commercial grin on her face and replying, “Well, actually, Rei has been looking into the dating pool recently! Isn’t that right, Rei?” The redhead bit her bottom lip hard. Naru continued. “I think it’s safe to say she’s really appreciated all of your suggestions, though! She’s been looking real hard, haven’t you, Rei?”

                “Yeah, I have” she replied through gritted teeth, eyes fixed on her friend. Naru was going to get it when they were done here. “And all of your suggestions really have been _super_ helpful.”

                “Oh, I’m so glad to hear you’re interested!” Suisen exclaimed. “I’ll have to speak with Nibui and see if we can set something up for you. He’s a very busy man but I’m sure he can make time for you!”

                “Not if my Tadashi gets a date with her first” Momoiribara butted in. “Tadashi would be a far better match than your nephew, guaranteed” she said, then turning to Rei replied, “You’re going to fall in love with him immediately, he’s such a charmer! Everyone falls in love with him at first sight! And he’s so attractive, too. You’ll never find a handsomer man in all of Konoha!”

                _Wanna bet?_ Rei thought to herself. The arguing swelled into a fever pitch, a ringing forming in Rei’s ears as her temper flared. She couldn’t take this anymore. She knew this was a bad idea. She knew she never should’ve come. And more than anything, she definitely should not have lied. Grandma Teiko gripped her cane tightly, preparing herself for the disaster that was about to unfold. She wouldn’t have stopped it even if she wanted to. Naru glanced to the old woman in a panic, trying to think of some way to relieve the tension. If Grandma Teiko didn’t plan to do anything, though, how the hell was she supposed to fix things? Naru’s heart raced. And then the temperature gauge reached it’s maximum.

                “All of you, shut up!” Rei shouted, slapping Momoiribara’s hand off her knee and rising from hr seat. The room went silent and still. “I can’t take this anymore!” she screamed.

                “Rei, sweetheart…” Hana started, inching nearer to her daughter. “We’re only trying to help you. You know, Mr. Tomoya has a lovely son about your age who—”

                “Mother, please” Rei begged, raising her hands to form a protective barrier between herself and the rest of the party. “I’m not interested in Mr. Tomoya’s son, or Tadashi, or your nephew. I don’t want anything to do with any of them.”

                “Well, that’s alright, sweetheart, there are other men in the village” Hana assured.

                “No, mother, that’s not it” Rei snapped, inching away from the woman. “I’m not interested in any of the men in the village, because…because I already have a boyfriend.” A collective gasp echoed through the room as all eyes locked on Rei.

                “Y-you do?” Hana asked. Tears welled in her eyes. This was all she ever wanted, for her daughter to fall in love and finally settle down. Rei silently begged her not to get overexcited. It would only make the heartbreak that much worse.

                The redhead nodded. “Yeah, I do. And I would’ve brought him here today but I knew none of you would approve, so I tried to save myself the grie but somehow this is far worse than anything that scenario would’ve churned out.”

                “Rei, don’t do this” Naru whispered cautiously, glancing to the others on the edge of their seats. Rei ignored her.

                “Well, who is it, sweetheart? It can’t be that bad, can it?” Hana asked. There was a tinge of hope in her voice. Rei hated the fact that she would surely crush it.

                Straightening her back, she clenched her fists at her sides and sucked in a deep breath, preparing herself or the barrage of chaos and disapproval that was about to ensue. “As of a few months ago, I am officially in a committed relationship with none other than the Copy Ninja, Kakashi Hatake.”

                There was a beat of silence as Yuruganai’s face turned bright red. Naru pressed her fist hard against her lips as she watched him nearing explosion. All the color drained from Hana’s face, and Momoiribara and Suisen became ghostly still. Inoichi’s wife scooped her daughter up and into the other room, whispering something promising about cake. And all the while, a look of restrained pride overcame Grandma Teiko.

                “I knew this was a bad idea” Yuruganai finally muttered through clenched teeth. “We never should’ve let you join those godawful black ops. I knew you weren’t mature enough to make smart decisions on your own.”

                “I’m mature enough to know what’s good for me” Rei spat back. “I’m not a child anymore, I can decide for myself how I want to live my life, and who I want to be with.”

                “That means nothing when it comes to Kakashi” her father fumed. “Whose to say he won’t see something in you that he wants and steal it for himself? Just like he did with that sharingan?”

                “Are you seriously still on about that?” Rei asked. She couldn’t help but laugh in frustration. “I can’t believe you’re still clinging to rumors from almost ten years ago!”

                “Men like that don’t just outgrow those kinds of behaviors. What about that Rin girl? He plunged his arm straight through her fucking heart” Yuruganai insisted. “Whose to say you won’t be next? Kakashi is dangerous and I cannot allow this to continue. You will stay far away from him, Rei.”

                “Tough shit” Rei spat. “I couldn’t stay away from him even if I wanted to, and I don’t want to. Kakashi isn’t the same person he was back then, despite what you believe, and I won’t stand here and listen to you slander his name based on things he’s done in the past.” With that, she gripped Naru’s wrist and tugged her up off the couch, insisting that they were leaving.

                By now, Hana had buried her face in her hands and began weeping wildly. Her birthday was ruined, and it was all Rei’s fault. She knew she would’ve been better off not coming at all. She expected her present to end up in the trash by nightfall.

                “If you walk out that door, Rei, I don’t want you to ever come back” Yuruganai shouted. Hana wailed. Grandma Teiko rose and placed a firm hand on her son’s shoulder.

                “Yuri, don’t be so hasty” she advised. “You act as if Rei has committed murder or some other felony.”

                “I don’t care” Yuruganai whispered. Then, louder, he said, “If she insists on being disobedient, then there is no place or her in this household, or in this clan.” Rei fought back the tears rising behind her eyes, telling herself silently that she didn’t care, she didn’t care, she didn’t care. If she let herself be bothered by it, then they would know she was weak. She turned to bid them one last harsh gaze before disappearing down the stairwell.

                Naru blinked a few times, watching her descend, then peeked her head through the door with a grin. “Again, happy birthday, Mrs. Natsuki! Sorry to have ended things on such a sour note but just wanted to let you know before we left that that charcuterie spread? Phenomenal! You should be a chef or something, you know, you’ve got real—”

                “Goodbye, Naru” Yuruganai interrupted, sighing as he gently pushed her over the threshold and closed the door. The blonde shrugged and bounded off after her friend. _Well, I tried_ , she thought to herself.

                Once she found her way back to the street, Rei was fuming, pacing back and forth gripping her hair and kicking at rocks littering the ground. This was an absolute disaster. Once again, she had disappointed her family and gotten herself excommunicated. Her last chance at redemption and she blew it. She didn’t care, she didn’t care, she didn’t care.

                “You okay?” Naru asked sotly, keeping a bit of distance between them. “How about we go down to Ichiraku and blow off some steam over a bowl of ramen? Does that sound good?”

                “N-no…no, I’m not really hungry right now” Rei finally replied, fighting to keep her voice steady. “I think…I think I’m just gonna go back home. I need to be alone right now.”

                “O-okay…” Naru said. A sad, empathetic smile touched her lips as she watched Rei depart, first walking quickly and then transitioning to a jog before finally disappearing into the crowd. Maybe it was because they were so small and otherwise insignificant, but the Natsuki clan seemed to rest all of its pride and hope upon its reputation. There were no other children to carry on the name, so it made sense that Rei’s father was particular about the way in which she conducted her future. If only he had stopped to think of her as an individual for once rather than a piece of property fully at his control. Naru glanced back up to their apartment, sighing, and then walked off toward Ichiraku herself.

                Rei slammed her front door and fell back onto the bed the minute she returned home, groaning in frustration. She hated to think of the aftermath of the party, of her mother’s tears and her father’s rage. She wondered where Kakashi was now, and how he would react if he knew. She almost got up to search for him, but then thought better of herself. She didn’t want to burden him. Besides, it felt far more appropriate to hole herself up in her apartment alone. She didn’t want to ruin anyone else’s fine afternoon.

                Surveying her surroundings, Sekkachi Fumeiyo took a long drag of her cigarette. From down the lane, a bushy-browed ninja approached with a Cheshire cat grin on his face. “Took you long enough” Sekkachi commented, flicking ash onto the ground.

                “Sorry, Sekkachi, I got a little tied up but I’m here now!” Might Guy greeted. It was a Tuesday, which meant their usual afternoon business was about to commence. The training grounds were expected to be completely empty so long as a jonin leader hadn’t decided to bring his genin for an afternoon sparring session. Might Guy was perhaps the only person willing to train with the blue-haired kunoichi, and she hated to admit it but she treasured their weekly matches dearly. As they made their way, however, Guy’s attention was suddenly compromised by the wailing of a woman from inside a nearby shop. He paused and peered inside to find Hana Natsuki standing among a group of other mothers in her social circle.

                “Rei is a smart girl, she could get absolutely any man she wants” one woman reassured. “Perhaps this is just a phase that will end as quickly as it began.”

                “And when it does, I would be more than happy to set her up with my son!” another commented. “He needs to get his nose out of those dirty books he’s always reading and find a real girlfriend.”  

                “I do hope you’re all right” Hana said softly, sniffling and resting a gentle hand on each of their shoulders in thanks. “It’s just…so terrible! We tried to raise her to know right and wrong, and recognize what’s dangerous, but now…well, now I can’t help but fear that she’ll end up killed because she didn’t listen! I can’t stand the thought of finding her with a hole in her chest because Kakashi…”

                The minute she said Kakashi’s name, Guy’s bushy eyebrows rose. So Kakashi had a girlfriend now, and with none other than Rei Natsuki. He had to admit, he could see it. He just couldn’t believe it—to think, Kakashi had fallen in love and not mentioned a word of it to his eternal rival! _I better step up my game_ , Guy thought to himself enthusiastically. _No woman can resist the charm of the Blue Beast of the Leaf!_ Before he could hear any more, Sekkachi called for him to hurry up, a look of impatience painting her face. “I am on my way!” Guy called, and then, when he was nearer, “Hey Sekkachi, can I ask you a question?”

                Guy looked at her with a questionable expression, something mischievous and perhaps a little too flirtatious. “Uh…what is it?” she asked slowly, cautiously. She was terrified of what he might ask.

                “Do you know any eligible women in the village?” Guy inquired. He glanced around at the people nearby, eyes landing on any of the girls in the vicinity. A sigh of relief.

                “If I did, I wouldn’t be spending Friday nights alone” she commented, taking another long drag.

                Kakashi stirred awake and checked the clock. It was quarter to five. He didn’t have to be awake until fifteen minutes after the hour, and he could’ve gone back to sleep, but a sudden looming feeling overtook him, as if he was being watched. He sat up slowly, surveying his apartment for anything amiss, then turned to the window to find a familiar grinning face pressed against the glass.

                “Kakashi!” Guy shouted, startling the Copy Ninja out of bed and onto the floor. Kakashi swung the window open and urged his friend inside.

                “You know, Guy, you really need to stop doing this” Kakashi sighed.

                “Sorry, Kakashi, but this was way too important!” Guy replied. “How long were you going to wait before telling me?”

                “Tell you what?” Kakashi asked, puzzled.

                “Now listen, there’s no need to be so humble” Guy said. “As your eternal rival, I think it’s my right to know what’s going on in your life, romance included!”

                “What?”

                “You never told me you had a girlfriend!” Guy finally said. “How long has this been going on, huh? Were you ever gonna tell me?”

                “I-I didn’t…” Kakashi stammered. He hadn’t known word of his relationship had already begun to spread. But who could’ve found out? It had been three days and he hadn’t heard from Rei since the night before the party. Every time he knocked on her door, there was no answer.

                “I don’t want to hear any excuses!” Guy interrupted, raising a hand.

                “But you just—”

                “Nope! You’ve already hurt me enough, Kakashi” Guy replied, sniffling in over-exaggerated sadness. “All I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy! I thought we were close enough that you could tell me anything, come to find that you’ve been hiding a secret relationship from me!”

                “Guy, just let me explain” Kakashi said. “It’s not like that. It’s…complicated. We’re complicated.”

                “Well, to make up for lying to me, I want you sit down right here and tell me everything” Guy insisted. Kakashi glanced to the clock. He could’ve gotten extra sleep, but from the expression on Guy’s face, he knew he wouldn’t take no for an answer. Sighing, he sunk down onto the edge of the bed and rustled his silver hair.

                “Alright, Guy, what do you want to know?”

                The following afternoon, Kakashi came home to find Rei at the mailbox and his heart surged. “Rei! I’ve been looking all over for you. Come here, we need to talk.” He grasped her wrist and led her upstairs to his apartment, flurrying her mail behind her.

                “K-Kakashi, what’s this all about?” she asked. She didn’t have much experience with relationships, but she was smart enough to know that _we need to talk_ was never a good sign. She stood by the doorway, arms crossed anxiously, as Kakashi closed the doo and began questioning her.

                “Where have you been the past few days?” he asked.

                “I don’t know, busy…” she replied.

                “I was worried sick about you” Kakashi said. “How did the party go? What happened with your parents?”

                “I really don’t want to talk about this right now” Rei said, averting her eyes. She could still feel the sting in the back of her throat from how much she had cried afterward. Just the mere thought of it all left a sour taste in her mouth.

                “Rei, please tell me” Kakashi begged. “Did something happen?”

                “No…” Rei replied defiantly, voice cracking.

                “I want you to know that Guy woke me up at almost five in the morning yesterday” he said. Rei finally met his gaze, hoping this was a welcome change of subject. “He said on his way to the training grounds, he overheard your mother in a shop crying about your love life so something tells me things didn’t exactly work out.”

                “Ugh, fine!” Rei sighed, throwing her hands up in defeat. “Everyone was hounding me about finding a boyfriend, and I-I couldn’t take it anymore! I had to tell them that we were together” she explained. Then, after a moment of silence, she added quieter, “W-we are… _together_ …right?”

                Kakashi cocked a brow. “Why?”

                “Well just because that day on the roof, I’m pretty sure you answered my question but at the same time, you didn’t say straightforward so I mean, it was still slightly unclear and—” she rambled before Kakashi cut her off.

                “Yes, Rei, you and I are officially together” he answered. A rush of color touched Rei’s cheeks for a moment as she basked in the novelty of that statement, and then reality drew her back in. “What happened at this party, Rei? Why was your mother hysterical about our being in a relationship?”

                Rei wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and locked her eyes on the ground, trying to figure out how to say this. It was too much, and she wasn’t sure Kakashi was prepared. There was a lot to unpack and she didn’t think she was strong enough. However, she didn’t have much of a choice. Sucking in a deep breath, she met his gaze hesitantly and then slowly began to unravel the past.


	24. Origins: Mother and Father

                “I don’t see why I need to do this” a young child whispered to her father.

                “Because this is the only acceptable path for you” the father replied sternly.

                The young girl looked upon the academy with uncertainty and a hint of disdain. A crowd of children surrounded the entrance, some of which she recognized from around the village. One was a boy with a bowl cut and large eyebrows, perhaps a little too exuberant for his own good. She later learned his name was Might Duy. Among other classmates were Sakumo Hatake, Aijo Inuzuka, and Yuruganai Natsuki. When she entered the classroom, she was called upon to stand and introduce herself to the rest of the class. She felt all of their eyes staring at her as she struggled to speak, finally blurting “M-My name is Yana Hakanama!”

                The rest of the children erupted in laughter. Their sensei cleared his throat and looked at his list, stating, “I’m afraid I don’t see your name on my roster, Yana.”

                Her face turned bright red. “I-I mean…Hana Y-Yamanaka” she corrected, then quickly sat down and buried her face in her hands.

                Truthfully, she could scarcely even recollect how she had gotten there in the first place. All she knew for certain was that her father was insistent on her becoming a kunoichi. She had inherited her clan’s mind transfer jutsu, after all. She had no other choice, even if using it gave her incredible migraines. Her father didn’t seem to care, however. She was destined to become a kunoichi whether she liked it or not.

                “My mom made me this cute bento for lunch” one child said to another.

                “Lucky. My mom is never home” the other replied.

                Hana spied them from across the playground, trying to remember their names. The one had brilliant silver hair and kind black eyes. The other wore glasses and had an upturned nose. Before she could hear any more of their conversation, however, something large fell from the tree above her with a shriek. Hana yelped and jumped back to find none other than a girl, one of her classmates, sprawled at her feet. “A-are you okay?” she asked frantically. The girl looked up at her with a dirty face and grinned. She had a cute little fang tooth on the left side of her mouth.

                “I-I’m fine!” she exclaimed, standing up and shaking the dirt off of her dress.

                “What were you doing up there?” Hana asked.

                “I was watching you” the girl replied unashamedly. “You seemed lonely.”

                “I-I’m not lonely!” Hana insisted. The girl cocked a brow suspiciously. “Okay, well, maybe a little bit…”

                “You’re Hana” the girl stated. “I remember because you messed up your own name at introductions!”

                “I mean, I was a little nervous…” Hana replied, trying to save face.

                “My name is Aijo!” the other girl introduced. “I’m from the Inuzuka clan! We breed ninja hounds!” At that, she proudly jutted her chin out to display a little collar around her neck with a nametag hanging from it. In katakana, it spelled out her first name. “My momma says when I’m old enough, I can have a ninja hound of my own! It’ll be so cool!”

                There was something about this girl that Hana kind of liked. She was wild and rowdy and free. She didn’t care about getting bumped or bruised or dirty. She was the stellar opposite of Hana herself.

                Over the months, Hana and Aijo grew close. They would meet up after school to talk about jutsu and history and their classmates. They both decided that they did not like Might Duy and that their other classmate, Shibi Aburame, was creepy. They would alternate whose house they would visit every day, and when it was Hana’s turn to visit Aijo, they would play with the Inuzuka hounds and eat apples underneath the large oak tree in her yard. When Aijo visited Hana, she would wreak havoc throughout her family’s immaculate living room and judge every flower she sniffed as yummy or disgusting.

                Consequently, Hana’s father did not care for Aijo very much. She was too unruly and chaotic. She knew nothing of order and discipline. One day, he sat his daughter down and insisted she stop spending time with the girl. Hana broke down in tears and locked herself away in her room for the rest of the night. If she was going to be stuck at the academy, she at least wanted to be allowed to spend time with whichever friends she chose. That seemed only fair to her.

                On a particularly bright afternoon, their sensei dragged them outside to spar. He would pick two children to come to the fore and begin a battle against one another, launching fists and kicks and even jutsu at one another. The entire prospect was daunting. The more they did this, the less Hna semed to like school until her tolerance for conflict had completely disappeared. She couldn’t possibly wrap her brain around the point of fighting. It ony ended up with everyone even more hurt than they were before. Why couldn’t they all just get along and be happy? Unfortunately, as a student in the academy, this was unavoidable. And then one afternoon she was finally called to fight. She stepped up to the fore hesitantly, and then their sensei called for her opponent: Sakumo Hatake, the white-haired boy she had seen on the playground before. He was taller than her with a face that promised he would not hurt her but she did not trust appearances in the slightest. She knew even the kindest faces could mask the cruelest hearts.

                The one thing Hana wanted more than to avoid fighting was to avoid looking like an idiot in front of her peers. She attempted to dodge every throw and jutsu that Sakumo aimed at her, though she was rather wobbly, and then she pulled out her ultimate weapon: the mind transfer jutsu. Except it didn’t work. She didn’t have enough chakra to send it all the way, and so much as attempting it sent her head pounding. Her eyes rolled backwards into her head and she tumbled to the ground with a thud.

                “Are you okay?” Sakumo asked, rushing toward her. He knelt down by her side, waving his hand in front of her face. “I didn’t mean to hit her so hard! I promise!” he said to their sensei.

                When Hana came to, she was lying in a hospital bed. A vase of flowers sat beside her. She slowly sat up, her head still pounding, and soon recognized voices outside of her door. It was unmistakably her father.

                Hana’s class graduated to genin in no time. Aijo was placed on a team with Sakumo Hatake and Yuruganai Natsuki, the boy with the glasses. Much to her father’s dismay, Hana was forced to resign from the academy altogether. _She’s just not fit for the life of a shinobi_ , the headmaster had told him. _She will never graduate to a genin. It’s better that we end things now before they get any worse._ In a way, this was a welcome relief and yet Hana still broke down in tears upon hearing the news. She still did not want to become a shinobi, that much was true, but she did not want to disappoint her father, either. All of her peers would know what had become of her, and they would treat her like garbage. The girl who couldn’t even manage to become a genin. Pathetic.

                Fortunately, Aijo cared not for anything they had to say. She remained a friend steadfast and true, visiting Hana in her family’s flower shop whenever she got the chance. She had grown stronger since their days in the academy, though she was still as wild and reckless as ever.

                “That Yuruganai kid is a real pain in the ass” she said one day, sitting outside the storefront with her friend as they sucked on popsicles. The sun blared overhead. “He thinks he’s better than everyone else just because his mother is the Arrow Ninja of Konoha.”

                “The Arrow Ninja of Konoha…?” Hana asked. She unfortunately didn’t recognize the name. Perhaps this woman and her feats were taught after she had already left. Over the next ten minutes, Aijo explained the history of the Arrow Ninja of Konoha, a renowned kunoichi of their time who could do incredible things with chakra.

                “Apparently she can do this thing called chakra tethering where she not only infuses her chakra into things but it stays there in that thing and is linked to her chakra network so anyone in possession of that thing can always tell whether she’s safe or not, and she can get intel from whoever has that thing just through her chakra!” Aijo explained. “It’s super cool!”

                Hana couldn’t quite say whether she totally understood what her friend had just said, but she simply smiled and nodded along pretending that she did. “What about the other kid on your team? What is he like?” she then asked after a few beats of silence.

                “Sakumo?” Aijo asked. A wide grin spread across her face. “Sakumo is incredible! He works really hard, and he does good work, too. I don’t think any opponenent would leave the battlefield alive when pinned against him.” Hana caught the twinkle in Aijo’s eyes as she spoke of this boy and knew in an instant exactly what she thought of him. Honestly, she couldn’t blame her. Hana remembered the day she was paired with him in the academy. He hadn’t even hit her that hard, and yet he was so apologetic and kind to her. It was clear that Aijo was in love, but Hana wondered if Sakumo had felt the same way toward her. A part of her hoped so. Aijo deserved happiness. Aijo deserved love.

                When Aijo came of age, she was gifted her own summoning animal, a white wolfhound which she named Tsuguya because he would always come to her aide if she was ever in trouble. And apparently Aijo’s bond with her teammates was so strong that her family had offered to provide them with ninja hounds, as well. Yuruganai refused, of course, but Sakumo was incredibly grateful. He was given Tsuguya’s sister, which he named Tsukoi and together they became perhaps one of the strongest duos in shinobi history.

                Hana was thirteen when Aijo swung by the flower shop one day with her squad. Over the years, her busy work schedule had driven a wedge between the two girls but that meant nothing to the state of their friendship. They would always be best friends, wouldn’t they?

                Aijo poked her head into the shop, urging Hana to come closer. “Are you busy? You should come to Ichiraku with us! It’s our last hurrah before the chunin exams next week!” Hana knew her father would be unhappy with her leaving work, but the chunin exams were dangerous and Aijo and her team were not guaranteed to make it out alive, so she was going to take advantage of every invitation they’d send her way until then.

                At the ramen shop, Aijo and Sakumo raced to the two seats nearest the wall, leaving Hana with no choice but to sit next to Yuruganai. She was awkward beside him, a result of social anxiety, but there was something about him that she hadn’t picked up on before. A hunger in his eyes, a desperation. He was clearly determined to become the best. He wasn’t very talkative, which made for an uncomfortable afternoon seeing as Aijo and Sakumo were attached at the hip. Hana even began to wonder if this boy potentially hated her, seeing as he scarcely gave any indication that he did not. It wasn’t until that evening, when they were returning home, that things shifted.

                The four were walking back to the flower shop to drop Hana off when Tsuguya heard a noise from down the nearest alleyway. Immediately defensive, he jumped in front of the group, effectively knocking Hana off balance. Before she could tumble, however, Yuruganai reached out and caught her in his arms. She looked up, finding no change in his facial expression, and her heart raced. Even if he wasn’t very vocal about it, perhaps he did like her after all.

                A few days had passed and Hana couldn’t bring herself to stop thinking about Yuruganai. She worked her shifts in a daze, organizing and rearranging their stock of flowers mindlessly. She never thought she would ever feel this way about anyone, let alone Yuruganai Natsuki, and yet here she was pining after him. The more she thought about it, the more she realized what she must now do.

                There were two days left until the chunin exams, and Aijo and her team were surely training hard. Hana gathered up her things in a little basket and made her way to the training grounds, her heart racing at the thought of seeing Yuruganai again. More than anything, she needed to wish all of them luck. She needed them to know that she was rooting for them, a steadfast supporter. It was the least she could do.

                “I brought you guys some snacks” Hana replied as the three rushed toward her. “I figured you all would need to keep up your strength with how hard you’ve been working.” Aijo wrapped her arms around her friend in a massive embrace and thanked her profusely, scarfing down as many onigiri as she could manage.

                “Thank you, Hana” Sakumo said, taking some for himself, then turning to his girlfriend, laughed and replied, “Slow down, or else you’ll be too full to move!” Aijo paused her chewing and looked at him blankly before swallowing the large wad of food in her mouth.

                “Tell that to the Akimichi clan” she finally said, taking another bite.

                Yuruganai took only one and ate it slowly, methodically. Hana watched him and analyzed his expression, terrified that he didn’t like it, but when he caught her staring, he looked up and gave her the tiniest split-second smile. Relief.

                The day of the chunin exams arrived and Hana’s father insisted they close the shop to attend the finals. He led his daughter through the stands and made her sit as close to the front as possible, drilling it into her head that she could’ve been among the contestants had she not ruined her chance at becoming a ninja. Hana sighed and said nothing in response.

                Sakumo and Might Duy were up first, an absolutely predictable fight. Might Duy was, in a word, laughable. Hana’s father said he was certain the boy would never advance any further than genin. As Sakumo claimed victory, Hana’s eyes shifted to Aijo waiting her turn, the grin of delight on her face. When Sakumo returned, she wrapped her arms around and cheered. He hugged her tightly back, whispering something inaudible to her that made her eyes go wide, and then she hugged him even tighter.

                And then it was Yuruganai’s turn. Hana sat on the edge of her seat, scooting as close to the arena as she could possibly manage. She wanted a very clear view of this fight. She watched as he stepped out, scanning the crowd. From the other end of the stands, he waved up at a woman Hana could only assume was his mother. She followed his line of vision to view her, the Arrow Ninja of Konoha, alongside her stern looking husband. Just gazing upon his mother, she gained a greater understanding of who Yuruganai was and why this was so important to him. She exuded victory.

                The battle was short yet intense, and ended with Yuruganai carted away on a stretcher. His arm was completely obliterated, covered in blood and bent at an unnatural angle. A lump rose high in Hana’s throat. She pushed past her father and raced down the staircase to find her friends.

                When Yuruganai awoke, he found himself in the Konoha Hospital, his mother looming over him. “There he is!” she exclaimed, a smile spreading across her lips.

                “W-what happened? Did I make chunin?” he asked, voice groggy. His mother’s face fell. Yuruganai tried to sit up but every part of his body ached. He looked down upon his arm, bandaged up tight and in a sling. The door slid open and a nurse stepped foot inside, delighted to see he was awake. And then she revealed perhaps the worst news possible.

                It needed to be perfect. Hana stared at the bouquet from every angle, scrutinizing her work. Footsteps fell from the staircase, and then her father loomed over her. “Is that for that Natsuki boy?” he asked. Hana looked up at him and said nothing. Her father chuckled as he walked over to the shelves and began restocking the seed packets. “Such a shame. I’m sure his mother is incredibly disappointed in him. I would’ve expected more from the Arrow Ninja’s son.” Before she could hear any more, Hana snatched up her bouquet and darted out of the shop.

                Aijo and Sakumo were in the lobby when she finally arrived at the hospital. “We were wondering when you were going to get here” Sakumo said.

                “I’m sorry, but we couldn’t wait any longer. We have to meet up with our sensei soon, so we went and saw Yuruganai already. He seems really upset, so I’d be careful what you say” Aijo explained. Caution and concern crossed her face, but Hana paid no mind to it. And then the Inuzuka girl’s eyes landed on the bouquet of flowers, and she suddenly understood exactly what was going on.

                A flurry of hesitancy began coursing through Hana’s mind as she followed the nurse to Yuruganai’s room. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. Maybe she had read all the signs wrong, and Yuruganai didn’t want anything to do with her. Maybe she would step foot in there only for him to rip her a new one and send her wailing back home. She certainly wasn’t strong enough for this.

                When they slipped inside, Yuruganai looked to the door in shock and surprise. He hadn’t expected any other visitors that day, but when he saw Hana shyly approaching, something in him switched. His anger melted away and instead was replaced with a sense of affectionate gratitude. _She would do all of this for me?_

                “I hope you like peonies” she replied, placing the flowers at his bedside.

                “They’re my mother’s favorite” Yuruganai said, eyes locked on the bouquet. “Thank you.”

                “I-It was the least I could do” said Hana, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “A-are you alright?”

                “Not really” Yuruganai sighed. Hana looked upon his arm, and how pale and tired he looked. “My entire life is nothing but bullshit.”

                “I’m sure that’s not true, I mean, you can always retake the chunin—”

                “No, I can’t” Yuruganai interrupted. “My days as a shinobi are over. My arm is torn to shreds. I’ll never fight again.”

                “Oh…” Hana said quietly, her eyes darting to her feet. She could feel the anger pulsing from this boy’s body, the desperation to punch something but the inability to do anything about it. Finally, however, Hana spoke again. “I know how you feel.” It was then that Yuruganai turned his attention fully to her, unaware of how she could ever understand his pain. She hesitantly sat in the chair at his bedside and explained her story to him, of how disappointed her father had been that she could never master the mind transfer jutsu, that she was so sick and stupid and a disgrace. Yuruganai’s expression softened as she told her tale, and then he reached out with his good hand and rested it atop her own.

                “I had no idea. I’m sorry” he replied. For the rest of the afternoon, they sat around confiding in one another, during which Hana got a full explanation behind Yuruganai’s relationship with his mother. “Mom was never home when I was younger, always off doing missions with the ANBU. When she was gone, dad would beat it into my head that I needed to stop thinking about following in her footsteps and focus on things that actually mattered, like linguistics and commerce. Intellectual stuff. It helped that I was good at it. He says I’m a math whiz or something. Still, Mom was always so cool and she always had these great stories to tell when she did come back home. I wanted to be like her, but then realized that because she was famous, people had certain expectations of me. I still wanted to be a ninja, but then I grew to resent my mother for all the pressure I felt from my senseis and the other higher-ups. I wanted to become a shinobi on my own terms, rather than gain renown because of my affiliation to the Arrow Ninja of Konoha. So much for that dream.”

                Hana’s heart broke hearing him speak of these things. She suddenly understood many of the things she before could not comprehend. The way their senseis at the academy would treat him, and the way the others did, as well, all made sense now. She wrapped her fingers around his hand and smiled kindly at him, reassuring him that no matter what, she certainly didn’t think of him as a failure. He smiled back, knowing she truly understood his pain.

                Over the entire course of his hospital stay, Hana visited Yuruganai every day with fresh flowers to replace the wilting ones or snacks or a card game they could play together. In just a week and a half, they had grown unbelievably close. One afternoon, she was delighted to find him sitting up smiling at her. “I’m finally going home tomorrow” he announced.

                “I’m so happy” Hana replied, though a part of her suddenly feared that their bond would not last past his time in inpatient. Yuruganai noticed the look of concern across her face, however, and reached out for her hand.

                “I wanted to say thank you for everything, Hana” he then said in a tone indicating that perhaps he was revealing some dark truth that only she was allowed to know about. “I don’t think I would’ve managed without you by my side every day. I never realized how much I needed you before. You’re…well, you’ve become precious to me.”

                Hana fought back the tears welling in her eyes. She forced a smile and replied, “You’re precious to me, too, Yuruganai.” He tugged her closer and wrapped his good arm around her in a warm embrace, sighing into the crook of her neck.

                 The following weeks after Yuruganai was released from the hospital were rough. Hana knocked on his door, terrified, only for his mother to answer and reveal he was not home. She searched all of Konoha for him only to find him at the training grounds, mustering all of his strength to throw a punch and crumbling to the ground in pain when he couldn’t manage. She rushed to his side to make sure he was okay, and he smiled up at her and whispered, “Somehow you’re always beside me.”

                Yuruganai refused to give up, however. He refused to believe that his shinobi dreams were gutted. His defiance made his condition even worse, however, until one day he was rushed to the hospital and forced into surgery for the damage he had done. When he was released and came to, he could barely move his arm. He screamed in frustration and threw a tray across the room with his good arm, tears streaming down his face. Hana watched from the doorway as he completely broke down, her hand clapped over her mouth and tears streaming down her cheeks. “I hate shinobi! I hate them!” he shouted, “Lame, good for nothing, pieces of shit! I renounce my dream of ever wanting to become one! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them!”

                Over the years, Hana learned there was far more to his anger than she had initially understood. The Arrow Ninja of Konoha was not an infallible saint of the shinobi world, which only worsened Yuruganai’s distress and further enforced his new hatred of the ninja lifestyle. His father Oku passed away months afterward, insisting he take over their tiny bookshop in his death. And then Yuruganai was given a new purpose in life. He dedicated himself to the bookshop, spending every waking moment there. It was right across the street from the flower shop, as well, so if ever he became stressed, he could gaze through the shop window and find Hana at the counter smiling back at him. There was something about her that calmed him. She was docile, innocent, reassuring. He soon realized he didn’t want to live his life without her by his side.

                As Hana and Yuruganai’s relationship flourished, Aijo and Sakumo grew in fame across not only Konoha but the shinobi world. Sakumo particularly was a ninja of unimaginable skill, earning the nickname The White Fang of the Leaf. Despite his hatred of shinobi, Yuruganai couldn’t bring himself to sever his friendship with Sakumo and Aijo. The four of them reunited as often as they could, though the ninjas schedules were tight and oftentimes they were never home. Each couple found great success in their respective careers, however, as well as their relationships. Hana and Yuruganai married while the cherry blossoms were in bloom in a traditional ceremony to make Hana’s father proud, or at least as proud as he could be. In his worsening health, Hana grew more and more heartbroken at how she always managed to disappoint him but on her wedding day, he cupped her cheek in his hand and said something to her that she would never forget.

                “Hana, my child” he began, “I know I have not always seen the best of you. It’s true, I had expectations of you that you were not able to meet. I am sorry for having vilified you for so many years on things that were out of your control. I accept now that you were never meant to be a shinobi. I see you preparing to marry the love of your life, and start your future with him, and I realize that this is where you wee meant to be all along. I tried so hard to shove you into a destiny not meant for you, but I see now that I was wrong. Your destiny is with Yuruganai, to become a good wife and eventually a good mother. I accept your fate, and I wish you nothing but happiness.”

                Tears streamed down her face as she pulled her father into a tight hug. He passed away mere months afterward. It was shortly after the funeral when she saw Sakumo and Aijo again in the streets of Konoha. The moment her eyes fell upon Hana, Aijo rushed forward and embraced her tightly, apologizing profusely for them not making the wedding on account of work, and for the death of her father.

                “Thank you for your condolences” Hana replied softly. It had been so long since she had seen her dear friend that now, standing before her in the street, she almost didn’t recognize her. Aijo had changed so much since their youth. She was more refined, more tranquil. She had transformed from a wild child of the woods to a refined warrior, strong and serene.

                Desperate to catch up with one another, they had all met at Yakiniku Q for dinner where suddenly Hana realized that there perhaps her friends’ relationship was not perfect, either. Halfway through their dinner, Aijo’s face suddenly went dead pale. She pressed her hand to her forehead and squeezed her eyes shut tight. Sakumo rested a hand upon her shoulder and asked if she was alright, to which she shook her head and announced she was suddenly feeling incredibly sick. In a matter of minutes, she leapt to her feet and rushed to the bathroom to vomit.

                “I should go check on her” Hana said after a few moments. As she walked away, she could overhear Yuruganai make some comical remark about pregnancy, and Hana’s concern skyrocketed. She held Aijo’s hair back as she finished throwing up, then watched her stagger to the sink for a drink of water.

                “I’m fine, really” Aijo insisted. “You don’t have to stay in here with me.”

                Hana shook her head. “You’re my best friend. I want to make sure you’re alright.”

                After a few moments of silence, Aijo sighed and looked upon her dear friend with the most ingenuity she had managed all afternoon. “I’m scared Sakumo has been getting frustrated with me lately. I’ve been feeling sick a lot.”

                Hana pursed her lips, her husband’s voice echoing in her head. “Aijo, are you..?” she began. She didn’t even need to finish her sentence before Aijo gave her silent answer. She closed her eyes and sighed, resting a hand upon her stomach. Her best friend was with child.

                It was a cold and unforgiving day when she finally told him. Sakumo blinked, unable to fully grasp the reality of what she was saying. Aijo rested a hand atop his and asked him if he was okay. He wasn’t quite sure. It was true that they had never planned for this. He assumed someday they would settle down and have children, but now they were in their prime. It wasn’t something he had thought heftily about. Perhaps the most terrifying thing, however, was that this was his fault. Whether he wanted this or not, he had no choice. Here she was, his beautiful wife, pregnant with his child. He was going to be a father no matter what.

                Hana always believed that it was Aijo’s pregnancy that finally brought them all back together again. She was restless on maternity leave, but having Hana by her side made it tolerable. And when Sakumo was gone on missions, she would spend all her time with the Natsuki’s looking into nursery options with Hana and thumbing through pregnancy books in Kaminoki. The most unexpected advantage, however, was the ability to confide in Yuruganai’s mother. As a former ninja mother herself, Teiko Natsuki had a very specific lens on Aijo’s situation that the young woman was incredibly grateful for. Teiko took to Aijo as if she was her own daughter much like how Hana had always considered Aijo like her own sister.

                As Aijo’s belly expanded, however, she grew more and more panicked about when her baby would finally arrive. She came to Hana in tears one day, hugging her tightly and babbling incomprehensible nonsense. Hana rested her hands on her friend’s shoulders, helped her steady her breathing, and then asked her what all the fuss was about. “I’m terrified, Hana” Aijo cried. “What if Sakumo isn’t here when the baby arrives? He’s been so busy lately. I can’t do this without him. I can’t let him be absent for the birth of his son.”

                “I’m sure everything will be fine” Hana assured, though she couldn’t say she was positive on that. “Can’t you ask the hokage about paternity leave?”

                Aijo shook her head. “It doesn’t exist. Nowhere does it require a man to be given leave from work when his wife gives birth” she explained. Hana’s heart broke. Truthfully, that made no sense to her but there was nothing they could do about it. The young woman then pressed her forehead against Hana’s and looked her in the eye with an intensity that caught Hana off guard. “We’ve been friends for a long time, right?” Aijo asked. Hana nodded. “And you would do anything for me, correct?”

                “I mean, I would do whatever I can but I’m not a ninja like you, so I can’t—” Hana started, but Aijo pressed her index finger to her lips.

                “Let’s not focus on technicalities. I just need you to say that you’re there for me no matter what.”

                “Of course.”

                “Then I need to ask a favor of you.” Hana sucked in a deep breath as she prepared herself to hear Aijo’s request. “If things don’t work out, and Sakumo is gone when I go into labor, I want you to be there by my side for everything.” As Aijo spoke, Hana noticed something that she had scarcely ever seen before coming from her best friend: fear. She took Aijo’s hand in hers and made her promise.

                And then it happened. Sakumo was on a mission, and therefore Aijo was spending the night with the Natsuki family. She tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. A monstrous storm raged outside. A flash of lightning struck, and a sharp pain hit Aijo’s stomach. She sat upright, gasping for breath, then called for Hana and Yuruganai. The entire house erupted in chaos as they prepared for the birth of Aijo’s son.

                Hana had never seen such pain before, sitting beside her best friend and letting her grip her hand. She looked to Teiko for reassurance, terrified that perhaps there was something wrong, that they needed to brave the weather and head to the hospital, that this level of pain was abnormal. But Teiko met her gaze and assured her that no, this was all as it was supposed to be. There was nothing abnormal about it. _When you give birth, you will understand_ , she said later that night in private. In those moments, Hana suddenly grew increasingly terrified of having children of her own.

                As the storm intensified, so did Aijo’s labor pains. Teiko wiped her brow with her forearm and announced, “It’s almost time.” A wave of panic rushed over Aijo, who looked to Hana in fear. Hana knew exactly what she was thinking. _Sakumo._

And then, as if summoned there by her own blood, the door swung open and the White Fang burst inside, soaking wet. Yuruganai came in behind him. “I’ve never been so grateful to live next door before, or else I may never have found you here” Sakumo explained. Hana slid out of the way so he could take her place beside his wife. All of Aijo’s anxiety melted away.

                Over the course of all the years he had known her, Sakumo had never seen Aijo in such pain. She squeezed his hand, crying and panting, and he did his best to calm her but quite frankly he had no idea what he was doing. And then the time had come. Teiko insisted Hana sit on the other side of her friend, taking her other hand and holding her leg with her other. Sakumo watched his wife’s face contort as she pushed, his heart racing in his chest. This was the most powerful and most intimidating he had ever seen her, and all he could think to himself was _I love you so much_. And then a cry broke through the darkness and everything shifted. Teiko held up their baby and rested him on Aijo’s chest, tears streaming down her face. Hana recoiled as she watched the little family welcome their newest addition, wiping away tears of her own. It had only felt like yesterday that they were children themselves, eating apples under oak trees and judging whether certain flowers were yummy or gross. And now she was watching her best friend cuddle her newborn son, caressing his cheek and petting his thin, soggy hair.

                “What should we name him?” Sakumo asked. Of all the plans she had frantically tried to make on welcoming their new baby to the world, she had wanted to sit down with Sakumo and discuss names in depth but never got the chance to. For a moment, she panicked, feeling unprepared and as if she had already failed as a mother by not having one prepared. She looked down at her baby through teary eyes, however, and the perfect name came to her as if it was chosen by fate itself. She wiped her tears and nodded definitively, turning to her husband to give her answer.

                “Kakashi. Our little Kakashi.”


	25. Spreading the News

                Rei pulled her hair up and then finished strapping her arm guards on when there was a knock at the door. It was early, and she couldn’t fathom who would possibly be visiting her at this hour other than Kakashi, who was likely already off fulfilling his morning routine. When she opened the door, she found Sekkachi Fumeiyo standing before her with arms crossed and a smirk on her face.

                “Well, you finally did it” she greeted. “You finally got into Kakashi’s pants.”

                “H-How did you find my address?” she asked. She hadn’t spoken to Sekkachi in years. The blue-haired kunoichi didn’t answer. Rather, she waltzed into Rei’s apartment, ran her finger across the layer of dust on her desk, then seated herself on the windowsill. “Wait a second, how did you hear about this anyway?” A sense of panic suddenly overwhelmed her. Was Kakashi telling everyone about their relationship? He didn’t seem like the type to flaunt something like that.

                Sekkachi shrugged. “I know a guy” she said bluntly. Rei narrowed her eyes.

                “Who? Which guy?”

                “ _The_ Guy” Sekkachi explained. She pulled a pack of cigarettes from her pouch, tugging one out with her mouth. As she went to light the end of it, Rei lurched forward and slapped it out of her mouth and out the window.

                “Hey, don’t do that here” she insisted. “You’ll start a damn fire.”

                “You know, I’ve gotta say, I’m proud of you, Red” she sighed. “It’s nice to see all your childhood whining wasn’t for nothing.”

                “I’m sorry?” Rei asked. Now she was beginning to get pissed. “Who else knows about this?”

                Sekkachi paused for a moment, counting on her fingers, then shrugged. “I don’t know. Lots of people. Probably everyone. Why? Are you guys in some secret relationship?”

                “Well, no, but…”

                “Then what’s the problem?” Sekkachi asked.

                “The problem is that I just expected us to tell people about this ourselves, rather than have my childhood comrade barge into my apartment talking about it!” Rei shouted.

                “Talking about what?” a voice then called from the doorway. _Kill me, kill me now_ , Rei thought to herself. Standing tall and proud was Tenshi, arms crossed with a stance that read she meant business.

                “I stand corrected. I guess not _everyone_ knows” Sekkachi replied. Rei could tell she was restraining a disgustingly amused smile.

                “Knows what?!” Tenshi whined, clenching her fists at her side. She truly hated being kept out of the loop.

                “Rei and Kakashi are banging” Sekkachi said casually. Rei buried her face in her hands and groaned. Tenshi’s face went bright red, nostrils flaring.

                “I’m sorry, _what_?” she asked, voice growing shriller by the second. She barged into the apartment and ripped Rei’s hands away from her face. “Is this true? Are you and Kakashi fucking?”

                “Oh my god, I’ve gotta get out of here” Rei said, pushing past the brunette. The room was growing rapidly smaller and the air growing exponentially denser until suddenly she couldn’t breathe. She needed fresh air, a reprieve, to go somewhere where no one knew her relationship status. Everything was outside of her control.

                From inside Rei’s apartment, Sekkachi sighed and stood up tiredly. “Well, I guess there’s no point in my staying here any longer” she said, approaching the hallway. Tenshi leapt in front of the door, spreading her arms across the entryway, and glared at the blue-haired kunoichi.

                “Wait a second, you’re not going anywhere” Tenshi insisted.

                Sekkachi cocked a brow. “Wow. It’s been a while since this has happened.”

                “Who are you? I haven’t seen you around here before” Tenshi asked. She looked the kunoichi up and down, not trusting her for a single second. There was something about her multitude of piercings that really made people think twice about her.

                “The name’s Sekkachi” she introduced. “Rei and I unfortunately grew up together, though she stopped way sooner than I did” she laughed, motioning with her hand to infer Rei’s height. Tenshi didn’t laugh. After an awkward beat of silence, Sekkachi huffed and then asked, “So, who are _you_? And why are you so hung up on what Rei does, anyway? What are you? In love with her or something?”

                “Ew, barf, no!” Tenshi shrieked. “I wouldn’t touch that bitch with a ten-foot pole!” Now Tenshi was the one making Sekkachi laugh. This woman was so childish, it was hilarious. After recovering from the idea, Tenshi straightened her back and flicked her long ponytail over her shoulder. “If you must know, the only reason I give a rat’s ass about Rei is because I want Kakashi for myself.”

                “Oh, you do, do you?” Sekkachi asked. The mocking tone of her voice really pissed Tenshi off. Who did this chick think she was, anyway? “What makes you think you’re the ideal girl for Kakashi, anyway?”

                Tenshi laughed haughtily and placed her hands on her hips. “I’m sorry, have you seen me?” she asked. “What doesn’t make me the ideal girl? I’m smart, gorgeous, talented. I’m everything a man would ever want!”

                “Well, regardless of all of that, there’s one thing Rei has on her side that you don’t, and that’s history” Sekkachi replied. She pushed past Tenshi and stepped out into the hallway, preparing her pack of cigarettes for when she reached outside. Before disappearing, however, she glanced back at Tenshi, looked her up and down, and added, “I’m sure if you stopped focusing so hard on Kakashi, you could land anyone you wanted. Plenty of fish in the Leaf Village and all that good shit.”

                Tenshi watched her slide down the banister and slip out the front door, lighting up a cigarette, and fumed. Of course she knew she could get any man she wanted, but the only one she wanted was Kakashi. And she always got what she wanted.

                That afternoon, the brunette slid up to Rei while she was checking her mail. “I hope you know you’re on thin ice” she said morbidly. Rei blinked a few times, looking up at her, then laughed. “This isn’t funny!” Tenshi shouted. “I don’t know who you think you are, but you’re not going to get away with this. You better back off _or else._ ”

                “Or else what? You don’t scare me!” Rei laughed. She slammed her mailbox shut and began ascending the stairs.

                “You’ll be sorry! I don’t care what you think, Kakashi should be with me!” Tenshi called after her.

                Rei paused halfway up the steps, a sly smile spreading across her lips as she met the brunette’s eyes and then simply said, “Well then tell that to Kakashi.” And with that, she disappeared.

                Did Rei think this was some sort of sick game? Was she really so stupid as to underestimate her? Tenshi gritted her teeth and ripped up all of her mail. If Rei wasn’t going to take this seriously, then maybe she would confront Kakashi. Besides, the only way to get rid of a pest is to kill it at it’s source, right? A sickening grin spread across her face as she stomped on the remnants of her mail, then started upstairs.

                “I hope you’re going to clean that shit up!” a voice called from behind. Tenshi turned to find Sekkachi leaning against the doorway, waving mockingly up at the girl. She didn’t know what Sekkachi wanted or why she was there but that didn’t matter much. The brunette scowled.

                “ _Would you get out of here?!”_

                Her plan would be brilliant. If she wanted this to work, she would have to peg Kakashi when he was alone. Just the two of them, no outside influences, and absolutely no Rei. She kept an eye on him for a few days before picking up on patterns of his daily routine, then went in for the kill.

                She caught him while on his morning routine, walking through the village. With an unsuspecting grin on her face, she leapt out to walk beside him. “Hey, Kakashi!” she beamed.

                “Oh, hey Tenshi” he replied. He had his nose in a book she didn’t recognize.

                “Whatcha reading?” she asked.

                “Hmm? Oh, Makeout Paradise by Master Jiraiya” he answered.

                “That sounds interesting. What is it about?” she asked.

                “Uh…” Kakashi said, then flipped to the synopsis on the back. “ _A daring adult novel about two people and the lure of romance_ , it says.”

                “You know, that sounds right up my alley! Maybe I could borrow it sometime?” she asked. She pressed her breasts together flirtatiously, grinning up at him.

                “You can just get yourself your own copy. They have them at the Pink Bookstore” Kakashi said.

                “Oh. Well I was hoping you could lend me yours! I always prefer used books over new” Tenshi replied.

                “I didn’t know you read at all” Kakashi said.

                Tenshi laughed and swatted at the air. “Pfftt, me? Reading? I read all the damn time, what are you talking about?” she replied, smacking him playfully on the arm.

                “Do you?” Kakashi asked. “What’s your favorite book?”

                “Uh…” Tenshi stammered. She should’ve known he was going to ask that. Really, she dug herself into this hole herself. She hated reading. “You know, it’s really hard to just pick one!” she finally answered.

                “Uh-huh…” Kakashi replied, a tinge of suspicion in his voice. Then his eyes slowly began to focus on the book again. Tenshi was losing him. This was bad. She needed to act fast if she wanted any chance of succeeding in this.

                Unsure of what else to do, she gripped his arm and pulled him closer to her, tugging his book out of his line of vision. “So speaking of this weekend!” she suddenly shouted.

                “What? I don’t remember saying anything about—” Kakashi began, but Tenshi interrupted him and continued.

                “What do you say you and I go out this weekend? Huh? Dinner and a movie? What do you say?” she offered. It was a bold move but it was the only thing she could think to use at a time like this.

                Kakashi slipped out of her grasp and repositioned his book in his hand. “Sorry, but I’ve got other plans.”

                “Ugh, like what?” Tenshi asked. “What could you possibly be doing?” She already knew the answer, but she wanted to hear it from him.

                “I’m spending the evening with Rei” he answered casually.

                Tenshi rolled her eyes and huffed. Just as she thought. “So what? Are you two like an item now or something?”

                “Hmm? What? Oh, Rei and I? Yeah, I suppose so” Kakashi answered. He was so cavalier about it, aggravatingly so. He had a hard time fighting back his amusement as he saw her face grow redder and redder. “Why? Is that a problem?”

                Gritting her teeth, she looked up at him and muttered, “You’re unbelievable.” Then, without another word, she stomped off back to their apartment complex.

                As Rei traversed the village, here and there she would hear her name mingled into other’s conversations. It was truly jarring to hear people she barely knew talking about her, but apparently her mother’s wailing had caught on. Many of Kaminoki’s usuals knew of Rei’s romantic endeavors now, to the point where some of them had even formulated rather nasty opinions of her. She couldn’t possibly understand why they all seemed so set on trying to decide her future for her or judging the actions of a person they barely knew. They had no idea of her and Kakashi’s history, of just how long and hard she had fought to win this. All they saw was a defiant daughter dead-set on dating someone powerful and likewise untrustworthy. As a ninja, Kakashi was widely known and even celebrated, but as a person, he often came off cold and determined. The kind who would kill anyone that got in his way. Or at least that’s what they thought. Only those who knew him personally, those he attended the academy with like Asuma or worked with like Tenzo, knew the real him, and even then he was a being shrouded in a sense of ominous mystery.

                Perhaps none of this was a good idea at the end of the day. It broke her heart to think that this wouldn’t work out, after all this time, but the last thing she needed was both of their reputations ruined because of stupid rumors and badmouthing from among their peers. Kakashi had already been through so much, she couldn’t stand for him to suffer further. If breaking up with him was the only way to save his social standing, then she would whether she wanted to or not. Truthfully, this had nothing to do with her anyway. She would put Kakashi’s wellbeing over her happiness no matter what.

                That afternoon, she knocked on his door feeling defeated and depressed. He greeted her with a smile and ushered her inside. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. “You know, I had the strangest afternoon” he then said after setting his book back in the proper place upon his bookshelf.

                “Oh yeah? Uh, what happened?” Rei asked.

                “Tenshi approached me while I was out today and started asking some really weird questions” he explained. “I didn’t realize she knew about our relationship, nor did I realize that apparently everyone does.”

                Rei sighed and fell back onto his bed. “I know. It’s been weighing heavy on my mind, too” she sighed.

                “I should’ve known Guy couldn’t keep a secret” Kakashi muttered with a soft laugh. “I have no doubt he’s the one whose been telling everyone about us.”

                “I wouldn’t be so sure” Rei replied, propping herself up on her elbows. “I think my mother is to blame, as well. While I was out today, I overheard a lot of her friends discussing our relationship, too.”

                “It seems the cat really is out of the bag then” Kakashi sighed, sitting down next to her.

                “Unfortunately” she said. Kakashi could tell something was bothering her, perhaps more than he had expected. She couldn’t bring herself to really look at him, and there was a sense of unease in her eyes.

                “I know none of this was expected, but is it really for the worst?” Kakashi asked.

                “What do you mean?” Rei responded.

                “Well, everyone was going to have to find out eventually anyway” he explained.

                “Very true, but still” Rei sighed. “It’s caused nothing but drama, you and I. I’m scared. What if this isn’t a good idea anymore? What if this is a sign that we’ve made a mistake?”

                “Do you feel like this is a mistake?” he asked.

                Her heart sank. She shook her head. “No. I’m happy being with you. I’m just not happy about the baggage that’s come with it since everyone found out.”

                Kakashi laid back on the bed beside her and intertwined his fingers with hers. “Well, if you’re happy, and I’m happy, then whatever anyone else has to say shouldn’t matter” he smiled. Deep down, she knewhe was right. She hated to think about the chaos erupting outside but right now, in his apartment, with just the two of them, things were good. It was just him and her, together and happy. Rei sighed and nodded slowly, rolling over to curl up against his side. Just him and her, right here and now, were all that mattered. Nothing else.


	26. Konoha Matsuri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanna say real quick that this is lowkey my absolute favorite chapter so far and I quickly posted the two previous just so I could post this one on my birthday (May 13th) ^_^

For as long as anyone could remember, Konohagakure held a festival smack dab in the middle of every May to commemorate its celebrated establishment. It was no secret that Konoha was a monumental fixture in shinobi history, the first dedicated shinobi village. After its creation, more and more areas followed suit until reaching the geographical landscape of today. Children learned about _Konoha Matsuri_ in the Academy, where in history books it was said that Hashirama Senju created the holiday at first to commemorate the Leaf Village’s first successful year, only for it to become an annual tradition, a true display of patriotism and loyalty to one’s own home.

                It was a few days before the festival when Kakashi paced his apartment as he shuffled through his thoughts. He was grateful to have gotten off work for the day of the festival, a truly coveted achievement in the ANBU especially. His only hope was that Rei may have, as well. The inner cogs of his mind churned as he formulated his plan.

                When Rei awoke that morning, she found a bag of pastries on her doorstep and a note from Kakashi. She unfolded and skimmed it, then pressed her hand to her forehead and sighed. Kakashi would be expecting a response, and soon as this was time sensitive. Konoha Matsuri was a huge celebration that warranted preparation. She wasn’t sure what to tell him.

                As a child, she remembered being mesmerized by the all the festivities, as most children are. The colorful lights, symphony of smells, luxurious kimonos, and brilliant fireworks display were enchanting. Now that she was an adult, the novelty had worn off. This was only further enforced by the social climate she was currently trapped in. The aftermath of her mother’s birthday still loomed overhead, everpresent.

                “I think you should go” Naru said with a definitive nod. That was the only way Rei was ever going to firmly make a decision: confide in her best friend. “I know you’re nervous, but this is supposed to be fun! Try to lighten up just for one day. Oh! And besides, this gives us an excuse to do my favorite thing: shopping!”

                Rei groaned and buried her face in her hands. “My drawers are already stuffed enough, I can’t handle anymore clothes.”

                “Rei, you wear the same three outfits every week and the only reason your drawers won’t shut is because you don’t fold a damn thing” Naru replied nonchalantly. “Whether you like it or not, we are going shopping for Konoha Matsuri.” It was hard to argue with her when she was this excited. Besides, if Naru was going then that provided an extra cushion for any negative encounters she might face. Or so she thought. The blonde’s face suddenly lit up and she squealed with delight. “Oh my god I just got _the best_ idea!”

                “Normally your ‘best ideas’ always end up being the worst” Rei replied skeptically.

                “No, no, no, I mean it! This time, it’s gold” Naru insisted. “I’ll invite Sekkachi to go with us tomorrow, and we can all try on kimonos together and have a great time! It’ll be just like the old days!” Naru was full to bursting with excitement, meanwhile her best friend flopped back on her bed and made the most ungodly noise.

                “I liked the old days better when they were just that: old and in the past” she sighed. “Does Sekkachi really have to come? I’ve had my fill of her for the rest of the year. She barged into my apartment the other day, you know.”

                “Oh, she’s not that bad!” Naru said with a dismissing wave of her hand. “Why can’t you just let bygones be bygones? We’re all adults here! We can be civil with each other, right?” The way Naru looked at her then made Rei feel vulnerable and exposed. Naru wasn’t an Uchiha but with that glare, she might as well have been.

                “Okay, fine, Sekkachi can come but I’m not happy about it!” Rei finally agreed. Naru leapt up in the air and squealed as she did a little happy dance. If only making her happy wasn’t such a pain in the ass.

                It wasn’t that Rei disliked Sekkachi. The blue-haired ninja actually had many positive qualities that Rei found admirable. It was just that Sekkachi was also rude, cynical, insane, and a total killjoy. She lacked the scruples of a compassionate person. Rei was certain the only time she had ever seen her former teammate smile—genuinely smile—was whenever she was hanging out with Might Guy of all people. She never understood the dynamics of their friendship, but somehow she supposed it worked if they had remained steadfast and true to one another this long.

                When Rei awoke the next morning, Naru was standing in the lobby by herself. For a moment, Rei felt a surge of relief thinking that perhaps Sekkachi had cancelled on them. She was also always impulsive and flaky, as far as Rei was concerned. As she descended the stairs, however, she caught sight of the ninja in question standing outside with a cigarette between her lips. _Typical._

                Naru waltzed them down the street with one girl in each arm and a massive grin on her face. “Isn’t this just the best? All we’re missing is Chikara-sensei and it’ll be just like old times!” she enthused.

                Sekkachi smirked and flicked some ash onto the ground. “So where are you dragging us first?” she asked. The inclusion of _first_ was instrumental here, because when Naru went shopping, it was an exhausting, all-day endeavor that involved at least an hour in every shop’s dressing room. At least this was one thing Rei and Sekkachi could agree on: they hated shopping.

                After a few hours of no success, Naru insisted they get something to eat since, after all, they needed to keep their energy up for the second half of their adventure. They slipped into Yakiniku Q, and Sekkachi was more than grateful for a chance to sit down.

                “So, I know you’re going with Kakashi, but what about you, Naru?” she asked, tending to her meat on the barbeque.

                “I actually have someone, too!” Naru exclaimed. “It’s Konoha Matsuri, after all, so I had no choice but to go big and hire someone!”

                Rei nearly choked on her pork. “I’m sorry, _hired_?” Naru nodded vigorously, a wide grin on her face. “Who the hell did you…?”

                “You’ll never guess” the blonde replied, full to bursting with laughter. Rei and Sekkachi blinked in unison. Naru then turned to the redhead, resting her chin in her palm, and said, “I guess there was at least one good thing about your mother’s birthday, and that’s that I was able to get set up with one of the boys her friends were trying to pawn off on you.” 

                “Oh, no…which one?” Rei asked, dropping her head to the table.

                “Nibui!” Naru exclaimed. She couldn’t hold back her laughter any longer. Sekkachi looked at her quizzically.

                “And who is this _Nibui_ guy, exactly?” she asked.

                Rei turned her face toward her former teammate and replied, “Nibui is the nephew of this lady my mom is friends with named Suisen. Apparently he is newly single and great with finances.” Sekkachi nodded knowingly, then turned back to Naru.

                “So you having trouble filing your taxes or something? You were always were an idiot when it came to math” she said. Naru frowned and delicately took another piece of meat into her mouth.

                “I’ll have you know, Nibui is brilliant. So much so that he even works in the cryptology department” she explained. Sekkachi nearly choked on her food.

                “And how much did you pay this nerd for this?” she asked.

                “A hundred bucks an hour” the blonde replied casually. Again, Sekkachi nearly choked.

                “A hundred an hour?!” Rei repeated. “Naru, don’t you think that’s a little…I don’t know, steep?”

                “You really do need help with your finances” Sekkachi said in disbelief.

                Naru waved them off and laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I am perfectly fine with my finances! You wouldn’t believe the kinds of mission the hokage has been sending me on lately.” And that was the last that was said on that.

                 It wasn’t until late in the afternoon that Naru had finally found the perfect outfit for the festival. She squealed and burst out of the dressing room showing off the color and fabric of the “perfect” kimono. Rei caught a glimpse of the price tag and winced. She doubted she would find anything within her budget here, nor did she have much luck anywhere else. Sekkachi, however, was perhaps in the worst shape of them all. Not only had she not found anything for herself (though, honestly, she wasn’t even really looking) but she had by now become incredibly fatigued and her face had grown considerably pale.

                “Alright, you found the kimono. Wonderful. Now can I go home?” she sighed, leaning against a rack of clothing.

                “But what about you guys?” Naru asked, looking them up and down. Quite frankly, she didn’t think much of their senses of style. Konoha Matsuri was a celebration and it called for spectacular clothes, which neither of these girls really owned.

                “I will go in a chicken suit if you let me leave right now” Sekkachi begged. “Just please…I need to go home. This has been too much for one day.”

                The blonde paused for a moment, then sighed. “Fine” she said, waving her off. “Go ahead.” Sekkachi looked like she was nearly about to break down in tears, she was so grateful. She rushed off as quickly as she could. Now that it was just the two of them, however, Rei knew there was no way she was going to get out of the remainder of this. Naru wasn’t going to let her go until she found the perfect outfit.

                She flipped through racks and racks of kimonos, offering up ones she thought would look good with her hair color and whatnot, but Rei shook her head to most of them, mainly due to the price tag. After a while, Naru caught on.

                “Rei, is there something bothering you?” she finally asked, extending her arm across the rack so Rei couldn’t continue searching. “Something tells me you don’t even want to do this.”

                A stout woman in the back room poked her head out and announced impatiently that they were closing in ten minutes. The pressure rose.

                “Listen, it’s not that. I’m just really nervous about this, the last thing I have on my mind is clothes, alright?” Rei explained.

                “There’s nothing for you to be nervous about! Like I said, can you just relax for, like, one day in your life?” Naru replied.

                “I relax!” Rei countered. Naru stared her down. “I just don’t know if I even want to go through with this, you know?”

                “Well, you’re going to whether you want to or not now we’ve got a total of eight minutes left to find you something to wear and buy it and we’re going to find you something, got it?” the blonde insisted. She then began frantically searching through the kimonos, pulling whatever she could find, and shoving them into Rei’s arms. She then pushed the redhead into the nearest dressing room, insisting, “Try on every single one and then pick which one you like best! If money is the problem then I’ll buy it for you, don’t worry about it!”

                Rei had to admit, Naru offering to buy her something was insanely generous. Not that she wasn’t a generous enough girl already, but the prices in this store were quite frankly obscene. This had to have been really important to Naru for her to be so determined to spend this much money.

                It took Rei all of five minutes to whip through the three kimonos Naru had pulled for her, though she admittedly did not pay much mind to the proper procedures. She eventually picked a floral turquoise brocade and that was the end of it. She zipped out of the dressing room, dragged Naru to the cash register, and checked out much to the shopkeeper’s dismay. They left with two minutes to spare.

                When the day of the festival arrived, it took all of Rei’s strength not to sit and have a panic attack for fifteen minutes. She took her time getting ready, standing under the shower head and just letting the hot water beat against her back. She even applied minimal makeup just to waste time and keep her mind occupied. She was scared that if she got ready too quickly, and was stuck waiting, she would surely lose her damn mind.

                There was a knock at the door just as she was pinning her kanzashi in place. She sighed and mentally prepared herself for what was about to happen, then opened the door to find Kakashi standing on the other side. She had never seen him quite like this before, dressed so casual and relaxed. He still wore his ninja headband covering his left eye and, of course, his mask, but his kimono and sandals were a welcome surprise.

                “Are you ready to go?” he asked, looking her up and down. She nodded, then took his offered hand. “You look beautiful” he commented as they descended the stairs.

                “Thanks. It’s new” she laughed, extending her arm out to fully display her long sleeve. “Naru forced me to get it.”

                As they stepped out into the streets, they were instantly assaulted with the chaotic splendor of festival life. For a moment, standing there beside Kakashi, the novelty of it all returned to her. The lights were mesmerizing, the food smelled to die for, and a tinge of excitement (or was it panic?) struck her chest at the thought of fireworks. She smiled up at him and he returned the favor.

                It didn’t take long for Naru to track down the happy couple, dragging a deadpan Nibui along behind her. Kakashi eyed the young man suspiciously, asking, “Have we met…?” Nibui shook his head.

                “I know you, but you don’t know me. But then again everyone knows you, Kakashi Hatake” he explained. Rei hated the fact that her first impression of him was that he greatly resembled a mole. His beaty little eyes were unsettling, and that middle part in his hair certainly was not the most flattering. But what else could she expect from a cryptologist? They all gave off an aura of sleep-deprived intellectual maniacs.

                As they passed a game of Ningyo sukui, Kakashi nudged Rei on the shoulder and with a smile and whispered, “You should go play a round. That used to be your favorite, right?”

                Rei’s cheeks went dark red as she laughed nervously. “What? Kakashi, no, that’s a kid’s game” she insisted.

                “Dammit! How many times is it going to take?!” a voice then erupted. Kakashi and Rei, as well as Naru and Nibui, looked over to find a familiar face crouched by the Ningyo sukui tub, a focused expression on his face.

                Kakashi chuckled, then turned to Rei. “Well, Guy doesn’t seem to think so.”

                Sekkachi stood over him, arms crossed, then handed the person manning the game another dollar. “Guy, I’m gonna go broke if you keep this up” she said.

                “Just one more try! I’ll get it this time, I swear” Guy insisted. The blue-haired kunoichi didn’t seem convinced.

                “Glad to see you’re feeling better, Sekkachi” Naru greeted as she approached. Sekkachi rolled her eyes.

                “I’m only here because Guy made me come” she replied. Then her eyes shifted to Nibui standing dutifully behind his date, and she couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. “Is this your man-whore?” she asked.

                “Excuse you!” Naru shouted, slapping Sekkachi with her fan. “Don’t be rude! I know that’s hard for you, but at least try, alright?”

                “And what about you?” Sekkachi asked, then turning to Rei. “And where is your date?”

                Rei blinked, then turned around to find Kakashi had disappeared. A surge of panic coursed through her, her mind jumping to the worst case scenarios. “H-he was just here a second ago!” she replied.

                A look of concern crossed Naru’s face, as well, searching the area for where he may have gone. Then, her concern changed to a sweet delight and she pointed in the direction of the sukui tank. Kakashi was handing over a dollar, then approaching with a small paper paddle and a grin.

                “Kakashi, no!” Rei whispered, hiding her face with her hand. But Kakashi persisted. He handed her the paddle and then guided her to the tank with a smile.

                “You do remember how to play, don’t you?” he asked.

                “Kakashi, this is ridiculous. I’m not doing this” she insisted. “This is a kid’s game, I’m going to get in trouble.”

                “So long as he’s getting money, I don’t think the man running the game really cares” Kakashi replied. “I would go for that rubber duck if I were you” he then added.

                Rei huffed and shook her head. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. She had never felt so hyperaware of her own age before, terrified someone was going to come along and tell her she couldn’t do that. Yet every time she turned around, Kakashi was crouching beside her grinning and silently encouraging her to go on and just do it. _Dammit, I hate how convincing he is._

                It took her only a few tries before she was able to scoop the rubber duck out of the water and into her little basket. And when she did, it all came rushing back: that childhood nostalgia, the unadulterated happiness, a simple sense of victory. She laughed and turned back to Kakashi, taking pride in her success. He smiled back at her, overflowing with nothing but love for her.

                “Oh, look! A photo booth!” Naru then exclaimed, gripping Sekkachi’s arm excitedly. She looked around at their little group, then announced, “We all need to go get a picture together, all six of us!”

                “Ugh, is that really necessary?” Sekkachi groaned.

                Naru narrowed her eyes. “Yes. It is” she growled, then in a lighter tone, “I mean, how often are we all together like this? This is a once in a lifetime chance! We _have_ to take it!”

                Before anyone could protest, Naru was dragging the whole clan toward the little shack like a chain of kindergarteners on a field trip. She paid for their picture, then situated everyone in the perfect position. Sekkachi went in the back because she was the tallest, and then Guy went next to her. Kakashi belonged on Sekkachi’s other side, but Rei should be in front of him just enough so that he can put his hand over her shoulder, and Naru would put herself on the other side of her. Nibui, despite Naru’s protesting, opted to stay out of the picture. He didn’t feel particularly included in their little group. After all, he was just a paid date. He didn’t have any emotional or historical connection to any of these people, and he never would. If he was to join in, they would all look back on this night struggling to remember who he was.

                “Alright, fine, you’ve gotten out of it this time but I’m getting another one of just the two of us!” Naru shouted right before the photographer snapped the picture. There was a bright flash of light, and then it was over. He smiled as he watched the final product develop.

                “That sure is a keeper alright” he commented, then turned to the group and asked, “Alright, who gets to take this photo home?”

                As the sky darkened overhead and the festivities began to wind down, the little group made their way to the roof of a nearby building to watch the fireworks. Rei held her little rubber duck in her hands as she cuddled close against Kakashi, resting her head on his shoulder.

                “Don’t fall asleep on me yet” he laughed. “Or else you’ll miss the fireworks.”

                “I know!” Rei replied. “I’m not falling asleep. I’m just happy.” And she truly was. She looked around at their motley little crew and her heart swelled. True, Sekkachi was as unpleasant as ever, Guy was a little too pumped up, and she couldn’t care less about Nibui, but all in all this was the absolute perfect night. She almost felt as if she was going to cry at the thought of how it would all be over soon. The fireworks would flare, they would watch in awe, and then once they were over, the night would end. The street vendors would close up shop. The festival games would be gone by morning. Sleepy children would be carted home on their parents’ backs. And when she awoke the following day, reality would seep back in.

                And speaking of reality, a part of her was truly shocked she had not run into anyone she knew or overheard any snide remarks. Little did she know, Kakashi was determined to give her the best night possible. He had met up with the others previously, insisting that they help him shield Rei from anything that might ruin her night. They put their ninja skills to good use, expertly steering her away from bad situations and distracting her with rubber ducks and photo ops. Every positive memory she would have of this night was the result of her friends fighting to keep away the bad ones. Had she known this, she may have perhaps considered this night even more special.

                Explosions of color and light danced overhead, bursting so close that Rei could feel the vibrations in her chest. She gripped Kakashi’s hand in hers and sighed happily, fighting back tears. She hadn’t realized how badly she needed this until now. And as she sat there atop the roof surrounded by all the people she cared for the most, she realized just how important each and every one of them was to her, regardless of whether they were overbearing or snarky or what have you. Her parents may have rejected and renounced her, but that didn’t mean anything. A family is not determined by blood or by clan affiliation, but by those who care about you the most and in those halcyon moments, Rei realized that she was surrounded by her true family and that was all she could have ever asked for.


	27. Sexual Harassment

It was that time of the year when the weather was at its peak—the chill of winter had made way for the impending summer heat, but it was not yet quite so hot that the sun sucked all of the energy out of you. Young adults all over the village took full advantage of this time of the year, trekking out at sundown to bar hop and gamble and carry on in the streets. It was definitely the liveliest season for Konoha’s youth.

                While neither Rei nor Kakashi were necessarily ones for the nightlife, there was little else to do with so much drunken yelling from outside that they shrugged and dropped their introverted pasttimes for the hell of it. Their books wouldn’t miss them for just one night of socialization. More than anything, they were positive the most enjoyment they would get from this was laughing quietly at the drunken idiots stumbling down the street. Neither of them were surprised to find Jiraiya among them.

                “Hey, Kakashi!” he called down the street, a woman on each arm. “Nice to see you out enjoying the nightlife for once” he said as he came nearer. “And looks like you’ve gotten yourself a date, too!”

                “Master Jiraiya, how much have you had to drink tonight?” Kakashi asked cautiously. Jiraiya glanced from one side to the other, surveying the girls on his arms.

                “Apparently not enough!” he then laughed, nudging Kakashi on the shoulder and adding quietly “If you know what I mean.” Kakashi sighed and he was yet again grateful to be wearing a mask so no one could see his cheeks blush in embarrassment. “Here, you two follow me. I want to show you something!” Jiraiya then announced, urging the couple to join him. Rei glanced to her boyfriend with concern. She didn’t know Jiraiya nearly as well as Kakashi did, but she knew enough to understand that this was likely not going to go well.

                The sannin led them to the window of a little antiques shop. Rei recognized it as the one that was run by an old woman her grandmother had known, someone she had grown up with or something. On the exterior display shelf sat a tiny mechanical monkey holding a pair of cymbals. Jiraiya inserted a coin and pressed a button, and the monkey began to bang his instrument to the tune of a peppy old song. “Look at him go!” Jiraiya laughed. “You know, he kind of looks like Orochimaru! I think they have the same nose, huh?”

                _Oh my god_ , Rei thought to herself, glancing at Kakashi with a fake smile pasted on her face. Kakashi sighed and shook his head as his girlfriend buried her face in her hands. Quite frankly, she didn’t particularly want to be associated with an easily amused pervy toad sage. Kakashi thought of the two of them sneaking off for a moment, but then something else captured his attention. His ears honed in to a conversation between two drunken men behind them, laughing and falling all over each other. He felt their eyes land on Rei’s lower back, catching murmurs of terms like “sexy” and “give me a piece of that ass.” He clenced his jaw as he focused all of his attention on their voices, itching to wrap his arm around Rei in a protective manner, an assertion of dominance and ownership.

                For drunk men, they were fast. They fell forward and the one’s hand barely grazed Rei’s ass before Kakashi swooped in and gripped his wrist hard. “I would think twice about what you’re about to do” he said, glaring at both of them. Rei gasped as she turned around, completely unaware of the danger she had been in. “I suggest you both just move along” Kakashi continued, his free hand skating up towards his headband, “I don’t want to have to use this.”

                The two men recognized him immediately and very quickly regretted their decisions. Supposedly from behind, they had a hard time distinguishing his identity, but now it was crystal clear: they had just crossed Kakashi of the Secondhand Sharingan. If they didn’t atone for their mistake, he would surely make them pay. They bowed their heads and apologized profusely before running off, nearly tripping over their own two feet as they went.

                “K-Kakashi, what was that all about?” Rei asked. Her eyes had grown wide with shock and confusion. He turned to face her with a certain breed of frustration and coldness in his eyes.

                “We’re going home” was all he said before taking her hand in his and guiding her back to the apartment complex. _I knew we never should’ve done this_ , he thought to himself. The only way he would ever let a man lay a hand on Rei was if he was dead, and even then he couldn’t guarantee anything. And all the while, Rei was still begging for answers, looking around confusedly, which only seemed to make matters much worse.

                He said nothing the entire journey back, locking the door as she leaned against his desk with arms crossed. “I wish you would just tell me what the fuck is going on” she insisted. “Are you mad at me or something? Because I didn’t do anything wrong.”

                Kakashi exhaled sharply, unable to even look at her. “That’s exactly the problem, you didn’t do anything” he said, voice low.

                “What are you talking about?”

                “Those men were about to assault you and you had no idea” he finally said, voice firm but booming. Rei was taken aback—normally Kakashi was calm and collected, even in battle. This was a version of him she was unfamiliar with, even after all this time. “You should’ve been paying closer attention. I expected better of you as an ANBU Black Ops member.”

                His words stung, a poison kunai straight to the chest. He was right. She should’ve been more aware. She should’ve never let her guard down. “I just…” she stammered. “I just thought, I don’t know…I was with you. I felt safe. I didn’t think I needed to worry so much…”

                “Well one day, I might not be there” Kakashi said. “I need to know I can trust you to keep yourself safe.”

                “Kakashi, what are you trying to say?” Rei asked. “I’ve made it this far without your help, haven’t I? I don’t need you to protect me all the time. I can handle myself.”

                “Tonight proves to me that you can’t” Kakashi growled. He didn’t want to show any sign of being hurt by her words now. He didn’t like to think about those days, all that time he had pushed her away. He knew no matter what, she would always resent him for that, and it made him sick.

                Rolling her eyes, Rei scoffed and muttered, “I’m not a baby, you know. I can handle myself just fine without you.”

                “Well, until you prove that to me, I don’t think I can believe you” he growled back.

                Rei sucked in a deep breath, forcing herself not to cry in front of him. Crying would only make things worse. Crying would only reinforce the fact that she was weak and vulnerable, and negate her claim that she was not, in fact, a baby. “I think I should go” she said quietly. She pushed past him, unlocked the door, stepped out into the hallway. “I’ll talk to you in the morning.”

                It wasn’t until she was safely back in her own apartment that she let herself break down. How could it have possibly come to this? What had become of this god awful night? She curled up in bed and prayed to fall asleep quickly so she wouldn’t have to overthink it.

                Come morning, Kakashi woke up feeling groggy and worn out. He could scarcely sleep, and there was a lump in the pit of his stomach. He considered knocking on Rei’s front door as he stepped into the hallway but restrained himself. She never was one to wake up early, and if he tried to speak with her now it would only make things worse. He pressed his hand against the door, ran his fingers down to graze the knob, and then walked away.

                “So, what is exactly is the problem?” Naru asked, leaning back in her seat. She held her cup of tea casually in one hand, left leg crossed over top of the right.

                Rei blinked. “Naru, I told you” she replied. “Kakashi got his panties in a bunch because apparently I’m not alert enough. I really don’t want to have to go through the whole spiel again.”

                “No, I know all that” Naru replied with dismissive wave of her hand. “I’m not deaf. I just don’t see how any of this is a problem…?”

                Groaning, Rei buried her face in her hands. “My god” she sighed. “It’s a problem because it’s an insult to my ability! The idea of me being unalert…I don’t know, it just made me feel like he was saying I wasn’t good enough. Like I’m some weak, whiny little child.”

                “Well, you’re not exactly disproving the whiny part” Naru laughed. The redhead shot her a death glare. Naru took another sip of her tea, then spread her hands across the table like an entrepreneur about to propose a massive deal. “Listen, I know you’ve got this complex where you always have something to prove but just this once, can you please not act like everyone is against you?”

                Rei crossed her arms and sucked her teeth. “How do you expect me to do that?”

                “For starters, you can stop being such a whiny little bitch about this” Naru suggested. “And most importantly, try to muster up some sense of empathy. Do you have any idea what those guys might have had in mind?”

                She hadn’t thought too deeply about it. She hadn’t wanted to. But now she had no choice. The scenarios began filtering through her head, and they scared her. “Yeah, well, what about it?” Rei fired back. “It’s not like I can’t handle myself.”

                “That doesn’t mean a damn thing, Rei” Naru replied, slamming her fist on the table. Taken aback, Rei brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and coughed into her fist.

                “N-Naru, listen, I’m sorry, just…just don’t cause a scene, alright?” Rei asked quietly.

                Naru chewed her bottom lip and leaned back in her seat. “Do you have any idea why this bugs me so much, Rei?” she asked after a moment of silence. Rei shook her head. “I have been in your position countless times before. I have been sexually harassed more times than I can count on one hand, one time almost even raped. It doesn’t matter how skilled you are. It doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re wearing, nothing. Men don’t care. If they want to take advantage of you, they will. You try to fight but…it only encourages them further. Nowhere is safe anymore. Not even your own village.”

                There was a long stretch of silence as Rei struggled to comprehend what she had just heard. “W-when…?” was all she could finally croak out. Naru shrugged and took another sip of her tea.

                “The most recent was a few months back, on a mission” she replied.

                “Who would do something like that?” Rei asked.

                “You’d be surprised” Naru said. “This is exactly what Chikara-sensei warned us about back then. We should’ve taken her more seriously.”

                “And here I thought she was just drilling extremes into our heads” Rei sighed, taking a swig of her own tea.

                Naru ran a hand through her short blonde hair and shook her head. “Listen, I know you’re probably still pissed, and after everything you’ve been through, I wouldn’t blame you. But for the love of god, do not stay mad at Kakashi. He did what he felt was right by protecting you. I wish I would’ve had someone like that to step in and interfere when I was being targeted.”

                Rei couldn’t stomach heading home that afternoon once her lunch with Naru had ended. She didn’t think she could handle being cooped up in that stuffy apartment, never knowing if and when Kakashi would knock on her door. Instead, she wandered around the village until, come midnight, she found herself downing her fourth sake in a bar. Perhaps alcohol could have cleared out all the bad thoughts, but as she called over the bartender and ordered yet another drink, she realized more than anything it just amplified them. Naru’s words echoed in her head, pounding unrelenting like massive drums.

                She had a fair point. Knowing her own history with sexual harassment made Naru’s stance that much more understandable. And yet a part of her still couldn’t fully come to terms with the idea of Kakashi being quite so overprotective. Had she not proven herself already? She was a part of the ANBU now. She thought that was enough. Apparently not. She took another swig of her drink, then left some money on the bar and headed out. It was getting late, the booze clearly wasn’t helping, and now she just wanted to go someplace quiet and be left alone.

                As she trudged back to her apartment, tipsy and tired, she heard voices echo in the background. There was something familiar about them, something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Was it Guy on his way home from a late-night training session? No, these voices weren’t exuberant enough. Maybe Asuma walking Kurenai home? No, not him either. It wasn’t until she passed the antique shop that she fully recognized it. The men from before.

                “Hey, sexy! What are you doing out here all alone? Where’s your boyfriend, huh?” the one asked, and then in a flash he was mere inches from her face, trapping her between himself and the wall.

                “I smell sake on your breath” the other growled. “Looks like someone’s had a little too much to drink.”

                “I’m perfectly sober, thanks” Rei spat, narrowing her eyes at them though her vision was blurry and doubled. She hoped she hid it well enough.

                “We better take you back to our place, just to be safe” the first one replied, skating a gentle hand across her cheek and down her neck.

                “I said I’m fine” Rei insisted. The second man laughed incredulously.

                “She’s feisty!” he commented. Then, turning to his partner, “Guess we’ll have to do things the hard way.”

                “Rei!” a voice shouted from down the street. Before they had time to react, the men lunged forward to seize her. Then the pang of metal glinting in the streetlights, a splash of blood, and they fell to the ground crying in agony. Kakashi blinked from the other end of the road.

                “Told you I was sober” Rei growled, leaning down just close enough to slash them one last time with the kanzashi from her ponytail. “It’s sad, really. So undesirable that you have to harass women just to get laid. What would your mothers think?”

                “R-Rei…” Kakashi stammered, rushing toward her. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

                “Just taking care of some business” she replied, sliding the pin back into her hair.

                “They could’ve hurt you” he replied.

                “Yeah, and I stopped them” Rei said back. “Now they won’t be hurting anyone anymore” she replied, jerking her head down toward the pair. They both held their crotches and panted in pain. “And if they do,” she then added, giving them each one last kick in the pants for good luck, “They’ll know what’s coming.”

                “You should’ve let me handle things” Kakashi replied.

                “From all the way over there?” Rei asked, motioning to the other end of the street. “They would’ve already violated me ten different ways by the time you got over here. I took care of it myself. I’m safe. Isn’t that enough for you?”

                 Kakashi heaved a sigh and ran a hand through his hair. “It’s more complicated than that” he sighed.

                “Then explain it to me, please” Rei begged, borderline hysterical now. If she let herself be vulnerable, she was a liability and putting herself in danger, and yet if she defended herself, she was still doing something wrong. Either way, she couldn’t fucking win.

                “I can’t afford to lose you!” Kakashi finally exploded. “I don’t like the thought of you being in danger. I can’t stand to lose anyone else. I made a promise when I first met you that I would protect you with my life, and so far I feel like I’ve failed in that so I can’t afford to screw up anymore.”

                Rei blinked, staring back at him dumbfounded. This was a lot of information to take in at once, and she wasn’t totally honest when she said she was sober. Then, finally, she straightened her back and sucked in a deep breath. “Well, I appreciate your concern, but I’m not a child anymore. I’m not helpless.”

                “I’m sorry for ever making you think that was how I felt” Kakashi replied. “But I’m not sorry for how I reacted.” He stepped forward slowly, cupping her cheek in his hand and looking at her with a weak, teary gaze. “You are…very precious to me, Rei. I don’t ever want to lose you, and whether you like it or not, I am going to do everything in my power to make sure I never do.”


	28. Ansatsu no Usagi

                A lunch date with Naru was really nothing out of the ordinary, but there was something about the tone of her invitation today that made Rei nervous. There was a sense of confidence in her voice that she saved for the rarest occasions, ones in which something big had happened that she was wildly proud of and that needed to be revealed in the grandest of ways. Rei tried to calm her anxiety as she pulled her hair back and slid her kanzashi into the base of her ponytail. Maybe she had just started a new relationship or found a cute new dress. Rei knew these were obviously petty and nothing Naru would truly get this excited for, but she was fearful of the truth.

                She arrived at Yakiniku Q early, a byproduct of her severe anxiety. She ordered herself a tea, something soothing and hardly caffeinated, while she waited. When Naru finally did arrive, Rei’s heart leapt in her throat. The grin on her face was almost too much to bear. The blonde slid into the chair opposite her friend, thanking her profusely for meeting with her, then ordered herself some sake.

                Rei did not like to consider herself a selfish person. She truly wanted her friends to be happy, and this was no exception. Whatever Naru had to say, she was glad things were going well. This likely didn’t even have anything to do with her, and yet she still found herself feeling anxious. She just wanted to get it over with already. She cleared her throat, took another sip of tea, then asked, “So, what’s all this about? What’s the big news?”

                Naru was nearly full to bursting. She clenched her fists in front of her face, squealed, and then announced, “I’m joining the ANBU!”

                Rei nearly choked on her drink. “I’m sorry, what?” she asked.

                “I’ve been appointed to the ANBU!” Naru repeated. “Isn’t that amazing? We’ll get to work together all the time! It’ll be just like the old days!”

                Rei’s head was spinning. She knew she had a bad feeling about all of this. “W-when did this happen? How long have you known?” was the most she could croak out.

                “The hokage called for me this morning and brought it up. I can’t say I didn’t see it coming, though. You wouldn’t believe the missions he had been sending me on” Naru explained. “Obviously I said yes immediately—how could I not? Especially when it meant working with you!”

                _I think I’m going to be sick_ , Rei thought to herself. She tried her best to keep her composure. “Are you sure you’re really prepared for this, though, Naru? I mean, the ANBU is…intense” she replied.

                Naru rested her chin in her hand. “What? Like it’s hard?” she asked dumbly.

                “I just don’t know if you’re ready for what the black ops is going to throw at you” Rei said.

                “Oh, come on, it’s not like we’re in a war!” Naru said. “Why are you getting so worked up about this? I thought you’d be happy.”

                “I am happy!” Rei insisted. “I just don’t know if the hokage made the right decision…”

                “And what is that supposed to mean?” Naru crossed her arms and narrowed her eyes harshly.

                This was turning into a disaster. Rei peered around the dining room, hoping this wouldn’t turn into a scene. There were a handful of other parties surrounding, and she really did not want to capture their attention. She sucked in a deep breath, knowing she needed to tread lightly on this subject. “The ANBU requires a certain…I don’t know, _darkness_ …and I mean, you’re like…the epitome of rainbows and bubblegum, you know? I’m not saying you can’t handle it, because I’m sure you can, I just don’t know if you’re ready for the type of shit that goes on in the ANBU…you know?”

                Naru’s gaze grew colder. “You’re such a downer, you know that?” she said. “It’s like you don’t think I know what I’m doing. Quit overthinking everything. I can handle myself, alright? I don’t think the hokage would’ve done something like this if he didn’t think so, too. I’m not a baby, you know, and I think you should really give me some more credit.” Rei buried her face in her hands and sighed. Before she could say anything more, Naru laid out some cash on the table and rose from her seat.

                “Where are you going?” Rei asked.

                “I’m not hungry anymore” Naru replied.

                “No, come on! Naru, wait!” Rei begged. She reached out to grasp her friend’s wrist, but she jerked it away before the redhead could wrap her fingers around it. Before she turned out of the restaurant, however, Naru peered over her shoulder to give one final statement.

                “You know, I hoped you’d be happy for me. If anything, you of all people should know not to underestimate someone’s abilities.” And with that, she disappeared. Rei slapped some steak on the grill haphazardly, then reached across the table and downed the rest of Naru’s sake.

                Kakashi was thirty pages deep into rereading Makeout Paradise when he heard a knock at his door. He dog-eared the page and answered to find Rei leaning in his doorway, staring up at him past her bangs. From the look on her face, he could immediately tell something was up and ushered her inside.

                “Rei, are you okay? What’s going on?” he asked as she flopped back on his bed.

                “I need you to wrap all of your limbs around my body like a starfish” she slurred.

                “Have you been drinking?” he asked. She averted her eyes and tried to suppress laughter. Kakashi sighed and readjusted her on the bed so that she would fit comfortably underneath the covers, but she simply covered her face and shook her head. Defeated, he resorted to sitting beside her and brushing the hair out of her face. “Rei, what’s going on?”

                “I need a little help” she admitted. Kakashi urged her to continue. Scrunching up her nose, she explained the drama of the afternoon and how terrible she felt about the way things were handled. Kakashi listened intently, and a strange feeling took root inside of him.

                “That sounds familiar…” he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and exhaling. Rei cocked a brow, propping herself up on her elbows. “Well, this sounds a lot like the way I reacted when you wanted to become a ninja. Remember?”

                Rei swatted at the air despondently. “Pfft, this is nothing like that” she replied, but Kakashi shook his head.

                “It’s exactly like that” he insisted. “Rei, I never wanted you to become a ninja because I was afraid of what may happen to you. I didn’t think you were ready and even if you were, I didn’t want to risk you getting hurt. Something tells me you feel the same way about Naru.”

                “Obviously!” Rei shouted. She leapt up and began pacing the room unsteadily. “She clearly has no idea what kind of shit we deal with on a daily basis in the black ops. She’s not dark and broody enough”—here she made a wiggly motion with her fingers that Kakashi forced himself not to laugh at— “she doesn’t have enough angst! The hokage has made a terrible mistake, she’s going to croak if she goes through with this.”

                The copy ninja leaned back and crossed his legs as he watched his girlfriend’s drunken panic. “You could say the same thing about yourself” he replied.

                “Excuse you, I am dark and broody! I have angst!” Rei shouted.

                “A lot of people also think you look like a child” Kakashi pointed out. The redhead pursed her lips and motioned to her height.

                “Listen, the only reason I’m so short is because I never finished crawling out of hell!” she said. Kakashi chuckled, and Rei shot him a threatening glare that he truly did not take seriously. Rather, he stood up and rested his hands on her shoulders to steady her and looked into her eyes.

                “I know you only want to keep Naru safe, but nothing is going to stop her from joining the black ops” he explained. “I had to learn that the hard way. The only thing you can do is decide whether you’re going to be there for her or not.” There was a certain sadness in his eyes that, had she been sober, Rei would’ve picked up on as pain and regret. Kakashi knew exactly where this situation was headed should Rei continue to be the stubborn mule she was. He had already made that mistake once, he didn’t think he had the strength to see her follow the same path.

                When she awoke the next morning, she was surprised to find she had somehow remembered more of the conversation than she expected. Or perhaps it just left such an impression on her that she awoke feeling the emotional aftermath. She forced herself upright in bed, rubbing her eyes and groaning. Kakashi had already left, but in his wake was a little note on the nightstand with a glass of water and an orange. _Don’t make the same mistakes_ was all the message read. Rei crumpled it up and tossed it in the trash, then leaned her head back against the shelved headboard and groaned. She had fucked up and no matter what, she needed to make things right.  

                Despite her hangover, she forced herself to get dressed and find Naru. She had a pretty clear idea of where she may be. The rancid smell of the ANBU headquarters flooded her sinuses and made her nearly vomit. She sucked it up, however, and approached the barred window. “Hey, has there been a Naru Fuzuki here to pick up her supplies yet?” she asked. Despite the mask, she recognized the burly man on the other side. She didn’t know his name, but she remembered his persona at the very least. He shook his head, then pointed to the door at the other end of the room. Rei knew that door all too well. Yet again, she fought the urge to vomit. If Naru was inside, there was no turning back now.

                She didn’t have an accurate gauge of how long this would take, so Rei slid onto a nearby bench and waited. The room was quiet and empty, the man behind the window had disappeared. A part of her wished she had brought a book with her, though she knew even if she had she would be far too tense to actually read it. The waiting was torturous, however. With nothing else to do, her mind began racing with countless thoughts. What if Naru had taken her words to heart and truly did back out? She wouldn’t be able to live with herself. But if she hadn’t, and this was all coming to pass, how was she supposed to handle that? How could she possibly come to terms with the fear of her best friend grazing death every day? Not that her missions as a jonin were any less dangerous, but the ANBU did serious work. Dirty work. They weren’t called the special assassination and tactical squad for nothing. 

                Just when Rei was certain her boredom was going to cause her undoing, a pair of shinobi turned the corner and entered the room, their gazes landing on her as they went. She recognized them immediately. “Rei, what are you doing in here in plainclothes?” Kakashi asked, approaching.

                “I came to fix some stuff” she replied. “I had a hunch I’d find Naru here, but the guy behind the window said she was still back getting her tattoo, so I’ve been waiting for her.”

                Kakashi nodded. “I’m glad” he said. Then, leaning in closer, he added in almost a whisper, “How much did you have to drink last night?”

                Rei groaned. “Please don’t remind me.”

                “You look terrible. You should really go home and rest” he suggested. Rei nodded.

                “I will once I take care of things here.” And then the door creaked open, and out stepped Naru inspecting her new tattoo. Rei cleared her throat, and Kakashi recoiled. “You should really let that thing heal before you start poking at it” she said. The blonde looked up and blinked as if she was hallucinating.

                “What are you doing here?” she asked sourly.

                “I work here, too, remember?” Rei added, throwing in a forced chuckle in an attempt to lighten the mood. It didn’t work. Kakashi rested a hand on her shoulder and told her he would give them some privacy, then disappeared with his partner who Rei thought she recognized as Tenzo, though it was dark and hard to tell.

                Naru watched them disappear, then turned back to her friend. “Alright, Rei, what do you want? Have you come to try and talk me out of this some more? Because it’s not going to work. I already got the tattoo, I’m locked in.”

                “No” Rei shook her head. “No, I’ve had a lot of time to think and I realized that the way I reacted yesterday was…uncalled for.”

                “You, becoming self aware? Sounds fake but okay” Naru replied.

                Rei rubbed her chest and made a mocking expression of pain. “That hurts. That really hurts” she said. She watched Naru approach the window and follow after her. This conversation was far from over, and she refused to let Naru end it now. In a more serious tone, she then added, “I was wrong to insinuate you weren’t a good enough shinobi to be part of the black ops. I was wrong to assume you weren’t ready for a job like this. I just…I got scared. I didn’t want to see you put yourself in even more danger every day. I didn’t…I didn’t want to risk losing you.”

                “That’s sweet, but I’m fine” Naru said.

                “I know” Rei croaked. She sucked in a deep breath, refusing to let herself break. “Someone very knowledgeable helped me come to terms with everything, though. Reminded me that nothing I said or did was going to stop you, that the only thing I had power over was whether I supported you or not. And I can’t say I’m happy about all of this, and I’m still scared, but I respect your decision and I support you as a comrade…a coworker…and as a friend.”

                There was a long stretch of silence. The man behind the barred window appeared, then disappeared to retrieve Naru’s gear. As they waited, the blonde stared down at the counter before her blankly, hands firmly at her sides. She chewed over every word, deliberating, seeking out morsels of ingenuity in Rei’s voice. She needed to know that this was not a façade but that her friend truly meant the things she was saying. Naru had had a lot of time to think yesterday, as well, and realized that she had no more room in her life to tolerate fake friendships. She was an adult now, she needed to dispose of the petty bullshit in her life. She hated to think that Rei was not a lifelong friend, but if she had proven herself unkind and unsupportive, then Naru would have no choice. Rei fixed her eyes on the blonde and begged for an end to the silence. She just wanted to get it over with already. A firm lump blocked her throat and her stomach was churning. If she didn’t get an answer soon, she was positive she would vomit right then and there on the headquarters’ floor.

                And then Naru lifted her head up ever so slowly. The man returned with a tray of supplies, pointed her to the locker rooms where she could change. She took the tray, gazed down at everything piled atop it for a moment, then turned back to her friend and cracked a small smile. “Thank you, Rei” she finally spoke. “I can’t wait to work alongside you.”

                A strange noise broke past Rei’s lips, indicating that perhaps she was going to start crying. She forced a smile on her face, however, and wiped the snot from under her nose with the back of her hand. “You really mean that?” she asked.

                Naru gave a single, definitive nod. “After all, I’m going to need someone to show me the ropes” she said. The two laughed tearfully, and Rei surged forward to wrap her arms around her friend. After a few moments, the man behind the counter grunted as if to remind them of the decorum required of the black ops. This was not the place for teary reunions. Snapping back into form, Rei broke free from the embrace and regrouped. She rested a polite hand on Naru’s shoulder and nodded, then watched her disappear into the locker room. The newest member of the ANBU.


	29. The Letter "S"

                She couldn’t stop staring at it. It sat on her nightstand, taunting her. She didn’t want to touch it, she didn’t want to look at it, but her eyes were transfixed. She knew what was coming—it was inevitable. But was this really something she could so easily open up about? She was scared of what Kakashi might say if she told him, if she voiced her concerns. It wasn’t like she had much experience here. They had officially been together for a few months now. Everything seemed like it was moving so fast. What was the usual wait time for something like this? She didn’t know. She pressed a hand to her stomach, begging to quell her anxiety. Was she even ready for this? There was only one thing left to do, the only natural response all women have when they have a problem: confide in a friend.

                Rei walked with great purpose down the hallway, hoping not to run into her boyfriend. She knocked on the door frantically, greeted by a sleepy Naru. “Mm, Rei? What’s going on? It’s, like, three in the morning.”

                “I have a problem” the redhead said, eyes panicked. Naru cocked a brow, motioning for her friend to step inside. Surely it must be serious—Rei never was one to bother anyone in the middle of the night. She thought back to that one mission when they were kids, and she had been bitten by a venomous snake in the middle of the night yet said nothing until her eyes crossed and she nearly passed out. If Rei was admitting to having a problem, then something was definitely wrong. “I’m in deep trouble, Naru. This is serious.”

                As her best friend entered her apartment, Naru’s eyes skated to the hand tucked behind Rei’s back, hiding something. “Rei, what’s going on?” Her mind immediately jumped to the worst case scenario but she elected not to say anything of the sort just yet. Not until she had more information. She didn’t want to make a critical mistake in assuming something that was not true, even if she feared what may come next.

                Rei shook her head, packing back and forth. “It’s too awful, I don’t think I can say it.”

                “Does this have to do with Kakashi?” Naru asked. Her eyes kept skating back to whatever Rei was hiding behind her back, certain she knew what it was. She studied Rei’s figure, tried to identify changing variables and nervous tics. The usual suspicious behavior.

                Rei paused a moment, not wanting to answer, before slowly nodding. “Yeah, yeah it does. But I can’t talk to him about this. No, I can’t handle that right now. He can’t know about this. I’m too scared of what he’d say.”

                Naru sighed and placed her hands on her friend’s shoulders to halt her pacing. “Rei, listen to me. I’ve known you for a long time, and I’m very well-versed in your history with Kakashi. I know this is a big deal, but is this not everything you ever wanted?” she asked. Rei chewed her lower lip and considered her friend’s words before the blonde continued. “If you ask me, I think your best bet is to be open and honest with him. He needs to know. And honestly, I don’t think he’s going to be upset. _At all_. Quite frankly, I think he’ll be pretty happy! This is a good thing.”

                Rei looked upon her friend suspiciously, thinking deeply. “I don’t know, you seem wildly optimistic about this. How do you know this isn’t going to be a disaster?” she asked.

                “Nothing about this is a disaster. It’s a blessing. It’s a little unorthodox, sure, but I mean, you should be grateful! Both of you will end up with something so beautiful at the end of this. Sure, Kakashi will probably be nervous about this but as far as I know, most guys are. And after all, you’ve been together for how long now? Most guys at this stage in a relationship probably aren’t really ready for a baby but—”

                “Wait, what?” Rei froze, eyes blinking.

                The blonde paused a moment. “You’re talking about a baby, right? Didn’t you come here to tell me you’re scared and pregnant?”

                “What? No!” Rei shouted, wrapping her arms around her stomach. What? Did she look pregnant? She knew she shouldn’t have had that extra bowl of ramen for dinner but even then, she didn’t think it would make her look that bad. “How on earth could you possibly think I was pregnant?!”

                “I don’t know! I had a feeling!” Naru explained.

                “Well, your feeling was wrong! Very wrong!” Rei replied.

                Naru cocked a brow and pointed a finger matter-of-factly. “Listen, hear me out here, are you sure? Because the way you’re hiding your stomach, and your mood, and—”

                “Naru, no!” Rei said definitively. “I am not fucking pregnant!”

                “Well, if you’re not pregnant, then what is that that you’re hiding behind your back?” Naru asked.

                “It’s a letter, you idiot!” Rei shouted, shoving the paper into Naru’s face. “What did you think it was? A pregnancy test?” Naru didn’t say a word. Rei sighed and fell back into the nearest armchair, muttering a soft “Unbelievable.”

                Naru smoothed back her hair in a dignified manner before sitting in the chair beside her friend. “Alright, so what is so harrowing about a stupid letter?” she asked.

                “Kakashi left me this note asking me on a date this Friday and the tone of it has me nervous” she explained. “I think…well, I don’t know, I might be wrong, but I _think_ he might want to…you know.”

                “What do I know?” Naru cocked a brow, skimming over the note. Rei shot her a look as if to insinuate she should already know. It wasn’t until Rei made an obscene hand gesture that the blonde finally understood. Naru’s face turned bright red as she dove forward and separated the kunoichi’s hands. “If you were referring to _that_ , then why didn’t you just say so?” she asked in a panicked tone.

                “And risk you freaking out at me for being vulgar?” Rei rebuked.

                “Oh, yes, because the demonstration was so much better” Naru snapped. “I really don’t want to know about your s-e-x life, but what’s the big deal about it anyway? Don’t you two, you know, ‘do the deed’ all the time?”

                “Well…” Rei said, averting her eyes. She really didn’t want to have to say it. She was too ashamed. Were they supposed to be having sex all this time? She didn’t know. It wasn’t like she had ever really had a boyfriend before, but thinking of that just made her feel pathetic. She was twenty years old, she should be a veteran of this stuff by now. Wasn’t everyone else?

                “Wait a second, you two have never--?” Naru suddenly realized. Rei buried her face in her hands and shook her head. She didn’t want the kunoichi to finish her sentence. Hearing it from someone else’s mouth would just make it that much worse. A soft, incredulous laugh broke past the blonde’s mouth as she leaned back in her chair. “Damn, it’s been how many months now? And here I was thinking you were already expecting” she replied in disbelief.

                “Please don’t make this worse than it has to be” Rei groaned.

                “I’m not trying to, I’m just saying isn’t that something you typically take care of within, like, the first two weeks?” Naru asked.

                “I don’t know, is it?” Rei asked back. “It’s not like I’m some relationship expert.”

                Naru chewed her bottom lip in thought for a moment before hatching an idea. “Well, it’s a good thing I am” she replied, leaping up and pulling Rei out of her chair.

                “N-Naru, what the--? What are you doing?” Rei asked anxiously. She had known Naru long enough to know that her getting ideas was very dangerous. They almost never ended well.

                “What do you think I’m doing? We’re ninja, and this is an A-rank mission!” Naru explained, dragging Rei toward the door. “And how do we solve missions? We assemble a squad!”

                “W-wait, a squad? Naru, no, I don’t want—”

                “Oh, shush! Believe me, I know what I’m talking about” Naru explained. “Meet me at the dango shop tomorrow at 1pm and we’ll discuss things properly.” And with that, she slammed the door in Rei’s face with a smile, leaving the redhead at the mercy of her own thoughts for the rest of the night.

                Rei dutifully trudged to the dango shop that afternoon, exhausted. She deliberately took the scenic route in the hopes that running late would get her out of this but sure enough, as she approached the little building, Naru poked her head out and waved her over. There was no escape.

                The blonde grabbed her friend by the shoulders and guided her toward a table she had snagged, where on a bench sat none other than the blue-haired kunoichi Sekkachi, the last person Rei would ever want privy to her sex life.

                “How’s it hanging, Red?”  Sekkachi greeted with a stale salute. She whipped her bangs out of her eyes with a jerk of her head and crossed her arms about her chest. A shiver ran down Rei’s spine. She already knew exactly what the woman was going to say about her dilemma and quite frankly, she did not want to hear it. Sekkachi then turned to the blonde, chewing her lower lip. “So, Bunny Teeth, what exactly did you want me here for? I’m guessing this is a little more than just a dango date, yeah?”

                Naru sat with her back straight, authoritative and confident. “Rei needs our help” she said simply. Sekkachi raised a brow and eyed the redhead suspiciously. She knew Rei well enough to know that she never asks for help unless something truly serious is afoot. She pondered what kinds of issues the kunoichi might be having.

                Rei peered around the shop, praying not to find any familiar faces. Even if she didn’t run into anyone she knew, she was bound to find someone Kakashi knew who would recognize her just by association. They’d overhear, word would spread, and soon all of Konoha would know she’s not getting laid. It would be a disaster. A nudge on the shoulder from Naru stirred her from her anxious thoughts, and the blonde encouraged her to explain the issue. “This letter was on my doorstep last night, from Kakashi” she explained quietly, sliding the paper across the table. “He wants to go on a date this Friday, but I’m suspicious there’s going to be a little more than just dinner and a walk in the park…”

                Sekkachi eyed the letter with a critical eye, studying the characters and content. “You think he wants to fu—”

                “Sekkachi!” Naru shouted, leaping across the table and cupping her hand over the kunoichi’s mouth. A waitress froze in her spot, awkwardly creeping forward to get their orders. Naru grinned up at the woman innocently, sliding back into her seat as the three of them ordered. She scurried away quickly as if desperate to wash away the bitter aftertaste of an overheard conversation. By now, Rei buried her face in her hands, desperately wishing to use that camouflage jutsu and escape but it was no use. She had been pulling that trick for years, Naru and Sekkachi would catch on in a millisecond and reel her back in for even more questioning. She was absolutely stuck.

                “Well?” Sekkachi pressed once the waitress was out of sight. “What’s the verdict, Red?”

                Rei peeked out from behind parted fingers and nodded slowly. “Yeah, I think he wants to…you know.”

                Sekkachi sucked her teeth and leaned back with a chuckle. “Then what’s the problem? This doesn’t sound like anything new.”

                Rei groaned and shook her head, sinking deeper and deeper in her seat. “Kakashi and I…well, we’ve…we’ve never really…you know...” she explained quietly, eyes averted. Sekkachi nearly choked on her own spit at the sound of it.

                “Y-you mean…you and Kakashi…you’ve never…?” she asked between fits of outrageous laughter. To think, the one guy who can get away with reading porn in public hasn’t even had sex with his girlfriend. Perhaps he was spending a little too much time with his nose in those dirty books. Her laughter erupted through the entire shop, turning a few curious heads, and leading to Rei’s ultimate internal combustion. Naru only let her proceed for another minute before reaching across the table and slapping Sekkachi hard across the arm.

                “Focus!” she shouted. “This is a serious matter, Sekkachi.” The blue-haired kunoichi wiped the tears from her eyes and gasped for breath, fanning her face and shaking her head mumbling something about this being pure gold. Naru narrowed her eyes.

                Rei rested the side of her head against the table and looked at them solemnly. “To be completely honest, I’ve never been with anyone like that before” she murmured. It pained her to even say it. She was twenty years old. She should’ve been an expert in sexual endeavors by now. Wasn’t everyone else?

                “You know what this is?” Naru asked gravely. The other two looked at her with piqued curiosity, urging her to answer her own question. “This is a failure on our part” she replied, motioning to Sekkachi.

                “Wait a second, why am I a part of this?” Sekkachi asked, borderline offended.

                “Because it was our job to teach Rei all the little things about life and boys and we failed her” Naru replied. “She’s never had a boyfriend before this, and she’s never been intimate with someone. We should’ve taught her all about this all of this a long time ago.”

                Sekkachi rolled her eyes, disgusted. “Why is it our job? Those are lessons to learn from her mother, not us. I don’t hold us responsible in the slightest.”

                Naru was growing wary. The blue-haired kunoichi obviously didn’t get it. “It is our job because we are a sisterhood!” the blonde exclaimed. “We’ve been through all of each other’s ups and downs for fifteen years—for first periods and first kisses and first break-ups. We should’ve taught Rei everything she needed to know about socializing and romance because we had a duty to as her sisters.”

                “Sisters? I’d rather consider you guys like distant second cousins or something” Sekkachi rebuked, warranting another punch in the arm from Naru.

                “Guys, really, this isn’t—” Rei started but the blonde interrupted her.

                “Don’t you say a thing! It is our duty and we are going to make it up to you because this should’ve been done a long time ago!” Naru explained. “Now shut up and let us teach you about sex!”

                Again, curious heads turned and the waitress, carrying their orders, froze in her spot. Sekkachi glanced to the wide-eyed bystanders with a snarky smirk indicative of her sharp attitude. She hated getting roped into something like this but the looks on everyone’s faces made it almost entirely worth it. The waitress slipped their plates onto the table and quickly ran off, her face bright red. Rei buried her face in her hands and sunk even deeper into her seat. There was no doubt all of Konoha must have heard. The rumors would spread like wildfire now. They’d reach Kakashi’s ears, he’d grow offended and sad that his girlfriend had to stoop so low as to seek second-rate advice, and then she wouldn’t even need the help anymore because the Copy Ninja would no longer want anything to do with her, let alone sleep with her.

                “This is a disaster” Rei moaned, shaking her head. “Maybe we should never have done this.”

                “Nonsense” Naru replied, tilting Rei’s chin up. “This needs to be done. You want to be prepared, don’t you?”

                “Okay, that just makes me even more nervous” Rei said.

                Naru shook her head. “Listen, there’s nothing to be nervous about. It really isn’t that big of a deal.”

                Sekkachi slid one of her dango off the stick, the round treat bulging against her one cheek. “Easy for you to say. How many men have you slept with, exactly?” Naru blinked a few times, displeased. “And how many times have you actually enjoyed it?” she added. Again, Naru was displeased.

                “Listen, that’s beside the point. So long as you go through the motions, there’s nothing to it” she replied flippantly. “Men are easy to make happy. You just let them go at it for a while and then eventually they’ll come to terms on their own.”

                “You could’ve left off the ‘to terms’ part, you know” Sekkachi replied with a smirk. She always was the most vulgar of the three.

                Naru narrowed her eyes. “Fine then, if you want to criticize my teaching style then why don’t you go ahead and give it a shot. Be my guest.”

                The blue-haired kunoichi shook her head. “No can do, Bunny Teeth. I am ill-equipped. I don’t think I acquire the certain qualifications to teach this sort of class.”

                “Oh, come on, sex is sex no matter what. Anyone whose done it knows what they’re talking about” Naru said.

                Sekkachi however refused to agree. “Listen, if the circumstances were different then sure but I don’t know the first thing about what to do with a dick and I really don’t care to. And no, fingers are not the same freaking thing so don’t even try to use that as an excuse. If anything, she should just rely on your limited knowledge to feel at least semi-prepared for the big night.”

                All this talk about preparation and big nights left Rei feeling uneasy. Despite Naru telling her it wasn’t anything to worry about, this was still a huge deal for her. Once they broke that seal, there was no going back. Nothing would ever be the same again. What if she didn’t know what she was doing? What if she displeased Kakashi? What if they discovered there was no spark after all and they really weren’t as compatible as they maybe thought they were? It had taken her ages to finally get him to acknowledge her existence again, let alone want to have sex with her. She couldn’t stand to risk ruining this. No matter what happened, if they were to take things to the next level, they would never be able to look at each other the same way ever again.

                Rei’s thoughts overtook her mind until she could barely hear Naru and Sekkachi’s arguing. She never should’ve let it come to this. It wasn’t like they were going to be much help anyways. Sure, Naru had experience but she didn’t even like sex. Her entire sex life was an act, a mere deception. The intermingling of bodies was nothing more than another jutsu to her, a way to gain intel and the false trust of men she would later kill. And Sekkachi? Clearly she couldn’t care less about the male physique. She couldn’t care less about men in general. Her preferences lie more along the parameters of plump chests and sloping curves.

                As the three of them walked back to the dormitories after a long and tiring afternoon (mainly filled with arguing), Naru patted Rei on the shoulder reassuringly. “Listen, whatever happens, you should just trust Kakashi, alright? I’m sure he’s been with tons of other girls and knows what he’s doing.” All the blood drained from Rei’s face. Just what she needed. Another aspect of this nightmare to worry about.

                The trio parted ways with half-hearted hugs and a mutter from Sekkachi to never do this ever again and that was that. Naru’s plan was, in essence, an ultimate failure. If anything, Rei felt even worse now than she did the night before. She tossed and turned well into the morning, overthinking everything they had said and all the irrational fears that had planted themselves in the back of her mind. Maybe she really should’ve just given up on this. Maybe the only way to get out of this was in breaking up with Kakashi, avoiding it altogether. It would be on amicable terms. Just use work as an excuse. Say that their schedules never align and that it’s hindering their relationship. It was a reasonable excuse, she thought. Surely tons of other ninja had used the same. Hence why they were all warned not to date coworkers, she assumed.

                Come Friday, Rei paced her apartment obsessively, eyes glued to the clock. When Kakashi confronted her beforehand and asked her if they were still on, she couldn’t find the strength to refuse him. She did want to see him and spend time with him—of course she did. It was just how far things would go that worried her. She hoped a wave of relief would wash over her when he picked her up that night but instead, she was faced with nothing but an escalation of fear.

                All throughout dinner, she was awkward and unsure of herself and stumbling over her words. Kakashi cocked a brow, immediately sensing that something was wrong. He restrained himself until after dinner, not wanting to call her out in a crowd. They walked alongside one another, the village tinted orange, when he finally decided to confront the subject.

                “Are you alright?” he asked. Rei’s back shot ramrod straight, eyes widening. She tried to hide her anxiety, but no cigar. “What’s going on with you?”

                “It’s nothing, really. Don’t worry about it” she dismissed with a wave of her hand. She couldn’t look him in the eye. Kakashi reached out and grabbed her arm gently, pulling her back toward him, then tilted her chin up with a finger so she was forced to meet his gaze.

                “Rei, I know something is going on. You can trust me. I just want to make sure you’re okay” he assured. Staring into his eyes, she finally crumbled. “Come on” he said. “Let’s have a talk.”

                “I’ve been having a bit of an off week, I guess” Rei started. Kakashi had led her to the park, inviting her to sit beside him on a nearby bench. She pressed her knees together, twiddled her hands in her lap. This was too much. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. Kakashi urged her to continue. “It was that note you left me, the one asking me out tonight. Maybe I read too much into it, I don’t know, but I kind of got this feeling from it that you…well, that you wanted to…turn up the volume, so to speak.” Kakashi didn’t quite catch on. She really didn’t want to have to flat-out say it. She skirted around a few euphemisms before finally caving. “Sex. I got the feeling that you wanted sex.”

                Kakashi’s cheeks burned bright red at the mention of the word, rubbing the back of his neck. “Well, I can’t quite say you’re completely off the mark” he admitted. Rei’s heart leapt into her throat. So she was right all along. The past week, the only thing keeping her sane was the possibility that maybe she was overthinking the entire thing and that this was nothing more than a simple misunderstanding, that Kakashi didn’t really want sex at all. Now that he had admitted it, however, there was no avoiding it any longer. “I was kind of hoping tonight would be the night, but is there something the matter with that?”

                Rei shook her head. “No, of course not, it’s just…” she trailed off. She sat in silence for a long moment, debating hard about how to even word this. Finally, Kakashi scooted a little closer, cupped her cheek in his hand, turned her face to look at him.

                “You don’t have to be scared, Rei. I’m not going to judge you” he replied. A soft, melancholy smile touched her lips. Maybe this wasn’t the worst thing in the world after all. Maybe he would be far more understanding than she had feared. She sucked in a deep breath and prepared for her confession.

                “Kakashi, I…I’m a virgin. I’ve never had sex before. I don’t even know where to begin. I don’t know what to do. And then I asked Naru and Sekkachi for help but they only made things worse, making it out to be this big extravaganza I needed to prepare for and reminding me of all the girls you’ve probably screwed before me and I just…” she rambled, her voice losing control the longer she spoke.

                “Rei, hold on a second, calm down” Kakashi interrupted, taking her hand in his. “There’s nothing wrong with having never had sex before. And about any of the other girls I may have been with before, I want you to put them out of your mind right now. They don’t matter. The only important thing is this right now”—here, he pressed her hand to his chest so as to feel his heartbeat. “You have nothing to be afraid of, Rei. I’m not going to hurt you. But I’m also not going to force you to do something that you’re not ready for.” The redhead’s stomach flipped, her hand trembling in his. He smiled that trademark smile, the one where his eyes squint happily, and added, “There’s no use rushing into things. I can wait as long as you need before you feel comfortable enough to have sex. And when you are, I promise I’ll take things slow so you have nothing to be nervous about.”

                By now, Rei was almost certain she was going to cry. She hated feeling like such a sap but damn, how could she have ever gotten so lucky? He rested his forehead against hers and brushed the hair away from her face and if it wasn’t for that damn mask she would’ve kissed him. Instead, however, she whispered a hoarse “Thank you, Kakashi” and then he escorted her home.

                Rei stared up at the moonlight hitting the ceiling of Kakashi’s apartment. She could feel his strong arms wrapped around her and her heart ached. While they didn’t have sex, the least she could do was spend the night. Kakashi seemed perfectly content with just another sleepover filled with cuddling, saying that he was happy so long as he was with her, but deep down Rei still felt unresolved. The more she thought about it, the more she regretted chickening out. It wasn’t that she felt as if she was ready for such a big step, but rather that she just wanted to get it over with. Kill the anticipation. At least then she would already know what to expect and she wouldn’t have to be so goddamned apprehensive. She nestled herself into Kakashi’s embrace and sighed, feeling his hot, shallow breath on the back of her neck and his legs intertwined with hers. She fell asleep drenched in a bothersome confliction and ounce of regret.

                “So, how did it go?” Naru asked a few days later. She poured three cups of tea and waited patiently. “Please, spare me the gory details.”

                “Naru, you can’t ask about sex without gory details” Sekkachi argued.

                “I thought you didn’t want anything to do with men’s penises” Naru replied.

                “I don’t, but I never said I didn’t enjoy hearing what other people do to them every so often” she explained.

                “You’re disgusting” Naru commented, making a sour face.

                Rei shook her head as she sipped her tea. “There’s nothing to tell. Nothing happened.”

                Sekkachi sighed and leaned her forehead against her palm. “I knew she didn’t have the guts to do it” she commented to Naru. “Red, just suck it up and take the dick already. Quit cockblocking your boyfriend.”

                Rei inhaled sharply, setting her cup down hard. “Oh, shut up” she whined. “Just because I didn’t do it then doesn’t mean I’m not going to.”

                “Oh?” Naru asked, cocking a brow. There was a particular glimmer in Rei’s eyes that suggested a sense of great determination and resolve. Sekkachi noticed it, too, and quite frankly it unsettled her. In her eyes, it was the definitive hero moment, the turning point in the story, and it made her sick.

                Setting her hands down squarely on the table, Rei nodded and a small smile tugged at the corner of her lips. “Kakashi told me there was nothing wrong with being a virgin and that he was willing to wait as long as was necessary for me to feel ready but I realized something when we were sleeping together: I’m not going to stop fearing it until I actually suck it up and do it. I just need to take life by the balls—literally—and get it over with. It might be scary but you know what? I have Kakashi. He’s not going to let anything happen to me. I’m in love with him, and I want to give myself to him completely.”

                Naru’s eyes were wide and wet with girlish swooning. She had clutched her fists to her chest in happiness, unable to stop herself from squealing with delight. Sekkachi, on the other hand, rolled her eyes in disgust. She doubted Rei was going to stick to her word. She was all bark and no bite, promise without any procedure. Unfortunately, the blonde’s enthusiasm far overpowered the blue-haired kunoichi’s distaste. She gripped Rei’s arm and shrieked with happiness, shaking her back and forth.

                “I’m so happy for you!” she exclaimed. “I’m so proud of you for finally deciding to do this! Really, there’s nothing to be scared of at all. I’m so, so happy being with Kakashi made you realize that you can do this! And if you’re lucky, he’ll slip up and then you guys can have a cute little baby and Sekkachi and I can be his aunts and buy him cute clothes and all the toys he could ever want and—”

                “Whoa, Naru, wait a minute, slow down!” Rei begged. Her heart was beginning to beat faster in her chest at the prospect. It was way too early to be thinking about children. Sekkachi leaned forward and broke Naru’s grip on Rei’s arm, shaking her head in disappointment.

                “So, when are you two finally going to bang then?” the kunoichi then asked once Naru was under control. Rei’s face burned bright red but she powered through her embarrassment this time.

                “Friday. So long as Kakashi is free, we’ll do it this Friday. I’m going to lose my virginity this week” she said definitively. Sekkachi glanced to Naru suspiciously but the blonde was too far gone.  

                “That’s soon” the blue-haired ninja commented. “You sure you’re not doing this because you feel pressured to?”

                Rei shook her head. “No. No, not at all. This is what I want. I want to give myself to Kakashi completely. I want to take the next step in our relationship. I want to be with him intimately.” Though still uncertain of Rei’s sanity, Sekkachi knew there was no point in arguing with her. The redhead left shortly afterward for her own apartment, leaning over her desk to scribble out a quick note to tape to Kakashi’s front door. She kept it short and sweet: _You + Me, Friday. Sound good?_ That night, upon returning home, she found a reply taped to her own door. She unfolded it frantically, finding a message from Kakashi reading: _Sounds great. What time?_

                This was it. This was going to happen. She pulled another piece of paper from her pad and scribbled another message. Kakashi found it the next morning, unwrapping it to find a brief response.

                _Meet me at my apartment, 6pm._


	30. The First Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [PREPARE FOR IMPENDING SEXY TIME]

                Friday, 5:45pm. Rei stepped out of the shower and shook her hair dry, splattering droplets of water across the bathroom mirror. She had fifteen minutes. Her hands were shaking as she towel-dried the excess moisture from her hair and brushed through the knots, pulling it back and then thinking better of herself. Now was not the time to rely on the mundane. This was not like every other day. Tonight, she was going to do something drastic. Tonight, she was going to lose her virginity.

                She did everything she could to ensure it would be the most romantic night possible. Dinner reservations at the fanciest place in town, a clear night full of stars, and a new dress with a plunging neckline. She wasn’t entirely comfortable in the thing, having never thought she’d ever wear something like that in her life, but she looked sexy and that was all that mattered. Her body, her breasts, had to be irresistible. _She_ had to be irresistible. She smacked on some lipstick just as a knock sounded at the door. This was it. Go time.

                Kakashi’s eyes widened the minute Rei opened the door, blushing a bit underneath his mask. He couldn’t believe it. He had never seen her like this before. That wasn’t to say the way she usually looked was bad—not in the slightest. The way she looked now was just something new, something unexpected. He tried to keep his eyes off her chest. “So, uh, what did you have planned for tonight?” he asked, stepping inside.

                “Dinner and maybe a moonlit stroll” she replied, brushing her hair back behind her ear. “I booked us reservations at the Kishimoto Steak House for 6:30 so we better head out.”

                Kakashi was spellbound. Kishimoto wasn’t obscenely expensive but it wasn’t nearly as cheap as the instant ramen Rei seemed to eat every other night. The fact she went to the trouble of booking such a place for dinner, on top of everything else, proved that she meant business. Kakashi had his suspicions, but he didn’t want to say anything just yet. He’d rather see how things play out and enjoy his night with her before posing a confrontation.

                “You look beautiful, by the way” he commented on the way to the restaurant. Rei smiled and thanked him, clasping his hand in hers. The sun was just beginning to set and shops were slowly closing up for the night. They slipped into the restaurant and were seated immediately. During the entire course of dinner, Kakashi couldn’t stop looking at her. Not only did she look different, but she was acting different, too. He could tell she was trying way too hard to appear sexy and delectable. He wanted to reach out and grab her hand, tell her it was all so unnecessary. She didn’t need to convince him she was beautiful or desirable or anything like that. Truthfully, he liked her just the way she was, wild hair and crooked teeth included.

                Kakashi never was one for sweets, but tonight he decided to do something different and split a dessert with her. As they ate, he peered out the window. Storm clouds were rolling in overhead. “Do you still want to go for that walk?” he asked, turning back to her. She tried to hide her panic as a clap of thunder shook the building, threatening to ruin her perfectly planned night. By the time they had paid and were ready to leave, it was pouring rain outside.

                “Maybe we can just hang back a couple of minutes, wait for it to let up” Rei offered desperately. If she stepped outside in weather like this, she’d ruin the illusion. Her hair would frizz, her makeup would run. She’d look pathetic—the exact opposite of her goal. Kakashi smiled down at her, however, reassured her that a little rain wouldn’t hurt them, that their apartment complex wasn’t very far from there, they could make a run for it and be fine. Rei protested at first, but eventually she found herself running alongside her boyfriend squealing as the lightning flashed overhead. When they finally made it inside, she looked just as she expected she would: pathetic. Her heart leapt into her chest. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. She resolved to just bid Kakashi a quick goodnight and sneak into her apartment to mull over her failure, but he caught her before she could run away.

                “Let’s get you cleaned up” he said with a smile, taking her hand and guiding her back to his place. She tried to tell him that really, it was fine, that she could just go back to her apartment, that he didn’t need to do this, but Kakashi had a plan up his sleeve that he fully intended to see through. He invited Rei to sit on the edge of the bed, grabbing tissues to wipe away her ruined makeup. He smiled proudly once he was finished, announcing “There, much better.”

                Rei didn’t want to look at him. She was suddenly very aware of how small she was and how vulnerable she felt. She hated feeling vulnerable. “This is such a mess” she murmured. “This wasn’t how any of this was supposed to go.”

                “What do you mean?” Kakashi asked, brushing her wet hair back out of her face. “Did you not have a good time?”

                “No, I did, it’s just…tonight was supposed to be perfect” she replied. “Tonight was supposed to be the night when you and I…” She didn’t even need to complete her sentence for Kakashi to understand where she was going with this. He chuckled softly and shook his head, cupping her cheek.

                “Is that what all of _this_ was about?” he asked, motioning to her soaked dress and the makeup residue smeared on the tissues. She nodded slowly. Kakashi rose from where he was crouched on the floor in front of her, tossing the tissues into the trash can, before sitting beside her and taking her hand. “You didn’t have to do any of this, you know. What was the point?”

                “I just thought maybe if I got a fancy dinner reservation and dressed up, then tonight would be extra special” she murmured. Kakashi shook his head.

                “You don’t need to take me to dinner and accentuate your breasts to convince me to love you” he replied. “I would’ve considered tonight just as special if we had sat around with snacks playing shogi. It’s not about what we do or how much money is spent, it’s about spending time with you. And about the risqué dress and the gaudy makeup—you know you don’t need any of that to impress me. I think you’re beautiful just the way you are. Messy hair and all.”

                A soft smile spread across Rei’s face, resting her head on his shoulder. “You really think so?” she asked. Kakashi tilted her head up to face him, nodding as he pressed his forehead against hers. He brushed a few straggling tendrils of wet hair out of her face, rubbing her cheek with his thumb, before his eyes dropped to her lips. Her heart leapt into her chest as he leaned in, pulling down his mask with his free hand, and kissed her. A shiver ran down her spine.

                He broke the kiss and his hand skated down to her waist, furrowing his brow. “You’ll catch a cold if you stay in these wet clothes, you know” he murmured. A sly smile touched his lips and Rei immediately knew this was it. She let him pull her dress off over her head and toss it to the floor, revealing her toned physique and the curvature of her breasts.

                “I ought to say the same to you” she replied, resting a hand on his wet sleeve. Slowly, she removed his shirt, ran her hands down his chest, undid his pants. She worked almost on her own accord, following an instinct she never knew she had. Once stripped down to nothing but his underwear, he unclasped her bra and slowly the two of them fell back onto the bed together. He pressed his lips to hers again, this time kissing harder, more passionately. She tangled her fingers in his hair as his hands explored her body. When he got to the waist of her underpants, he stopped and looked at her cautiously.

                “Do you want to keep going?” he asked. He promised her he would take things slow, and he wouldn’t force her into anything she wasn’t ready for. He could stand to wait however long she needed to feel comfortable. Heaven knows she had grown accustomed to waiting. But no, she didn’t want to wait any longer. She reached forward and pulled down his own underpants in a silent affirmative answer, prompting him to do the same with her own. And there they were, completely exposed to one another. A quick tremble seized Rei’s entire body.

                Kakashi leaned in close, hot breath on her neck, bodies pressed together. Lacing his arms underneath her legs, kissing and nibbling. At first, there was pain. Tight, something in the way. Rei winced and Kakashi leaned back, asking her again if she was alright and wanted to keep going. She bit her lip, contemplating. If she could just get past that wall…

                She nodded and Kakashi brushed her hair back out of her face. “This might hurt a bit, I’m sorry. If you want me to stop, just tell me” he whispered, but Rei urged him to keep going. He worked with slow, rhythmic movements, gradually deepening his scope. The pain intensified for a moment longer until suddenly there was a mild burst. The barrier had been broken, and now there was nothing but a foreign sense of pleasure. She gasped Kakashi’s name, a prayer to keep going, and he did. He chewed softly on her earlobe, tangled his fingers in her hair, pressed his chest against hers, delved deeper and deeper, inconsistently paced, until reaching his breaking point.

                Rei’s breathing was heavy, eyes locked on the dark ceiling overhead. Her heart was racing as a cold slap of reality hit her in the face. She had just lost her virginity, and to Kakashi Hatake of all people. He gently wiped her stomach off with his shirt, the moonlight hitting him just right so that he was part phantom, not quite real, and yet completely tangible.

                “How do you feel?” he asked, voice soft. There was a certain gentleness to him that she was unsure she had ever seen in him before, at least in this capacity. As ifshe was a fragile china doll and he had to handle her very carefully lest she drop and shatter.

                She released an airy laugh before finally replying, “Weird. I feel weird.” Kakashi cocked a brow, tossing his shirt aside and crawling up to lay beside her. He pulled her close, chest pressed to her back and chin atop her head, forearm pressed against her still-sticky stomach.

                “I’m sorry” he whispered.

                She craned her neck to look at him. “Sorry for what? It’s not your fault. I enjoyed it if that’s what you’re after” she replied. “I just…I don’t know. I guess I’m just trying to make sense of it all. I’m trying to come to terms with the fact that I’m now the kind of person who has sex.”

                “Is that a bad thing?” Kakashi asked.

                “No, not particularly” Rei replied. Then, sighing, “I’m sorry, I’m not making any sense.”

                Shaking his head, Kakashi kissed the top of her head and replied, “Don’t apologize. You’re perfectly fine. I know how big a deal this is, for you and for us. You don’t regret doing this, do you?”

                “Not at all” Rei whispered. Her eyes began to grow heavy as she stared at the blurred titles on the spines of the books on the shelf. “I wouldn’t have wanted to do this with anyone else.”


	31. The Morning After

                The following morning, Rei stirred awake in a haze. She could still scarcely believe all that had happened the night before. Kakashi was still fast asleep beside her, one arm wrapped around her waist. She twisted carefully to face him and kissed him softly. He stirred only slightly, a small smile touching his lips. She hated to wake him, but the after effects of sex left her feeling sticky and sweaty and gross. She carefully slid out of bed and tiptoed into the bathroom, turning on the water and then ducking inside the shower.

                After having slept over at his apartment a couple times before, she had made the executive decision to leave some shampoo and her own sponge behind. She was certainly grateful for thinking ahead today—not that she would’ve minded using Kakashi’s soap, but she always preferred her own. As she reached for the bottle, however, there was something amiss. A long strand of brown hair was stuck on the cap, certainly not belonging to either her or her boyfriend. Her heart began racing. There was only one possible explanation, the last thing she ever wanted to happen. She pressed her forehead against the shower wall and squeezed her eyes shut tight. _How could I be so stupid?_ She thought to herself. Of course he would start dating someone else behind her back. It was all her fault. He was likely getting impatient with how long he had to wait for sex. There was no real reason for him to truly want to be with her, anyway. Now she only wondered how long this had been going on.

                Kakashi was just waking up when she had stepped out of the shower. He stretched and greeted her, a grin on his unmasked face. She could barely look him in the eyes. He could immediately tell something was wrong and sat up, swinging his legs around to sit on the edge of the bed. “Is something wrong?” he asked.

                “No…” Rei croaked, shaking her head. “It’s just…a-are you happy with me?” she asked.

                “Of course I am. Why would you think otherwise?” he replied, resting a hand on her forearm. Concern painted his face. She pulled away.

                “I just wanted to know” she said. “Because…because if you’re not, and you would rather be with someone else, th-that’s fine, too.”

                “Rei, where is all of this coming from?” he asked, leaning forward. “You know you’re the only one I want to be with.”

                “Th-then why is there someone else’s hair on my shampoo bottle?” she fired back, voice cracking. She could feel the threat of tears but refused to let them have their way. She was not going to cry about this.

                Kakashi leaned back and blinked a few times, and for a moment Rei felt a sickening sense of satisfaction. _That’s right, you’re trapped now_. There was no way he could deny it any longer. He rubbed his still sleepy eyes and heaved a sigh, then stood up and threw on a pair of pants. “Because you weren’t the only one using that shampoo” he replied.

                Rei squeaked and gripped her hair, beginning to pace the room. “Were you ever going to tell me about this?” she asked. “You know, if you weren’t happy with me you should’ve just said so instead of stringing me along like…like…like some child!”

                “I’m not cheating on you, Rei” Kakashi insisted as he buttoned his pants.

                “Then what the hell is going on?” she asked.

                Running a hand through his hair, Kakashi approached the door and replied, “I think all of this would just be easier if I had the culprit explain.” Rei gasped and leapt forward to protest, but it was too late. She was going to meet Kakashi’s mistress whether she wanted to or not. She clenched her fists and tried to steady her breathing as she watched Kakashi weave hand signs and then kneel down, palm to the floor. _Summoning Jutsu!_ And there appeared…Pakkun?

                “Hey, Kakashi. What’s going on?” the pug greeted.

                “Wait a second, what?” Rei asked. This was too much. What kind of sick joke was this?

                “It seems Rei has discovered an unfamiliar strand of hair on her shampoo bottle and has decided I’m cheating on her” Kakashi explained to the dog. “Pakkun, care to explain?”

                “Oh…” the pug said, somewhat sheepishly. “You see, a few weeks ago the water got shut off at my place, so I asked Kakashi if I could use his shower and your shampoo was the only one I could reach.”

                “Are you taking a crack at my height, dog?” Rei interrupted, fuming. Pakkun ignored the interjection.

                “You know, I was pretty indifferent at first but my coat has never been shinier” he continued. “I think I might want to use it more often.”

                “Get your own!” Rei shouted. Then, turning back to Kakashi, asked, “So all of this was just because a dog needed a shower? You’re not actually cheating on me?”

                “Why would I cheat on you?” Kakashi asked.

                “Should I leave you two alone?” Pakkun then said. Kakashi turned to the pug, then looked back at Rei expectantly.

                Sighing, she crossed her arms and said, “I’m sorry I yelled at you. I’ll buy you your own bottle of that shampoo.” Pakkun nodded once, then waved goodbye to Kakashi and disappeared. “I would rather have Pakkun use it than someone else, anyway” she muttered once he was gone.

                “Hey, what has gotten into you?” Kakashi asked, stepping forward and placing his hands on her shoulders. “Why did you ever think I was cheating on you?”

                “I don’t know! I jumped the gun. I got scared” she explained. “Especially after last night, I just…I didn’t want to find I had made a bad decision.”

                “You don’t regret last night, do you?” he asked.

                “Of course not” she replied. “It’s just…when I saw someone else’s hair on that shampoo bottle, I was so scared you were fooling around with someone else and…I just didn’t want to find out you belonged to anyone else if I was willing to give all of myself to you like that.”

                “Rei” Kakashi sighed, brushing her bangs out of her face, “That will never be the case. I could never hurt you like that. Besides, I don’t think it’s right to hurt perfectly innocent women by stringing them along. I only have eyes for you.”

                “Yeah?” she asked, a smile tugging at the corners of her lips. Kakashi nodded with a smile and kissed her forehead sweetly.

                “Yeah” he replied. “And also, don’t worry so much about the sex. I would never have let it happen if I had been unfaithful.”

                “That’s good to know” Rei said. “I mean, it’s better knowing you weren’t unfaithful in the first place, but…that’s good, too.”

                Kakashi tilted her chin up to look at him, and there was a certain hunger or seriousness in his eyes. Rei sucked in a deep breath as he leaned in close, then said, “You’re very precious to me, Rei. I refuse to let you get hurt, especially by my own hand.” From the way he spoke, and the look on his face, Rei hadn’t a shadow of a doubt then that he was true to his word.


	32. Club Loli

Sekkachi Fumeiyo dug around in her pouch for her pack of cigarettes. She figured if she walked really slow, then she’d be able to smoke about two and by then, perhaps the hokage would change his mind. She already knew exactly what he was going say, and she figured it was only right to savor as much of her time as an official ninja as she had left.  

                There was no guarantee that she was going to get fired, but there was no guarantee she wasn’t, either. She could only assume as much by the tone of the invitation. Besides, her health had been taking  a real kick to the teeth lately and she was sure the higher ups were tired of her taking time off. They probably thought she was just a slacker who spent her days smoking on her balcony in her underwear. Not that she didn’t sometimes do that, too, but that was besides the point. If she wasn’t well enough to go on missions, then she surely wasn’t doing satisfactory work and therefore she was failing at her job. It only made sense for the hokage to fire her.

                She had only just started her second cigarette when she arrived at his office, cursing under her breath and desperately brainstorming ways to procrastinate further. Standing outside just smoking didn’t seem like enough. She needed something urgent, important. Before she could think of anything, however, Might Guy exited the building and waved her down. “Sekkachi! What are you doing out here?”  he asked.

                “Just, you know, smoking. Standing” Sekkachi replied, wagging her cigarette in her mouth.

                “Well, you better snuff out that cigarette because the hokage’s looking for you, and I wouldn’t want to keep him waiting” Guy replied.

                Sekkachi took a long, anxious drag and asked, “Hey Guy, did you happen to overhear what he wants with me?” He shook his head.

                “No, I’m afraid I didn’t but from the looks of it, it’s pretty important and I’m sure he doesn’t have all day” he explained. Then, after a few moments, “Are you nervous? I can walk you up there if you’d like! I could use the extra training anyway.” Then, to demonstrate, he flipped over and stood on his hands and gave Sekkachi a thumbs-up. She sighed, dropped her cigarette, and smudged it into the ground with her shoe.

                “I’ll see you later, Guy” she said, exasperated, then made her way up to the hokage’s office. She hesitated upon reaching the door, terrified, then burst inside, immediately taken aback. Standing at the window was none other than her childhood sensei, Chikara.

                “Hello, Sekkachi” she said with a lopsided grin. “So nice of you to finally join us.”

                “Yeah, I got caught up…rescuing a kitten…from a pond” the kunoichi lied. Her eyes skated to the other end of the room, where three ANBU stood. _Great, I bet they expect me to resist and brought the black ops in to handle things_. “So what is all this about, anyway? You might as well just get this over with.”  
                “Get what over with?” the hokage asked, smoke billowing from his pipe.

                Sekkachi blinked a few times. “You’re firing me…aren’t you?” The old man and Chikara burst out laughing.

                “Why the hell would we fire you?” Chikara asked. Sekkachi knew better than to answer. She didn’t want to give them any ideas that would change their minds. But if they weren’t firing her, then what was she there for?

                The hokage shuffled through some paperwork and then looked back at Sekkachi. “We have a very important mission that needs your help” he said.

                “Why me?” she asked.

                “Because” Chikara stepped up, “You have a specific skill set that would be best utilized in a mission like this. And besides, we already know how you work with the other members assigned.”

                Sekkachi’s stomach dropped as she slowly turned to look back at the ANBU members in the room. They had reorganized themselves so they were facing her in a row, removing their masks in unison to reveal themselves as none other than Rei Natsuki, Naru Fuzuki, and Kakashi Hatake. “You’ve got to be kidding me…”

                “It’ll be just like old times! Team Chikara back in action!” Naru exclaimed happily. Now Sekkachi wished she _had_ been fired.

                Turning back to the higher ups, she asked, “Why can’t the ANBU just handle this? Clearly they’ve got no use for me.”

                “That’s not entirely true” Chikara remarked. “You, as well as Rei and Naru, have been expertly trained in matters of espionage.” Chikara skirted around to the front of the hokage’s desk to face the others more closely, then explained, “We’ve had rumors circulating of an enemy nin hiding out in a local club. The other reason we need you for this mission is because you three girls are the only ones who know the location like the backs of your hands.”

                “Wait a second, you don’t mean…” Sekkachi started. Chikara nodded and interrupted her.

                “Yes, Club Loli.” Sekkachi threw her head back and groaned, slumping over as if she had just been stabbed in the chest. Kakashi blinked, unsure of what, exactly, was meant by all of this. He looked to the others for some sort of explanation but received nothing. Naru was, of course, overly excited and Rei simply looked tired. If he wanted any information on the significance of this place, he would have to step up and ask himself.

                “Why this club?” he inquired. “I mean, I know it’s where the enemy has been hiding out, but what’s so special about it?”

                Chikara then straightened her back and a confident smile touched her lips. “Club Loli is a dance club and bar often frequented by lonely men and bachelor parties. It’s the kind of place no self-respecting woman would ever step foot in, and that is why when my girls were young, I had them learn the art of deception there disguised as dancers. Nobody knows the ins and outs of this sleaze bucket quite so well as my girls.”

                “And here I was thinking I would never have to step foot in there again” Sekkachi groaned. “Next you’ll be telling us to break out the wigs and rave kimonos, too.”

                “Actually, yes, that’s exactly what I was about to say” Chikara beamed. She then went on to explain the details of the mission, that the enemy was likely a jonin from the Hidden Lock village who could very well be using the club as a front to gain intel from drunken, loose-lipped shinobi. Once she was finished explaining the parameters of their assignment, she then approached Kakashi and slapped him on the back amicably. “I assume you have a proper disguise for all of this?”

                “Yes, ma’am” he replied with a definitive nod. There was a twinkle in Chikara’s eye as she smiled starkly at him.

                “Good. I always knew you’d come prepared” she replied. She turned on her heels and headed back toward the hokage’s desk, winking at Rei as she went. The redhead glanced back at Kakashi and her face turned bright red, her fingers hovering over her mask as a crutch. The last thing she needed was for the unspoken past to come to light. Kakashi didn’t need to know any more than he already did about Rei’s behavior in her youth. It was bad enough he was going to finally meet Unagi.

                The flickering vanity lights and smell of hairspray in Club Loli’s dressing rooms catapulted the trio straight back to their teenage days, and that wasn’t entirely a good thing. Sekkachi fumbled with her kimono, complaining about how there was no way it was always this short. Once Naru’s wig had been fixed on her head, she frowned at her reflection and announced that black was such a terribly dismal hair color to have. As for Rei, her stage fright came roaring back—a sensation she had not missed in the slightest. She peered out at the crowd from behind the stage curtains, surveying the room of horny men. Sukea rustled his wavy brown hair and peered around the room as he snagged a seat right up front. It had been so long since she had seen him like this, but now she was terrified of what he would think of her. Things were different now than they were ten years ago. She watched him check the film in his camera and prayed he would not think any differently of his girlfriend once being introduced to this side of her—a side she was not entirely proud of.

                “You ready?” a voice then spoke from behind her. Rei turned to find Chikara transformed into her own alter ego, Tomiko Mabushi, complete with a snow white wig and pinstripe pantsuit. It was so bizarre seeing her like this, and quite frankly made her feel like a scared child again as if this was the first time she had ever performed. In a lot of ways, it felt very similar.

                Rei straightend her back and inhaled sharply, replying “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

                “Good!” Chikara exclaimed. “You’re all on in five minutes” she announced. “I’ll be at the bar in the back watching the entire time and guarding the doors there. Kakashi is up front so he can keep an eye on the doors to the left and right of the stage. Meanwhile, you three will scan the crowd while you dance and take note of anything suspicious, got it?” The three girls nodded and attempted to sound as confident in their reply as possible. And with that, Chikara told them all to break a leg (a phrase that Rei never was very fond of) and disappeared into the audience outside.

                As the girls strapped their heels on, Sekkachi slapped Rei on the back and said bluntly, “I hope you know if you puke on me out there, I’m going to kill you.”

                “Come on, Sekkachi!” Naru shouted in Rei’s defense. “It was one time!” She stood up and walked after the now watermelon-haired kunoichi as she prepared to take the stage.

                Defeated, Rei struggled to regain what little composure she had left, then chased after them shouting, “Don’t say that or else you’ll jinx me, you bitch!”

                Kakashi fumbled with his camera as he caught sight of Chikara sneak out of the back room and make her way to the bar. She locked eyes with him for a split second, sending a brief wink as if to indicate it was show time. If he hadn’t seen her disguise beforehand, he honestly never would’ve recognized her. It made him wonder how drastic a transformation the rest of the girls had underwent. He inserted a new roll of film and slid the lanyard back over his neck, settling the camera into his hands so he was fully prepared. As the first few electronic beats blared over the speakers, a man slid into the seat next to him.

                “I hope I haven’t missed anything” a voice laughed, unsettlingly familiar. Kakashi glanced out of the corner of his eye to find the toad sage, one of the legendary sannin, Jiraiya himself, with a drink in his hand rearing up for the night’s performance. _Shit._

The last thing he needed was Jiraiya blowing his cover and distracting him from the job at hand. He didn’t even want to consider the man potentially ogling at his girlfriend.

                As the sannin took another taste of his drink, he cocked his head at the disguised Kakashi and asked, “By the way, have we met before? You seem familiar.”

                “Uh…” he hesitated. “I doubt we have. I’m a travelling journalist. I don’t stay in one place for too long.”

                “Ah…” Jiraiya replied, though something in his tone indicated he was not entirely convinced. “What’s your name? Have you written anything I may have read?”

                “Sukea” Kakashi answered, then added, “And I’m not sure. I don’t really stick with one publisher…”

                “I only ask because I’m a writer myself!” Jiraiya laughed. “Have you ever heard of a little series called Makeout Paradise?” Oh god. It took all of Kakashi’s strength to contain himself. He nodded slowly, unable to even look the man in the eyes now. “You know, you actually remind me a bit of the main character! He was a journalist, too.” This was way too much. If he didn’t change the subject soon, Kakashi was going to explode. He reached for his own drink and took a sip, hoping it would help quell his panic. “So what are you doing in a place like this anyway? A little _scoping_ out of the ladies?” Kakashi nervously chuckled, unsure of how to answer.

                A spotlight landed on the turntable on the right side of the stage, highlighting a stout man with sunglasses and a goatee. He introduced himself as DJ Sashimi, hyped up the crowd, and then announced “It is my pleasure to welcome back a rare treat: Club Loli’s very own Tomiko Trio!” Then the curtain lifted, [a revamped 8-bit tune began to play](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB1cOyppI8g), and three girls stood in robotic formation at the back of the stage. A spotlight fell on each as they came to life at the introduction of their name: first Shitagi to the left, a tall, dark-skinned girl with piercings and bright pink and green hair. Then Usagi to the right, lean and lively with long black pigtails and a bubblegum smile. Then finally in the center was Unagi, the shortest of the three with a blonde bob and purple face paint.

                Jiraiya grinned. “I haven’t seen these girls in years!” he announced, leaning forward to get a better view. “They’ve really come into their own, if you know what I mean” he added, nudging Kakashi scandalously.

                The copy ninja followed his line of sight straight to Usagi’s breasts. If this mission wasn’t so damn important, he would’ve slapped the sannin for having made such comments. Deep down, though, he hated that he couldn’t take his eyes off her, either. He watched as she swiveled her hips and sang along to the dubstep vocals, a sensuous smile on her face all the while. _Is this what she was doing all that time?_ he thought to himself, thinking back to the days when they didn’t speak. He had no idea she was a sufficient performer, especially of this, uh… _genre._ When the routine reached a martial arts interjection near the end, he couldn’t help but laugh to himself. It only seemed appropriate. He cleared his throat as the song ended and commented, “The nunchuks were a surprise.”

                Jiraiya took another sip of his drink and replied, “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say they’d make decent ninjas.” Oh, if only he knew.

Rei and Kakashi locked eyes every so often during her performance, something Jiraiya unfortunately picked up on. When Kakashi turned around, he saw the sannin making a face. “W-what?” the copy ninja asked.

                “I think she likes you, Sukea” he laughed. As he took another drink, he then added, “I wonder how much it would take to bring one of them home. I bet they’re great kissers! Dancers usually are. They really know how to move, you know?”

                Kakashi/Sukea nodded slowly, trying to remain focused on the mission at hand. He snapped a few pictures just to save face, though deep down a part of him hoped at least one of them may have caught something he hadn’t seen on his own. If he used his sharingan, his whole cover would be blown, even if he was wearing colored contacts. As he snapped, however, Jiraiya also noticed the camera’s viewfinder landing on the blonde most frequently. He grinned as if he was watching one of his books unfold right before his eyes.

                As the song changed, five more dancers stepped out onto the stage, likely regulars based on Jiraiya’s reaction. He described each of them to Sukea in great detail, mainly based on bodily assets, but he wasn’t really listening. More dancers meant more distraction, and he knew this would be the perfect time for an enemy nin to pull something. He watched intently, eyes constantly shifting between both back doors, trying to maintain composure. When the song ended and nothing happened, however, he sunk back into his chair and exhaled sharply. One of the regulars slid across the stage on her knees right to Jiraiya, exchanging words as if they were old friends. The two disappeared soon after, much to Kakashi’s relief. Now that the sannin was gone, he could focus on his mission completely. Or at least that’s what he thought. [The beginnings of a new song blared on the speakers](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-zHm77FkW3U), the first lines establishing something about a hentai girl. And in the center of the stage was Rei, right in the spotlight, staring directly at Kakashi.

                Suddenly his scarf felt tighter than normal, and the room was much hotter than he expected. He cleared his throat and leaned forward, gripping his camera tightly, as she walked to the front of the stage and crouched down in front of him, mouthing the words of the giggling girl on the soundtrack. When the beat dropped, she hopped up and began her routine, complete with ample ass-shaking and complicated foot work. The entire time she danced, she never took her eyes off Kakashi. And quite frankly, he couldn’t keep his eyes off her, either. The lyrics pounded in his head as he stared at her dumbstruck, his face turning bright red. _I want a hentai girl for me to make me happy, I watch her so I can stop using my hand every single day while watching anime._

This was just too much. Kakashi was losing his damn mind. Now was perhaps the worst time to become turned on, and yet here he was. Her smile, that god-awful wink she gave him, the way her body moved with the quick beat. It was like she was taunting him on purpose. And she probably was. The likelihood of her taking advantage of a situation like this was very high, and Kakashi knew this, yet he couldn’t even bring himself to protest. All he could think about was her.

                Then the song changed yet again, and all the magic began to melt away. From the bar, Chikara caught sight of some strange movement near the back left door—glimpsing an unfamiliar face. She caught DJ Sashimi’s eye, making an urgent signal with her hand. [The first lines of the warning song began to play](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y_fX5OvRnyU): _We live on our own set of rules, take everything and everyone down with you_. Rei, Naru, and Sekkachi exchanged glances, knowing this was it. They locked eyes with Chikara who motioned toward the back left door. The entire club erupted in electronic chaos.

                The trio ripped weapons from the garters high on their thighs, Naru and Sekkachi leaping down to apprehend the enemy. Meanwhile, Rei slid across the stage nearly landing in Kakashi’s lap, shouting for him to duck as she launched her foot at an enemy lurking just behind. When the copy ninja popped back up, gasping for breath, Rei patted him on the shoulder and called over the music, “Get your head in the game, Hatake! We’ve got one chance!” He nodded definitively, reaching for the kunai in his trench coat and joined the rest in the fray.

                There was their target jonin from the Hidden Lock, plus six accomplices. They were slightly short-staffed, but it was nothing they couldn’t handle. Chikara used the bottles of alcohol at the bar to her advantage, flinging shards of broken glass at the enemies with impeccable aim. She knew exactly the right blood vessels to shoot for.

                Naru was a master of deception. She crawled beneath tables, weeping and panting as if she had no idea what was going on or what to do about it. As Sekkachi swung at one of the enemies, he nearly backed up and tripped over Naru, who gazed at him with wide, fearful eyes. He knelt down, a sly look of hunger on his face. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing in a mess like this?” he asked.

                “I don’t know where the others went! I’m not supposed to be here!” she cried. She frantically searched the room, looking for any of the regulars in the fray. Luckily, they had all already escaped.

                The man grinned deviously, lifting her up. “Then you’re coming with me!” he announced, reaching around for her ass. As he did, she kneed him in the crotch and he went down. One of his comrades snuck up behind her then, lifting her up from behind. She used the momentum to flip him over and then kicked him squarely in the head. As yet another approached from behind, she whipped around and without a second of hesitation, launched a single poison senbon needle from beneath her sleeve straight for his heart. He fell over in an instant, vomit trickling down his chin as he struggled to breathe.

                “Good work” Sekkachi complimented, sliding up beside her. Naru smirked at her before they rushed off to apprehend the others.

                Rei and Kakashi worked alongside one another in near perfect unison, her charging whatever she could get her hands on with her own chakra for a more powerful blow while Kakashi rushed in from behind with his chidori flaring. As he hit one enemy, another ran up from behind and swung at Rei, who ducked just in the nick of time and nearly fell over.

                “Rei!” Kakashi called. He watched as she used her low level to her best advantage, swinging her leg around to knock the enemy off balance. He tumbled to the floor, coughing from the impact, as Rei swung around to knee him in the back and pin him down. A small smile touched Kakashi’s lips just watching her.

                “Kakashi, watch out!” she then shouted, her face filled with panic. He heard footsteps pounding from behind, and ducked just in time for the enemy to flip over him. He may have missed Kakashi, but he launched himself straight at Rei, kicking her in the stomach and setting his comrade free. Kakashi growled, barreling toward both of them with kunai in each hand, and sliced deep across their flesh simultaneously. They both fell to the ground, gravely injured but still alive. After all, they needed to turn someone in for questioning.

                Naru, Sekkachi, and Chikara raced to the couple’s aid, having killed all but one of the other enemies. The head of the operation sat bloody and bruised on the club floor, head hanging low and hands and feet bound so he would have no chance of escape. The trio quickly began binding the other two men as Kakashi raced to Rei’s side, crumpled on the floor gasping for breath.

                “Rei, are you alright?” he asked, kneeling beside her. A gentle hand rested on her back. Her face was pale, and she had a massive bruise forming on her cheek from the day’s battle, but other than that she seemed in alright condition. She gripped Kakashi’s forearm tight as she struggled to breathe, having had the wind knocked out of her, clutching her stomach with her other hand. And then, with a tiny grunt, she bent forward and vomited on the floor. Sekkachi cringed from the other end of the room. Kakashi stayed beside her, rubbing her back, until she had finished and fell against him gasping for breath. “Are you okay?” he asked again.

                Rei nodded tiredly, then turned with narrowed eyes to Sekkachi and croaked, “I told you you’d jinx me!”

                Sekkachi took a few steps back and raised her hands in surrender. “Hey, I’m just happy it wasn’t on me this time.” Then, turning to Kakashi, she pointed at his coat and replied, “That’s going to be hell to wash out, you know.” He looked down to find a small spot of puke on the front, but it was quite frankly the least of his worries.

                The squad quickly hauled the enemies off, reporting to the hokage once they were all in custody. Lord Third commended them on their excellent teamwork, hoping that now they would be able to squeeze some sort of explanation out of the criminals. Once dismissed, however, Sekkachi hung back a moment to take advantage of the last bit of adrenaline from their mission. Her heart sank as she watched her comrades step out into the hallway, recently shed of their disguises. This was likely the last time they would all be together. She turned to look back at the hokage, a question rising in her throat that she knew she would never ask.

                “I’m sorry, Sekkachi” the hokage said, as if reading her mind. “You know we’ve talked about this.” And they had. God, they had. She knew she would never be good enough, but it was no help. Her heart ached for recognition, for success. The weight of her family’s reputation and her own dignity rested on this, a dream she would never be good enough to achieve. She tried to ignore the gnarling ache in her limbs, the constant churning of her stomach.

                Outside, Kakashi slowly descended the stairs with Rei leaning on him for support. “That asshole hit me hard” she muttered, rubbing her stomach. She still felt slightly queasy, but it was nothing she couldn’t handle.

                Kakashi rubbed her shoulder and nodded, but his mind was elsewhere. He had learned so much today, and seen a completely different side of his girlfriend he never could’ve imagined existed. He still couldn’t get the image of her on that stage out of his head. Clearing his throat, he then said, “I never knew you could dance like that.”

                Rei scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Thank Chikara-sensei for that. She was a trained dancer herself as a kid, you know. Gave it up to become a ninja. She drilled it into us at a young age, though, that dance was like fighting. There’s a similar choreography in it. It teaches you agility, discipline, spatial awareness, and how to hone your focus in. Plus it’s a great cover, apparently” she explained. Kakashi chuckled, his cheeks beginning to redden, and it was then that Rei noticed there was something more to this than just being impressed. “Why?” she asked. “Did you like what you saw?” she nudged him in the shoulder playfully.

                “Well, I mean…” he stammered. “I was just impressed. It was a talent I didn’t know you had.”

                “You’re so turned on right now, aren’t you?” she asked, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Kakashi averted his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. “Even though I got puke on you?”

                “It will wash out” he commented. “I’m just glad you’re alright. I wasn’t impressed with just the dancing, you know. You really fought hard today.”

                “Yeah, you think so?” she replied. “Or are you just saying that because you had to see me puke?”

                “No, I mean it” he replied. “I was very impressed. I’ve never seen you fight like that before. It makes me feel much safer knowing now that I can definitely trust you to hold your own and take care of yourself. I’m sorry I ever doubted you before.”

                A proud smile fought its way onto Rei’s lips. Finally she had proven her worth. She hoped that Kakashi would calm down about her capability now. Their argument from before still hung ever so vaguely over their heads. Perhaps now he finally understood, however, just how hard she had worked over the years. After all, everything she had accomplished had all been out of spite toward him. It was only fair that he fall before her in awe at her ability, wasn’t it? As they walked home, she could hardly keep the smile off her face as victory overwhelmed her. She had won him over even more, and in more ways than one.  


	33. Better than Instant Ramen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the video for the recipe Rei and Kakashi make together! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HANC-rO8yEU&t=15s

                Kakashi was determined to make this a perfect night. He and Rei had been busy with their work, so much so that they had hardly seen each other for weeks. Whenever he did catch sight of her, she looked absolutely exhausted. Her hair was even messier than usual, she dragged her feet, and there were dark circles under her eyes. He left a bag of pastries at her doorstep, per usual, with an invitation slapped on the bag: _My apartment. Dinner. Friday night. 6pm._ It was obviously an offer she couldn’t possibly refuse.

                 He spent the entire afternoon preparing dinner, so that his apartment by now smelled incredible. He pulled back the curtains so that there was a stunning view of the stars overhead, and even cracked the window open to let in some fresh air. He lit a few candles, then began tidying the books on his shelf when she knocked on the door.

                She looked exhausted but had a huge grin on her face as she leapt into his arms and hugged him tightly. “God, I’ve missed you” she sighed into his chest. He hugged her back just as tightly, then ushered her inside. “It smells incredible in here” she commented, surveying the room. He was clearly aiming to achieve a romantic aura, and quite frankly she would say he succeeded. She kicked off her shoes and approached the kitchen, eager to peek in the oven and see what he was cooking. Before she could catch a glance, though, Kakashi slid in front of her and blocked her view.

                “Why would you want to go and ruin the surprise?” he asked. He placed his hands on her shoulders, spun her around, and guided her to the table. She sat in the nearest chair, looking up at him with a playful pout as if she was a child who was just reprimanded. “Relax. You look exhausted, so tonight I’m going to treat you.”

                “What about you?” she asked as he made his way back to the kitchen. “You’ve been working your ass off, too. Aren’t you tired?”

                “Yes” he answered, then added, “But I’ve been doing this far longer than you have. I’ve gotten used to it.” The timer dinged, and Rei attempted to take a peek at whatever Kakashi was pulling out of the oven but he effectively blocked her view. Defeated, she leaned back in her chair and sighed as she awaited dinner. After a few minutes, Kakashi set down two platters of fish and a bottle of sake. He gave Rei that signature masked smile as he sat down across from her, and with locked eyes they ceremoniously chanted _Itadaakimasu._

                Rei closed her eyes and smiled as she took that first bite of food. She remembered Kakashi being a skilled chef as far back as their childhood, but it was starkly different experiencing the food firsthand after so many years. His skill had drastically improved. “This is so much better than instant ramen every night” she sighed.

                Kakashi swallowed his bite, then asked, “You eat instant ramen every night?” Rei shrugged a casual yes. “But don’t you cook at all?”

                “I mean, on days off sometimes I’ll make an omelet or rice or something if I care enough but most days…” she started, then groaned and shook her head. “Cooking is too much work. Why waste my energy when my microwave can literally give me dehydrated noodles in a cup in a matter of minutes?”

                “You know you can’t live off of instant ramen for the rest of your life, right?” Kakashi asked.

                Rei shrugged. “Lots of people do it. Like that little menace who always splatters paint on Hokage Rock. I’m sure he eats exclusively ramen. I see him at Ichiraku all the time.”

                “You see my point” Kakashi replied.

                “Okay, well what do you expect me to do?” Rei asked. “ _Actually_ cook?”

                “That’s what everyone else does” Kakashi countered.

                A sly smile touched Rei’s lips as she looked down at her plate and picked apart another piece of fish. “I mean, you could just cook for me for the rest of your life” she chuckled.

                “And what about when I’m gone?” he asked. “What are you going to do then?”

                Rei then raised her chopsticks high above her head in a terrible sense of triumph and shouted, “Instant ramen!”

                Kakashi rubbed his forehead in distress, but he was chuckling all the while. “You’re a lost cause, you know that?” he said. Rei simply shrugged and took another bite of her food, but deep down something within Kakashi was taking root. Hadn’t her parents taught her anything? Knowing Hana and Yuruganai, the chances were slim. As much as Hana yearned for her daughter to become a housewife and mother, she also yearned for her daughter to stay put for as long as possible. From what he had seen, he was certain she babied Rei in terms of housework for ages just to keep her trapped there. It was simply’s a mother desperation, even if it was harmful in the end. He hated to think he would have to teach her everything, but he knew there was at least one thing he could take the responsibility of.

                Come midnight, Rei decided she ought to head back to her apartment but not without a goodnight kiss first. “This was really great. We should definitely do this again” she sighed, foreheads pressed together. Kakashi smiled.

                “How about next week?” he offered. She furrowed her brow a moment, calculating what she knew so far of her work schedule, then grinned up at him and accepted the offer. He smiled back. “Then it’s a date.”

                Rei arrived right on time the following Friday night, exhausted and fully prepared to sit back and just enjoy another great meal with her boyfriend. When she entered his apartment, however, there was no incredible fragrance, and nothing in the oven. Rather, there was an array of raw food set out across the countertop and a frying pan on the stove. “Uh…are we having sushi or something?” Rei asked. Kakashi chuckled and shook his head.

                “Nope” he replied, guiding her into the kitchen.

                “I thought you were having me over for dinner” she said, trying to mask her disappointment.

                Kakashi grinned underneath his mask. “I am, but this time you’re cooking it!”

                Rei’s face fell. “K-Kakashi, but I don’t know how—” she stammered, but the copy ninja lifted a finger to quiet her and interrupted.

                “That’s why I’m going to teach you” he said.

                The redhead slumped her shoulders and groaned. “But why? This is so much work!”

                “Rei” he replied sternly, “Learning to cook is essential to living on your own. You’re going to have to learn sooner or later.”

                Crossing her arms, she pouted and averted her eyes from him, muttering, “I can’t believe you’d deceive me like this.”

                Kakashi, however, just chuckled and pulled her closer so that she was squarely in front of the counter. “Step one is preparation. I’m going to need you to cut up all of these vegetables” he explained, holding up a knife. Before her sat carrots, cabbage, and a large onion, most of which she couldn’t even begin to comprehend how to cut because they were all round. When Kakashi noticed the hesitance on her face, however, he wedged the knife into her hands and then slid in behind her so that he could guide her through the motions.

                Rei of course did her fair share of complaining the entire time, saying this was far too much work and asking why they couldn’t just go out to eat (“Restaurants are expensive, you can’t eat out every night” he’d argue, to which Rei would counter with “That’s why some nights there’s instant ramen!”), but Kakashi refused to let her quit. He guided her through all the steps, warned her about the stove dials and how she didn’t need to turn it up quite so high, and showed her how to mix everything in the pan so it would all cook evenly.

                By the time 8pm rolled around, Rei was so sick and tired of this. The kitchen was hot and she was tired and this was taking way too long. Kakashi watched from afar for a while, then stepped up and tested the food for completion. Once he was sure everything was cooked thoroughly, he smiled down at her and announced, “You’re all finished.” He flicked off the stove, moved the frying pan to a cool burner, and grabbed a bowl for each of them.

                “It’s probably going to taste like shit. It’s probably going to kill you. I wouldn’t even try it, honestly” Rei complained as Kakashi divided the portions among their bowls. He handed her a pair of chopsticks and followed her to the table. “You know, we should just get up and go to Ichiraku right now so we can avoid the food poisoning we’re definitely going to get.”

                “Don’t be so cynical” Kakashi told her. “I’m sure it’ll taste fine! Besides, I was right beside you the whole time. I wouldn’t let you feed me anything that would kill me.” Rei rolled her eyes and laughed mockingly, angrily grabbing a wad of pork and vegetables with her chopsticks and shoving it in her mouth. She paused a moment, and Kakashi looked at her anxiously. “Well?” he asked. She looked at him with wide eyes, as if she was taken aback, finished chewing and then swallowed. A smile tugged at his lips—he could tell she liked what she had made.

                Rei shrugged and poked at the rest of her food. “Well, I mean, it’s _alright_. It’s not, like, mind-blowingly delicious or anything, but like…it’s stir fry. It’s, you know…it’s fine” she replied nonchalantly. Kakashi could tell she was struggling to keep the smile off her face.

                Kakashi chuckled. “You like it, don’t you?” he asked. The redhead fed him a death glare as she angrily shoved another chopstick-full into her mouth.

                “Don’t expect me to make a habit of this!” she protested. “It’d be fine for a once in a while thing, I guess. You know, if I’m feeling energetic or whatever.” Smiling, Kakashi pulled down his mask and planted a quick kiss on her cheek. Rei’s face turned bright red. “What was that for?”

                “Nothing in particular” Kakashi replied. “I’m just proud of you. You did a good job for your first time.”

                “You really think so?” Rei asked.

                The copy ninja nodded. “I’m not dead, am I?” he joked.

                “Fair point” Rei replied. They sat together eating their stir fry in comfortable silence, watching the stars twinkle through the open window. A soft, cool breeze blew into the apartment, fluttering the curtains and brushing against their faces. A dog barked down the street. Everything was good.


	34. Don't Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't go, I can't do this on my own  
> Don't go, I can't do this on my own  
> Save me from the ones that haunt me in the night  
> I can't live with myself, so stay with me tonight  
> Don't go, don't go.   
> -Don't Go, Bring Me the Horizon   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_NFzDSudw10

                Desolation. Nothing but darkness and despair. Kakashi blinked awake, something heavy weighing on his chest. Dust filled the air. He coughed into his elbow. Forcing himself up, he scanned his surroundings. He couldn’t remember anything. Where was he? What was he doing? Nothing looked familiar. As he stood, he strained his eyes to focus on something strange off in the distance. A figure, apparently a child. It took all of five seconds for him to realize it was himself, but younger. And standing before him was Rin.

                A lump rose in his throat, burning. He tried to run forward but was paralyzed. He watched his fist pierce the girl’s chest in slow motion, her gasp and her cough of blood. The lightning circulating around them. Electric.

                _Kakashi…Kakashi…Kakashi_.

                “N-no…not again…I can’t do this again…” the adult Kakashi muttered to himself. He tried to raise his hands up to cover his eyes, avoid it, but his arms refused to move. He was trapped. Suddenly, a hot breath panted against the back of his neck.

                “Look what you’ve done” a familiar voice growled. “Look at the disaster you’ve created. Friend killer…”

                “St-stop it!” Kakashi shouted. A rush of ice ran down his spine.

                “You lost Obito. You killed Rin. You broke your promise to Rei” the voice taunted. The Copy Ninja’s heart was racing, he felt like he was going to throw up. “Failure. You’re such a failure. You can’t do anything right!” A shriek of maniacal laughter, and then a jolt of force kicking him to the ground. Before him lay Rin’s dead body, just as he remembered her. Wide, lifeless eyes and gaping mouth and a massive hole in her chest. He looked down and his hands were covered in blood.

                “R-Rin…Rin!” he screamed, scrambling to cradle her body in his arms but the moment he touched her, her form turned to ash and she was gone. He panicked, desperate to recover her, but it was no use. The figure behind him crouched down and seized his body, and Kakashi was somehow defenseless.

                “You have never done anything right” it hissed. “You break every promise you make. You couldn’t protect Rin, and you can’t protect her, either!” A cold hand gripped his chin and forced him to turn his head. Men in nondescript black cloaks surrounded a masked woman in shackles, her body bloodied and bruised. One of her captors kicked her in the face, sending her mask tumbling to the ground with a crack. She coughed, a trickle of blood dripping down her bottom lip, and gazed up at Kakashi with desperate eyes. _Rei._

Mustering all his strength, Kakashi surged forward and fought to free her. He struggled with the cloaked men before taking each of them out, then breaking Rei’s chains and pulling her close into his arms. She was all he had, his safety net. His rock. She was the last bit of hope he had left. He could not let anything happen to her. He could not let her go. As quickly as he had embraced her, though, she buried her face in his chest and cried out in pain. A crackle of lightning surrounded them, surrounded her, her body suffering.

                “R-Rei? No!” he shouted, but it would not stop. He could not stop. Tears ran down her cheeks as she struggled to breathe, her eyes glazing over until she slumped into his lap lifeless. “Rei, no, come on, you’re fine. Look at me. You’re fine” he begged but received no response.

                “Such a shame…she loved you so much, too. If only you could’ve loved her back just as much” the voice taunted. But that wasn’t true, Kakashi knew that wasn’t true. He loved Rei more than anything. She meant the world to him. She was the most important person in his life. She was the only person left. He would die before he let anything happen to her, and yet here he was hugging her lifeless body and crying for her to wake up. Running his fingers through her hair and caressing her cheek with his thumb and pressing his lips to hers as if this was some cheap, childish fairytale and a kiss was all it took to break the spell. No use. There was nothing he could do. Rei was dead, just like everyone else.

                A burst of something sinister rose up from within the depths of his chest, something the likes of revenge except he again was paralyzed and therefore could not act upon it. All he could do was sit there and cry over the love of his life’s dead body. His last hope. His only hope. His past and his future and everything in between. Gone.

                _Kakashi…Kakashi…Kakashi…_

He could hear her voice in his head, and even Rin’s and Obito’s, as well. A sickening symphony of hatred and heartbreak, disgust and disappointment. He couldn’t take it. This was torture. He just wanted everything to end.

                “Kakashi! Kakashi!”

                Blackness. A hand pressed to his forearm. And then he felt a mass hover over him, his hot breath beating against her chest. She turned on the light and everything was as it was. “Kakashi, you’re sweating…” Rei commented, cupping his cheek as he forced himself upright. He rubbed his face and groaned, looked around the room to ensure everything was truly in order. Then he looked at her, and a sob caught in his throat. She was here, and she was fine. He touched her face, her arm, pressed his forehead against hers and huffed an exhausted sigh. “K-Kakashi, what’s wrong?” she asked, her voice so soft as if she feared anything louder would shatter him.

                “N-nothing” he lied, constantly feeling her as he tried to steady his breathing. “Just…just a nightmare.” Rei had never seen him this distraught before. She was almost tempted to ask him what he saw but she restrained herself. She didn’t want to force him to relive something clearly so torturous. Kakashi wrapped his arms around her tightly and buried his face in the crook of her neck, his forehead sweaty and his breath uneven. “Just please…stay with me…d-don’t leave…”

                “I-I wasn’t planning to…” she whispered, petting his hair and holding him close.

                “Promise me...promise me you won’t leave me” he begged.

                Rei tightened her embrace slightly, resting her head against his. “I promise.”

                No matter how many years had passed, there was still an immeasurable amount of darkness circulating within Kakashi’s soul. Despite the hokage’s mission, things only improved for a short while. The deeper Kakashi fell in love with this girl, his childhood companion, the darker his mind seemed to become. He was filled with new purpose. He was willing to do anything to ensure no harm would befall her, even if it meant killing the enemy with zero hesitation.  

                Besides Rei and those he had befriended in the ANBU, Kakashi barely spent any time with the others. Guy, Kurenai, Asuma, they all watched him live his life as if looking through a window: distant and closed off. Of course, Guy would break in once in a while—literally—and challenge his eternal rival but there was always something amiss. Kakashi was distant, distracted, cold. There was really only one thing they all knew they could manage. They stepped foot in the hokage’s office together, a seriousness on their faces. Lord Third knew instantly that they were here to conduct important business.

                It had been almost a week and Rei had hardly seen Kakashi, even in passing in the halls. She was beginning to grow nervous. She knocked on his door, but there was no answer. Perhaps he was just busy on a mission, she wasn’t sure. She snuck down the halls to Naru’s apartment for assurance.

                “That does seem weird” she said thoughtfully as Rei finished her ramble. “And come to think of it, I haven’t really seen him around much, either.”

                “Maybe you finally drove him away with that ratty hair and god-awful scar” a voice called from the doorway. Rei never understood why Naru liked leaving her door open. _It shows I’m a friendly and welcome neighbor!_ she would insist. If anything, it just attracted unwanted attention. And leaning in the doorway now was the epitome of unwanted attention. Tenshi peered inside with a satisfied smirk on her face, arms crossed about her hefty chest.

                “Would you get out of here?!” Rei shouted, throwing one of Naru’s bedazzled bed pillows at her. Tenshi caught it without a moment’s hesitation, inspecting it then tucking it under her arm.

                “I’m assuming I can keep this, right?” she asked, though they both knew she wasn’t looking for them to answer. Naru rolled her eyes, leaping up and stealing her pillow back. “Hmm, guess not.”

                “Tenshi, is there a reason you’re here or do you just have nothing better to do?” Naru asked.

                The brunette shrugged and inspected her manicured nails boredly. “I just heard some commotion and wanted to come see what all the fuss was about. You know how I’m just drawn to drama!”

                Rei never thought she would ever admit it, but the way she owned up to it seemed only appropriate. With a sigh, she asked, “Have you seen Kakashi around lately?”

                Tenshi pouted as she thought for a moment, then shrugged. “No. Why? Should we file a missing persons report or something?”

                “This is serious, asshole” Rei fired back. “I’m really worried about him.”

                “Why?” Tenshi asked dumbly. “Because you know no one else would have the guts to sleep with you?” By now, Rei was furious. It took all of Naru’s strength to hold her back from attacking at full force. Naru swung her leg around to slam the door in Tenshi’s face, eliciting an offended gasp loud enough for them to hear even from the hallway.

                “Rei, I love you, but you need to calm down” Naru insisted. “Why do you let her get to you?”

                “I don’t let her do anything” Rei snapped. Naru watched her begin pacing the room back and forth as if she was watching a tennis match.

                “You’re going to make me dizzy” she said. “I know you’re nervous, but I’m sure everything is fine! Kakashi’s a stellar ninja, the hokage probably just has him running a bunch of missions or whatever. I wouldn’t worry so much.”

                “But that’s the thing” Rei started. “What if that’s not the case? What if he’s perfectly unoccupied and he just doesn’t want to see me anymore? And if that is the case, then have the past two years meant absolutely nothing to him?”

                Naru shook her head. “Kakashi loves you, I can tell. He looks at you like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him, I’m sure he wouldn’t just up and leave you. You know who I bet would know what’s up with him? Tenzo. I mean, they’re on the same team. They see each other all the time.” Before Rei could protest, Naru had gripped her wrist and skipped down the hall to Tenzo’s apartment, knocking musically. He opened the door, looking very tired, and ushered them inside.

                “Kakashi?” he asked, rubbing his eyes. He must have been napping or something. It was midday, but perhaps he was working late. “Yeah, apparently the hokage wanted to have a word with him a few days ago. He swung by the locker room later on and cleaned out his stuff. I think he left.”

                Those words sliced deep through Rei’s chest. _Kakashi left._ After everything, he was gone. She broke free of Naru’s grasp and ran down the hall, knocking frantically on his door. When there was yet again no answer, she screamed and pounded her fists against the wall before ultimately breaking down the door herself. The entire apartment was empty and spotless. Kakashi was really gone.

                She did not want to have a breakdown, and yet she couldn’t comprehend anything that was happening. Her breathing picked up, her chest tight, and she fell to her knees. What did this mean for him? For her? For them? Was it something she had done? Did she drive him away? And if she had, what did that mean for everything they had already been through? Did it really mean nothing to him? The thoughts clogged her brain, her vision growing hazy. The clacking of footsteps echoed down the hallway, then a dark chuckle.

                “So I heard Kakashi left” Tenshi replied. “What did you do, Rei? Did he really get that sick of seeing you all the time?”

                With gritted teeth, Rei clenched her fist, then leapt up, swung around, and struck Tenshi right in the face. The brunette cried out, grasping her reddened cheek, then glared back at her opponent. Rei stared at her without a single shred of remorse.

                When she finally returned to her apartment, she felt dizzy and nauseous. Things would never be the same again. She wiped the sweat from her forehead, opened a window, tried to regain her breathing. When that still didn’t help cool her down, she frantically ripped off her shirt, then grabbed a little yellow barette from her small collection of jewelry and pinned her bangs back like when she was a kid. In her reflection, she saw her ANBU tattoo and the scars lining her forearms. She traced the tattoo with her index finger, remembering the day she joined the black ops. That symbol, that swirling little design, meant so much more than just ANBU. It stood for strength, for perseverance, and more than anything for the reunion of her and her Kakashi. But what did that mean now? He was gone. She didn’t know where he went, or what he was doing, if he even still cared for her at this point. He had begged her to never leave him, that night when he awoke in a sweat, yet he was the one who ended up leaving her. She thought he needed her. She was dutiful to him. She was meant to look after him. The hokage had commanded her to do so, and her heart agreed fully.

                Rei reached for the kanzashi on her desk, itching to cut again, but paused just as the sharp tip hovered over her skin. Something in her lurched, and she threw the hair pin across the room, buried her face in her hands, and broke down.


	35. Kakashi Sensei

                Might Guy, Asuma Sarutobi, and Kurenai Yuhi slid into a booth at the dumpling shop, an air of uncertainty hanging over them. They submitted their orders, then sat silently for a moment deliberating. It was Kurenai who finally broke the silence.

                “We did the right thing, didn’t we?” she asked. The other day, confronting the hokage, still weighed heavy on all of their minds. Lord Third listened intently, taking their request so seriously that he removed Kakashi from the black ops. They had all seen the darkness within him that did not subside, they knew where he would end up should he continue down this path, and yet they knew not where he was to go now. Perhaps cutting ties with the black ops would give him the chance to finally reflect and recreate himself, someone different from the man who killed his best friend.

                Guy slammed his drink down and looked Kurenai in the eyes. “There was no other choice” he replied, not unkindly. “Kakashi can’t keep doing this and getting away with it. As his eternal rival, I have a responsibility to make sure he’s doing just fine and I think we did the best thing we could for him to ensure that.”

                “Guy has a point” Asuma chimed in. “I don’t think it’s my place to tell other people how to live their lives, but I don’t like sitting around watching someone suffer, either. Sooner or later, he was bound to become a liability to himself.” As the son of the third hokage, Asuma had already had a fair idea of what his father intended to do with the copy ninja. Lord Third’s original plan had failed. Rei remained steadfast and true during their years in the black ops together, but if anything her presence made Kakashi grow darker. He needed something to replenish his purpose, something positive and constructive. He needed to become a teacher.

                Kakashi was still reeling from the news. Him, a jonin leader? It felt completely left-field. He wasn’t even sure he liked kids that much to begin with, let alone teach them. What would his students be like? Would they have what it takes to even survive in this line of work? He needed to organize his teaching methods, figure out how he was going to go about this. All he knew for sure was that the most important thing to drill into their bratty little brains was teamwork.

                When the day arrived, Kakashi almost didn’t think he could force himself out of bed. He showed up to the academy and a wave of nostalgia struck him squarely in the face. It had been so long since he traversed those hallways, stepped foot in those classrooms. He was assigned a team of three boys, all of which had the look of sly, self-interested pains in the ass. His faith in this whole endeavor was seriously wavering.

                He administered the bell test, just as Minato sensei had done when he was young. The three of them fought tooth and nail, but not with one another. They were determined, but cocky and haphazard. It was when they all whipped out their kunai and turned their backs on each other that Kakashi intervened. “You all fail.”

                As he returned to his new apartment that evening, tired and wiped out, he considered whether or not the hokage had made a mistake. He wasn’t cut out for this. He didn’t want to do this. These kids knew nothing of teamwork and discipline. His body ached not with physical pain but with something deeper, and soon he found himself making a detour and passing down an old route.

                Rei rearranged the books on her shelf, organizing them by size and color and title—anything to get her mind off of the way things were. As she worked, however, there was a knock at the door. She expected Naru, who had been down the hall in her own apartment earlier trying something new with her hair that Rei was sure would turn out disastrous. “I told you not to turn that flat iron up so high, how much hair did you burn?” she called as she stood up from the floor and approached the door. Swinging it open, however, she was met not with Naru but with Kakashi.

                The moment she laid eyes on him, she was overwhelmed with fifteen different emotions. She wanted to break down in tears, hug him, kiss him, hit him, turn him away. She erased the shock from her face as quicky as she could, replacing it with something cavalier and cold, and asked bluntly, “What do you want?”

                More than anything, he looked tired. He rubbed his face, sighed, and replied, “Can we talk?” She chewed her bottom lip and considered the offer, unsure if she wanted to even let him inside. His heart pounded in his chest as he awaited her answer. He could tell she had erected a thousand walls, and suddenly he was terrified he had ruined everything. After all this time, he was losing her yet again. And yet again, it was his own damn fault. After a deafening silence, however, she sighed and stepped aside, motioning for him to enter. The slightest bit of relief swept over him as he gratefully obliged.

                He stepped over the piles of books cluttering the floor, hesitantly taking a seat on the edge of her bed. She sunk down among her nest of literature once again, and for a while they said nothing. He looked out the window, wondered if he had made a mistake. The longer she went without speaking, the more his heart ached. She huffed her bangs out of her face, then said sourly, “So what did you want, exactly?”

                “I just wanted to talk” he replied. He had never felt so uncomfortable around her before. This was a side of her he didn’t think he had ever seen, and it hurt his heart to see her so cold. Is this how she felt all that time he had kept his distance? If so, he better understood her rage now. This was a pain unlike anything he had ever felt before, betrayal and disappointment all wrapped up in one neat little tragic package.

                Rei pursed her lips. “About what?”

                “I think you know” Kakashi said. Rei spun herself around on the floor, looking up at him like a child at storytime, but one who has been refused the privilege of a nap.

                “So you’re finally going to tell me what the fuck is going on with you?” she asked. “Whatever happened to ‘please don’t leave me’, huh? I thought this was a two-way street, Kakashi.”

                “I-I didn’t mean—” he began.

                “I don’t know why I ever thought things would be different” she muttered angrily. “I don’t know why I ever thought this time you would stick around. Guess I’m just a naïve piece of shit.”

                “Rei, stop” he insisted, his voice rising in volume. “It wasn’t my choice. I didn’t quit, I was removed.”

                Rei glared up at him. “Removed?” 

                Kakashi nodded, then explained slowly and cautiously his encounter with the hokage. Rei’s mind harkened back to that day the old man had assigned her to watch over him, and a sickening sensation struck her. So she had failed. No matter what she had tried, she had failed and now Kakashi had been removed from the black ops because of it. She slammed her fist against the floor. _Worthless._

“So what are we supposed to do now?” she asked.

                “I’ve been assigned to train genin as a jonin leader” Kakashi replied. “So far it hasn’t gone well.”

                “Not that” Rei spat, swatting at the air. “I mean _us._ ”

                “Oh…” Kakashi replied, eyes downcast. “What do you mean?”

                Rei stood up and began fixing herself a pot of tea, to keep her back to him if for nothing else. “You left without so much as an explanation” she said, her voice quieter now than she expected or even wanted. “Do you have any idea what this did to me?”

                “Rei…” Kakashi said quietly, standing and approaching her. “I’m so sorry. I should’ve told you what was going on.”

                “Well, you didn’t” she snapped back. She looked at him over her shoulder, eyes fierce. A warning. _Don’t come any closer_. “You left me behind, and you said nothing. I had no idea what happened to you or if you were alright or where the hell you had even gone. If you even still cared about me at all.”

                Kakashi’s heart broke at the insinuation. “Rei, please…” he begged. By now, he didn’t care what her body language warned against. He stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, resting his forehead against the top of her head so that his breath, muted through his mask, hit the back of her neck. “You are the most important thing in the world to me” he whispered. “I would tear the world apart if anything ever happened to you. Everything has just happened so quickly. I’m not even sure if this is what I want, this jonin leader position. Things are complicated right now.”

                Rei sighed, dropped her shoulders, gripped the edge of the counter. She didn’t want to do this. In a quiet, powerful voice, she then replied, “That’s no excuse to leave me out of things. I have a right to know what’s going on.”

                “I know” Kakashi whispered, his voice cracking. For a moment, by the unsteadiness of his breath, she almost thought he was going to cry. He held it together, though, rubbing Rei’s sides and kissing the top of her head. “Let me atone for it, then. Please.” Rei turned around slowly, unsure if he meant sexually or emotionally, but then looked in his eyes and understood it was definitely the latter. He cupped her cheek and pressed his forehead against hers, exhaling. “Let me tell you everything.” 

                Rei poured them both cups of tea as Kakashi reorganized the books on the floor so that there would be room for both of them. As she approached, drinks in hand, he pulled the duvet down from her bed and spread it across the floor like a picnic blanket, motioning for her to please join him. She obliged, and then he began his tale. He told her everything—his meeting with the hokage, their conversation, his transition to jonin leader. There was an uncertainty in his voice as he mentioned his new position, averting his eyes. Rei drew her knees to her chest like a child and watched him curiously.

                “Do you wish you had stayed?” she then asked. Kakashi met her gaze, blinked.

                “I don’t know” he said, voice low. “I don’t know if I’m cut out for this.”

                “What?” she asked. “Teaching kids?”

                Kakashi nodded. “I failed my first genin team today. They were so…self-absorbed. Have kids always been like this, or have they gotten worse over the years?”

                “I don’t know, do I look like I babysit?” Rei asked, rolling her eyes playfully. “Kids are snot-nosed little brats that will get away with anything if you let them. You can’t let them go out into the shinobi world thinking they can get whatever they want. It’s suicide.”

                “I don’t even think I know how to deal with kids” Kakashi confided. “What if I make a mistake, and screw them up?”

                Rei chuckled softly, shaking her head. “You’re their teacher, not their father. You’re only job is to show them how to survive out there, and beat the asshole out of them and then hopefully they’ll become slightly more tolerable teeangers, who turn into slightly more tolerable adults.”

                “Their teamwork was terrible” Kakashi then said, shaking his head. He laughed lightly at the thought of it, though it wasn’t so much from amusement as it was the absurdity of it all. “But maybe I was too hard on them. I tried the bell test that Minato sensei used on us when we were kids. They ended up threatening to eliminate each other instead. Maybe I should’ve intervened sooner. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough on the rules.”

                By now, Rei could almost feel a palpable sense of conflict and disappointment radiating from her boyfriend. She scooted closer to him, tugging the blanket along with her, then snuggled against his side with her head upon his shoulder. “You did the right thing” she said. He looked down at her, borderline surprised at her assurance. “The life of a shinobi is dangerous” she continued. “If they can’t handle a single stupid bell test, they’re clearly not ready to go on missions and actually work. That’s not your fault, Kakashi. The teachers at the academy are to blame for that. They should’ve done a better job of preparing these kids for the world they will soon be entering. They’re the ones who should’ve taught them the importance of teamwork.”

                Her words lingered in the air, thick with profundity, for a moment longer. Kakashi gazed down at her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her close. He wasn’t sure if he had truly done the right thing like she seemed to think, nor did he know still if this was where he was meant to be, but one thing was for certain. No matter what, whatever snotty brats he was to be assigned next, he was not going to fail as their teacher. He was going to make them work hard, drill the proper principles into them, and above all enforce the absolute most important commandment: teamwork.


	36. Team 7

Kakashi’s second team of students was just as massive a failure as the first. Three brothers dependent on each other, they understood teamwork but were too hellbent on following the rules. The Copy Ninja retreated to his girlfriend’s apartment yet again, defeated.

                _Still so cold and unforgiving_ , the hokage thought to himself as he reviewed the latest reports. It seemed that this, too, was failing to give Kakashi a sense of purpose. If this was to have any chance of working, he would need to take drastic measures. He would need to assign Kakashi the team from hell. He looked over the list of recent academy graduates and an idea suddenly overtook him. It was ridiculous, but it might just work.

                “You wanted to see me, sir?” Kakashi asked, poking his head into the hokage’s office. Lord Third huffed his pipe and stood from his desk, motioning for the young ninja to follow him.

                “I have another new assignment for you, Kakashi” he explained. “Come, walk with me.” Kakashi followed dutifully behind as the hokage strolled through Konoha, a look of great purpose on his face. They walked in silence for a long while, Kakashi staring ahead lost in thought. What was this all about? Had he failed once again? He braced himself for the bad news. _I’m sorry, but you’re just not cut out for this. You’re too heartless for the ANBU, and you’re too heartless to be a jonin leader. You might as well just quit being a ninja altogether._ The more he thought about it, however, the more enticing the idea slowly became. Maybe leaving the shinobi lifestyle would be a good thing. He could buy a house on the outskirts of town, maybe take up gardening. He would have all the time in the world to read his books. The simple life. He would never have to fear death ever again. Hell, perhaps he could even bring Rei with him. She could still continue working, and then when she would come home, he would have a fine dinner prepared and they could sit back and watch the stars with a bottle of sake and no cares in the world. It could work. It was plausible. Losing his job wouldn’t be the end of the world. And then the hokage’s voice finally broke through the silence. Kakashi prepared for his fate. “Regarding the next group of genin that you’ll be in charge of…”

                Kakashi opened his mouth to speak, but the words hadn’t quite registered yet. _Wait, what? Next group of genin?_ This didn’t make much sense. Here he was, having actually accepted leaving his job, only to be presented with the exact opposite. He blinked, swallowed. “Me? Again?”

                The hokage chuckled. “Aren’t you excited to set out with your own apprentices?” Kakashi didn’t answer. After so many failed attempts, and so much hesitation about his capabilities in this field, yet another group of kids seemed like so much work. Did he really want to put in the effort, when deep down he already knew that they, too, would surely fail? As if he had read the young man’s mind, the hokage then added, “I’m sure this new batch of genin will hold your interest.”

                Kakashi followed the hokage’s gaze then to a shabby apartment complex in the center of town. Each story was wrapped in uneven green fencing, and piping snaked along the roofs. Jutting from the top floor was a small balcony. As Kakashi stared upon this place, wondering what kind of person would live in a hole like this, the hokage said, “This is Naruto Uzumaki’s house.”

                “Lord Fourth’s orphan…” Kakashi replied, a sense of recognition striking him. He thought back to his youth, that afternoon when Minato sensei called him into his office. Announced that Kushina was pregnant and requested Kakashi watch over her up until the birth. He had seen Naruto often throughout the years, though only ever in passing. He certainly had a way of making himself known, often in the most frustrating manner.

                The hokage tipped his hat to keep the sun out of his eyes, asked, “Are you a little interested now?” Despite the invasion of privacy, they traversed the stairs to the top floor and stepped inside the empty apartment. Half eaten bags of chips and empty ramen containers littered the kitchen table, the bed, the floor. Kakashi lifted an opened milk carton, sniffed the contents. _This milk is way past its expiration date._ He looked around the rest of the apartment, dumbfounded. If he hadn’t watched Kushina’s belly grow for nine months, per Minato sensei’s instruction, he never would have guessed this was his son. Naruto seemed to lack any trace of his father’s organizational skill.

                As he set the milk back down, the hokage continued, “That Uchiha boy, Sasuke, is also on your squad.” Kakashi thought back to his days in the ANBU, to when little Itachi Uchiha joined his team. He wondered if Sasuke shared his brother’s work ethic and critical eye. Or perhaps losing his entire family at Itachi’s hand had turned the younger Uchiha into the exact opposite. Either way, Sasuke was at the top of his class and that alone was admirable.

                After a painful and far too lengthy encounter with the parents of his third student, Sakura Haruno, they stepped foot into Sasuke’s apartment. As they entered, the hokage explained things Kakashi already knew about the Uchiha, the young man’s mind flashing back to the aftermath of their clan’s slaughter. To think, someplace he had gone so frequently as a child was now boarded up and abandoned. Perhaps the Uchiha were just magnets for tragedy. It was clear in the way Sasuke kept his apartment that he had inherited his father and his brother’s self-discipline, but it was unclear what else he had carried on.

                These three children…he hadn’t even met them himself yet, and he could already see just how painfully different they all were. Their potential for teamwork was likely slim. This would no doubt be the same as every other year. He took a seat beside Lord Third near the playground, cans of soda in hand, and wondered what the point of it all was. “Why did you put me in charge of those three?”

                A sly smile toyed on the hokage’s lips. “Well there’s a hopeless fool, a skilled protégé, and a clever kunoichi…I’d say it’s much like Minato’s old team.”

                Kakashi’s eyes widened, taken aback a moment. His childhood comrades flashed in his mind, and he hated that he saw the similarities. If anything, though, that just made him all the more hesitant. They say history repeats itself, but he didn’t think he could stand to watch everything unfold tragically once again. “So you chose me on purpose…?”

                The hokage sipped his drink and bowed his head. “It is all about the right man for the right job. I must carefully consider every assignment, each shinobi and their individual talents. Sasuke graduated top of his class, and Naruto? At the bottom. It may seem like an unlikely group, and maybe they will not succeed, but I have seen some miraculous things lately. The children that have come out of the academy, certainly not all of them are destined to be great shinobi, but some of them are very talented. Guy’s team, that was formed last year, has really come into their own, as has Kurenai’s specializing in sensory abiltiies and Asuma’s with their secret ninjutsu. I have faith in you that you can do the same. You are the only one who can lead this team. There is no one else who can advise Sasuke with his sharingan.”

                Kakashi nodded slowly, then asked, “What about the others? Naruto, and Sakura?”

                “You already know all about Naruto” the hokage said flippantly. “As for Sakura, right now she is only average but I believe she has the potential to someday become a great kunoichi. Together, I believe the three of them will be very capable. The dynamics of this group will bode well for their progress, even if only on the basis of sex. Men notice women, and rivalry matures both.”

                This was really too much. The hokage had outdone himself this time. “So you’ve even considered how the squad will develop?”

                The old man nodded. “That’s right.”

                Kakashi sucked in a deep breath then, and replied, “I understand your logic behind this, Lord Third, but…I failed twice with squads that you organized.” _And don’t think I have the motivation to go through all of this again_ , he thought to himself. He thought it disrespectful to seem so ungrateful for work, though, and therefore kept his mouth shut.

                “This is true” the hokage said, then took another sip of his drink and asked, “But did you fail them because of personal feelings, or because you did not feel that they were ready?” Kakashi sighed and locked his eyes on the ground ahead, rubbing his thumb against the near-empty soda can. “You have sound judgment, Kakashi. You have seen much, and know the worst of what can happen in the shinobi world. I have faith that you will teach these children well. Ultimately, this will prove to be a valuable lesson for them.” _And for you_ , the old man thought to himself. Of all the attempts he had made at softening Kakashi’s dark heart, he hoped that this would be the one that finally stuck.

                As the day came to a close, Kakashi trudged back to his apartment with many a thought in his head. He was still so unsure about this, about whether this was the right thing to do. With how frequently the hokage compared this new team to Minato sensei’s, a new fear began to dawn upon Kakashi, as well. How would he ever live up to his former teacher? How could he ensure that these kids would never have to face the same tragedies that his own team had? He knew he was ultimately to blame. Rin, Obito, and himself—their teamwork was weak. And now all but one were dead because of it. He refused to let the same happen here.

                Come sunrise, he had awoken and already started out to the cemetery. He was due to meet his new squad but first he had some important business to take care of. As he stood before Obito’s grave, he thought about his past and his childhood team, everything they had been through and all the tragedy they had faced. “I don’t know if I’m going to be any good at this, Obito” he laughed sadly. “What if they turn out just like we did? What if I screw them up? And Minato sensei…” his voice trailed off. He knew Obito likely couldn’t hear him in the beyond, wherever his spirit went after he had died, but just pretending like he could hear was comforting enough. 

                Kakashi wondered if he could procrastinate long enough to avoid this altogether, but he knew that was impossible. A strong gust of wind struck him from the left, flurrying leaves along with it, and he knew then that it was time to go. He bid one last goodbye to Obito, and to Rin as well, and then made his way to the academy.

                Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke were the only kids left by the time Kakashi arrived. He could hear them arguing from down the hallway, and almost turned right back around and walked out. Almost.

                He sucked in a deep breath, preparing himself for the chaos that was about to ensue, then slid the door open and stepped inside. _Thunk!_ He froze as an eraser fell atop his head then tumbled to the floor. His new students stared at him in awe, shock, and in terms of Sasuke, disappointment.

                “He fell for it!” Naruto laughed, pointing in amusement. Could this have been an act of teamwork? If so, then he would let it slide and perhaps there was hope for them yet. It was when Sakura burst out apologizing, claiming that try as she might, she couldn’t stop Naruto, that Kakashi’s hope was quickly dashed. He leaned down and considered the eraser for a moment, as well as his own thoughts.

                “Hmmm...how can I put this?” he started thoughtfully, “My first impression of this group: you’re a bunch of idiots.” And on their faces was nothing but defeat.

                He let them go early that day after a brutal attempt at introductions. His initial opinions had yet to shift. Naruto was an absolute idiot, all Sakura cared about was Sasuke, and all Sasuke seemed to care about was brooding behind his tented fingers. He wondered how they would fare with the bell test, but that was for another day. Right now, all he wanted was to relax. He stepped foot in the ANBU living quarter’s lobby, ascended the stairs, and knocked on Rei’s door.

                “So how did things go? Another batch of failures?” she asked as he stepped inside. Kakashi sighed and fell backward onto the bed. “That bad, huh?” Rei asked.

                “I don’t know if I can take this anymore” Kakashi sighed. The rest of the afternoon, he sat confiding in Rei about all of his thoughts and feelings on this new team of his. Unlike in past attempts, there was so much more pressure on him this time around. Naruto was the nine tails jinchuriki: one false move and the entire village could be destroyed once again. He knew he was the only person who could ever train Sasuke thanks to Obito’s sharingan, but that still didn’t erase his concerns. And Sakura would likely only get in the way. She was talentless.

                “Do you think the hokage made a mistake?” Rei asked.

                Kakashi shook his head. “I’m not sure” he replied. “If anything, I think I’m the one who made the mistake. I never should’ve accepted to become a jonin leader in the first place.”

                “You’re so damn hard on yourself” she sighed. Laying back on the bed with him, she stared up at the ceiling and laced her fingers in his. “Listen” she started, “I know you’re tired, and that you don’t think you’re particularly cut out for this. I’d feel the same way if I were you. But I think now is the time to put aside your personal feelings and suck it up.”

                Kakashi turned to face her, a sense of surprise crossing his face. He hadn’t expected her to be so harsh. “Oh?”

                She nodded definitively, propping herself up on her elbows. “You’re the only person who can do this job, Kakashi. Even if you fail, your effort will be ten times better than anyone else’s because there is no one else in Konoha equipped to handle a team like this. You have to do this whether you want to or not.”

                The copy ninja blinked, considering her words. He knew she had the best intentions but if anything, this just added to the weight of the whole thing. He couldn’t afford to fail. Not this time. There was far too much at stake. “Well” he sighed, “I guess it all depends on how they handle the bell test.” A part of him hoped they’d crash and burn. At least that way, he could sneak his way out of this. Fail them so hard, he could disqualify them from the program altogether. Erase any and all hopes of ever becoming ninja. It was foolproof in theory, but in practice he knew it was a dumb move. Ignorance is the source of all evil, as they say, and the last thing he needed was another Nine Tails attack or Uchiha murderer solely because he didn’t want to teach them basic skills. At least Sakura would be useless either way.

                The following morning, Kakashi met with his team of hopefuls in the field by the memorial. He explained the task in the most basic terms—“If you’re not prepared to kill me, you won’t be able to take the bells.” Of course, Naruto charged full speed ahead with kunai in hand, revved up for the fight. Kakashi halted him almost immediately. “I haven’t said start yet” he said, smirking a bit underneath that mask. However, he saw a fire in this kid’s eyes that touched him. He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but perhaps these kids were at least vaguely likeable after all. He surveyed the three of them, crouched in anticipation, and for a moment he saw his own youth reflected in them: Naruto’s goofy confidence like Obito’s, Sakura emitting the same compassion as Rin, and Sasuke’s prodigal determination mimicking his own. “And…start!” And they were off.

                The whole morning was a game of cat and mouse showcasing some of the lowest skills Kakashi had ever seen. All Sakura seemed to care about was Sasuke, so much so that she hardly helped at all. Naruto’s teamwork was strong, but only with his own shadow clones. He apparently felt obligated to take everything on by himself. And Sasuke expressed a level of darkness perhaps equal to that of the ANBU, a dark, brooding determination but like the others, his teamwork was weak. Not unexpected of a prodigy, he couldn’t be bothered to give a damn about the others who were so beneath him in skill. By noon, Kakashi’s faith was wavering.

                “When individuals put themselves above the squad, this can lead to failure. And death” Kakashi pressed. If they weren’t understanding it themselves, he was damn well going to make them understand it. He turned and motioned to the memorial stone behind him, explaining that there upon it were written the names of ninja who were all killed in action, many of which were his closest friends. He thought of Obito and Rin, of all the other shinobi who had died in the war. This career was not one to take lightly. So many had been lost. “Eat lunch to build up your strength, but Naruto doesn’t get any.”

                By sunset, Rei had finally finished rearranging her bookshelf. She was just putting the finishing touches on her organizational system when a familiar face poked his head in the door. “I thought you didn’t like an open door policy” Kakashi commented.

                “I don’t” Rei replied, “But it was getting too damn stuffy in here, I needed some air flow.” She adjusted one of the titles on the upper shelf, standing on tiptoes, as Kakashi approached.

                “I see you’ve been working hard” he said, taking a seat on the edge of her bed. Rei turned and nodded, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She had done a good job, her collection meticulously organized into a rainbow of descending size and alphabet. “I’m sure Kaminoki is in ruins without you.”

                Rei swatted at the air dismissively as she took a seat beside her boyfriend. “They’ll live” she replied. She doubted they would want her back anyway, especially after the disaster that was her mother’s birthday. “How did things go today? Did they fail miserably?”

                Kakashi averted his eyes and rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually…they all passed.”

                “I’m sorry, they what?” Rei asked, mouth gaping. To think, Kakashi Hatake finally passed his first batch of genin. This was unheard of. “Alright, who are you and what you have done with Kakashi?” she added, a slight laugh to her voice.

                The copy ninja shook his head and looked at her with a strange, poignant expression. “Actually, they may not be that bad” he replied. “They’ll need a lot of work, but they did something today that I’ve never seen any of the others do before. They defied me for the sake of the team. And that is why they passed.”

                The redhead scoffed impressively and leaned back on her elbows. “I guess kids today aren’t quite as stupid as I thought they were” she said. “So I guess I should start calling you Kakashi sensei, huh?” She nudged him in the upper arm with a laugh, but Kakashi simply shook his head and tried to restrain himself from showing amusement at her joke.

                “I really never thought this would happen” he said, “But I guess I can’t back out this time. These kids are officially my responsibility.” It was then that the copy ninja laid back on Rei’s bed, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes and sighing. “What have I gotten myself into this time?”

                Rei laid back beside him, crossing one bent leg over the other. “I’m sure you’ll do fine. I trust that you’ll do right by them, and guide them in the right direction. Have a little faith in yourself, Kakashi.”

                He wanted to believe her words, he truly did, but after so many years it was hard to think of himself as a teacher. The bell test was easy: just keep them as far away as possible, drill into them what he knows they won’t retain, then send them back to the academy. It was simple, straightforward, a loophole out of committing. Now, however, he had no choice. The weight of these kids’ futures rested on his shoulders. What could he possibly teach them going forward? How to kill off everyone you love and live with the guilt for the rest of your life? He refused to let them face that same kind of pain. He refused to guide them down a dark path of death and destruction.

                Rei could see the coldness return in his eyes, narrowing in deep contemplation. She could tell he was going to the bad place again. She gently reached her hand out to lace her fingers in his, a soft smile touching her lips. “You’ll be fine. I promise.”

                He looked at her then and just the mere sight of her was enough to bring him back to center. He loved that about her. He pressed his forehead against hers, brushed her hair away from her face. In a hushed tone, he replied, “Thank you.” She laughed softly, kissed his cheek through his mask, and gently squeezed his hand. After a beat of silence, however, a question then fell from his lips that he never thought he’d hear, or at least he hoped he wouldn’t.

                “So, when do I get to meet them?”


	37. Hanare

Rei perched herself on the roof of a nearby building, sheltered by the large trees overhead. Kakashi was bound to return any minute and while she was meant to be working, she figured Konoha was in good enough hands that she could spare some time to see her boyfriend, even if only from afar. That was the way things had been lately. Kakashi insisted they separate themselves in public for fear of mingling his work life with his personal. He didn’t want the kids to get invested in him outside of missions and training. They didn’t need to know anything about his life, past or present.

                Initially, Rei had protested this. She didn’t see the point in hiding things from them, but ultimately gave in to Kakashi’s insistence. After all, she had to agree that dating in the shinobi world was dangerous. Anyone and everyone you held near and dear was liable to be taken as a pawn by the enemy. Kakashi had already lost so much, he couldn’t stand the risk. It was better this way, she tried to tell herself. She was anonymous most of the time as an ANBU, anyways. No one had any clue who she was lurking around in a mask, unseen and unheard. She accepted things the way they were meant to be, but that didn’t stop her from yearning.

                She readjusted her mask upon her face just as Kakashi and his team reentered the village. _There he is_ , she thought to herself, smiling. She promised herself she would crouch there for only a moment longer, but then came another group of great interest. She followed Kakashi’s line of vision to a group of ANBU escorting a young, handcuffed woman into the village. She studied the criminal’s face, looking for clues as to who she may be. The only information she could gather was that she was breathtakingly beautiful. Her eyes drifted back to Kakashi, and she clenched the kunai at her side. _Stop looking at her like that._ The expression on his face made her stomach churn. Inhaling through clenched teeth, she sheathed her kunai and disappeared into the trees. A strong gust of wind broke past the front gates.

                “Haven’t seen you in a while” a dark voice greeted. Rei crossed her arms, standing in the doorway of the Honesty Room. A plethora of torture devices surrounded her and she smirked under her mask. Something about them made her feel powerful, or at least so long as she wasn’t the victim.

                “I saw a couple of ANBU escorting a woman into the village earlier. Tell me what you know about her” Rei insisted. Ibiki cocked a brow, then smiled scandalously.

                “What do you want to know?” he replied.

                “Anything and everything” the redhead said. Ibiki wasn’t sure what Rei’s motive was, why she seemed so determined to find out something about this woman, but he liked the fire in her eyes. He motioned for her to come in and shut the door, and he would tell her everything he knew.

                Rei gritted her teeth and sharpened her kunai in the ANBU armory, not caring if she cut herself in the process. _She resisted pain_ , she thought to herself. _She resisted Ibiki’s fucking pain_. She wanted to scream. She wanted to pound her fists against the wall and throw something across the room. Her name was Hanare, and she was disguised as a street performer to gain intel on the Land of Fire. She was a terrible criminal who deserved punishment for her crimes, and yet Kakashi was staring at her like she put the stars in the sky. “Pathetic!” she screamed, launching a kunai across the room.

                “Whoa, a little spicy today, are we?” Naru called from behind the door. She entered cautiously to sharpen her own set of kunai. “What’s gotten into you?” she asked.

                “Nothing” Rei replied through gritted teeth. “Just the injustice of criminal resistance and the theft of something that doesn’t belong to you.” She approached the door, tugged the kunai out of the wall, then disappeared.

                Rei paid no mind to anyone approaching as she barreled down the hallway. They could make way for her. She wasn’t in the mood to humor others. Her shoulder bumped hard into someone else’s, and she opened her mouth to curse them out only to be silenced at the sight of Kakashi. They locked eyes for a moment, and there was something missing in his gaze. Something not quite apologetic, but blank. Inoichi’s voice stirred them both from their daze, calling Kakashi to follow him. Rei watched them disappear, feeling defeated.

                Kakashi couldn’t quite wrap his head around this. He looked at Hanare sitting alone in the interrogation room, trying to piece together what Inoichi had told him. He had gotten a strange feeling the moment he saw her, as if he was exposed and vulnerable, a sense of mutual recognition.

                “Do you know anything about her?” Inoichi asked.

                “No” Kakashi replied. “I’ve never met her before.” He was honest in saying that. He had no recollection of her whatsoever. The fact that she remembered him so distinctly in his youth, however, was…jarring.

                “I need your help, Kakashi” Inoichi implored. The copy ninja looked at the man in confusion; he wasn’t a member of the intel division, this wasn’t exactly his line of work. “She’s hiding something. Something even I can’t figure out, but maybe your sharingan can.” Kakashi placed a hand over his headband, over that secondhand eye he kept hidden. It made sense. The sharingan was powerful, and if she had memories of him then she would be likely to trust him more than someone else in the village. He glanced to the door, then back to Hanare through the one-way mirror. He knew the repercussions he was going to face, but he had no other choice. It was for the sake of the Leaf Village.

                “You must be a fool” Hanare insisted. She followed close behind Kakashi, dressed in casual attire they had given her in headquarters. Naru helped pick the outfit, much to Rei’s dismay. _You’re being so kind to me_ , Hanare had said, her cheeks tinted pink. Naru grinned. _Well, I do have an eye for fashion and we can’t possibly let you walk around in that thing_ , she had said, motioning to Hanare’s street performer attire. Splotches of blood decorated the fur collar. Rei rolled her eyes from the doorway as Naru went on and on about how she was a great model to work with, anyways, that she looked great in anything and how she had a million and one ideas filtering through her head and she would look stunning in all of them. Rei scoffed. _Put a sock in it, Naru_ , she thought to herself. _She’s in prison, not on a runway._ She didn’t agree with the way things were panning out at all. She refused to look at Kakashi while he stood in headquarters awaiting his charge. The thought of it all made her sick. And now here she was, the dark-haired vixen, walking behind him through the very village she had tried to infiltrate.

                “You won’t see anything here that you wouldn’t in any other village” Kakashi assured her. “Besides, I figured you could use some fresh air.” Rei peered around the corner to spy on them. _I say we should’ve let her suffocate_ , she thought to herself.

                Word of Kakashi’s endeavors spread fast in a close-knit community like Konoha and soon Rei was not the only one spying. Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto took great interest in their sensei’s personal life, stars in their eyes at the thought of his romantic escapades. Rei caught them weaving through the crowd to follow the pair as they snuck off, clearing her throat so as to capture their attention. They all turned slowly around, wincing at the sight of an ANBU.

                “We weren’t doing anything, we swear!” Sakura shouted, then added, “It was all Naruto’s idea!”

                “Hey!” Naruto exclaimed. “Why’d you have to go and blame me, huh?”

                “Don’t you kids have anything better to do than pry into people’s personal lives?” Rei asked harshly. From behind that mask, she was intimidating and harsh. “I suggest you all knock it off before you cause any trouble. That woman is a dangerous criminal. You shouldn’t fall into some trap just because she’s beautiful.” The three blinked up at her, dumbfounded, then nodded vigorously. She knew they weren’t going to listen. There was still too much curiosity in their eyes.

                The minute she was gone, Naruto started off again after his sensei. Sakura clenched her fists. “Where are you going?” she called after him.

                “To see what happens next!” Naruto replied.

                “B-but the ANBU!” Sakura protested.

                Naruto swatted at the air. “They’re not going to do anything” he insisted. Before Sakura could say anything more, Naruto was already off. She turned to Sasuke, who simply rolled his eyes and then slowly walked after him.

                “Now where are you going?” Sakura asked.

                “He’s going to get in trouble, and I’d like to see it for myself” he replied, not even turning around to face her. Sakura watched him disappear, too, feeling defeated, before finally sighing and deciding to join them. At least she could always say that this was not her idea when they did, inevitably, get caught.

                They followed the couple all the way to a pass overlooking the village and shaded by large, gnarling trees. _The perfect time to use that jutsu_ , Rei thought to herself. She disappeared against the backdrop of the foliage like a chameleon, watching the two from afar. The Chameleon Jutsu wasn’t impervious to the strength of the sharingan but with his left eye covered, Rei didn’t expect her boyfriend to be using that power anytime soon. She was safe for now.

                “I was asked to spend the day with you, that’s all” she overheard Kakashi say as Hanare stepped nearer. “And once the day is done, so is my assignment.” _Oh yeah, fuck off_ , Rei thought to herself. Kakashi stared up at the sky, directing their attention to clouds overhead reminding him of Naruto and Sasuke.

                A look of sad contemplation crossed Hanare’s face. “When things were hard or I was sad, I would always look up at the clouds. I’d stare at them and let my imagination run free. Those daydreams helped me endure my loneliness…it was the only way I could accept being just a spy” she explained. She went on to lament about never having a home or family, of her life as a spy for a village she had never seen before.

                Rei overhead Sakura squeal from below. “They both seem so perfect for each other!” The redhead clenched her teeth and restrained herself from acting on her anger. Now was not the time to give herself away.

                “Why are you telling me all of this now, when you’ve been silent all day?” Kakashi then asked.

                “Because…there’s something that you taught me. I knew the moment I saw you” Hanare replied. Rei leaned in close to listen. “You were the boy from my past.”

                Rei listened closely to Hanare’s story and damn did she have questions. Hanare explained that she was lost and helpless from looking for her parents when she and Kakashi had met. If that was the case, Kakashi would’ve been outside the Hidden Lock village _alone._

                Hanare continued on. “You said that whenever I was feeling sad, that I should look up at the clouds, that as the clouds changed shape, I could turn them into whatever I wanted. You promised me that as long as I had hope, the clouds would give me the comfort I needed.” Rei’s heart jolted, then plummeted into her stomach. “From then on, I had searched the clouds for your likeness. That’s why I recognized you right away. You’ve always been in my heart” Hanare continued. That was it. Rei had heard enough. She started off just as Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke fell from the tree overhead. The abruptness of it all was enough to shock Rei out of her jutsu. She was grateful for the subsequent cloud of dust that encircled them, leaping behind the stairway in a quick escape. When she peered back up at the scene, she saw Hanare had fallen back onto the ground. Kakashi was on top of her, his lips pressed against hers. _You son of a bitch._

Kakashi couldn’t quite wrap his head around his student’s actions. He had never expected them to become so invested. When he and Hanare rose from the ground, they shouted _congratulations_ and handed them flowers. Hanare simply blushed and thanked them, as if they had already accepted the terms and conditions of this relationship. This was nothing official. He didn’t know her. Her story about when they were children, and that kiss…there were a lot of things to think about. But right now, as the sun was setting and he was returning home, all he wanted was a hot shower and a good night’s rest. He passed the ANBU residential quarters and considered stepping inside, but thought better of it when he looked up at Rei’s window and found it completely dark. As unorthodox as an early night was for her, he didn’t want to put it past her and bother her, as much as it did sting to know he wouldn’t be seeing her tonight.

                She caught sight of him passing by on his way home and nearly threw one of her books through the window. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped the blanket tight around her shoulders, her breathing heavy. Her thighs and forearms stung.

                “What has gotten into you?” Naru asked the following day. She walked alongside her friend as they entered the meeting hall in the hokage’s headquarters, assigned to guard duty for the day.

                “Nothing” Rei replied bluntly. “Just tired.”

                Naru knew her well enough to know there was more to it, but there was no time to speak further on the subject now. She would just have to weed it out of her once their shift was over.

                That afternoon, Lord Third had called upon Ibiki and Inoichi as well as Kakashi and Team 7 to update them on the Hanare issue as he currently understood it. Word had reached Konoha that the Hidden Lock village had captured a Konoha jonin, Riichi, who was to be returned in exchange for Hanare. “Fortunately for us,” the hokage continued, “it seems she has gained no information about the Land of Fire or the Leaf Village, so releasing her would be harmless.”

                A look of stark recognition crossed Kakashi’s face, and he jolted forward. “No, you can’t! I am completely opposed to giving her back!” he insisted. Naru cocked a brow beneath her mask, glancing to Rei. The redhead clenched her fists at her sides, sucked in a sharp breath. The desperation on Kakashi’s face was obvious. The hokage hummed quizzically.

                “Well, then what do you suppose we do about Riichi?” he posed. “If we do not comply, then we risk waging war against the Hidden Lock.”

                “I…” Kakashi started, but he didn’t have a solid answer. “I just don’t think this is a good idea.”

                “Good idea or not, it must be done” the hokage replied. “For the sake of our own people.”

                Rei could hardly believe this—he would let Riichi, a man she hardly even knew but was one of their own regardless, suffer for the sake of keeping some beautiful criminal. Kakashi locked eyes with her a moment, expression defeated, as he exited. Rei barely gave him any recognition.

                Naru watched her friend cautiously that evening in the locker rooms as she removed her ANBU attire violently. She hated seeing her like this. “Uh, Rei?” she called from across the room.

                “What?” Rei huffed, daggers in her eyes.

                “I have an idea” the blonde replied, forcing a bubbly smile on her face. “Why don’t we have a sleepover tonight, just you and me. We could bake cookies and watch shitty romantic comedies. It’ll be fun. Promise.”

                “I’m fine, thanks” Rei replied.

                Naru frowned and inched closer. Nudging Rei lightly on the shoulder, she cooed, “We could rig dirty dish water over Tenshi’s doorway! Can you imagine her face when she steps outside only to be soaked head to toe?!”

                Rei recoiled, refusing to look at the blonde. “As tempting as that is, I think I’d rather just be alone tonight.” She slammed her locker shut, gathered her things, and approached the door.

                Defeated, Naru watched her depart but not without one last word. “I’m not going to sit by and watch you suffer tonight, Rei!” she called. “I know you’re a flight risk!”

                Rei never liked that term, _flight risk._ It left a sour taste in her mouth. She wasn’t even going to leave the village, anyway. Exactly the opposite, actually. Hole herself up in her apartment, stay up until three hours before she has work, gorge herself on instant ramen. She had lots of important things to do. Rei’s bandaged arms were not lost on Naru, however. The blonde knew what her friend was capable of—she had seen it firsthand. She refused to let her comrade hurt herself. It wasn’t worth it, no matter how many excuses Rei fed her.

                When Naru knocked on her door that night, prepared to sleep over, there was no answer. Naru pressed her forehead against the door and groaned. A few minutes passed before a note shuffled past the threshold. _I’m fine, don’t worry about me. I just want to sleep. Go home, Naru._ “Fucking perfect” she muttered to herself. She stayed outside for an hour more, knocking every so often, until she could barely keep her eyes open. Eventually, she had to admit this wasn’t happening. Rei was stubborn as fuck, and Naru could only do so much. “Alright, fine” the blonde whispered to herself. “But if you kill yourself tonight, nobody can say I didn’t try to stop you.” Even saying it sent a shiver down her spine. She took one final glance at Rei’s door, then shook the thought from her mind. Rei was self-destructive, but she wasn’t suicidal. No, she had too much to live for. If anything, she was too much of a control freak to take her own life. The thought of not being on this earth to oversee everything and obsess over minute details scared her too much. She wasn’t going to die.

                The following day, Kakashi had set out early to participate in the exchange. A sick feeling stirred in his stomach. He passed by Rei’s apartment, a detour, in hopes of catching sight of her but it was no use. She was buried in her blankets, cheeks stiff from dried tears, her sleeves pulled over her hands like a child. Sweat beaded on her forehead from the heat underneath the duvet, but she didn’t care. She wanted to stay under there forever. She could live like this, she would be fine. She would eventually either overheat or starve or suffocate, and that would be just alright with her. Every time she thought of Kakashi, another sob broke past her lips. She felt dead and disgusting and defeated.

                Kakashi walked alongside Hanare to the center of the bridge, an electricity pulsing between them. Riichi met his eyes, scared and desperate to just return home. Kakashi didn’t think he could do this. As Hanare returned to where she belonged, she turned and locked eyes with the Copy Ninja, a desperation painting her face. _Please don’t leave me._

                Suddenly, Kakashi whipped out a kunai. “I won’t let you go” he growled. Paper bombs exploded from below, destroying the bridge’s supports and snapping the pathway into pieces. From there, all hell broke loose.

                The return to the village was long and tiring. Naruto stewed the entire trip, and it took all of Kakashi’s strength not to snap at him. Hanare was gone. She had confessed, and he let her go. He felt sick to his stomach thinking about it. The kids’ inquiries were of no help. _But what if she really did love you?_ Sakura asked. It didn’t matter now. He had lied and said she threw herself over the cliff. He could’ve just as easily killed her himself, but he didn’t have the strength. She spoke of Konoha as if it was her true home, of the kids’ blessing as her acceptance. He never should’ve let things get this far. She looked at him with so much love in her eyes, begged him _If I’m going to die, I want it to be by your hand._ He had already been through this once, he refused to do this again. A chidori through the heart—he couldn’t handle yet another girl’s blood on his hands, regardless of her crimes. Rin still haunted his nightmares. He feared through some sick twist of fate he would put Rei through the same. When faced with the choice, he refused to add Hanare to the list.

                Kakashi passed the ANBU living quarters on his way home, glancing yet again up to Rei’s window. This time, it was cracked open and her curtains were billowing with the evening breeze. He ascended the stairs and knocked on the door.

                No answer. Another knock, and suddenly his mind began racing. What if something had happened to her? He swore she must be home, but perhaps an open window meant something else. Perhaps she had been kidnapped, dragged out of the village in the dead of night and murdered in the woods. Worst case scenarios, but fear began to creep through his veins. He knocked again, and again, and then a third time until finally he heard the door unlock and slowly Rei peered into the hallway.

                Immediately, he could tell something was wrong. Darkness encircled her eyes and her hair was more unruly than usual. For a moment, he suspected she may have been crying. She looked at him a long, silent minute, then asked, “What do you want?”

                All the anticipation drained from Kakashi’s face. “I’ve been busy and haven’t had the chance to stop by. I wanted to see you” he explained. “Are you okay?”

                “Fine” she spat. “Alright, you’ve seen me. Now you can go.”

                Kakashi stopped her just as she began closing the door. “Rei, wait” he insisted. She glared up at him, displeased. “Are you sure everything is alright? This isn’t like you.”

                “I told you already, I’m fine” she insisted. “You can go.”

                “I wanted to spend time with you” he pressed.

                Rei laughed darkly and rolled her eyes. “Wouldn’t you rather be spending time with your new girlfriend instead?”

                Kakashi blinked. “W-wait, what? Rei, what are you talking about?”

                “You know exactly what I’m talking about” she replied. “Go off and find that Hanare bitch. I know you’d much rather spend time with her anyways. Key to your heart or whatever stupid, romantic Hidden Lock metaphor you want to tack onto it.”

                “Rei” Kakashi snapped, voice firm. “Where the hell did you get an idea like that?”

                “Don’t play dumb, Kakashi” Rei fired back. “I saw the way she looked at you. I saw you two kissing.”

                _Oh no_. So she had been spying on him. So she knew everything. God, she was even in the hokage’s office when he insisted she stay. All the pieces started to come together in his mind. He had made a terrible mistake. “Rei, listen to me” he said, placing his hands on her shoulders. She attempted to jerk away, but he only tightened his grip. “Let me inside. I can explain everything.”

                After a few moments of deliberation, Rei succumbed to his request, though she made it clear she was not happy about it. She slumped onto the bed, arms crossed, and looked at him expectantly.

                “Hanare was captured trying to gain intel on the Land of Fire” Kakashi started.

                “Yeah, I know all of that” Rei replied flippantly, rolling her eyes.

                “Just, please, let me speak” Kakashi requested. Rei huffed her bangs out of her face and motioned for him to continue. “I knew there was something strange about her from the moment I saw her enter the village. We locked eyes, and there was this weird feeling that I didn’t quite understand.” Rei was confident she was going to be sick. If he was going to ramble on about how he fell in love with this criminal, she didn’t want to hear it. “It wasn’t until Inoichi called me to the interrogation room, and that day her and I spent together, when I realized what had happened. When Inoichi infiltrated her mind to see what kind of intel she had captured, he found memories of meeting me as a child. Inoichi was convinced she was hiding something, and assumed she would trust me, so he assigned me to spend the day with her to see what I could find. It was when we were on that pass that I found out everything. Her right eye can see into other people’s minds and sift through their memories. When we locked eyes as she entered the village, she infiltrated my mind and then fabricated memories of the two of us meeting as children. She wanted to get close to me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but when we fell, she stared into my eyes, and my sharingan copied her jutsu without even realizing it. I could see into my own mind, and that’s when I knew for sure what she had done. I was skeptical from the very beginning. She said that I had told her something about the clouds, which I had distinctly remembered telling you when we were young and your father refused to let you join the academy.”

                Rei nodded slowly in recognition. “I used to lay in the yard with you and we would look up at the clouds together, and pretend they were something else” she said softly.

                Kakashi nodded. “When the hokage proposed the idea of trading Hanare for Riichi, I didn’t oppose sending her back because I loved her. I opposed because I knew she had gained intel both from Inoichi and myself during her time here, and if we let her go she would leak all of that information to the Hidden Lock. I suppose I was right about distrusting her, because they attacked during the exchange.”

                “Did you kill her?” Rei asked. There was a long stretch of silence that gave Rei her answer. “Then you’re no better” she whispered.

                “I refused to kill a ninja who had lost her pride” Kakashi enforced.

                “Pride doesn’t matter when your homeland security is at stake” Rei said. “Whatever happened to not letting your personal feelings interfere with work? You should’ve ended her when you had the chance. How do you know you can trust her, after all she’s done?”

                Kakashi closed his eyes and sighed, shaking his head. “It’s not that simple, Rei.”

                “Yes, it is” she said.

                “No” Kakashi replied. “The way she looked at me on that cliff, before she disappeared…she begged me to kill her. Said she would rather die by my hand if she had a choice. I couldn’t bring myself do it. I’m sure she did love me, and I can’t handle having another girl’s blood on my hands.”

                A chill ran down Rei’s spine. “Rin…” she whispered. Kakashi nodded, not looking up. “Still…” she then added, “That doesn’t mean you should’ve just let her go. Are you sure you didn’t love her back?”

                Kakashi rested a hand atop of Rei’s, hoping it came across as comforting. “I will admit, Hanare was very beautiful and a talented kunoichi”—here Rei snorted as if she was about to break down in tears— “but that means nothing for a ninja without pride or dignity. She could never take your place. You have lots of things that she can only ever dream of having like loyalty to your comrades and your village. More than anything, you have the Will of Fire.” Rei rolled her eyes and scooted out from beneath Kakashi’s grasp. “I mean that” he enforced. “Hanare said she felt as if Konoha was her true home, but this could never be where she truly belonged because she lacked the Will of Fire.”

                “Yeah, and somehow I don’t?” Rei asked. Kakashi shook his head, turning her chin gently to face him.

                “You have the Will of Fire coursing through every inch of your body and then some, Rei” he said. “I have never met a more tenacious and incredible woman in my entire life.”

                “That’s pushing it” Rei replied, forcing a small laugh. “So you don’t regret letting her get away?”

                Kakashi shook his head. “I think I’ll always remember her, but this, right here with you, is where I’m meant to be.” He tugged his mask down around his neck then and planted a gentle kiss upon Rei’s forehead. Her cheeks blushed lightly at the touch, something she feared she may never feel ever again, then rested her head on his shoulder and let herself finally breathe. 


End file.
